Most guys who want to get a girlfriend back have hurt her in some way or another, but are still able to get her back.
For example: If a guy hurts his girlfriend, it will usually be a case of him doing something that shows he didn’t truly love her, or wasn’t truly committed to her.
It’s pretty common and it can be fixed.
So, if you want to make up with your girlfriend, here are the best 10 tips on how to do it:
1. Know that her level of attraction for you will determine how willing she is to forgive you
In other words, if your girlfriend doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore, then she won’t have much desire to forgive you and give the relationship another chance.
However, if you interact with her and make her experience new feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you, then it will be in her best interests to forgive you so the relationship can get back together.
Why?
Since she is feeling attracted and drawn to you again, it means that her feelings for you aren’t dead.
If she doesn’t give you another chance now, then she is going to be missing you and wanting you back.
If she waits too long to give you another chance and you then move on with another woman and are happy, she will end up feeling like the one who got left behind, rejected or dumped.
She doesn’t want to feel that kind of pain (i.e. the kind that you’ve been feeling since she dumped you).
As a result, she opens up to forgiving your mistake(s) to give the relationship another chance while she still can.
This is why, if you want to make up with your girlfriend after hurting her, it’s absolutely essential that you focus on making her feel attracted to you during interactions, so she realizes that her feelings for you, are still way too strong to continue going through with a break up.
Some of the ways you can make her feel attracted are by…
Being confident and believing in your value to her, rather than feeling unsure of yourself and filling your head with negative thoughts like, “I’ve really stuffed things up so badly” or, “What if she never forgives me?”
Flirting with her (e.g. playfully teasing her) to create so much sexual tension between you that she wants to release it with hugging, kissing and sex.
Not being afraid to use humor when talking to her (even if she is in a bad mood, or is being cold), so she can’t help but feel happier when talking to you.
Remaining calm and easy-going when she acts cold or aloof towards you.
The more you make her feel attracted again, the more willing she will be to forgive you.
Yet, if you just talk to her in a nice, friendly way or over-apologize for hurting her and end up seeming desperate, then she won’t be feel much or any attraction.
Therefore, she will be much less likely to forgive you and give the relationship another chance.
2. Be aware that sometimes a woman will act like she is unwilling to forgive her boyfriend, even when she is
Some of the reasons why a woman might act that way are:
- She wants to temporarily punish him for the pain he put her through.
- She’s afraid he will hurt her again if she gets back with him.
- She doesn’t want to give in too quickly and give him the impression that what he did wasn’t very serious after all. If he thinks that, he may then assume she was just putting on an act about being upset and hurt to make him chase her. Therefore, he won’t feel like he made much of a mistake and potentially might do it again and again in future.
- She worries that he only wants her to forgive him so he can feel better about behaving like such a jerk, rather than actually being genuinely sorry for what he did.
- She wants to test him (by initially being unwilling to give him another chance) to see if he has changed and improved some of the things that caused her to dump him, or if he’s just pretending to have changed so he can get another chance for now.
- She wants to hopefully gain some more power in the relationship, by making him try hard to get her back.
- She is trying to impress her girlfriends by seeming like a confident, independent woman who doesn’t put up with bad treatment from a man. Secretly, she misses her boyfriend and wants him back, but wants to act tough or carefree about it all now, to gain some respect and admiration from her friends.
- She wants to see if her boyfriend will become insecure and begin begging and pleading, or if he’ll maintain the type of confidence and masculinity that caused her to fall in love with him in the first place.
So, if your girlfriend doesn’t seem willing to forgive you, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed and can’t get another chance with her.
If you remain confident and focus on re-attracting her, she will feel motivated to give in and forgive you to get the relationship back together.
However, if you panic, feel insecure and begin pleading with her, she can literally begin to change her mind and become unwilling to forgive you (i.e. because she is turned off by your approach to get her back).
This is why, it’s essential that you remain confident no matter what and focus on making her feel a renewed sense of attraction for you.
3. Do apologize to her, but don’t grovel, suck up to her or become desperate
When a guy grovels and becomes desperate, his apology will usually be full of rushed excuses (e.g. “I’m sorry. I did it because I love you so much”) or big promises (e.g. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never do it again. I will do anything you want. Please just give me a chance”), which isn’t what a woman really wants to hear.
A woman wants to see her boyfriend remaining calm, confident and in control, while also being sincere about what he is saying to her.
So, the best approach when apologizing is to:
- Remain calm and confident.
- Keep the apology brief.
- Be sincere.
- Accept what you did as being a silly mistake that you’ve now learned from.
- Don’t immediately ask her for another chance.
- Don’t ramble on about your feelings for her.
- Focus on turning the conversation back to laughter and feel good emotions as soon as possible.
By apologizing to your girlfriend like that, you will let her see that you’ve already changed and become more of a man than you were before.
You have learned your lesson and aren’t making the additional mistake of groveling, pleading or begging her to forgive you.
Instead, you’re being a man about it and that is attractive to her.
Approaching it in that way automatically sparks new feelings of respect and attraction for you, which then causes her to stop focusing on how badly you hurt her.
Instead, she begins focusing on her love and desire for you, which makes it easier for her to forgive you, so the relationship can get back together.
4. Understand that if you cut off contact, she may see that as another betrayal or insult to her
Some guys use the No Contact Rule (i.e. not contacting a woman for 30 days after a break up) to hopefully make their girlfriend come running back.
Yet, in case where a woman dumped a guy for hurting her, using the No Contact Rule after a break up can make it seem as though he doesn’t even care enough to try and get her back, or at least contact her and apologize.
As a result, his ex girlfriend may then decide to get revenge by finding herself another man as quickly as possible and then posting photos of him and her looking happy and in love on social media, to rub it in his face.
Alternatively, if he does finally contact her (e.g. after a few weeks or months), she might ignore his messages and refuse to answer his calls, which then makes it more difficult for him to re-attract her and get the relationship back together.
So, if you want your girlfriend to forgive you and give you another chance after hurting her, you stand a much better chance of that happening by staying in her life and re-attracting her compared to just ignoring her.
5. Level up your understanding of what makes a woman feel loved and want to commit to a man for life
Then, let her experience your new and improved approach the next time you interact with her.
For example: Some of the things that make a woman feel loved and want to commit to a man for life, include:
- He is loving, caring and attentive towards her, but is also enough of a challenge to motivate her to put in the effort to be a good woman and treat him well, or else he will lose interest in her. That is the ideal balance that women want, but many men don’t do it because they can’t be bothered (i.e. he just wants to be neutral with her like a friend), or because he fears that she won’t like it if he’s anything other than nice and agreeable.
- He lets her have her way sometimes, but doesn’t tolerate bad behavior or her being disrespectful towards him (i.e. he lets her know if she has stepped over the line and is now being disrespectful).
- He maintains his confidence when she tries to make him feel insecure by teasing him, being distant or creating drama.
- He doesn’t lose control of his emotions and get upset when she’s moody or throws a tantrum.
- He makes her feel sexy, wanted and desired, rather than taking her for granted or treating her like a friend or buddy.
- He believes in himself and in his value to her, rather than losing confidence in the relationship and becoming clingy and needy as a result.
These are just a few of the things that make a woman feel loved and want to stick with a man in a relationship.
So, make sure that you prepare yourself to let her sense that you now get all of that.
If she senses that you even get half of it, then she’ll feel enough attraction to want to forgive you.
If you get more of it and are able to let her sense it based on how you now talk to her, react to her and behave in general, she will see you as the one and know that it would be a mistake to leave you.
6. Show sincere care about her feelings, but don’t let her make it out to be worse than it was
Some women make a mistake that a guy made out to be way worse than it actually is.
A woman might do this to gain power over a guy, test his confidence and masculinity and see how he will react when under that kind of pressure.
How you react will directly affect her level of attraction, respect and love for you.
So, calmly acknowledge that some aspects of your actions, behavior and the way you treated her caused her pain and then gently turn the conversation back to laughter and smiling as soon as possibly.
By doing approach it in that way, it shows her that you’re not going to allow her create unnecessary drama over what happened.
Instead, you’ve admitted your mistake, learned from the experience and have already taken steps to become a better, more emotionally mature man.
As a result, she won’t be able to stop herself from naturally feeling respect for you again.
When she respects you, she then feels more attracted to you and becomes open to forgiving your mistakes and giving the relationship another chance.
7. Understand that if she truly loves you, she will miss being around you
That’s why it’s best to apologize, show her that you care, re-attract her and then give her a few days of space to miss you.
During those 3 or so days, she will have a chance to stop focusing on all the ways you stuffed up and begin to miss the things she likes about you (e.g. the way you make her feel protected and safe when she’s with you, how you’re so ambitious and hard-working, that you were always kind and respectful towards her friends and family, that you’re a really good guy, the way you always know how to make her laugh and smile when she’s having a bad day, how she feels when having sex with you, your scent, your smile, the intelligent, interesting or fun conversations you and her used to have).
By giving her time to realize that she does miss you and that you’re not all bad, she becomes more open to forgiving you.
It then becomes easy for you to re-attract her and make her want you sexually and romantically again.
Important: Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if 3 days will make her miss you, then waiting even longer will definitely make her miss you more.
Sometimes that will work, but in most cases, a woman will feel resentful, annoyed and revengeful if her ex doesn’t try to get her back after more than a week.
She will usually then put in the effort to get over him and move on (i.e. date other men), rather than waiting around and risk getting hurt again.
She may also just start dating or sleeping with a guy who is interested in her, to ensure that when her ex does contact her, she has something to hurt him with and protect herself with.
So, while it’s fine to give her a little bit of space, don’t go overboard with it.
Additionally, don’t give her space if you haven’t re-attracted her yet, or if you feel as though she isn’t attracted to you anymore.
How much attraction she feels for you will determine how much she misses you.
8. Tell her that you love her, but will accept the break up if she can’t forgive you
By saying that to her, you’re letting her know that even though you do love her, miss her and want her back, you’re not going to beg and plead if she isn’t interested.
As a result:
- She automatically feels respect and attraction for you again, for being an emotionally strong and mature about the situation, rather than being needy and desperate.
- She feels a little rejected and sad that you would just walk away from her without a fight and makes her question whether what happened (i.e. how you hurt her) is worth losing you over forever.
- She imagines what it will be like for her to go out and find another man like you, invest a lot of her time in a relationship and then potentially find out that he’s not right for her after all.
- She worries that she won’t ever find another man who can mature, level up and become an even better man as quickly as you have.
As a result, her defenses come down and she becomes open to forgiving you and working things out.
9. Don’t see yourself as being a horrible man if you simply made a mistake
For example: A guy may have been angry and said something hurtful to his girlfriend, put her down in front of family or friends or lied to her about something that he couldn’t work up the courage to be truthful about.
Instead of seeing yourself as a horrible boyfriend, you need to understand that everyone makes mistakes in a relationship sometimes.
However, what turns a guy into a great man is when he learns from his mistakes and becomes an even better man as a result.
So, instead of beating yourself up over what happened, use it as motivation to help you quickly (i.e. within the next week at the most) become the kind of man that your girlfriend wants to forgive.
10. Don’t lose touch with the cool confident side of yourself that she was attracted to in the first place
When a guy gets dumped because he hurt his girlfriend, he might decide that the only way to convince her that he’s truly sorry, is by being super nice, agreeable and polite from now on.
Yet, by acting like that, he stops displaying the qualities that attracted her to him in the first place (e.g. he was a bit of a challenge, he didn’t always agree with everything she had to say, he stood up to her when she was out of line, he had a rugged, manly type of confidence, he knew she wanted him).
As a result, she doesn’t feel attracted to him in the way she used to and begins to realize that if she got back with him, he would be unattractive to her now.
Here’s the thing…
Even though a woman doesn’t want to be with a guy who treats her badly, she also doesn’t want to be with a guy who is an emotional wuss.
So, don’t think you have to suck up to her and be on your best behavior to get another chance.
That will further ruin her feelings for you.
Instead, what you need to do is mix in some of your original behavior that attracted her to you in the first place, as well as being treating her better and being more loving and kind from now on.
When you do that, her walls naturally come down and she feels that she can trust you to be the man she can depend on from now on.
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