Some of the reasons why your ex might keep texting you are that…
1. She Wants to Check if You’re Moving On Without Her
Sometimes a woman will worry that her ex man will hook up with another woman and move on before she’s had a chance to hook up with another guy first.
So, to keep tabs on him, she will continue texting him and asking things like, “Hey, what are you up to today?” or “How’ve you been? Are you seeing someone else yet?” or, “How was your day?”
She’s essentially trying to find out if she still has time to move on before he does.
2. To Boost Her Self Esteem
A woman will often enjoy knowing that even though she’s no longer interested in her ex, he on the other hand still thinks about her, misses her and wants her back.
So, she will keep texting him and allowing him to possibly tell her about how much he still cares abut her, which she will then use to feel good about herself.
She will go out into the world and feel confident that she is in the position of power, she is loveable and that her ex wishes he could get another chance with her.
This then allows her to feel good about herself when she meets new guys or goes on dates.
3. She Still Misses You, Even Though She Doesn’t Admit it
In most cases, a woman will continue to miss her ex from time to time, even though she won’t openly admit it to him.
For example: She might think to herself, “I miss the way he used to look at me when we were together,” or “I miss how good it felt to be in his arms” or “I miss having a boyfriend.”
Yet, in most cases a woman won’t admit it to her guy. Why?
Some of her reasons might be because…
- She does miss him, but she doesn’t really feel like it’s a good idea to get back with him (i.e. because he probably hasn’t changed).
- She doesn’t want to make it obvious that he has a chance with her because she’s embarrassed about looking uncool, needy, lonely or unattractive.
- She misses him, but she doesn’t believe that he give her the attraction experience she really wants.
- She’s afraid that he might make her fall in love with him again and then break up with her to get revenge for dumping him and breaking his heart.
- She doesn’t want to make it easy for him to get her back because she wants to see if he has the confidence to do it without her help and reassurance.
So, there’s a good chance that your ex is missing you if she’s continuing to text.
This is why I always recommend that a guy take control when getting his ex woman back, rather than waiting and hoping that she does it.
In most cases, a woman will wait and hope that her ex has the courage and skill to get her back, but if he doesn’t, she will just try to move on.
Another reason why your ex might still be texting you is…
4. To Give You Hope That She Might Want You Back, So She Can Eventually Break Your Heart By Saying That She’s in Love With Another Guy
Sometimes a woman might feel angry or bitter about the break up with her ex.
Then, to get revenge, she might string him along for a while by texting him back and forth, in the hopes that he will believe she is considering getting back together again.
When he’s fully back in love with her and stops moving on with his life, she can then quickly hook up with another guy and let him know that she is no longer available.
When he is shocked and disappointed, she can then say something like, “Did you really think we would get back together again? I told you it was over. Anyway, I’m in love with another guy now and he treats me like a princess. He’s not a jerk like you were to me. It’s over. Bye,” to hurt him for causing her pain.
You Have to Be Confident Enough to Guide Her Back Into a Relationship
Don’t waste time looking for hidden meanings in her texts, or waiting around her to give you a clear go ahead by saying something like, “Call me! Let’s get back together. I love you.”
That would be nice and it probably happens to about 1% of guys, but hoping for that is like hoping to win the lottery.
What you need to do instead (to have at least an 80% chance of getting her back, based on all the cases I’ve dealt with) is reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction, whenever you interact with her (e.g. via text, e-mail, on social media, on a phone call, or in person).
Then, confidently guide her back into a relationship.
That’s what works.
Where some guys go wrong is by getting caught up in a cycle of texting an ex woman for weeks or months and not meeting up with her to actually get her back.
When a guy get stuck in that cycle, he will often make some or all of the following mistakes…
1. He only texts her like a friend and doesn’t include any flirting
For example: He might pretend that he’s only interested in being her neutral friend by being on his best behavior when he interacts with her and avoiding any flirting.
He will hope that it makes her feel comfortable and not feel pressured into getting back together with him.
Yet, in most cases, rather than make a woman think, “Wow, my ex is being so sweet. He’s being such a reliable friend and he’s not even pushing me to get back together again. He is so sensitive and nice and considerate of my feelings. That’s just so attractive to me. Maybe we should get back together again,” she won’t be feeling attracted, so she will just move on with her life and hook up with a guy who actually flirts with her and makes her feel attracted.
So, don’t do that to yourself.
If you want to get your ex back, don’t make the mistake of acting like a good friend who isn’t allowed to flirt with her and make her feel attracted again.
By all means, be her friend, but just don’t be an innocent, reliable, neutral friend.
Watch this video to understand what I mean…
If you are going to be friends with your ex, you need to make sure that you’re using every interaction you have with her (via text and especially on the phone and in person) to actively make her feel respect and sexual attraction for you again.
Don’t pretend that you don’t find her sexually attractive anymore, or that you’re not interested in getting her back.
If you only focus on making her feel neutral, friendly feelings for you, she probably won’t see any reason why she shouldn’t hook up with another guy instead.
She may even say to herself, “Now I have the best of both worlds…a nice, sweet friendly ex that I can rely on if I ever need someone to talk to and a sexy new guy that I can have sex with and fall in love with. Ahh, life is good.”
So, make sure that you flirt with her and make her feel attracted, rather than acting like you’re just a friend now.
2. He instantly replies to all of her texts no matter what time of day or night it is
When a guy is desperate to get his ex back, he will usually try to be on his best behavior when he interacts with her.
We will try to avoid saying or doing something that might annoy her.
So, whenever she sends him a text, he may think, “I need to get back to her right away. I don’t want to take too long and give her the impression that she’s not important to me, or that I’m out with another woman. I don’t want to blow my chance with her.”
He will then text her back immediately regardless of whether it’s night or day, or if he’s busy or not.
He’s hoping that she will think, “Wow, I’m so lucky. My ex must really care about me. Look how quickly he responds to texts. He must be dropping whatever he’s busy with just to get back to me… that’s just so sweet of him.”
Yet, in most cases, she’s thinking something like, “Weird. Doesn’t he have a life? It seems that all he’s doing is sitting around waiting for me to text him. When does he hang out with friends, or focus on work, or actually do anything else other than rush to text me back?”
She then feels turned off by what she perceives as his desperate, needy behavior.
She may continue to text him to lead him on until she finds another guy, but she will definitely be feeling turned off by his snap replies to her every text.
So, no matter how badly you want to instantly respond to everything your ex texts you, just don’t do it.
If you’re at work, driving, or out with friends, simply wait until you’re home and relaxing before you get back to her.
She’s not going to decide whether or not to ever give you another chance with her if you don’t get back to her immediately.
In fact, not responding instantly may even make her wonder, “What is my ex doing? I wonder if he’s with another woman,” and she might even feel a bit jealous about it, which is a good thing.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should ignore her for hours or days just so that you don’t come across as being needy, or worse, to try and make her jealous by talking about being with other women.
Why?
If you haven’t properly sparked her feelings for you yet, she will assume that you’re trying to mess with her head and make her miss you, which will cause her then to do the same back to you.
So, just mix things up between replying immediately, a few minutes later, hours later or even the next day if you can’t get to her text because you are busy.
Another ex back texting mistake that guys often make is…
3. He writes too much in his texts because he’s trying hard to impress her
Sometimes, a guy will hope that if he sends her a long text explaining to her what he’s been up to and how much he’s changed since the break up, she will be impressed and decide to give him another chance.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because she felt that he was stuck in his life, he might try to impress her by texting something like, “I have changed so much since we broke up. I’m really focusing on my work now and my boss is very impressed with my progress. He’s saying that there might even be a promotion coming my way soon. It’s really cool and I’m so excited about it. You always wanted me to do more with my life. Well now I’m doing it.”
He’s likely hoping she will say, “Well done. I’m so impressed with you now. Okay, now we can get back together again.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
If she has lost respect and attraction for him, she’s not going to instantly believe everything that he’s saying.
Instead, if she currently perceives him in a negative light (e.g. believes that he is insecure, lacks the kind of confidence she wants in a man) she’s likely just going to think that he’s desperately trying to impress her and she will feel turned off by him even more.
So, rather than try to impress your ex in a long text message, get her on a phone call instead.
Why?
On a phone call, she will be able to hear the tone of your voice, experience your confidence and assess your state of mind by listening to how you speak and noticing how you react to her.
I recommend that you only send your ex a quick text as a way of getting her on a phone call with you, where you can then actively make her laugh, smile and feel happy to be interacting with you again.
From there, get her to meet up with you in person and actively work on rebuilding her feelings of respect, trust and attraction for you via the way you talk, think, behave and interact with her.
When she can see for herself that you’re no longer the man she broke up with, her guard will naturally come down and you can then quickly guide her back into a relationship.
4. He thinks he can get her back by hiding behind texts
A guy might sometimes decide to play it safe by sticking to only texting his ex and never calling her.
He might think, “This is okay. At least my ex keeps texting me, so it’s not all bad. She must feel something for me, even if right now she says she doesn’t want me back. If I play my cards right and keep texting back and forth, she will probably let me know when she’s ready for me to call her up on the phone. Besides, I don’t want to make a mistake by calling her too soon and scaring her away. I’ll just stick with text.”
However, that ex back tactic rarely (if ever) works.
Why?
If a guy doesn’t do anything to actively spark a woman’s feelings for him on a phone call in person, she will often continue texting back and forth, while at the same time focusing on meeting a new guy to move on with.
In most cases, a woman won’t wait around for a guy when she doesn’t have feelings for him and he’s not doing anything to make her have feelings for him.
So, if your ex keeps texting you even though she doesn’t want you back, don’t wait for her to make it easy for you and tell you that she’s open to you calling her.
Instead, you need to be emotionally courageous enough to make the first move.
Remember: If you want her back, it’s up to you to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction and get her back.
Don’t expect her to take the lead.
To get an ex back, you need to be a man about it and lead the way.
So, stop the texting and get her on a phone call right away, where you can spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you again by making her laugh and smile.
The more you make her feel good when she’s interacting with you on a phone call and in person, the less she will hold on to her negative feelings for you.
She then drops her guard and then it’s up to you to guide her back into your life and into your arms again.
Then, rather than just texting, you’ll be kissing, having sex and enjoying each other’s love and company once again.
Even though it might feel safe to hide behind text, don’t do it.
Get her on a phone call and meet up with her in person.
That’s how to get her back for real.
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