The following No Contact Rule success stories are from men who gave their woman 3 to 7 days of no contact after a break up.
Ever since I started helping men get women back, I’ve never recommended giving more than 3 to 7 days of space to a woman after a break up, before a man begins the actual ex back process.
The reason why is that, generally speaking, the 30 day No Contact Rule works differently on men than it does on women.
For example: If a woman immediately accepts a break up and doesn’t contact her ex guy for 30 to 60 days, it works much better for her, because men like to feel like they have some ownership over a woman.
When a guy doesn’t hear from his ex woman after dumping her, he may begin to feel like he has been rejected and then contact her to see if she is still missing him.
Additionally, a lot of guys really struggle to approach, attract and pick up new women.
So, when his ex uses No Contact after a break up and he isn’t getting any action from new women, he starts to miss her.
However, the same doesn’t apply to women.
Most women feel abandoned when a guy ignores her for a long time, so her natural instinct is to go out and find herself a new protector.
Also, most women can quickly and easily find a new man to hook up with, date and get into a relationship with after a break up.
So, when a guy ignores his ex after a break up, she usually just moves on without him.
This is why, if you intend to use the No Contact Rule to get your ex back, make sure you only ignore her for 3 to 7 days.
Any longer than that and you risk her getting over you and moving on.
By the way…
Here are 3 No Contact Rule success stories based on a guy giving his ex woman no more than a week of space, before beginning the ex back process to get her back:
1. He accepted the break up, cut off contact for 3 days, called her, arranged a meet up and got her back
In this scenario, the guy made sure that he reacted to the break up in an emotionally strong and mature way by saying something along the lines of, “Of course, I don’t want us to break up, but I accept your decision and I won’t make things difficult for you. I just want you to know that I do care for you and I hope one day in the near future we can at least be friends again. Take care of yourself. Bye.”
By not reacting to the break up in a needy, clingy, or desperate way, he automatically began sparking her feelings of respect for him again, without her even realizing it.
He then gave her 3 days of space where he didn’t text her, message her on social media, call her on the phone or see her in person.
After the 3 days, he called her on the phone and instead of saying things like, “I miss you so much! Please can we meet up? I really need to see you,” which almost certainly would have turned her off and caused her to say “No,” he instead used some humor to ease the tension between them and make her laugh, smile and feel relaxed to be talking to him again.
Then after a few minutes of relaxed conversation where he focused on sparking her feelings of respect and attraction (e.g. by continuing to make her laugh and smile, by maintaining his confidence regardless of what she said to make him feel unsure of himself), he asked her to meet up with him for a quick cup of coffee.
Initially she said “No,” because she didn’t want to come across as being too easy, but he remained calm and confident and didn’t give up and she then said, “Yes.”
At the meet up, he continued to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for him, by showing her via his attitude, action, behavior and the way he interacted with her that he had changed and improved as a man.
When she realized that he was at a different level as a man than he was when they broke up, her defenses began to crumble.
She felt drawn to him in a new and exciting way and decided to explore those feeling by giving the relationship another chance.
In the next No Contact Rule success story…
2. He cut off contact for a week, she called him on the 8th day and they met up and got back together
Rather than lose control of himself and begin behaving in unattractive ways that would cause his woman to lose even more respect and attraction for him (e.g. beg, plead, cry, promise to change, ask her to tell him what she wants him to change, tell her about his feelings), the guy instead kept control of his emotions and walked away from the relationship with his head held high.
From there, he didn’t make any effort to contact his ex.
Instead, he used the time apart to:
- Improve his ability to attract her (e.g. by becoming more confident, emotionally strong, emotionally independent, assertive, mature).
- Build a strong belief in his value and attractiveness to her.
- Spend some time doing things that make him feel happy and content without her (e.g. focus on his goals, hang out with friends, do something he always wanted to do but didn’t because he was too focused on his relationship).
This helped take his mind of his ex and prevented him from sitting around feeling sad, lonely and hopeless (i.e. because he knew he was taking positive steps to become a better man so that he can re-attract her).
Of course, by not contacting his ex during this time, it made her start missing him and begin wondering things like, “I wonder what he’s up to? Maybe he’s met a new woman already and is moving on.”
So, after 8 days of not hearing from him, she decided to call him to see why he has been ignoring her.
On the call, he focused on making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to him again.
He made sure to flirt with her to create some sexual tension between them and to make it clear to her that he’s still interested in her, rather than act nice and sweet and neutral and make her feel like he only wants to be her platonic friend.
He then asked her to meet up with him and she agreed.
At the meet up, he showed her that he had transformed himself into the kind of man that she could now look up to, respect and feel attracted to (e.g. confident, emotionally masculine, assertive, driven).
He also continued to build up the sexual tension between them.
He then progressed to giving her a hug and when she didn’t pull away, he gave her a kiss as well.
From there, they went back to his place and hooked up sexually.
She then naturally began to fall back in love with him and they got back together again.
In the next No Contact Rule success story…
3. He called her to say he accepted the break up and wished her well. He re-attracted her on the call and then ended it. She contacted him 6 days later
Just like in the previous No Contact Rule success stories, the guy didn’t cause a big scene when the break up happened.
Instead, he remained calm and confident, knowing that he could easily re-attract her with the right approach.
He then called her on the phone and said something like, “Hey, I know that you don’t want me to contact you right now because you’re worried I’m going to try and change your mind. However, I want you to know… I completely accept that we’re broken up and I promise not to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want.”
By saying that to her, he let her know (without actually saying the words) that he wasn’t going to sit around feeling sad and depressed and put his life on hold, just because they had broken up.
This made her feel a surge of respect for him again (i.e. because he was being a real man, rather than a pushover).
He then said something along the lines of, “Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. I wish you all the best and I hope you will be happy. Take care of yourself. Bye,” and then hung up, after she said “Bye,” to him too.
He then didn’t contact her again (not even to send her a text to say hello).
In the meantime, she couldn’t stop thinking about him and how mature and emotionally strong he had been with her over the phone.
The more she thought about that, the more respect she felt for him.
Soon, she began to feel sparks of attraction too.
After 6 days of missing him and worrying about him moving on, she decided to call him to see what happens.
On the call, he sparked her feelings even more (e.g. by using humor to make her feel at ease, flirting with her to create a sexual vibe, showing her via his attitude, the tonality of his voice and the way he responds to her that he’s a new man now).
She then started to believe that things really were different, so she was able to open back up to the idea of being his girl again.
They then got back together and discovered that their relationship was even better this time around.
5 Problems to Be Aware of When Using the No Contact Rule
Before you decide if you want to use the No Contact Rule to get your ex back (i.e. ignore her for 30 to 60 days), make sure you’re clear on some of the problems that might encounter when you do.
For example:
1. Assuming that what works on a man will work on a woman in exactly the same way
As mentioned earlier, men and women respond to No Contact in two very different ways and the reason is, men and women break up for very different reasons.
For example: When a guy breaks up with a woman, it’s usually because she’s been behaving badly, disrespecting him in some ways and generally being a pain in the butt.
So, to teach her a lesson, he might decide to break up with her.
Basically, he’s hoping that she will panic, change her behavior and come running back to him.
They can then get back together into a relationship where she now behaves herself.
However, if she doesn’t come back to him and decides to use the No Contact Rule instead, the guy will likely be the one who starts to panic.
He might imagine her going out to clubs, bars or parties with her single friends, meeting new guys and possibly hooking up with them sexually.
Meanwhile, he’s sitting around missing her and waiting for her to come back to him.
So, what does he do?
In most situations, a guy will quickly break No Contact and text, call or meet up with his ex and she’ll be able to get him back.
However, when it comes to a man using the No Contact Rule on a woman, things are different.
In almost all cases, a woman will break up with a guy because somewhere along the line he has eroded her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
He has been turning her off by thinking, acting and behaving in unattractive ways and she no longer feels the way she wants to feel when she’s with him.
So, if he then tries to get her back by using the No Contact Rule, rather than make her come back to him, she actually feels relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with a desperate ex and moves on instead.
Another problem to be aware of when using the No Contact Rule to get your ex back…
2. Cutting off contact for so long that she moves on
Most guys don’t realize that ignoring an ex woman for 3 to 7 days is long enough to get the results they’re hoping for (i.e. she calms down, misses him and opens up to the idea of interacting with him again to see what happens), so they end up going the full 30, or even 60 days of No Contact.
A guy like that usually thinks something along the lines of, “My case is different. My ex really hates me now, so if I try to call her after 3 to 7 days, she most-likely won’t answer her phone. I think waiting for a few weeks, or even months, is better, because it will give her enough time to calm down and not be so angry and defensive all the time. She might also miss me a little bit and then when I contact her she will be more open to talking to me and working things out.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
The only thing 30 or 60 days is long enough for, is for her to meet new guys, have sex and fall in love again with someone else.
Remember: When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she’s lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, when he doesn’t contact her, rather than think things like, “Why is he ignoring me? What’s going on? Doesn’t he care about me anymore? I need to phone him right away before I lose him for real,” she will likely think something along the lines of, “Well this was easier than I thought. I’m so relieved that I don’t have to deal with a needy, desperate ex. Now I can move on and live my life in peace.”
Even when a woman does miss her ex and wants to get back with him, when he ignores her for so long, she begins to feel hurt and like he doesn’t care.
So, instead of running back to him, she forces herself to fully get over him and move on.
Either way, he ends up losing out on getting her back.
This is why, if you don’t want that to happen to you, don’t take too long to start the ex back process with your ex, because you might end up regretting it.
Another problem to be aware of when using the No Contact Rule to get your ex back…
3. Not preparing to re-attract her when he does contact her
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make when using the No Contact Rule, is to spend all that time that they’re ignoring their ex, just thinking about how much they miss her and not improving at all.
For example: A guy who was too needy and clingy will sit around feeling sad and thinking things like, “I miss her so much. I can’t wait for these 30/60 days to be over so that I can hear her sweet voice again. I just can’t live without her.”
Then, when he finally does contact her and she picks up that he’s still the same needy, clingy guy she broke up with, rather than open up to giving him another chance, she usually just says something like, “Sorry, but nothing has changed since we last spoke. I told you that it’s over and I meant it. Now please accept it and move on.”
He’s then left feeling devastated and wondering why the No Contact Rule didn’t work.
The answer is, he didn’t change or improve.
So, instead of using the time apart to become more emotionally independent (e.g. by pursuing his own goals and dreams, taking up a hobby or interest, reconnecting with his old friends), he stayed stuck at the same level he was at when they broke up.
She then sees that and obviously doesn’t want him back.
This is why it’s so important that you use your No Contact time wisely and prepare to re-attract your ex in the ways that are important to her.
When she sees that you’ve really put in the effort to become a better man, she will naturally feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
It then becomes easy for you to fully reactivate her feelings and get her back.
Another problem to be aware of when using the No Contact Rule to get your ex back…
4. Reaching out via text and giving up if she doesn’t seem very interested
When a woman hasn’t heard from her ex for quite some time, chances are high, she’s not going to sound very happy to hear from him the first time he contacts her. Why?
Each woman has her reasons, but the most common ones are:
- She doesn’t want to let on that she’s actually been missing him.
- She doesn’t want to make it easy for him to get her back.
- She wants to test his confidence and see if he has the courage to keep pursuing her, even though she’s being cold and distant.
- She feels hurt that he took so long to get in touch with her and she’s now trying to teach him a lesson.
Here’s the thing though…
Regardless of why your ex doesn’t seem very enthusiastic to hear from you, don’t give up too quickly and end up missing out on your chance of getting back with her.
Instead, believe in yourself and in your value to her and don’t give up if she doesn’t make it super easy for you right away.
Remain confident, reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.
Another problem to be aware of when using the No Contact Rule to get your ex back…
5. Assuming that she will be willing to put in the effort to contact him and get him back, just because he didn’t contact her after the break up
Regardless of whether a woman has lost touch with her feelings for her ex, or is secretly still hoping for a reconciliation with him, she’s usually not going to be the one to make the first move.
Instead, she’s going to continue moving on without him, until she finally hooks up with a new man, or he takes the lead and does what he needs to do to get her back.
Here’s the thing…
As the man, it’s up to you to be emotionally strong enough to handle the ex back process and guide her back into a relationship.
You can’t rely on your ex to be the strong one and make everything happen for you and her.
So, stop waiting for something to happen (i.e. for her to come running back to you) just because you’re ignoring her and take control of the ex back process and get her back.
You need to be a man about it.
Take the first step to getting her back.
Before you know it, you and her will be in bed together, hugging, kissing and feeling that love you used to feel for each other.
This time though, it will feel even more exciting because you will have leveled up and will be attracting her in new ways that make her want you and only you.
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