In today’s world, texting is the best way to make contact with a woman when you get her phone number.
It’s easy, she enjoys doing it and you can quickly make her feel attracted and then arrange to meet up again the next day, or within the next few days.
If you matched with her on a dating app, then all you need to do is quickly make her feel a spark of attraction based on how you’re texting, connect a little if and where necessary and then arrange a meetup.
When a woman matches with you on an app, she has already said, “Yes, I would date him” in her mind.
So, you don’t need to spend a long time trying to get to know her via text.
You simply need to attract her and arrange a meetup in most cases, or attract her, connect a little and then arrange a meetup.
So, make sure that you don’t waste time hiding behind the safety and comfort of texts and not following through to arrange a meetup.
If you just keep texting, a woman can easily lose interest and decide to text and then meet up with another guy who has the confidence to arrange to see her in person.
What to Text a Woman After Getting Her Number in Person
After getting a woman’s number for the first time in person (e.g. at a bar, party, during the day, etc) you can send her any one of these types of texts:
- Hey Michelle – Dan here. Great to meet you. Will be in touch
- Hey Michelle 😉 Dan here. Talk to you soon
Sending her a text like that ensures that she has your number and knows that you are interested.
If you were successful in making her feel a lot of attraction for you in person, it’s important she also knows that you are interested in her and aren’t just getting her number for the fun of it.
Many guys get phone numbers from women and never follow up, or arrange a date.
As a result, a lot of women feel like a guy isn’t a real dating option until she has actually met up with him for a first date, kissed him or had sex with him.
So, texting her is great and it’s a necessary part of dating these days, but you are only dating for real when you’ve had sex with her, or at least kissed her.
You essentially have an opportunity with her and will lose your opportunity if you text in an unattractive way (e.g. insecure, too nice, too neutral and not creating a spark between you and her, complimenting too much, seeming needy for a date), or if you take too long to arrange a meetup when texting her.
What to Text Next
After sending the initial text, use her reply to make her feel more attracted to you.
Don’t just text to connect and have a chat about nothing in particular.
When texting a woman, you should always focus on attracting her and then arranging a meetup because the text you send could be the last she ever replies to.
Make the follow up texts attractive and appealing, so she feels motivated and compelled to reply.
How can you do that?
One of the many ways to attract women via text is to use humor.
For example: On the night you met her, she was wearing a red dress and was looking sexy.
During the conversation, you jokingly referred to her as the “lady in red.”
You could then trigger her feelings of attraction by using a bit of humor when you text her:
- The lady in red 😉 You looked amazing in that dress last night. I looked amazing too, but you looked better 😄 How are you today?
She will have a little laugh and feel attracted to the fact that you’re not only being confident and funny, but you’re also giving her a compliment.
All of that combined adds up to her seeing you as a charming guy.
You could also just keep it simple and say:
- Hey…the lady in red. How are you today?😄
Using an emoji in the text makes her see you as being more easygoing and approachable.
Many women are insecure, suffer from anxiety and worry about replying and seeming too keen with a guy who may not be that interested.
So, adding in an emoji helps to relax the woman and see that you are being approachable and are comfortable showing some easygoing interest and therefore, it will be fine for her to reply right away.
What you said in the text will cause her to have a little laugh and remember that she felt good talking to you in person, when you referred to her as the lady in red.
In a situation like that, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time texting back and forth.
After her initial reply, make her feel attracted a little more and then suggest catching up in person again.
- Anyway Michelle…we should catch up for a coffee or drink sometime this week. Sound good?
When she says yes, you then arrange the meetup on a specific day.
There are 100s of examples of how to do that in my program, Text Attraction.
Texting Mistakes to Avoid
After doing all the hard work to get a woman’s phone number, some guys screw up their chances with her by making one or all of the following mistakes:
1. Over-texting
There’s nothing with texting a woman, but if you text her too much and don’t ever arrange a meetup, she can easily lose interest in you.
These days, most women are ready to say yes to a meetup request within 5-10 texts back and forth, if they have given their number out in person, or matched with a guy on a dating app.
She doesn’t need to have a long, in-depth discussion with you, or to spend hours getting to know you via text.
She gave you her number, or matched with you on a dating app because she is willing to meet up with you 1-on-1 and see how things go.
So, when you match with her, or get her number, you essentially have an opportunity with her.
If you just keep texting, most women will become annoyed at how difficult and time-consuming it is to actually get anywhere with you.
Eventually, she will stop replying.
A guy might then send a needy text like:
- Why won’t you answer me?
- I haven’t heard back from you in a week. Are you bored of me already?
- i miss you…do you miss me?
- Why don’t you text more often? Did I say something wrong?? Do you still like me?
If he does that, she will lose even more interest in him.
2. Texting just to text
Some guys get too excited when they get a woman’s number and end up texting her things that aren’t necessary.
For example: He texts her every day to say good morning, texts her to tell her that he’s on his way to work, texts her when he’s stuck in a traffic jam (e.g. “OMG…traffic jam. Going to be late for work! 😬“) and texts her to tell her what he just ate for lunch.
The thing is, he has good intentions (i.e. he wants to show that he’s interested), but his approach isn’t what a woman actually wants.
A woman wants to get a chance to miss you and feel excited when you text.
She also wants to feel sparks of attraction when you text her.
She doesn’t want you texting just to text for the sake of it, or to be cute and get all giddy and excited on your own.
She wants to see a text notification from you and think, “Wow. What did he send?” and then read it, feel attracted and feel compelled to reply.
100s of examples of how to do that are included in Text Attraction.
When she replies, she then wants you to arrange a meetup, so you can her can then have sex and start a relationship.
When you do begin having sex, she doesn’t want you texting just for the sake of texting.
She wants to feel the urge to text you and feel attracted by your reply and then arrange to meetup again.
When you create that dynamic, she remains excited, interested and the relationship continues on.
Yet, if a guy texts her all the time just for the sake of texting, she eventually becomes bored of getting texts from him and sometimes, even feels annoyed by it.
At that point, she may stop replying to most of his texts, which can then lead him to worry, panic and ask if everything is okay, which will turn her off even more.
3. Taking too long to contact her after getting her number
Some guys assume they need to ‘play it cool’ and not text a woman for days after getting her number, or hours after matching her on a dating app.
Yet, today’s dating scene is very fast-paced and women know it.
Women know that guys who understand how it works contact them right away and then get them out on a date within 5-10 text messages.
So, when a woman gives her number out in person and a guy takes many days or weeks to contact her, she can either worry that he’s not interested enough (e.g. will just want to sleep with her once, or will waste her time), or she will assume he’s trying to play it cool and not seem too keen.
Either way, she’s usually not going to like it.
Personally speaking, I used to make this mistake back when I was going out every week to pick up new women in person.
I’d get a few numbers during the night and then be worried about getting rejected if I texted or called.
I’d be thinking, “Maybe I didn’t attract her enough” or, “Maybe she didn’t even like me much and just gave me her number to get me to leave her alone” or “Maybe…”
I would come up with reasons not to text or call and then think, “I’ll go get some more numbers next weekend, attract the women better and then get in touch with her.”
Yet, it just kept happening week after week.
Eventually, I got to the point where I said to myself, “If she gave you her number, then she felt attracted to you and is open to meeting up with you and potentially having sex with you. So text her or call her.”
To my surprise, when I started following through on numbers, I started getting laid every week and soon had a few women on the go at once.
BTW: If you want to learn what I said and did in person to pick up those women, check out The Flow.
Now, back to the text message examples…
If you get a girl’s number, don’t sit around worrying about whether or not she likes you enough.
Additionally, don’t play games with her and think that if you just wait another day or so, it will make you seem cooler, or less desperate or whatever.
Just text her.
- Hey Michelle. How’d you pull up from last night? Big hangover, or? 😅
- Hey Michelle. Eating lunch on my break at work. Thought I’d say hi. How are you? 😄
- Hey Michelle. Something you said the other night just came to mind and I laughed 😄 How are you?
When she replies, attract her further and then arrange a meetup.
You are not desperate, or too keen or whatever else for texting a woman and arranging a date.
That’s what she wants you to do.
Women are impressed by men who aren’t afraid to go after what they want.
So, don’t hesitate.
Text her, make her feel attracted and then arrange a date.
4. Copying her girly texting style
Some guys make the mistake of thinking that if they text in a girly way like women do, women will feel more comfortable, enjoy texting them and then want to be with them sexually and romantically.
Women (usually very young women) will often text things like:
wat u doin?
OMG…like totally
🤗 that’s sooo cute 🥰
i miss u 🥺
Just because girls text that way, it doesn’t mean that you should too.
If you want to be attractive to women, you should always focus on being more mature and masculine, rather than childish or feminine.
Women are attracted to our masculinity, so you should always display masculinity when texting women.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t use an emoji.
Emojis are necessary for modern texting and they also make things easier and faster because you don’t have to explain your emotions.
You simply just add an emoji in and the person reading it can instantly get a sense of how you’re feeling 😄 👍
5. Being too cute
It’s okay to send cute messages if you’re a very masculine guy and are just doing that to add a bit of sweetness in at times, or to joke around with her by pretending to be cute for a laugh.
However, if you’re a fairly normal, neutral type of guy in terms of masculinity, being very cute with a woman via text will turn her off because it will seem like she is texting with a woman, rather than a masculine man.
Additionally, she can imagine what your facial expression and thought process might have been when you sent her the cute texts and if she images you looking cute like a girl, she isn’t going to feel attracted.
Instead, she will begin to lose attraction because you lack the all important masculinity that women seek in men.
Here are some cute text messages as an example:
- Do you have a plaster? Why? cause i cut myself fallin 4 u! 🤭 🥰
If a guy sends that to a girl as a joke (and she knows that he’s joking), then it will be funny, but if he’s serious, she will be turned off.
Of course, if she’s very young and inexperienced and really likes the guy, then she will usually be okay with it.
Yet, all other women will think that it’s a little too cute and will worry that he might be a feminine, cutesy kind of boyfriend who ends up being insecure, needy and annoying in a relationship.
- My cheeks hurt. I need to stop smiling so much, but I can’t stop. This is all your fault, hee hee 🤭 🥰
Women just don’t want that from a man.
A woman wants to experience your masculinity.
That is what turns her on.
There’s nothing wrong with sending her a loving text, or being charming by text, but if a guy is too cute, then it sends the wrong signals to a woman (e.g. he might be the sort of guy who is picked on by other men because he lacks manliness, he might become too girly and annoying in a relationship, he might not able to make her feel protected when out in public, he might become obsessed with her and focus way too much on her in a relationship).
Whenever you text a woman, you must understand that it could be the last text she ever replies to from you.
So, always make the text attractive, so she is feeling attracted and therefore, feels motivated and compelled to reply.
Then, after 5-10 messages back and forth, make sure you arrange a meetup.
If she is texting you back, then she is interested in meeting up to kiss, have sex or start a relationship.
So, just follow through and enjoy the fun times ahead!
