If your girlfriend has sent you a breakup text, you are now at a crossroads point in the relationship.
How you respond will have a huge effect on how she feels, your ability to contact her again and how hard or easily she will get over you.
What works in terms of a response to a breakup text, really depends on your situation.
So, here are 11 different examples of how to respond to a breakup text and the potential positive or negative consequences of each:
1. Agree with the breakup and suggest remaining friends
For example:
If a woman texted her boyfriend to say, “I’m sorry to say this, but I’m breaking up with you. I can’t do this anymore. Please respect my decision. I wish you all the best” he can reply with, “Okay, I accept your decision. We are broken up and it’s over. I accept that. I think the mature thing to do now is to at least remain friends. Feel free to say hi to me as a friend sometime if you want and I might reach out and say hi one day too.”
In some cases, a woman will change her mind about wanting to be broken up based on the rejection she feels from a text like that and also the attraction she feels based on her boyfriend’s emotional maturity.
All of sudden, she will begin to worry that she’ll be the one who feels rejected and left behind because he has simply accepted the breakup.
As a result, she will show interest or agree to see each other for a while longer to assess how she feels.
Her plan at that point will usually be to prepare herself to go through with a breakup when she is ready emotionally, or to see if the relationship can actually work from now on.
In other cases, the woman won’t change her mind and will simply agree to be friends, even if it’s only to seem emotionally mature in the moment, or so she can phase you out of her life without you realizing it (e.g. she gradually texts and calls less and less, you stop meeting in person).
Yet, the good news is that when you get her to agree to keep contact open between you and her, it allows you to stay in touch and use interactions to re-attract her (i.e. by being confident, using flirting, being manly).
Agreeing to be friends also means you can use social media to let her see you looking confident and happy without her.
When an ex woman sees photos of you looking confident, happy and enjoying life without her, it usually sparks feelings of jealousy and curiosity inside of her.
She then begins to regret her decision to break up and becomes more open to texting, or meeting up in person.
Just make sure that you don’t get stuck in an ongoing text conversation though.
You have to get to an in-person meetup, so you can attract her further and then get to a hug, kiss, sex and back into a relationship.
Or course, accepting the breakup and suggesting to just be friends now can also have a negative consequence for your chances of getting her back.
For example: She doesn’t reply because she is happy that you’ve accepted the breakup and that she can now move on in peace.
She’s not interested in being friends, so she just ignores that part of your text and begins moving on without you.
Another potentially negative consequence is that she says, “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe being friends is a good idea. I think it would be best to make a clean break and move on without contacting each other anymore. Thanks for respecting my decision and all the best.”
As you can see, how you respond to a breakup over text will have positive or negative consequences depending on you, her and your unique relationship situation.
So, what should you do if you want her back and don’t want to mess things up?
Simple.
Just go through the ex back process, which results in her feeling attracted and drawn to you regardless of the breakup reason, or regardless of what you have or haven’t texted her since the breakup.
Don’t become overwhelmed by the millions of possible options of how to reply to her breakup text, what to say and when.
If you want her back, just go through the ex back process and she will be yours once again.
Another way to respond to a breakup over text is to…
2. Disagree with the breakup and ask to talk about it
If she agrees, you can then arrange a meetup with her to talk things through.
For example: Imagine if a woman broke up with her boyfriend over text because he wasn’t committed enough and took her for granted.
She’s going to want to be treated better and made to feel special, but a guy shouldn’t suddenly do a lot of that, or else he will come across as desperate and turn her off even more.
So, rather than trying to defend himself, declare his undying love, or worse, rush a marriage proposal to get her back, a guy should remain calm, confident and focus on re-sparking her feelings of attraction during the meetup (e.g. by use humor to show her that they can still laugh together, flirt with her to prove to her that the attraction between them isn’t completely dead).
From there, he should also let her know that he probably wasn’t the best boyfriend and understands that now.
He can let her know that if they did get back together, or just see each other again to assess how things go, he wouldn’t take her for granted anymore because he realizes the mistake.
Once back together and when things are going well, he can then show more interest in commitment (i.e. talk about moving in together, or propose to her).
However, all that can only happen if she is open to talking about the relationship.
In some cases, a woman may simply ignore her ex, block him or reject his attempts to meet up with her.
It then becomes a bit more difficult to re-attract her because she’s refusing to talk to you.
3. Don’t respond at all
She may feel shocked that you’re not even replying to the breakup text, which can then cause her to wonder if she made a mistake, or to at least feel like she didn’t get the closure or feeling of satisfaction (i.e. from seeing you beg, plead and try to convince her to give you another chance) that she expected she would.
As a result, she then contacts you and apologizes for dumping you via text, or tries to get you to reply by saying something negative (i.e. “You’re not even going to reply to me? Well, that just proves to me that I made the right decision. Goodbye!”).
If she does send you another text, just focus on being confident, easygoing and use humor where applicable.
If you’re able to get her texting back and forth, you should transition to a phone call and in person meetup, so you can re-attract her and get her back.
That said, she might also have a different reaction to you not responding to her breakup text.
For example: She imagines a bunch of negative things about you (e.g. you’re too upset to contact her, you didn’t take it well and are falling apart, are a coward for letting her dump you in that way).
She then feels satisfied that she hurt you and begins to move on.
Alternatively, she just doesn’t care at all and just focuses on moving on without you, usually by hooking up with and dating other men.
You then lose out on the opportunity to get her back.
What should you do instead if you actually want her back?
Follow the ex back process and you will get her back within 24 hours to 1 week.
4. Accept it and wish her the best
A positive consequence of wishing her the best can be that it lets her know (without actually saying the words) that you’re not going to sit around feeling sad, depressed or put your life on hold, just because she broke up with you.
You’re also not going to be bitter, or emotionally immature about it and behaving in an angry, vengeful or childish way.
Instead, you’re being an emotionally mature man and handling the situation much better than she did, by simply accepting it and wishing her the best.
She then feels embarrassed about the way she dumped you and possibly a bit rejected and left behind at the same time.
As a result, she doesn’t feel the satisfaction she thought she would from dumping you.
Since you seem to be handling it with confidence and class, she also feels a surge of attraction for you, which makes her begin to question whether or not her feelings for you are truly dead.
That allows her to then drop her guard and open up to being seduced back into a relationship with you.
On the other hand, a negative consequence of accepting the breakup and wishing her the best can be that she then says, “Great. I’m glad you feel that way. Thanks for being understanding. I hope you have a great life too. All the best.”
She might then cut off all contact with you, or focus on finding a new man to date, have sex or a relationship with asap.
5. Ask for reasons why and try to discuss that via text
If she is okay with that and actually tells you her reasons (including the secret ones that she’s been hiding from you all along), you can then quickly make some adjustments to your attitude and behavior to be attractive and appealing to her again.
When she sees you’ve changed and improved in ways that matter to her, she then feels motivated to forgive you and as a result, she then opens up to reconciling the relationship.
On the other hand, a potential negative consequence of asking for her reasons is that she feels annoyed that you still don’t get what she wants.
She may also feel like it would be too much work to continue a relationship with you because you need her to teach you how to be an attractive man.
As a result, she doesn’t want to tell you and simply closes up.
Here are some common reasons why a woman will break up with a guy, but never explain to him in detail and in some cases, at all.
- She doesn’t want to be responsible for teaching him how to be an attractive man for her. Instead, she wants him to figure it out by himself and then naturally attract her.
- She doesn’t like how hesitant he is when he touches her inside and outside of the bedroom. His fear of her reactions is a huge turn off to her and she wants him to be more assertive when touching her.
- She doesn’t like how fearful he seems around confident people. He seems to suddenly feel inferior and becomes more shy, timid and unsure of himself.
- She doesn’t like how emotionally sensitive he is when around her. She has to be nice, straightforward, encouraging and reassuring, or else he becomes insecure. She wants to be able to be emotionally unpredictable (like a typical woman), rather than having to be so restrained and predictable. She knows that another man would be able to handle her real self, but her current guy can’t because he’s so emotionally sensitive.
A woman usually won’t explain those things.
Instead, she’ll say that she doesn’t know what to tell him, but knows that something feels wrong and she no longer wants to put up with it.
Alternatively, she’ll say that she needs time to be by herself, to find herself or needs space to think.
It’s all just a distraction to avoid having to tell him what she really feels.
Another potentially negative consequence of asking her for reasons why via text, is that she gets annoyed and frustrated having to text back and forth with you.
It can turn into a huge discussion, which can be time-consuming and stressful for the woman.
As a result, she might decide to just block your number so she doesn’t have to deal with you anymore.
Additionally, trying to discuss her reasons for wanting to break up can lead to misunderstandings on both sides, which then requires more explaining and can result in a very long, tiring text conversation.
She then feels more turned off than drawn to you, which can then make her feel like she wants to get away from you, rather than get back with you.
6. Show her that you feel emotionally hurt that she is dumping you via text
If that works with her, she could feel guilty and regret it.
She might then apologize to you and ask for another chance, which you then give her.
Alternatively, she could feel turned off by what she perceives as your emotional weakness.
She might then feel annoyed that you are trying to manipulate her into getting back together by attempting to make her feel pity, or guilt for breaking up with you over text.
7. Be rude or mean, in an attempt to hurt her feelings
A positive outcome of hurting her feelings is that she can regret her decision to end the relationship and create the emotional pain that you and her are now feeling.
She might then apologize to you for breaking up with you over text and open up to seeing you in person.
In person, you can then reactivate her feelings (e.g. with humor and flirting) and make her want to give the relationship another chance.
However, in most cases, being rude or mean to an ex woman will have negative consequences.
Instead of hurting her feelings, the rude or mean behavior can further convince her that she made the right decision to break up with you.
She may then decide to hurt you back by hooking up with another man and posting photos of them looking happy together on social media to rub it in your face.
Alternatively, she may just decide to cut you out of her life (e.g. block your number or block you on social media, avoid going to places where she might bump into you).
Then, if you calm down a few days later and realize that you shouldn’t have responded in that way, she might reject you, or you may find out that you’ve been blocked.
So, in the end, being rude or mean to her backfires and causes you more pain than it does for her.
8. Wait a few days to reply
This allows things to calm down between you and her.
It also prevents you from replying in an emotionally weak, desperate or angry way and turning her off even more in the process.
Waiting a few days to respond can give her time to think about her decision and potentially make her realize that she actually misses you after all.
So, when you do contact her after a few days (don’t wait longer than a week) and come across as calm, confident and in control of your emotions, she will automatically feel some attraction for you.
Added to the fact that she’s been missing you and wondering why you didn’t respond, your attractive behavior when you contact her makes her begin to question whether or not she made the right decision to leave you.
After all, her feelings for you clearly aren’t dead.
There’s still something there.
So, she then opens up to interacting with you more to see how she feels.
On the other hand, a negative consequence of waiting a few days to respond can be that she takes your silence as a sign you don’t care about her and have already accepted the breakup.
She may then accept a date with a guy who has been interested in her (e.g. a friend of a friend, someone from work or her neighborhood, a guy she met at the gym, an ex) to make herself feel better.
Alternatively, she could go out partying with her friends to celebrate her newfound single life and hook up with a random guy she meets at a club or bar.
9. Confuse her
For example: One of the ways you can do that is by replying with, “Thanks,” or “Thank you,” or “Who is this? Sorry, your number isn’t in my phone.”
It takes courage and confidence to respond to a breakup text in that way.
As a result, it confuses her, because it’s not how she was expecting you to respond (e.g. she thought you would get upset, call her right away to try and change her mind) and it makes her feel a bit attracted to you.
She then feels curious and wants to contact you and see why you replied to her in that way.
As long as you maintain your confidence (regardless of what she says or does) when you begin communicating again after the breakup text, she will feel naturally sparks of attraction, whether she wants to or not.
Her defenses will then begin to come down and you can then arrange to catch up with her in person, where you can attract her further and get to a kiss and sex to reignite more of her feelings for you.
A potentially negative outcome of confusing her with your response is that she just thinks, “Whatever” and focuses on moving on.
10. Call her
On a phone call, she can hear the tonality of your voice and sense your emotional state much better than via text (e.g. she senses that you are feeling confident, emotionally strong and aren’t falling apart over her breakup text).
As a result, it’s much more difficult for her to think negatively of you.
Instead, she naturally feels sparks of respect and attraction for you whether she likes it or not.
For example: Imagine that you’re on a call with your ex right now.
Even though she initially tries to put you off by being cold, aloof and saying things like, “Why are you calling me?” you maintain your confidence.
You don’t buckle under the pressure.
You believe in yourself and know that you can re-attract her and get her back.
You also bring down her defenses by using playful humor and making her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you again.
She then becomes open to meeting up and seeing how she feels around you in person.
On the other hand, a negative consequence of responding in that way is that she may just refuse to answer the call, or decide to block you.
Alternatively, if you call her and come across in a nervous or insecure way, it will turn her off even more.
She will then be more likely to stick with her decision about the breakup.
11. Leave her wanting more
You can do that by simply replying with, “Goodbye.”
A response like that can leave her feeling empty and unsatisfied because it’s not what she is expecting (i.e. she expects to you plead with her, ask for reasons why, want to discuss things with her and stop the breakup).
As a result of your simple, “Goodbye” text, she may then feel compelled to text you further to see why you responded to her in that way.
You can then confidently flirt with her to make her feel more attracted and open to getting back with you.
For example: If she texts, “Is that all you have to say to me?” you can respond with, “Sorry. How about you cook me some dinner sometime this week and I promise I’ll say a lot more 😉” or, “Sorry. We chat about it over a drink if you want 🍻” and then add a winking, smiley emoji or an emoji about having a drink together.
That is flirting in a confident way because you’re boldly suggesting that she’d be open to such a thing, while also subtly showing interest in her.
It takes confidence, courage and emotional intelligence to flirt with her in a moment like that, which is one of the reasons why it will make her feel attracted, or at least intrigued and wanting more.
As a result, she will then be more willing to work things out with you, rather than walking away and regretting it later on.
Of course, there is the risk of responding with a simple “Goodbye.”
She might see that as meaning you accept the breakup and don’t want her back and therefore, she will be reluctant to contact you again in case you reject her.
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