1. Use humor to get her smiling and laughing first. Then, tell her
Regardless of how bad things are between you and your ex, a little bit of humor will usually take the bite out of the negative feelings she is holding onto about you and allow her to open up enough so that you can re-attract her and get her back.
This is why, if you think that your ex is currently closed off to you and not feeling much (or any) respect, attraction and love for you, using some humor when you text her is one of the easiest ways to bring down her guard and make her feel some sparks of love for you again.
So, don’t be afraid to joke with her to diffuse the tension between you and her and make her feel happy to be hearing from you again.
Then, once you’ve made her laugh and smile a little bit, you can get to the part where you tell her you love her.
For example: You can finish your text conversation with her by texting something like, “Anyway, I have to get going now. Heading out to meet with a couple of friends. Love you, Dan.”
By writing your name after “Love you” it actually makes her read it out as saying, “Love you Dan.”
In other words, it’s like she is saying that she loves you.
It echoes in her mind.
She feels it in that moment.
It’s a neurolinguistic programming trick that works every time.
She might then begin to think things like, “This is interesting. I’ve actually been enjoying texting with him. I even feel like I miss him. Maybe I do still love him. Maybe I should talk to him again on the phone or in person to see if I really still have feelings for him, or if I’m just attracted to him because he made me laugh.”
She then becomes more open to the idea of talking to you on the phone and seeing you in person, which is exactly what you want.
On a phone call and in person, you can easily re-attract her by allowing her to experience the new and improved man that you’ve become and get her back.
Another example of how to tell an ex you still love her via text is…
2. Just say it
In some cases, a woman might break up with a guy, but still have some feelings for him.
At the back of her mind she may even be thinking things like, “I thought that breaking up was what I wanted, but now I really miss him. So, even though it was bad near the end of our relationship and we were always fighting and arguing with each other, I don’t like how it feels without him. I realize now that I still have some feelings for him, but I don’t know if he still has any feelings for me. I wish he would give me a sign that he still cares too. Then, we could get back together again and try to make our relationship work this time.”
In a situation like this, getting a simple two word text of, “Love you,” from her ex is all she needs to open back up to him.
So, if you sense that your ex is secretly missing you (e.g. because she’s still open to interacting with you, she always responds to your texts or messages in a friendly, open way, she’s nice to you even though you’ve broken up), then sending her a simple, “Love you,” text may be exactly what she’s hoping for.
She might then respond with something like, “Love you too,” or “You too.”
It’s then up to you to take the next step (i.e. call her and arrange to see her in person), so that you can fully re-attract her and get her back.
Remember: Text on a little screen doesn’t have the same impact as words spoken over the phone and more importantly, as words said to her in person where she can see your body language and evaluate whether you’ve changed, how you’re feeling and how you’re responding to her.
For example:
- Are you confident and relaxed, or are you tense and nervous?
- Are you a new and improved man, or are you still making the same attraction mistakes you made before you and her broke up (e.g. being too timid and allowing her to walk all over you, treating her more like a neutral friend than like an attractive, desirable woman, giving your power to her, or being more emotionally masculine than her)?
- Do you believe in your attractiveness to her, or do you feel like she’s too good for you?
- Do you laugh at her (in a loving way) when she’s being cold, distant or even bitchy towards you during interactions, or do you become needy and desperate and seek pity from her for behaving like that by saying things like, “Why are you doing this to me? I still care for you and you’re not even trying. Please baby, don’t do this. I really want to make things work between us and you’re not giving us a chance.”
When she can see for herself that you really have changed and improved, her guard naturally comes down and she’s happy to give the relationship another try, because it feels good to her.
However, if you stick to texting, she may begin thinking things like, “I guess he said he loves me because he’s needy and desperate and can’t cope without me, not because he’s changed and is a better, more emotionally strong man now and wants to work things out with me. He doesn’t even have the balls to get on a phone call with me. I suppose I need to accept that he’s not the man I want him to be and work on getting over him so that I can move on.”
So, while it’s fine to tell your ex that you still love her via text, don’t get stuck at that level of communication with her.
If you want her back, make a move.
Another example of how to tell an ex you still love her via text is…
3. Send her a ballsy, funny text with real feeling
One of the biggest mistakes that a guy can make when texting an ex, is to be too serious with her (e.g. he’s very polite or formal and doesn’t say anything that might be misinterpreted by her as sexual or challenging, he is overly respectful and considerate towards her).
Essentially, he’s hoping that when she sees how nice he is being, her walls will begin to break down and she will eventually reveal her feelings for him, so he can then tell her that he still loves her.
Yet, life doesn’t work that way.
Most women don’t open up to and reveal their feelings to a guy who is afraid of them.
Women respect balls.
One of the ways to show a woman that you have balls, is to use ballsy humor when you text her.
Rather than texting something along the lines of, “Hey, I’ve been worried about you since we broke up. How are you doing?” in the hope that she will respond with something like, “I’m miserable without you. I really miss you! Do you miss me too?” have the emotional courage to just say what you really want to say to her and let her respond to that.
For example: Just go ahead and text, “Hey ex girlfriend, just wanted to say that I love you.”
Even if she doesn’t instantly show it, your ex will be impressed with you for having the confidence to say that to her, rather than playing games with her (e.g. sending her feeler texts in the hope that she will make it easy for you by telling you how she feels first).
She then begins to feel a renewed sense of respect for you for being an emotionally strong, ballsy man.
When she respects you, she also can’t stop feeling attracted to you again and she then becomes more open to taking to you over the phone and meeting up with you in person to see how things evolve from there.
Common Problems Guys Experience When Saying “I Love You” Via Text
In today’s world, texting has become a major form of communication between people, so it’s only natural that a guy might want to tell his ex that he loves her via text.
However, even though there are benefits to that, there are also some problems that might crop up.
So, if you’re looking to tell your ex that you still love her via text, here are some common problems guys experience when doing that.
1. She doesn’t seem overly excited to hear from him, so he loses confidence
Regardless of how a woman feels about her ex (e.g. she currently hates him and never wants to see him again, she feels nothing for him, she still has feelings for him and secretly wants to get back with him), in most cases, she won’t act like she’s happy to hear from him when he contacts her.
Instead, she will likely act cold, aloof and even bitchy towards him and even say things like, “Why are you texting me? What we had is over and I don’t care how you feel about me. I don’t feel the same way about you and I don’t want anything to do with you.”
Naturally, when a guy opens himself up to his ex and is rejected, he may begin to doubt himself and his attractiveness to her.
Yet, that’s the worst thing he can do. Why?
The more he loses confidence in himself and doubts himself and his attractiveness and value to her, the more unattractive he becomes to her.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman senses that a guy needs her to be nice to him so he can feel good enough about himself and then be able to follow through and get her back, it will actually turn her off him even more.
Women are attracted to men who are confident in themselves and in their attractiveness to a woman, without needing her approval, niceness or support to make them feel that way.
In other words, a woman wants a man who feels confident and good about himself, with or without her.
So, if a guy loses confidence in himself at the first sign of resistance from his ex, she won’t be able to reconnect with her feelings of respect and attraction for him.
She may then text him something along the lines of, “Look, I’m sorry that you’re struggling to get over me, but I don’t have feelings for you anymore. So, please accept that we’re broken up and that we’re not going to get back together again.”
This is why it’s very important that you maintain your confidence, no matter what your ex says or does to rattle you.
When she can see that no matter what she throws at you, you remain confident and emotionally strong, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for you again.
She then drops her guard and opens up to interacting with you more and more (i.e. over the phone and in person) and you can then use those interactions to fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another common problem guys experience when trying to get an ex back is…
2. Waiting for her to make it completely clear via text that she wants a relationship, before he pushes for a meet up
Sometimes a woman will willingly respond to texts from her ex and even engage in a texting conversation with him.
However, the more he tries to gauge how she feels about getting back together with him, the less sure he feels.
He may then think something to himself like, “Maybe she’s interested in getting back together again since she’s open to texting back and forth, but I don’t feel sure enough to push her for a meet up yet. I think the best thing for me to do is to wait a bit longer for her to give me an obvious sign that she wants a relationship. Then, I will definitely ask her to meet up with me so that we can get back together again.”
He then just sits around waiting for his ex to make it completely clear that she’s open to seeing him in person again, only to be shocked when he finds out that she’s been moving on without him.
Here’s the thing…
If you want your ex back, you can’t wait for her to make it easy for you.
If she’s texting you back, that’s as much of a sign as you’re likely going to get from her.
After that, it’s up to you to take the lead, reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Stop texting and get her on a call with you where you can spark some of her feelings for you and then arrange a meet up with her, where you can fully reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
The more sexual and romantic feelings you spark inside of her, the more she will open up to the idea of being your girl again.
On the other hand, if you stay stuck texting her without making a move, don’t be surprised if one day soon she says something along the lines of, “Look, it’s been nice texting you, but I have a new boyfriend now and he doesn’t want me texting you anymore. I hope you can accept that and not contact me again. I wish you all the best though and I hope you’ll find someone else too. Bye.”
Another common problem guys experience when trying to get an ex back is…
3. Trying to explain his feelings for her in detail via text
Many guys try to explain their feeling and what went wrong in the relationship with their ex, in a series of text messages.
A guy like that often hopes that when his ex reads his explanation she will think something along the lines of, “That’s so sweet. I finally understand why our relationship failed. However, I’m so thrilled to see that he still cares for me so much. It’s actually quite romantic that he’s telling me all this via text. Maybe I should call him and tell him that I’m ready to give our relationship another chance.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, anything that he says to her via text will generally not matter to her very much, because she doesn’t have feelings for him.
A woman only appreciates and loves it when a guy expresses his love for her if she has feelings for him.
If he has turned her off and caused her to lose respect for him, she’s going to feel closed off and maybe even defensive when he tries to explain his feelings to her.
At the same time, she sees it as a sign that he can’t gain control of his emotions and handle the situation like a man (i.e. get her on a call or to a meet up, reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love and guide her back into a relationship).
Instead, he just wants to hide behind safe text messages and explain all his feelings to her.
Unfortunately, that just doesn’t cut it.
The fact is, even though text messages have been around for a few decades now, people still feel the most respect and attraction when talking to each other face-to-face (or at least over the phone).
So, if you want to tell your ex that you love her and how much she means to you, you’re more likely to get the results you want (i.e. to get her back) if you do it in person and only after you’ve sparked some of her feelings for you first.
Another common problem guys experience when trying to get an ex back is…
4. Being afraid to just take a risk and send her a ballsy text
A mistake that a lot of guys make is assuming that being nice and sweet to a woman is the key to getting her back.
Yet, here’s something they likely don’t know…
Although a woman might appreciate it when a guy is being nice to her, it’s not what causes her to have ongoing sexual and romantic feelings for him.
So, when a guy only sends her nice, sweet texts telling her that he still loves her, even if she does think it’s sweet, it still doesn’t do anything to change how she feels about him.
It isn’t enough because there’s no sexual spark between them.
So, if you want to reawaken your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you, don’t be afraid to take a risk and send her a ballsy text (e.g. use cheeky humor to make her drop her guard and open up to wanting to talk to you over the phone and see you in person), rather than just being nice and sweet all the time.
Another common problem guys experience when trying to get an ex back is…
5. Worrying that saying, “I love you” will give her all the power
It will give her the power if you say “I love you” in a needy, desperate way (i.e. letting her sense that you need her back to feel good about yourself again and that you’re lost or lonely without her).
However, if you remain emotionally strong and confident regardless of her response (e.g. she ignores you, she says something like, “I don’t care,” she tries to use your love for her to manipulate you), not only won’t she have power over you, she will also begin to feel surges of respect and attraction for you again, which is what you want.
She then becomes open to seeing you in person, because she’s feeling drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her.
That gives you the opportunity to fully reactivate her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel like a desirable woman with you, showing her that you’re a new man now) and get her back into a relationship with you.
You’ve just got to be confident and make it happen.
Other guys do that every day all over the world and so can you.
You can do it.
Get her back!
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