People break up and get back together all the time, but what a lot of people don’t know is that getting back together can be one of the most amazing feelings that a couple can ever experience.
Why?
Here are 4 reasons why love actually becomes stronger when you reignite it after a break up…
1. The Love is More Mature
At the beginning of a relationship, everything is usually new and fresh and filled with the euphoria of lust and a new spark of love.
However, once the dust settles and the initial thrill of being with someone completely new wears off, reality sinks in and this is when a lot of couples break up.
For example: A couple might get into a power struggle.
To see if she can gain power over her man, the woman might pull back her interest, throw tantrums or act like she isn’t interested in sex to see how he will react.
If the guy responds by becoming desperate and trying to hold on to her even more (e.g. becoming clingy, needy and insecure, asking her what she wants him to do to make her happy), she will gain power over him and begin to lose respect and attraction for him.
If the power gap becomes too wide, she will eventually get tired of having a guy that she feels so much more valuable than, so she might cheat on him or dump him.
In some cases, that is the end of the relationship and the couple never sees each other again because the guy thinks that it’s impossible to get her back, or he messes up the ex back process by making classic mistakes (e.g. ignoring her and hoping she comes back, begging and pleading for another chance).
Yet, there are also couples who not only get back together, but also manage to make the love even stronger than it was before.
They become completely intoxicated and overwhelmed by how much they love each other now that they are getting back together and are then back together.
So, why is that? Why does the love become stronger when you reignite it after a break up?
One of the reasons why is that the love is more mature.
When the man improves himself and goes beyond the level that he was at when she broke up with him, it’s a much more mature, enjoyable relationship for both him and the woman.
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For example: A guy who was insecure in the relationship and became needy and clingy, can now reach a new level of manhood by becoming more confident and emotionally strong.
Rather than becoming insecure when she tests his confidence (e.g. by acting like she isn’t interested, putting him down), he doesn’t let it affect him.
He knows that a woman might behave in unpredictable ways to test his confidence, so he remains strong and as a result, she feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
Another example of a test is where a woman becomes emotional and throws tantrums to see how he will react.
In the past, her tantrums might have caused him to become upset, angry or uncertain about their relationship.
Yet, now he understands that she just needs him to be an emotionally strong, masculine man and not get sucked into the drama that she is creating.
He just remains calm and often even laughs at her dramatic behavior because it’s just not something that he takes seriously anymore.
…and she really likes that about him now.
When she realizes that she is now with a confident, emotionally secure man who loves her and wants her in his life, but doesn’t need her to be gentle with him because he is so emotionally sensitive, it makes her feel an increased amount of respect, attraction and love for him.
She realizes that his emotional sensitive has been replaced by emotionally strength, which is highly attractive to her.
Her love for him is now deeper, more meaningful and interesting than ever before because he is such a better man than now compared to how he was when she broke up with him.
By breaking up and getting back together again at a new level, a woman has seen the worst and now best side of her man.
By loving her enough to change and improve as a man, there is now a deeper maturity and trust in the relationship and they both feel closer and more connected that ever.
There is a great story behind their relationship and it’s something worth holding onto because it feels so good to be around each other now.
It’s like the man has hit the “reset” button in her mind and she now sees him as a completely new, improved man, rather than looking at his faults and thinking about all the mistakes he made.
She has completely forgiven all of that because he is now the kind of man that she can truly, deeply love for life.
Another reason why the love becomes stronger when you reignite it after a break up is that…
2. You’re Now Giving Her the Attraction Experience That She Really Wants in a Relationship
A woman rarely breaks up with a man for no good reason at all.
Of course, sometimes a relationship might just fizzle out because neither the man nor the woman really care about each other and are happier just to end it and find someone new.
Yet, in most cases, for a woman to get to the point where she decides to break up with her guy, it will usually happen after a long time of trying to get him to change and give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants.
For example: A woman might feel that her guy is too timid and doesn’t like to take the lead with her or in other areas of his life.
She may then try to encourage him to be more assertive and decisive, by saying things like, “Why don’t you decide where we should invest our savings? Why do you keep worrying all the time? Just fix it” or “You should stand up to your boss when he makes you work late. You also have other commitments in your life. Don’t let him push you around like that,” or even “I’m tired of always making the decisions around here! Why don’t you decide for a change?”
What she wants is for him to be more of a man and have the balls to stand up to her and others in his life.
If the guy doesn’t pick up on her hints and just carries on behaving in the same unattractive way around her, she will usually get to the point where she decides to just break up with him.
However, after the break up, if the guy can then make some quick changes and improve his ability to give her the kind of attraction she really wants, she will pay attention and be interested again, even if she doesn’t initially want to be.
For example: Some of the ways that a guy might change to give a woman the kind of attraction experience that was lacking in their unique relationship include:
- He makes her feel feminine and girly in his presence, rather than making her feel like a friend or “one of the guys.”
- He makes her feel heard and understood, rather than overlooking what she says or feels like he used to.
- He makes her smile, laugh and feel happy to be around him again, rather than getting into stressful arguments and having annoying, deep and meaningful conversations all the time.
- He reacts differently to what she says and does (e.g. he stands up to her if she’s being pushy, doesn’t get upset when she is being overly emotional).
- He takes the lead in the relationship thus allowing her to relax into being totally feminine around him, rather than expecting her to be 50/50 with him or to take the lead and guide him.
- He maintains and builds on the respect, love and attraction between him and her over time, rather than taking her feelings for him for granted.
She then feels happy and like she can now look up to him and respect him as her man and the love between them becomes stronger than it was before.
3. You Appreciate Each Other So Much More Than Before
There’s a line from an old song in the 1960s that says, “You don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it.”
That’s an old school song, but its truth is timeless.
Sometimes, a guy will take his woman for granted and not treat her as well as he did at the start.
She then dumps him and he panics and realizes that he’s just lost the best thing that ever happened to him.
Yet, she’s not lost forever.
You CAN get your woman back, even if you and her went through a messy break up or if she said that she never wants anything to do with you again.
The reason why you can get her back is that feelings CAN and DO change.
If your ex’s feelings haven’t changed yet and she hasn’t come running back, you can MAKE HER have feelings for you again.
Then, when you get back together, both you and her will experience a more mature, exciting and deep love that you will appreciate on a completely new level.
You will appreciate each other and the unique dynamic between you so much more than you ever did.
It will feel like both of you are so lucky to have gotten back together and would have been silly to let each other go and not give it another shot.
For example: Sometimes, when a guy and a woman break up, they might then go out and date other people in an attempt to move on.
Yet, what often happens is that even though a rebound relationship might feel great at the start, the reality eventually begins to appear and their flaws begin to become more obvious.
For example: If she breaks up with you because you weren’t treating her well, she will most likely rebound with a guy who treats her like a princess.
Yet, after a while, she will realize that the reason he treats her so well is that he is insecure about his attractiveness and value to her and is secretly doesn’t feel like he deserves a woman of her quality.
She then begins to feel turned off by his insecurity and feels like she is in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t deserve her.
She then remembers that you were so much more confident than him and begins to think about you in a positive light and wonder why she just doesn’t give you another chance.
So, when a man and a woman get back together again (after a man has improved his ability to give her the attraction experience she really wants), the love between them becomes stronger than ever before.
They have both seen what’s out there and have come to the realization that the grass isn’t greener on the other side and they are actually more suited to each other than they previously imagined.
On the other hand, a couple might not have dated anyone else after the break up, but being apart made them realize that they were meant to be together and that they were willing to put in the effort to resolve the issues in the relationship and make the love stronger.
So, they now appreciate each other more.
For example: Rather than get annoyed with her when she throws a tantrum, it doesn’t become a big deal anymore because he doesn’t take it so seriously.
The guy now appreciates that it’s part of her being an emotional woman and he can be a masculine man by allowing her to let off steam without making a big deal about it.
She then respects him for being strong enough to handle the random storms she creates (in the form of tantrums) and loves him more than ever before.
As for her, if he doesn’t call her or text her every day, she now realizes that it’s not because he’s taking her for granted, but rather because he’s busy and will get around to it when he gets the chance.
Essentially, love becomes stronger and more mature when you reignite it after a break up, because a couple now understands that no-one is perfect and that mistakes, arguments and disagreements will happen, but that isn’t a reason give up and walk away.
4. You Have Renewed Faith in Your Love Because it Has Endured a Break Up (or Multiple Break Ups) and is Now Stronger Than Ever
Surviving a break up (or multiple break ups) is a clear indication that your love is stronger than the problems in the relationship.
Relationships only truly fall apart when the man isn’t able to take charge and get things back on track to love, happiness and commitment.
For example: A guy might have become needy and insecure in his relationship with a woman, but rather than make an effort to become confident in the relationship, he instead puts the blame on his ex by saying things like, “It’s her fault. If she didn’t put her career / friends / family before me, we would still be together. All I ever did was shower her with love and attention. I even gave up my hobbies and friends for her and all she did was complain about feeling smothered. What do women want? They are so hard to please!”
Yet, by not being willing to accept responsibility for the fact that his insecurity and neediness turned her off, the chances of the relationship getting back together again are very slim.
On the other hand, when a guy makes some adjustments and improvements to his behavior (i.e. he becomes more confident and emotionally strong), her love for him will be stronger when they get back together.
His woman will think something like, “He must really love me to have made the effort to change and become a better man so quickly. If we can survive breaking up and getting back together again, it makes me believe that if something bad comes along in the future we will be able to overcome it and stay together. Our love is not only more mature now, but it’s getting stronger every day. So, there’s no point just turning my back on him. Maybe I owe this to myself to give it a shot. After all, I feel so much for him all of a sudden, so why not?”
This is what you want your ex thinking and feeling.
You need to make her realize that being with you is way better than being without you.
The fact is, when a couple sticks together rather than breaking up, the love, respect and attraction between them grows and deepens over time.
2 Mistakes That Prevent the Love From Coming Back Stronger Than Ever
For some couples, the love doesn’t come back stronger when they get back together.
Instead, the love fizzles out very quickly because the guy makes one or both of the following mistakes…
1. He tries to get a woman back without changing and improving on the real reasons why she broke up with him.
If a guy doesn’t make some adjustments to his thinking, behavior and the way he talks and interacts with his ex woman, then getting her back becomes very difficult for him.
Even if a woman decides to give him another chance, if she then comes back and realizes that he’s still at the same level he was at when she broke up with him, she will just break up with him once again.
One of the main reasons why a guy doesn’t succeed in making the love stronger after a break up, is because he hasn’t figured out the real reasons why his woman broke up with him in the first place (or he decides to be lazy about it and not fix anything, but still want her back).
It’s fine to take that, “I don’t care approach” to the ex back process if you don’t really care about getting her back.
However, if you want her back for real, you have to sincerely care about what she secretly wants from you to be happy and stay with you.
For example:
- Does she want you to be more manly and ballsy with her?
- Does she want you to treat her better, but not go overboard and desperately try to impress her?
- Does she want you to take back the position of power in the relationship, or start allowing her to have a little more power?
- Does she hate it how she can make you feel insecure so easily, or are you way too arrogant and confident around her to the point that she feels inferior to you?
Here’s the thing…
Whatever your woman really wants, she probably won’t tell you the uncensored version that will really make her happy.
She’ll say things like, “I don’t know…maybe I just need some space to figure myself out” or, “I don’t have feelings for you anymore. Maybe I just need to be alone for a while” or, “Look, I appreciate how much you love me and care about me, but I just can’t do this anymore.”
Yet, that doesn’t tell a guy what he needs to do to get her back.
She’s just talking in vague terms about herself and isn’t telling him what will actually make her change her mind.
As a result, he’s usually offering her the wrong things (e.g. being nicer when she wants him to be ballsier) and then wondering, “Why isn’t this working? Why isn’t she giving me another chance?”
So, if you want to make the love between you and an ex stronger, you need to change what she secretly wants you to change, not what you think she wants you to change.
For example: Some of the things that women are usually too afraid to tell men include:
- He is insecure about his value to her and it makes her feel like she could do better than him.
- He is clingy and needy, which makes her feel like his mother and like he needs to be taken care of.
- He takes her for granted and just expect her to put up with his bad treatment of her.
- He doesn’t know how to make her feel feminine and girly around him, so she ends up feeling neutral or worse, like she is more dominant and powerful than him.
- He is jealous and controlling, which she knows stems from his insecurity about being able to attract high quality women, so she feels like she is doing him a favor by being with him.
- He has no clear purpose and direction in his life and he has made her his main reason for living, which makes her feel unsafe because she’s with a guy who is afraid of reaching for his true potential in life.
- He is too emotionally sensitive, so she has to be gentle with him otherwise he gets angry or insecure.
Can you relate to any of these possible reasons why your woman might have broken up with you?
If you answered yes, then you now have an idea of what you need to change about yourself to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you and get her back into a relationship that is even better than before.
Another mistake that some guys make, which prevents the love from being stronger when they get back with their woman is…
2. He doesn’t know how to deepen the love, so it quickly becomes boring or uninspiring
For a relationship to last, mutual love, respect and appreciation must be deepened over time, rather than just taking those feelings for granted and expecting them to remain.
Sometimes, a guy will be all fun and excitement in the initial stages of his relationship with a woman (e.g. taking her out on dates, putting in effort when having sex with her, being a man she can rely on), but after a while, the sizzle goes out and life becomes dreary, boring and predictable (e.g. going to the movies and dinner every Friday night, visiting family once a week, taking her love and commitment to him for granted as he lazes on the couch watching TV or playing video games most weekends).
If a relationship is only about you and your woman hanging out together and doing the same things over and over again, doing the chores and paying bills, she might begin to feel bored, restless and as though she is with a guy who just expects her to remember how good she felt at the start and stick around for life because of that.
That approach worked 100-150 years ago, but not today.
Today, women can leave a men if they find themselves in a dead or dying relationship, so you need to keep the spark alive.
Don’t worry, it’s easy to do.
I know that it might sound like a lot of hard work, but it’s simple, natural and easy.
I know this because I’m happily married and can tell you from personal experience that it’s so easy to keep a woman happy, in love and attracted to you for life.
So, if you want to get your ex back, just know that your relationship with her is going to be better than ever before.
You and her are going to feel such a strong love for each other that it will literally make your heart rush with happiness, contentment and fulfillment.
When you make her feel that way, she is not going to want to break up with you ever again.
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