Let’s face it, there’s a lot of really good porn online.
Take one look at a porn site and it’s only natural that you will get a boner and may then consider jerking off to calm it down.
Yet, should you be jerking off to porn on a regular basis? Could it be doing you more harm than good?
To answer those questions and more, I’m going to cover the following topics in this article:
- Masturbation statistics for men and women.
- Why do humans feel the urge to masturbate?
- What do doctors and scientists say about male masturbation?
- Can masturbating to porn ruin a man’s attraction for his girlfriend or wife?
- Times when it is okay to masturbate when in a relationship.
- Can excessive masturbation reduce a man’s drive to succeed in life?
- What to do if masturbation is preventing you from getting a girlfriend.
Masturbation Statistics For Men and Women
The following statistics are from various survey and studies from across the world. Percentages do vary based on age and marital status, but these statistics will be sufficient to give you a big picture perspective on masturbation.
When looking at the percentages, take into account that most people aren’t fully honest when asked about masturbation, so you might want to add 10-20% to some of the statistics, especially when it comes to women who tend to be a lot more reserved about admitting to masturbation.
Sources: Wikipedia, National Survey of Sexual Behavior, The Gossard Big M Survey.
As you can see from the statistics above, it’s not only men who masturbate. Women also masturbate to release a build up sexual desire that has not been released with actual intercourse.
When a woman masturbates, she usually closes her eyes and imagines having sex with a guy or remembers a previous sexual experience. Many women in relationships say that when they masturbate, they think of their boyfriend or husband and imagine having sex with him.
Since women are mostly turned on by a man’s confidence and masculinity, women will usually think about a man being very confident and masculine with her in the bedroom. For men, who are mostly turned on by a woman’s physical appearance, looking at porn is the fastest and easiest way to get aroused.
Most women will never admit to masturbating if you ask them face to face, but the statistics from various studies and surveys show that women masturbate to release their built up sexual desire and even for a bit of fun. Some women have said that they masturbate before going to bed at night to help them sleep, or in the morning to get themselves up and out of bed in a good mood.
Sources: Wikipedia, Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, Wikipicks.
Poll
How often do you masturbate?
- A few times a week (31%, 9,816 Votes)
- Every day (35%, 10,881 Votes)
- Multiple times per day (20%, 6,317 Votes)
- Once a month (5%, 1,636 Votes)
- Once a week (9%, 2,792 Votes)
Total Voters: 31,442
Loading ...Why Do Humans Feel the Urge to Masturbate?
Essentially, we humans are hard-wired with an urge to find a mate so we can have offspring and keep the human species going. According to Wikipedia, the total amount of humans that have ever lived is approximately 107 billion.
A lot of sex and baby making has occurred to get us to where we are today. If sex and sexual desire was a bad thing or “wrong,” humans and animals would have died out and vanished into history. Yet, here we are, billions of humans later and we are now communicating via the Internet.
You are reading my article on a computer, phone or tablet and the human race is charging on towards its ultimate destiny. Billions of humans have masturbated, had sex, made babies and made breakthroughs that have led this this very moment.
The fact is, human bodies are designed (or created) in a way that causes us to feel a pent up desire to have sex. When we don’t get that sex, we (both men and women) release the built up desire via masturbation.
Sexual desire is not something that a human can turn off. As you might have seen in the news over the years, even religious figures who say that sex is wrong secretly masturbate or have twisted sexual desires and fantasies that sometimes end up hurting innocent people.
Sexual desire is natural and its purpose is to get us to make copies of ourselves via sexual intercourse.
So, if you’re one of the many modern men who feel guilty for having sexual desire, you should stop punishing yourself for it. You are a human being and are hard-wired to feel that way. It’s completely normal, natural and healthy and it is ensures the replication and survival of our species.
What Do Doctors and Scientists Say About Male Masturbation?
In the 18th and 19th century, conservative people who lied about their sexual desire tried very hard to turn masturbation into a bad thing. Doctors, religious figures and other authority figures claimed that masturbation would lead to mental health issues, blindness and even hairy palms.
Here’s what a doctor said about masturbation in the 1950s, “Masturbation is the most prevalent of all sexual disorders. It is very commonly found in the mentally unstable, the insane and sexual perverts. Masturbation in an otherwise normal individual can produce idiocy.” What an idiot! The bullshit that authority figures used to say in public years ago is hilarious.
Thanks to the efforts of today’s scientists and doctors, modern men are now beginning to learn that masturbation may be healthy, if done in moderation.
In 2003, a team of Australian scientists at the Cancer Council of Victoria, found that men who ejaculate regularly during the ages of 20 to 50 are less likely to develop prostate cancer.
Why? Masturbation allows the prostate and the seminal vesicles to discharge secretions and prevent the build up of carcinogens (the things that cause cancer) that may be concentrated in the prostate.
However, don’t get carried away with it! Excessive masturbation (more than 5 times a week) will cause some men to experience impotence, premature ejaculation and a lack of desire for sex with real women.
In my opinion, masturbating more than once a week when you are single (not in a relationship) means that you don’t have the right balance in life.
To achieve what you really want with women, you should be using your sexual desire to approach and pick up real women and to achieve your life purpose and goals, rather than blowing your pent up sexual desire out into a tissue or sock several times a week.
Sources: Cancer Council Victoria, EmbarrassingProblems.com
Can Masturbating to Porn Ruin a Man’s Attraction For His Girlfriend or Wife?
Definitely.
Think about it.
What do you do when you’re looking for porn videos to jerk off to? You look around for the best videos that turn you on the most and ignore the ones that don’t give you a “Wow” reaction. You want to feel as turned on as possible, rather than having a boring, unfulfilling jerk off to mediocre porn.
If you get into the habit of doing that while in a relationship with a woman, it may change your mindset about what it takes you to get fully aroused for sex. Years into a relationship, your girlfriend or wife may not give you the same “Wow!” response that you had when you first began having sex with her.
So, what’s a modern man to do? Avoid porn altogether?
It depends.
If you have a sexy wife or girlfriend, it will be easy for you to want to be with her sexually. Additionally, if you have a great relationship that is based on true love and have also been deepening the respect, love and attraction that you feel for each other, then you will naturally enjoy coming together in sexual union.
It will feel good and fulfilling to have sex with each other. On the other hand, if you’ve accepted a woman that you’re not very attracted to or have developed the type of relationship dynamic that doesn’t naturally and automatically create built up sexual tension between you and your woman, then you won’t feel much (or any) desire to have sex with her.
It was a lot easier for guys in the past. Before the arrival of the Internet and the subsequent explosion of online porn, men were jerking off to “blue movies” (sex videos) and magazines that they would buy from retail stores.
Before that, all a guy really had were a few photos of scantily clad women showing a “bit of leg” or some cleavage. Prior to that, men would have probably had to close their eyes and imagine sexy women.
A man in the year 1900 for example, would have had the same desire and urge to masturbate as you do, but since you have such easy, instant access to amazing, boner-activating porn, you are in a more difficult position.
You have to consciously remind yourself to avoid porn, or else you run the risk of sapping the sexual energy from your relationship with your woman. It takes a conscious effort and if you really do want your relationship to succeed, you will do your best to ignore porn and give your sexual energy to your woman instead.
Times When it is Okay to Masturbate When in a Relationship
Generally speaking, you should avoid masturbating when in a relationship and instead use your sexual energy on your woman.
Personally speaking, if my girl and I don’t have sex for more than 3 days, there is a definite change in her behavior. She becomes more irritable and moody, but the morning after we’ve had sex, she is always so cheery, nice and loving.
I’m actually lucky to have a woman like that because it allows me to give my sexual energy to her a few times a week, rather than blowing it out into a tissue over internet porn. As a result, our relationship feels good and we really feel like a couple.
I’ll go on record and admit that I’ve watched porn a few times so far in our relationship when she has been on her period. There have been times when he didn’t have sex for 2-3 days before her period started and she then had a 6-7 day period, which left me with “aching balls” near the end of all that.
Clearing out the build up of sperm and sexual desire by masturbating didn’t ruin my attraction or desire for her though because I really am attracted to her and really do love her.
In addition to masturbating when your woman is on her period, there are also times when it is totally fine to masturbate when in a relationship, such as:
1. When she has a lower sex drive than you: Don’t confuse that with you not getting her in the mood, or not maintaining the right dynamic in your relationship that naturally creates sexual tension between you and your woman. T
here are some women who have a low sex drive, while other women tend to fluctuate based on their levels of happiness, stress and relationship satisfaction.
If your woman has a very low sex drive and only wants sex once a week or once a month, then, according to scientific research into prostate cancer, it will actually be healthy for you to clean out the built up sperm in your testicles.
So, don’t feel guilty about it.
However, if she has a normal sex drive and you rarely have sex with her, then you need to working on changing the dynamic of your relationship so that you are naturally creating a build up of sexual tension between you, that you both want to release very often.
2. When she is out of town: If she travels a lot for work or goes out of town without you, then it’s fine to masturbate and clean out the built up sperm in your testicles.
3. When she has the flu or isn’t feeling well: If she’s down and out with the flu or some other illness and can’t have sex for weeks at a time, there’s nothing wrong with masturbating to clean out the built up sperm in your testicles.
Can Excessive Masturbation Reduce a Man’s Drive to Succeed in Life?
Definitely.
Studies have shown that when a guy masturbates too often, his dopamine levels drop. Dopamine is the chemical in our brain that makes us crave and want things in life. With low levels of dopamine from excessive masturbation, a man won’t feel a strong urge to succeed or do much with his life.
As dopamine receptors get less and less sensitive, things that would usually make a guy feel happy and fulfilled, such as spending time hanging out with a friend, making plans for the future, achieving things in life, dating and having sex with a real woman, etc., begin to lose their appeal.
You probably know that already though, right?
You may have had days (or weekends) where you’ve done a fair bit of jerking off, only to realize that you suddenly felt very uninspired by the real world around you.
Feeling down, worn out and disconnected from the world around you, you may have then sat down on the couch and watched too much TV, intoxicated yourself with drink or drugs, played computer games or generally just hid yourself away from the real world.
I’m definitely not saying that we men can’t watch TV, drink, play computer games or have some alone time every now and then, but when a guy does that often as a result of excessive masturbation, it can lead to a lack of success in life.
If you want to be successful in life, one of the key ingredients is to keep pushing towards your dreams with unrelenting determination and belief in yourself.
Life isn’t always easy, so the men who remain the strongest for longest are usually the ones who succeed at whatever it is they are aiming to achieve.
You have to be stronger and more determined than others and if you can just go that extra mile, you will come out on top and be one of the successful people in this world.
Total success and happiness may remain out of your reach (or take way longer to achieve) if you are constantly jerking off to porn to calm your daily boner because you just won’t have much desire to work hard and get there.
Instead of regularly getting rid of your pent up sexual desire, I recommend that you try using it to succeed with what you want to in life. Use the built up dopamine to get yourself to take action in the direction of your goals, rather than dulling your desire with yet another useless session of masturbation.
Besides, having sex with real beautiful women is 100 times more exciting, fulfilling and amazing that jerking off to a video or photo gallery. Following the sex, the love and companionship is even more fulfilling.
What to Do if Masturbation is Preventing You From Getting a Girlfriend
If you have been using masturbation to dull your desire so you don’t have to approach and meet real women, try the following practical solutions:
1. Switch to Masturbation Monday: Instead of masturbating whenever you feel that your sexual desire is recharged and needs a release, try to save that for Monday. I’m calling it Masturbation Monday and it will hopefully give guys something easy to remember to get their habit under control.
Instead of blowing your built up sexual desire out into a tissue on any day you feel it, use your sexual energy to talk to real women and begin having sex with them. That way you can get yourself a girlfriend, rather than dulling your desire so you can hide away for yet another wasted week of your life.
How many weeks, months or years have you been doing it so far? You can’t get those years of your life back – they are gone.
2. Join meet up groups: The more people you know, the easier it is to meet women and be introduced to women. The easiest way to meet new people (and meet some women in the process) is to join meet up groups in your area.
The women at meet up groups are not always the hottest, but at least it’s an opportunity for you to be around real women and get yourself a girlfriend. From there, a guy is usually able to build new friendships, which then leads to parties and introductions to other women.
3. Build your way to a Fortnightly Fap: Once you are comfortable with Masturbation Monday, switch to a Fortnightly Fap.
If you have been talking to real women and getting dates, you should already be having real sex. However, if you’re just jerking off and still avoiding women, then you’re just jerking off. Don’t waste your life like that. Work your way towards sliding your dick into a real pussy – it’s a much more enjoyable, fulfilling and rewarding experience.
4. Get used to a Monthly Masturbation: When you are used to the Fortnightly Fap and have been hooking up with real women, try getting used to a Monthly Masturbation session.
You will have so much built up sexual desire throughout the month that attending a speed dating event, joining a meet up group or approaching real women will be something that you really WANT to do.
However, if you fap like there’s no tomorrow, you’re not going to very motivated to hook up with real women. Many more months and potentially years or decades of your life are going to waste away, with you feeling lonely and left out from having real experiences with real women.
5. Improve your skills with women: Learn how to approach and pick up women.
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Cheers for the article Dan. It is a topic I was waiting to read from you. In these modern times of the information age, billions of men and women have had the privilege of watching porn at the click of a button. The availability of the internet, which has helped everyone in the world progress in life, didn’t come without its disadvantages sadly. Today, men and women (mostly men in my opinion), given the stresses of life and their lack of success in the dating scene, have turned to porn as their only source of sexual gratification.
Out of experience, the results of watching and masturbating over porn time and time again has created what is commonly argued as porn addiction. Scientists have done loads of research into brain activity from test subjects suffering from compulsive porn addictions. They were shocked to see that parts of the brain commonly related to drug/alcohol/nicotine addictions have been activated when the test subject merely just sees a still image of some hot blonde chick in a short skirt. A sexual cocktail of hormones is secreted in the person’s body which is compelling him/her to act out on their urge as soon as possible, wherever the place, whenever the time. This happens to many affected individuals when porn/masturbation becomes the only form of sex they know in their life.
Any individual they find in the street to be attractive is not only attractive, but another “piece of meat” to add into an unrealistic porn fantasy in their mind and to jack off to. I’m not saying it’s always a bad thing, but it damn well turns into a dangerous habit. There’s too much more I can write in this article but have already gone well beyond. To anyone interested in knowing more, I recommend you watch a documentary on YouTube known as “Porn On The Brain – Channel 4 Documentary”. It gives accounts and scientific data into porn addiction, and how it is a much more serious issue and detrimental to your success with women than common society care to admit. Thanks for reading.
Hey Jared
Thanks for your contribution to the discussion.
I’ve just watched the documentary you suggested and have now added it to the end of the article. I initially thought that there wasn’t a lot of cause for alarm because only a small percentage of people have an addictive personality type. However, so far, the poll on this page is showing that 30% of guys masturbate every day and 13% do it multiple times a day. That’s pretty full on.
It will be interesting to see how the statistics look after a couple of weeks.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. For guys reading along who haven’t voted in the poll – please place your vote so we can all get a realistic perspective of what guys are experiencing.
Glad you learnt something from the documentary Dan. I know I did and am sure others here will too. The thing with porn addiction is that loads of guys do have it but don’t take it seriously. I have two friends of mine who openly admit to masturbating more than three times a day, one of them going as far as conversing with their attractive co-worker then heading straight to the toilet to masturbate during working hours. I personally see that as a problem, they see it as fun and exciting. Goes the same for smokers. Some realise they have an addiction problem and keep battling to get out of the habit, others see it as calm and reassuring even if they know they are addicted. It depends on how people take it I feel. But I think sooner or later, most guys will find just how badly excessive porn/masturbation has been affecting their lives and relationships with their partner and friends/family. Further to the documentary, if you’d like to read more about the science of the brain and how porn addictions occur, I strongly recommend you go to covenanteyes.com and downloading their free ebook “The Porn Circuit”. Great insight into how repetitive habits and NOT man’s natural sex drive have got us into this most underrated epidemic.
Hey Jared
Interesting to hear about your friends. I’m curious to know: Do those friends of yours have a girlfriend, or have trouble keeping a girlfriend? I’m wondering whether those guys simply have a very high sex drive and need to let off steam or if they have gotten into the habit of “getting their fix” in different ways based on their habitual porn usage. The guy in the documentary (above) seems to have gotten into the habit of getting the emotional high from porn, rather than just having a high sex drive.
It’s a new and strange topic, but overall, I think modern men just need to use their common sense on this one. If you’re addicted to anything (e.g. drink, gambling, etc) that is negatively affecting your life, you should always seek to attain a more balanced approach. Of course, that is easier said than done for guys who have an addictive personality type.
At the time of making this comment, the statistics from the poll on this page are:
How often do you masturbate?
– A few times a week: 37%
– Every day: 31%
– Multiple times per day: 16%
– Once a week: 11%
– Once a month: 5%
Total votes: 158
So, it seems that 47% of guys are at it every day. That’s a pretty big number. In the USA for example, only 8% of the population is addicted to alcohol and 0.6% are addicted to gambling.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
In answer to your question below (couldn’t find reply button on your last comment lol), my mate who jerked one off at work is single as has been for a long long time, but even then he had pretty bad masturbation habits when in a relationship so this suggests to me that he got into his habits during early teenage years and wouldn’t find it easy to quit even if with a spouse. My other mate has actually been with his girlfriend now for over two years but admits to continuously masturbating 4x as much as he gets sex. His girlfriend is a pretty conservative chick when it comes to sex according to him so I guess he has a huge desire to masturbate especially when they go to second base. He has also admitted he has been watching porn since being 12. He doesn’t really enjoy talking about this much so I don’t knwo how much masturbation affects him over his real sex life, if it affects him at all. In my opinion, both my friends’s situations are rather concerning and I’ve told them so but they seem ok with the way they handle their business.
Jared.
Hey Jared
Thanks for explaining.
I guess the answer probably is that as long as a guy can still be successful at picking up women and keeping a relationship together, then it really doesn’t matter.
Will have to ponder it more over the next few months…
Cheers
Dan
That is a great piece, mate. I should have read it many moons ago and gone easy with the porn/wanking routine.
Hey Walt
Thanks for the positive feedback. I’m glad it was helpful for you.
Cheers
Dan
I’ve been looking into this whole masturbation and porn thing and really feel that there’s some truth in it’s harmful effects. Imagine just 100 years ago the average man did not have access to see a naked woman except maybe his wife. Fast forward to today and the average man today has probably seen more naked women and has the ability to see more naked women then probably all of his previous ancestors combined! How many times a week do you think the average man would be able to have sex with the same woman before getting bored? He would most likely get an urge, release that sexual tension by having with his wife, and then go about his business until the next time he gets the urge. Today, however, we have at our fingertips the ability to search for exactly what turns us on and can see different woman/women one after the other until we exhaust ourselves. There’s a famous experiment where they get a bull and give it a female cow to have sex with and this bull was able to become aroused and have sex with that same cow a maximum of 3 times before losing interest. As soon as they brought in a new cow the bull was again ready for action, and again after 3 sexual encounters he bull became bored again. This same sequence happened many many times. I believe the same works for humans and so our ancestors simply were not able to go to excess in the past, it was physically impossible (with the same woman of course!).
Anyway, it’s interesting to note that the kidneys deal with all fluids in the body, including sexual fluids, and so when we masturbate to excess we are overworking our kidneys and they become depleted of vitality. The kidneys are also linked to the feeling of fear and anxiety. Men who over masturbate often complain about feeling very on edge, and anxious, and fearful.
Dr. David Horrobin, an M.D. and Ph.D. from Oxford University, states:
“The amount of zinc in semen is such that one ejaculation may get rid of all the zinc that can be absorbed from the intestines in one day. This has a number of consequences. Unless the amount lost is replaced by an increased dietary intake, repeated ejaculation may lead to a real zinc deficiency with various problems developing, including impotence.”
More than 60 percent of men have a zinc deficiency. And that spells trouble… Your semen has 100 times more zinc than your blood – and your prostate has the highest concentration of zinc in your body. Zinc is a real “man’s mineral.” Zinc is a sexual health booster that helps reduce the enzymes that convert your valuable testosterone into DHT (an excess of which causes premature baldness and hair loss). A healthy level of zinc:
> Maximizes your testosterone production.
> Extends the life of testosterone in your bloodstream.
> Boosts the sensitivity of your male hormone receptors – especially your testosterone receptors.
A supplement that can address certain symptoms commonly associated with low testosterone is saw palmetto, which may also help increase testosterone levels by inhibiting up-conversion to dihydrotestosterone (DHT). When choosing a saw palmetto supplement, be wary of brand as some use an inactive form of the plant. Look for an organic supercritical CO2 extract of saw palmetto oil, which is dark green in colour. Since saw palmetto is a fat-soluble supplement, taking it with eggs will enhance the absorption of its nutrients. There is also solid research indicating that if you take astaxanthin in combination with saw palmetto, you may experience significant synergistic benefits. An optimal dose of saw palmetto and astaxanthin decreases both DHT and estrogen while simultaneously increasing testosterone.
Anyway I hope the above is useful in helping to convince guys to stay away from over masturbation.
Hey John
Thanks for your contribution to the discussion.
You raise an interesting point about a man 100 years ago not having access to see many (or any) naked women other than his wife. Add to that, the fact that most people lost their virginity on their wedding night. It’s a completely different world these days.
Cheers
Dan
Hi,
Lol, I was thinking just the other day if I should send any information on this subject or wondered if you knew about it and planned to blog and comment one day.
I am in fact a recovering porn addict of 17 years and decided this year to end my habit for good.
I tell you it is a hard habit to break in the beginning but through will power, no thinking or fantasying and setting up adult internet filters.
I have been successful in getting through the worst but I may need months to recover and hopefully be normally attracted to women again and no need for porn again.
Think it explains why I didn’t have any desire to be social meet new friends or even to meet real women but then I didn’t even know about your Modern Man technics I needed to know about women either til 2 half years
Dan check out this site as it’s what got me to realise and finally stop this habit.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/
Cheers.
Hey Steve
Thanks for your contribution to the discussion.
I wouldn’t blame all of your desire not to be social on your prior porn addiction. Anti-social feelings stem from a guy’s mindsets about people, socializing and himself. I recommend you watch this video: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/dating-advice-for-introverted-guys.html Let me know what you think of it.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
Yes I watched the video, very informative and I didn’t even know that I am introverted or what it is til I find out last year.
I would say personally that I think it’s 50/50 type situation, But growing up with this addiction hasn’t helped etc staying in to watch women and sex on a screen instead of going out to meet real women.
It’s a new issue that’s only just being talked about now from the research I’ve read and watched and that website I left you should provide answers if you want to look more into it later on.
Cheers.
Cool.
I’m not sure how much I want to write about it yet. My main focus is getting guys to talk to real women by building their confidence and giving them the skills to do so. The porn addiction website seems to be doing a good job and getting into all the details about that topic.
Case in point: I’m working on a new post today about why nice guys have such a hard time succeeding with women. Stay tuned.
Cheers
Dan
Hi, Dan all I would like to state is that masturbation is a shitty behaviour. If I can think back in all the cases I have masturbated it has led to the experience of anxiety, a drop in confidence, laziness, anti-social behaviour, lack of drive, you hide away from the world, what I’m really saying is that I don’t think it’s helpful at all apart from the high that you get for a few minutes before ejaculation. I believe it would be better to avoid it at all costs since approaching real women (i.e with the right knowledge) is much more fulfilling.
Hey Joseph
Thanks for adding your opinion.
I don’t think that porn is something that needs to be avoided at all costs, because that would be like saying that no-one should ever play poker or try alcohol or drugs. As long as things are done in moderation, people usually don’t experience major problems. It’s when a guy goes overboard and gambles too much, gets high or drunk everyday or excessively jerks off to porn that problems start to occur.
That said, it’s great to hear that you’re putting a focus on meeting real women. As you probably know, sliding your dick into a beautiful woman’s pussy is 100x better than porn. Having sex with average or below-average women is okay, but hot women are worth all the effort of becoming confident and being great at conversation, flirting, etc. I still get a kick out of banging my girlfriend – I still find her sexy every time and I’m very grateful for that. I remember a time where I could only ever get lucky with unattractive women…what a horrible experience that was…
Cheers
Dan
Ironically I find it better to masturbate when mentally thinking about women that I like than watching porn.. wonder how many men prefer those than porn??
Hey John
That’s interesting. So, are you saying that porn doesn’t do much for you? Is it because you’ve used porn for a long time and are now bored of it?
Cheers
Dan
P.S. If you’re reading along to the comments and can relate to John, please post a comment.
If I may add to this bit of the forum, you and me are pretty alike in that scenario John. I also fantasize about girls I’ve met (sometimes celebrities) or, confessedly, girls I haven’t met but know exist from Facebook. I rarely watch porn, but I repeatedly look for a still image of a girl I fancy and create a fantasy in my head from porn scenes I’ve accidentally come across from a young age and have kept me scarred with. I only seek out porn videos when I’m just feeling bored and unexcited from the old scenes already in my head. Pretty serious stuff and to be perfectly honest, I’ve never confessed this to anyone. Very few do.
Jared
Hey Jared
That’s an interesting one. Good on you for being so honest. I’m sure a lot of guys will benefit from reading your comment.
I don’t think there is anything “wrong” with what you’re doing. I think the most important things are:
1. Are you actually approaching real women?
2. Are you having sex with real women?
If not, then you should put more of your energies into that, but I don’t think you should ever feel guilty about doing whatever you do in your private life. There are no rules about that here on planet Earth. Humans have just been making up the rules as they’ve been going along, regularly changing them based on cultural or religious beliefs of the time.
For example: In ancient Greece, Egypt and India masturbation was widely practiced and accepted. However, with the rise of the West, people began to label it as a “heinous sin” or “self-pollution.”
As long as you are achieving the goals that you’ve set yourself with women, there’s no problem at all in my opinion. However, if you’re doing it to dull your sexual desire a few times a week so you don’t have to face your fears and achieve the goals you’ve set regarding women, then it might be time to make a change.
Cheers
Dan
simply wow!!
Thanks Dan for the info you gave I should less on the porn/wanking I should go out more often
Mate it’s great to see you do such a balanced article on this topic.
Having a search on the net and you’ll find a lot of “masturbation is good for you” (interestingly this is usually targeted to women!)
I’ve found some good controversial reads on “NoFap” websites and reddit. Now some of those people do take it to the extreme (not masturbating for months or years and another guy even CLOSED down his porn site)
Anyway, I think porn overall is a bad thing if it leads to a man not approaching and having sex with women (the general answer is yes porn has a direct effect here). Not having an internet connection at home is somewhat of a blessing for me! Though I do find other ways to ‘waste’ time with games, movies and books though.
By the way, personally I get horny as without sexual release 5-7 days but can go about two weeks before having a wank.
Now I’m going to have a crack trying to see how long I can last without wanking and only having sex. Just wanted to share that on this public space haha
Hey Andy
Cheers, I am glad the article has been able to help you in some way.
See if you can replace the fapping with tapping. Tapping real women is so much more fulfilling, especially if the reason you aren’t tapping is because you’re afraid to approach. When a guy overcomes his fear of approaching women and is able to pick up women at will, it completely changes his life. He not only begins to have his choice with women, but he will usually get promoted at work, make more friends and experience improved relationship with friends and family.
Cheers
Dan
Awesome article, Dan.
Starting with the Masturbation Monday thing today!
Hey EV
Good to hear mate.
I hope it helps you get more done with real women and with your goals in life!
Cheers
Dan
Good article Dan. I must say I have read many articles on pornography but you have by far articulated it the best. Keeping it simple to understand. I feel more motivated to give up masturbation and get back out there in the dating scene actually experience sex with a real woman.
Hey Djen
Thanks – I’m glad the article made simple sense.
Fingers crossed for you that you follow through and make something happen with a real woman soon.
Cheers
Dan
Typically I’d belt off minimum once a day. I’ve shot off in many locations, only to meet some of this planet’s most stunning women afterwards, and predictably have no energy left to pursue them beyond regular niceties. My voice is even deeper when I ease off the whacking off.
Hey Jason
Thanks for your contribution to the discussion.
Just remember: Try to use your sexual energy as motivation to get things done (i.e. follow through on phone numbers you get, get a woman into a relationship, get promoted at work, exercise, etc), rather than wasting most or all of your sexual energy on masturbation.
There’s nothing wrong with the occasional jack off, but if you over-jack, the progress of your life will usually slow down. The next thing you know, all your friends are in relationships or married and you’re still the single guy, or you just can’t be bothered following up on the phone numbers that you get from women because jacking off seems easier.
Here’s to hoping you can reduce it a bit and get on a path that will lead you to be with some of those stunners you’ve been meeting…
Cheers
Dan