If you have a crush on a female co-worker or are in love with a female friend of yours, how can you turn her into your girlfriend?
Simple.
You’ve got to say and do the sorts of things that are going to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction. Then, when she feels enough attraction for you (this can take minutes, hours or days depending on the existing dynamic between you and her), you need to take things to the next level.
If you work with her, that means arranging for a time to meet up outside of the workplace (e.g. go for drinks after work). If you are friends with a woman, you need to arrange for her to come over to your place for dinner and drinks, or do that at her place.
Either way, you have to be the courageous one out of the two of you and take a risk to take things to the next level.
How Can You Know if She Really Likes You?
If a woman feels attracted to you, then she will like you.
It’s as simple as that.
All women show their signals of interest in slightly different ways, so don’t expect her to display signs such as: Licking her lips, touching her hair, touching your thigh, etc. Her signals of interest will depend on how much you’ve attracted her so far and what type of woman she is.
For example: If she’s a shy girl who isn’t sure whether or not you find her sexy, she may be worried about showing obvious signs of interest. She will act like she just wants to be friends, but she will always try to spend time with you.
If she is a confident, beautiful woman who knows that you like her, she might test your confidence by playing hard to get. As you may know, women are extremely attracted to a guy’s confidence, so if you suddenly become insecure and begin doubting yourself around her when she plays hard to get, she will rapidly lose interest in you.
The best approach to use with all women is to make them feel attracted to you and then just take a risk to move things forward. If you’ve made her feel enough attraction for you, a woman will rarely, if ever, reject your attempts to arrange a date, move in for a kiss or take her home for sex.
Does Going to Lunch Together Means She Likes You in a Sexual Way?
It depends.
If your coworker (or female friend) only sees you as a nice, friendly guy, then going to lunch with you is just lunch. It’s not a date, it’s not a signal of sexual interest and it’s nothing that you should spend a lot of time thinking about.
If you do go to lunch with her, you need to make sure that you say and do the sorts of things that are going to make her feel attracted to you. For example: If you’re eating lunch and she gets a bit of food stuck on the side of her mouth, you can use that as an opportunity to make her feel attracted to you.
How?
Pause, smile and point to the side of her mouth and casually say, “You have some food stuck on the side of your mouth.” She will then quickly try to clean it off. When she does that, point to her chin and say, “There’s some on your chin too.”
When she wipes her chin, say, “…and there’s some on the side of your cheek” and point to her cheek.
By that point, she is either going to be smiling or laughing. When you see that, have a laugh too and tell her that you were only joking.
How does this make her feel attracted? She feels attracted to your confidence, ability to make her laugh and ability to make her feel girly in your presence. Those are 3 ways that you make a woman feel attracted.
At The Modern Man, I teach guys how to make women feel attracted to them in more than 100 different ways. If you are interested in learning more, click around and I’ll continue teaching you right now.
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
thanks Dan you are the best 😀
Hi Jonathan
Thanks for the vote of appreciation.
Cheers
Dan
dan so i got a question ah theres this girl i like she has a boyfreind though but were always arguing at it like a couple and acting sexual im always with her btw ….what should i do mate?might she has feelings for me right?
Hey McJacker
Thanks for your question.
If she isn’t happy with her boyfriend and has a lot of attraction and respect for you as a man, then yes – she will likely break up with him to be with you. My programs will teach you how to be that attractive to women, but I don’t advise on ways to steal women or get women to cheat on their boyfriends. I’m trying to add love to the world, not cause pain for others.
I can give you the power to make women fall madly in love with you. However, how you use that power is up to you.
Cheers
Dan
Good to have a new video of your advice on here Dan. Enjoyed every minute.
You mentioned at the last bit how one could escalate to marriage before sex if so desired by the man. Is that actually possible? Would a girl be willing to wait? Sounds quite risky in keeping a girlfriend happy and interested if the guy doesn’t escalate to sex.
Thanks.
Hey Jared
Thanks mate.
About your question: Not risky at all. Simply meet women who want that. Women who want to have lots of sex before marriage or who don’t want marriage are obviously not the right type of woman for a guy who wants to wait until he is married before having sex.
Cheers
Dan
The flow is the best book available anywhere on the internet. I hate spending money but this book was brilliant. I use it as the basis or skeleton for all other material on this topic. It not only has helped me with women but my general confidence in life. Also it is so straightforward to read.
Hey Oliver
Thanks for your positive feedback mate.
I’m glad The Flow has helped you with women and with life. In terms of spending money to learn the powerful, life-changing secrets you now know: Imagine how much money you would have wasted buying clothes, expensive dinner dates, colognes, a car, gadgets, etc, etc trying to impress women! Now you know how to pick up women without having to waste money trying to “look good” because you know that women are more impressed by the attractive personality traits that I teach in the book.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
I can confirm the same things as Oliver! I was reluctant to spend money on any of your products since they are really expensive and I wasn’t sure if they were BS or not, so I bought The Flow since it was cheap and contained a lot of information. Only about 20 pages into it I knew it was worth the money. Since then I’ve bought a few of your other more expensive products and they’re worth the money.
Hey Brandon
Thanks for saying that mate. Much appreciated.
We often get customers e-mailing us and saying that would have paid DOUBLE the price if they knew how valuable the programs where beforehand. However, you can only truly know the value of what we teach when you access the programs. I do my best to explain to new guys who visit the site why they should invest in our programs, but it’s only the guys like you who take a chance and invest in themselves who find out the true power that comes from using our techniques.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
ah thanks dan for answeinf my question mate i got to more is peacocking a good method secound ah if a female gender cocks blocks u when u flirt in front of her is that a potienal liking cuz with all the girls ive slept with this is a first?
Hey McJacker
Here’s the thing…
You’re pretty much the ONLY guy who is using a screenname instead of your real first name when making comments on the site – be real. You’re also the only guy who is talking about lame, outdated, pick up artist ideas (that don’t work), such as “peacocking.” Did you know? The male peacock is the one who makes himself all pretty to be chosen by the woman? Yet, you are NOT a little birdie. You are a human. The human mating dance does not involve making yourself all pretty in the hope of being chosen by a woman. You need to become CONFIDENT and strong (mentally and emotionally) to be impressive to women. It’s not about being pretty, it’s about being confident.
I’m happy to help out, but if you want me to reply to any more of your comments, leave the lame, pick up artist stuff at the door. Around here, we are confident guys who are successful with women and we teach other guys how to enjoy the same success.
Also, write properly. The writing style you are using is not “cool” and it is not impressive to women. Read: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/articles/terrible-texts-that-turn-women-off.html
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Okay so lets say a curtain woman was too try to attract you, but you don’t get the hint what she’s doing what else what she try to do, to make you get the hint?
Hi Jonathan
The answer to this question is already in the video. It doesn’t matter what she does, what matter is… [fill in the blank].
Cheers
Dan
Oh okay, I guess I didnt catch that in the video thanks mate! 😀
Hey Jonathan
No probs mate.
Cheers
Dan
Hi dan. I have been following your teaching’s right from nigeria and i must confess they are really great and superb. Plz dan i need ur help here. There’s diz girl who is my neighbour that i really like and i feel lyk she lyk’s me too. We have really gone far but i have not told that i love her or take her out on a date bcoz i feel that she wil give me the i have a boyfriend stuff. The thing is that whenever we are alone in the room and i want to get romantic with her she just repel and act so innocent yet she still tries to be in private with me . Am just confused here plz help me out. Tnx
Hey Uche
Thanks for your question.
The answer is already in the video my friend! It doesn’t matter what she does. What matters is…[watch the video to fill in the blank]. If you don’t know how to escalate from a conversation to kissing, sex and a relationship, you will need to read The Flow.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan
Firstly, I want to say that I have purchased both the dating power and better than a bad boy programs and they have been nothing short of revolutionary. I can now clearly see now what I have to do and as you say ‘having the right information’ makes such a big difference. Nobody teaches you this stuff and yet it’s so important!I am now beginning to put into practice all of this stuff and looking forward to the journey.
I wanted to ask you about one situation. Recently I was at café with a friend of mine. I noticed that one of the girls working there was checking me out. I smiled at her and she smiled back and there continued this kind of flirtation for the next few minutes. The café was busy and the friend of mine wanted to go so it all ended pretty quickly. As I was leaving she was talking about it with one of her co-workers and it was obvious that she had enjoyed it as we said goodbye Anyway, I decided to go back the following week to get her phone number. The problem is the place is busy and there are lot of people working there so it’s hard to find the moment. I decided to check it out and ordered something. We then noticed each other and there was a small acknowledgement but I realised that she appeared to be a little uncomfortable so I decided to move on without starting the interaction. I suddenly doubted that she had been interested at all but I also felt like it just didn’t seem like the right time. The question I have is should I still have pursued it or considering the circumstances (busy and co-workers around)was it the right thing to do? On reflection, I wonder if I should have just approached her the first time round. I’d appreciate any comments you have.
Many thanks,
Tom
Hey Tom
Thanks for your positive feedback about the programs.
About your question: The reason she looked “uncomfortable” is that she was probably NERVOUS. A lot of guys don’t realize that women get nervous and anxious in those situations and doubt themselves. She liked you because you most-likely came across as confident, cool and interesting the first time she met you. So, if she is the same as MOST women you will meet out there, she would have actually been doubt herself around you. Women often think, “Well, if he’s that confident and cool, he’d have heaps of women interested in him and probably already have a girlfriend.”
You have to start getting used to having the “dating power” from now on. You are now in charge. You now choose the women you want. However, if you don’t use the Confidence Building System we teach in Dating Power and instead let your insecurities ruin your confidence (like you did when you went back), you will NOT have your choice of women. Make sure you follow our advice completely. It will lead you to natural, consistent and easy success.
I remember getting the point where I had to be extra NICE to women to ensure they weren’t too nervous around me. When you make a woman feel so much attraction, she often falls apart and begins thinking anxiously, insecurely, etc. It’s like taking candy from a baby when you get to that level. Women just make it SO EASY to pick them up. You’ll see when you get to the point where you actually LAUGH at how easy it is. I still feel amazed by it after all these years. It’s a nice power to have over women.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
Thanks for your response. What you have said regarding that it was probably her that was nervous has really struck a chord with me. Having realised that it has made my interactions with woman over the last few days much more relaxed. When I think about the first time I was there I now realise there was no reason at all to doubt that she was interested when I went back the second time, it was obvious that she was attracted to me! She probably wished I had done something about it. I can see how having the ‘dating power’ frame of mind can be so powerful and puts you in the position of control. Oh well I guess that was a good lesson for next time.
Thanks again,
Tom
Hey Tom
You’re welcome mate.
That’s the kind of power we offer here at The Modern Man. The more you learn, the more powerful and confident you become. It’s a completely different way of looking at the world, which results in a completely different life. Embrace the power you have as a man. Women are not the ones who run the show in the dating world.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I have been wondering how to deal with a certain problem. I went on a couple dates with a girl 2 weeks ago and ever since then it’s been down hill. We don’t talk as much and the vibe isn’t the same… I have to go to her place in the next couple days to pick up some laundry I left there and didn’t know how to go about asking if she wanted to continue seeing me.
p.s. we are both leaving school in 5 days and live 25 minutes from each other at home.
Hey Pat
Thanks for your question.
Basically, it sounds like you haven’t even kissed her or had sex. Don’t discuss having a relationship before either of those. If you are unsure about how to escalate to kissing and sex, watch Dating Power: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
Cheers
Dan
Hello Dan!
i know i havnt posted or commented in a while but thanks to you and this program I was very successful! I appreciate the help Dan and hopefully more men/guys come to this program because thanksto this program I finally got a girlfriend that I can handle so I am very happy so Thank t
You Dan you were plenty of help
Cheers,
Jonathan
Hey Jonathan
Great to hear about your success with getting a girlfriend.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan first off I truly am impressed by your products. At first glance I just thought they were a bunch of BS like a bunch of other stuff I’ve read…until I got The Flow and realized that all the little quips my dad has told me over the years or the ways I’ve seen successful friends act over the years actually did work and they had been using it all along! The deciding factor was when my ex-girlfriend (who coincidentally directed me here by sharing your texting article on a social network, still don’t know if that was intention or not) and another female friend confirmed a lot of the stuff you were talking about. I’ve proceeded to buy Coaching Call Break Throughs, The Ultimate Guide to Conversation and recently Dating Power..and I’m not going to stop there! Alpha Male Power or Better than a Bad Boy are probably next.
I was wondering if you could give me some insight into my situation: I’m attracted to a woman I work with who is like 2-3 years older than me; I didn’t talk to her much for the first 3 months or so that I worked here because one of the first people I met here (a guy, originally from my city) was always with her (walking in and out together, getting coffee together, eating lunch together) and I didn’t want to intrude. I found out that he’s actually married with 2 kids and they’re just really good friends. After that I started talking to her more often (the occasional “hi”, nothing too much because I was with my girlfriend at time) and only about 1.5 months ago (after my girlfriend dumped me) did I start having actual small conversations with her (about 3-10 minutes). They seemed to flow pretty easily, with neither of us being awkward or nervous.
I would stand in front of her cubicle facing her, displaying open body language and making direct eye contact and a small smile. We’d joke about some things and do some mild (verbal) flirting and she would giggle and give me big smiles at some of the things I would say, while facing me [twisting at the hips, not fully body movement] and returning eye contact while talking to me, occasionally turning back to her PC for about 30-60 seconds to do some work, then face me again. After a few times of that I decided to ask her out for drinks after work since I figured she was “open” (and maybe slightly “interested”), to not make things awkward for her and to be discrete I sent her an email saying “let go out for drinks after work at Fridays” and she responded “Sure! But I can’t tonight I’m working late, would next week be ok? I’m free any night other than Thursday because I work late” (This was a Thursday) so I responded “I’m busy Monday, lets do Tuesday” and he response was “I’ll get back to you on that”. Monday comes and I end up walking in with her and she seems like she’s a little nervous/awkward/closed because the conversation wasn’t going too smoothly “What did you do this weekend?” “nothing much, just stayed home and went shopping.” “Of course you did! What did you buy me?” *little giggle* and then I asked her “Are we still on for tomorrow?” which I realized was probably a mistake to ASK and I still got the same response of “I’ll have to see.” then when we got to the stairwell she said “I have to hurry up” and started running up the stairs (she works a floor above me). Tuesday comes and I email her and say “I’ll come up to get you at 5.” and her guy friend texts me and says “I just wanted to give you a friendly heads up, she’s not interested, I just didn’t want you to waste your time, I know all too well how that is. She didn’t want to tell you because she felt bad. Move on to the next chick.” I told him thanks and that it was her loss, then she replied and said that she apologized but she couldn’t go because she had to do something after work. I said “lets do Wednesday then.” and he texted me saying “I have to admit you are persistent, but be careful you don’t want to come across as a stalker.” and then it lead into the possibility of her perceiving it as sexual harassment and I stopped flirting with her and really talking to her outside of the occasional “Hi” up until a last Friday.
I’m the IT guy and I went up to setup a new user she was training, I didn’t see her at her desk because she was at the new user’s desk squatting down because there was no chair. I asked her if she needed help and proceeded to help her with stuff (while doing some mild flirting, which was again responded to by big smiles and giggling) and she told me how happy she was that I restored the old version of a program for her because she hated the new version and didn’t know how to use it. After everything was finished about 15 minutes later and I went back down to my desk I got an email from her with the subject “help!” with about 20 !s, did a little more flirting via email and went up to help her. While up there I fixed the issue and showed her how to do it (got her slightly alone, if you want to put it that way) and she said “you know I won’t remember that!” with a little giggle. I was talking to her (female) boss while standing a few feet behind this girl and she knew I was behind her and she proceeded to bend over the desk and do some stuff instead of squatting down like before. I’d like to think this was for my benefit since I noticed her wedge sandals before while standing next to her and told her they made her a lot taller and she responded “That’s what i was going for!” with a little giggle.
I asked a close female friend about this whole deal yesterday and she said that this girl was flirting with me but then I said that she later rejected the date and my friend said that she’s probably just a flirty girl since I haven’t really seen her interact with other men (my company is mostly women) and she doesn’t seem to act this way with her guy friend, but then again I usually only see them together for like a minute or two.
So the question is: do I keep pushing on to try and develop a connection (kind of hard since I only see her a few minutes every once in a while) and hope I didn’t screw up my chance early on with the email which I would assume displays a lack of confidence (I told her later on the only reason I was emailing her was to be discreet) instead of a direct verbal offer and asking if the date was still on? Or do I forget about her and move on to the next woman?
Hey Brandon
Thanks for your positive feedback. Great to hear that it’s all starting to make sense for you now.
About the situation with the girl at work: I recommend you stop trying to escalate at all. As I explain in The Flow, you should not practice “picking up women” in a work environment. Only when you are proficient in the art and can naturally and easily pick up women outside of the work environment, should you risk (yes, it’s a risk) picking up women in the work environment.
That may actually be one of the reasons she is avoiding the process of beginning to date you. She may already know that you and her wouldn’t last as a couple and doesn’t want the hassle. Practice using our techniques outside of the work environment first.
BTW: It SOUNDS like you’re doing a lot of things correctly, but by reading into the situation I can see that you’d be making a lot of small mistakes that have added up to her being having to THINK about whether she should hook up with you. When you are skilled at using our techniques, women won’t stop and think whether they should be with you, they will just REACT and go with The Flow. The next thing they know, they are riding you in bed and screaming out, “Oh! Oh! Oh!”
Enjoy the great times ahead! 😉
Cheers
Dan
Thanks for the info buddy. It’s always those stupid little mistakes that screw me up. I’m going to be stuck at work for the next few hours with nothing to do so I think I’m going to go over Dating Power to see what I missed.
The thing is our company doesn’t frown upon relationships because we have multiple people here that are in relationships with each other (no idea if it happened because they met each other here or before they started working here). Oh well, on to the next one!
Hey Brandon
You’re welcome mate.
Okay, just make sure you practice outside of the work environment until you are skilled at naturally attracting women and going through The Flow process. The workplace isn’t an environment to make newbie flirting mistakes with women.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Forgot to mention this in the above post: about two weeks ago she was wearing a few cute dresses that I liked and I told her that I liked the zebra print one that she wore and told her she looked cute and complemented her sense of style, the following day she wore a butterfly print one and told her she looked cute in that one too. I jokingly said to her “should I expect to see a leopard/cheetah print one tomorrow” and she said she actually does have one and I told her I expected to see it sometime that week, but I didn’t. The following week she was wearing another dress and I looked at her, smiled and joking said “what no cheetah print today?” and she said she would wear it the next day, which I didn’t think she would. I came and sure enough she had it on. I told her later “I see you have it on!” and her response was “I had to.” with a smile.
I didn’t talk to her that much this week up until she came down earlier today with her laptop, which my coworker fixed for her. While she was here I was talking to her and standing in front of her while leaning on the cubicle partition and she was sitting down. She was wearing a low-cut shirt and I noticed her “primping and preening” herself a few times. I think she’s into me, but like you said before, work may be getting in the way.
Yep, just leave it for now.
Let her attraction build. Use it to build your confidence in yourself. Have sex with women OUTSIDE of work for now.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
I was dating this girl for a week using the steps in the flow as you told me however this time something that I didn’t expect happen, since she is from a really conservative place and she is shy, the first two dates I try to show sexual interest in a way that feel ok in which she answer me back, after the 3rd date when I was sure there was attraction I went for the kiss and she reject me, after that she told me that she had just broke up with his first and only boyfriend a week before she met me.
She said that at her culture people are not that liberal and that she needed to know me more, I told her that I understand and respect her answer but i think the best way of knowing someone that you want to date is dating,
The next weeks I stop texting her, speaking with her as much, or flirting with her and she has been doing the opposite she is texting me almost everyday, following me when Im with friends and my friends say that she looks at me in a loving way, she ask me why I don’t date girls from here(she is not from my country),I told her that I had but they just didn’t work then she told me about how she has only had sex with one guy and a lot of stories from her life, anyway more weeks have past when she calls me, follow me and invite to places, to which i go sometimes
I don’t know how to deal with this situation because I don’t want to be her best friend(being there when I was in high school), so I invite her to the movies where we where in a kind of date that was ok, i flirt whit her a little but I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable, to which she said she had a great time with a huge smile and sexy eyes just to go smiling to her place when I drop her off.
What should I do man?
Hey Pablo
Thanks for your question.
It’s pretty clear what’s going on here: She is leading YOU. You can’t let a woman lead the courtship. If you do, they will play hard to get and make you jump through 100 hoops to get any sexual action. You’ve just got to do this: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/the-kissing-drug.html (as I’ve already explained in The Flow).
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan
To start let me tell you that it work, with the last girl, however I don’t know how but after a month of dating she start texting me every day and two days later told me that wanted me to live with her which push me away later she wanted to have sex without any kind of protections, anyway I broke up with her and it wasn’t easy. Anyway I don’t know if something is wrong with me, but after I date a girl that was really nice I decide to stop dating random girls and not dating until I find some girl that I like so just 2 weeks ago I met this girl that is different from other girls I know she is a girl that has a lot of qualities that I like We meet by mutual friends and we being friends since then (2 weeks) she is the kind of hot girl that has 20 if not more guys around her, I feel a mutual attraction within the first time we meet, at the end of the day when we meet she told me that we should meet another day ( i got a date with her without asking her out), the day of the date the first thing she ask me is if I believe in love?, wich I answer yes, she told me that their parents are divorce and that she does not want I relationship, but she doesn’t want to hook up either, so we became friends and she says that she needs to be friend with someone for long time, etc…. She is afraid of love or so she says later some people told me that she has never have a boyfriend for a long time. She is the kind of girl that hates other women and has only male friends,still that hast stop me going out with her she says that the thing she likes the most about me is that I am the only person that doesn’t let her go her way all the time, today I was texting another girl and she saw me and smartly start looking at One of many guys that like her that guy has been liking her forever and she has been playing with him giving him hopes and telling him not later; and then she ask me if I think she should start dating him?,I feel bad for the guy and answer that she should either date a guy or cut his wing but never play with him ( I say it in a friendly but serious way), she laugh and told me that she is like that My questions is, do you have any advice with this girls?,
Hey Pablo
Thanks for your question.
Yes, she is just testing you. A girl like that will only love you if you don’t put up with her crap like other guys do. When she asked you if she should date the other guy, you replied in a way that told her how you want her to treat YOU, not the other guy…and she KNEW that. She was testing you. You should have said, “Yes and then you should marry him tomorrow.” That way, you are using humor and messing with HER.
She will also be impressed that you’re not worried about losing her. She wants a guy with that type of emotional strength.
If you let her push you around, she will never want to be with you. If you don’t know how to be a strong man and not let women push you around, watch this: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
Here’s a tricky one for you, and this was the most applicable article I could find.
How do you go about this when you are in an open marriage? A little background; we are not swingers (that would actually be easier in a few ways), we follow the idea of polyamory that many people who are dating multiple people do intrinsically (whether they actually are aware of it or not). It’s about love and relationships, not just about sex.
I belive you spoke of having multiple girlfriends in the past where at least some of them were aware of the others. I can see how that would work when you are single, since each woman can at least maintain in her mind that she might get you to herself, eventually. It seems that women have a knee jerk reaction to a married man, no matter how open and emotionally/sexually/physically available he is. The taboo cloulds reality.
Enough background, my question is how would you go about getting a girlfriend within such a situation?
I am confident and I can certainly generate attraction in most women I meet, but there seems to be a glass ceiling with the whole marriage thing. I don’t want to be deceptive, because I am looking for a girlfriend, not a quick fling.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this, I’m out of ideas and it’s quite frustrating.
Thanks in advance,
– Jack
Hi Jack
Thanks for your question.
Wow, that’s the first time anyone has ever brought up polyamory. For those reading along who don’t know, here is the definition of polyamory: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
Many women are open to sleeping with and having relationships with married men. You either haven’t been meeting the right women, or you are going about it in the wrong way.
I’d need to know more about how you’re approaching the interactions with women, how much you’re talking about your wife, whether you are bringing up the subject of polyamory, etc, to give you an accurate response here.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
Eek, I let the reply notification get buried in my inbox, sorry about the delay of my reply!
I am surprised you haven’t had anyone talk about polyamory before. I have been seeing resistance to the idea, but it seems to be more from the view of never having me exclusively and not seeing a future in the relationship, and less about the base fact that I am married. It’s almost as though they’d be more likely to consider it if I was cheating instead.
I figure that’s because they might still be able to envision getting me to themselves eventually if I’m cheating, but the relationship will never move into exclusivity with them if I’m in an open marriage. That’s just a theory at this point though.
I mention the polyamory (relatively) early so women don’t feel deceived in any way, and that preemtive honesty seems to be appreciated. I don’t talk about my wife unless they ask questions, and I don’t belabor the polyamory point either. It’s just a fact, and I share it as such without priming them that it is unusual, or that I’m worried how they’ll react or anything like that.
Most seem interested in the idea of polyamory itself and want to know more, they certainly don’t run for the hills or anything. Unfortunately I don’t have a larger dataset for you yet, which is why my question was meant to seek your thoughts on what I should alter ahead of time from the normal interactions to avoid/handle these issues in my (somewhat unique) situation. I don’t have the luxury of time to only go for the numbers game at this point, too much other stuff to do.
Thanks,
– Jack
Hey Jack
In your case, I would recommend that you start a polyamory meet up group: http://www.meetup.com/
Meet up with women who are interested in it, rather than trying to convince other women to be open to it.
Once you get about 10 members, try calling up a newspaper and telling them about the growing number of polyamory enthusiasts. They will most likely run a story on it, which will then lead to more members for you.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi
Cheers
Dan