Right now, you still feel totally attached to her.
You want her back so badly and think about her often, if not every day.
She’s always on your mind and you just want to be able to hug her, kiss her and love her again.
Yet, she’s not feeling the same way at the moment.
You’re essentially alone with this.
Feeling that loneliness, rejection and the pain that comes with it can often lead a man to making one of the following mistakes, which only pushes his ex further away.
So, if you want her back, be sure to avoid the following 3 mistakes:
1. Trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation with her when she’s not even attracted anymore
Think about it from her point of view.
She has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.
As a result, she no longer really cares about the relationship and is trying to steer herself in a direction that will allow her to feel respect, attraction and love for a man again.
She doesn’t feel it with you, so she is closing herself off to you.
So, if you then start talking about the relationship and saying things like, “Yes, we went through some difficult times and I made some mistakes, but the love we shared was real. I’ve never loved a woman as much as I have loved you. That must mean something. You have to admit that you and I had an amazing connection before. The love was real and it is still there for me and I know you would still feel it a bit too. So, we shouldn’t just be throwing this love away. You mean everything to me. Don’t I mean something to you?” she’s just not going to be feeling the same way you do.
As a result, it will highlight to her that the feelings between you and her aren’t mutual anymore.
She will realize that you are trying to hold onto something that just isn’t there for her.
As a result, she might say something like, “Sorry, but I just don’t feel the same way as you do. We’re no longer together anyway because we’ve broken up. So, as far as I’m concerned, the relationship is over and I really don’t want to be talking about it. We gave the relationship a shot, it didn’t work out and now it’s time to acknowledge that and move on. So, please just accept it and let me get on with my life.”
Essentially, she doesn’t have feelings for you in that moment, so discussions about being your girlfriend again will seem uncomfortable, inappropriate or unwanted to her.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to be interested in giving the relationship another chance, you first have to focus on making her have sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Without sexual and romantic feelings, she won’t feel motivated to get back with you, or to discuss the relationship or work on it.
Yet, when you reawaken her feelings first and make her want to get back with you, then she naturally becomes open to talking about the relationship and trying to get back together with you.
2. Hoping that expressing your feelings will make her have feelings
Sometimes a guy will hope that if he pours his heart out to his ex girlfriend, she will be flattered that he really does love her and it will make her want to reciprocate his romantic words by saying that she loves him too.
Yet, it almost never works out that way.
Why?
She has broken up with you because she stopped feeling enough respect, attraction and love to want to be with you.
As a result, when she ended the relationship, she didn’t really feel as though she was losing much and saw it as being more of a benefit to her to move on without you.
After the break up, she may have felt some pain that comes with a break up, but because she didn’t feel much respect, attraction and love for you, the pain will have gone away fairly quickly.
In a matter of hours, or days in some cases, she will have felt as though she was over you and ready to move on by meeting and dating new men.
So, if you come to her and express your feelings and pour your heart out to her (e.g. “I love you so much. You mean everything to me. Please just give me a chance. I would do anything for you”), then it’s not going to seem romantic to her, or seem like something she wants.
The reality is that women only appreciate romantic gestures, words and actions from a man that they are sexually attracted to and want to be with.
So, if your ex girlfriend wasn’t feeling much sexual attraction for you leading up to the break up and hasn’t been feeling it since, then she isn’t going to want to be with you in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
As a result, she isn’t going to be amazed, flattered and compelled to give you another chance if you pour your heart out to her and tell her how special she is, how much you love her and how you’d do anything to make her happy.
Instead, she will see your misplaced, romantic attempt to get her back as a desperate move because you don’t know what else to do.
Additionally, in cases like that, a woman will often see her ex man’s actions and selfish.
Why?
Essentially, he is telling her how much she means to him and how much he wants her back, so to her, it’s basically all about him and what he wants.
He wants her back so badly, he needs her back to feel okay again and is willing to do whatever it takes.
From his perspective, he isn’t being selfish and is being totally honest and sincere about his desire to make her happy and be a better man for her.
Yet, from her perspective, he’s just doing it to make himself feel better so he doesn’t have to live with the pain of being the rejected one and being left behind.
It’s a subtle thing that plays out in break ups that most men never understand and as a result, they are unable to get their ex girlfriend back.
So, what you need to understand is this: All that matters right now are her feelings.
To her, your feelings don’t matter.
She knows how you feel and knows that you want her back, but that’s not what will get her back.
What will get her back is when you reawaken her feelings for you, so she naturally has the motivation to want to get back with you.
Additionally, she begins to worry that if she doesn’t get back with, she will end up regretting it and missing you as you move on with a new woman who sees your worth and value.
So, when a woman feels like that, she wants to avoid the pain and rejection that will come with a scenario like that and as a result, she opens herself back up to her ex.
Suddenly, she feels attached to him again and wants to be with him.
Yet, if you approach the ex back process by making the mistake of pouring your heart out to her when she isn’t attracted to you, then she’s just going to want to move on and leave you behind.
3. Assuming that she will feel attached again if you cut off contact and wait
This is one of the biggest mistakes that guys make when trying to get an ex girlfriend back.
She isn’t attracted, doesn’t care about him anymore and he thinks she will suddenly care and feel attracted to him if he doesn’t contact her.
Instead, she is already over him and simply begins to move on.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that until it’s too late.
By the time a guy realizes that he’s been waiting and waiting and she hasn’t contacted him, she will have already moved on, or will be in the process of moving on without him.
So, when he finally reaches out to her (e.g. after 30-60 days), she will then say something like, “I hadn’t heard from you in such a long time that I assumed you had moved on. I’m actually surprised to hear from you. Anyway, I’m not going to lie to you – I’m with someone else now and I’m very happy. I don’t want to be texting back and forth with you because that would be disrespectful to my new boyfriend.So, please respect my new relationship. I wish you all the best.”
Her ex is then left feeling rejected once again.
He thought that she would fall for the trick of not contacting her, but like most women, she didn’t.
She had already lost a lot of respect, attraction and love for him by the time she broke up with him, so she was ready to get over him and move on pretty much right away.
…and she did.
So, here’s what you need to know…
In most ex back cases, 3 to 7 days of no contact is long enough to allow an ex woman to calm down, miss you and open up to the idea of interacting with you again to see what happens.
Anything longer than that and a woman will usually open herself up to meeting new guys, going on dates, having sex and falling in love again.
Over the years, I’ve heard from so many guys who have been disappointed after giving their ex girlfriend (or even ex wife) a month of space before contacting her.
They then find out that after a couple of weeks, she decided to go out with her girlfriends and get drunk and ended up sleeping with a guy, or she decided to get on dating apps and had gone on a bunch of dates.
In most cases, the woman then says that she is enjoying single life and doesn’t want to get back together.
This is why, if you want your ex girlfriend back, you shouldn’t wait too long to make it happen.
As the old saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.”
The longer you wait, the less you will be on her mind and without you around, she will naturally start to feel attracted to new men.
Like other women, she has sexual urges and sometimes feels horny and if you’re not around to satisfy that urge, then she will open herself to being with a new man instead.
So, if you want your ex to feel attached to you again and to feel attracted to you, then make it happen.
Interact with her in the next few days and reawaken her feelings for you (e.g. being confident and emotionally masculine, using humor to make her feel relaxed in your presence, making her feel feminine and girly, flirting with her, being a bit of a challenge in a playful way as you talk to her).
When her feelings have been reactivated, she will naturally open up to being your girlfriend again, or at least hooking up with you to see what happens after that.
So, don’t waste another day avoiding her.
Call her or meet up with her as soon as possible, reactivate her feelings and get her back.
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