Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman that you were really attracted to and really in love with?
You wanted the relationship to work, but it didn’t.
It fell apart.
No matter what you tried to do to fix the relationship and make it work, you couldn’t make it work.
You and her ended in a breakup.
If that has ever happened to you, or if you’re going through that at the moment with a woman, then it’s probably because of one of the following common relationship mistakes that lead to breakups.
1. Taking each other for granted
The relationships that you have seen, where a couple is still attracted to each other, in love and happy 30, 40, even 50 years into the relationship are the ones where they don’t take each other for granted.
They continue to love the other person, respect them and appreciate their presence in their life.
Unfortunately, what happens for a lot of guys is that they end up allowing their woman to take them for granted, or they make the mistake of taking her for granted.
So, to talk about the woman taking them for granted, this often happens when a guy is putting in more effort into the relationship than the woman is.
He’s trying hard to impress her and live up to her standards and she doesn’t feel the same motivation because she doesn’t feel attracted to him in the same kind of way.
A guy like that will find that no matter what he does for his woman, it’s never enough.
It never pleases her in the way that he wants it to please her.
In other words, she doesn’t look at him with the attraction, respect and love in her eyes.
She just sees him as a bit of a burden, a bit of a nuisance and she has to put up with him.
Now, sometimes that’s because the woman is a horrible woman who doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with him.
If that’s the case, then he should dump her.
However, it can also happen when the woman is a good woman and would treat her man well, but the man is creating a relationship dynamic that makes her feel like she is way more valuable than him, even though she isn’t.
They are equals, or he might even be a more valuable person than her and she should be feeling lucky to be with him.
Yet, based on his approach to the relationship where he is trying to win her love and hopefully, be good enough, it gives her a false sense of superiority over him and she ends up taking him for granted.
In other relationships, a guy doesn’t allow his woman to take him for granted, but he ends up taking her for granted.
He may have started out being a good guy, treating her well and making her feel loved and appreciated.
Yet, over time, he stops being the good guy that he was at the start and he begins to change.
He thinks, “She’s so in love with me, the sex is great, she’s lucky to have me. I can treat her however I want to. She just has to put up with it.”
In yet another example: A guy will start out being a good guy, continue being a good guy, but he will take his woman for granted in another way.
He will expect her to put up with the fact that he is becoming increasingly insecure, jealous and needy.
He’s still being good to her, but he’s becoming increasingly jealous, needy and insecure.
He expects her to put up with that and just understand that the reason why he’s being so insecure, jealous and needy is that he loves her so much.
She has to understand that.
She’s just got to deal with it.
Finally, in another example, a guy starts out being a good guy, continues being a good guy, doesn’t become insecure, jealous, or needy, but he doesn’t want to work on the relationship problems between them.
For example: There’s no spark between them anymore and he expects her to just put up with that.
From his perspective, he believes that relationships have a honeymoon period and that there’s no way for a couple to be attracted to each other and in love with each other 5, 10, 15, 20 years into a relationship.
Yet, the fact is, that it is possible and easy for a man and a woman to keep the spark alive and be in love for life.
Millions of couples all over the world are able to do it and many men and women know that.
They know that it’s possible.
They know that they can be happy and in love for life.
So, in today’s world and in the future, if a man or a woman finds themselves in a relationship where they’re being taken for granted, they can decide to leave the relationship, unlike in the past.
In the past, a couple had to get married and stay together for life, even if they were unhappy or miserable in the relationship.
They had to stay, even if they were being treated badly or being taken for granted.
They essentially had no choice because it was absolutely shameful to get divorced.
However, these days, relationships are a choice.
If a relationship works and the couple is happy and in love, they will gladly choose to remain together for life.
On the other hand, if a couple can’t figure out how to get their relationship to work, it will usually end in a breakup or a divorce regardless of how good things were in the beginning.
So, the solution is to create a relationship dynamic where neither of you take each other for granted.
Both of you continue to love each other, respect each other and appreciate each other’s presence in your life.
When both of you feel loved and appreciated, then it’s all good.
The relationship feels like a benefit to both of you rather than a burden.
Neither of you want to lose the other person.
You’re both in love with each other, you both feel appreciated and it’s all good.
Yet, when a relationship gets to a point where the man is taking the woman for granted, or the woman is taking the man for granted, or both of them are taking each other for granted, then the relationship is doomed to fail.
2. Ineffective communication
You may have heard that great communication is very important in a relationship.
That’s even a bit of an understatement.
It’s absolutely essential.
The way that you approach communication in your relationship can cause you and her to feel in love with each other and happy, or it can cause you and her to feel disconnected from each other, resentful, angry, annoyed and frustrated.
Ineffective communication can ruin a perfectly good relationship.
The couple was a great match, the relationship was working, but then they got into misunderstanding after misunderstanding and it led to arguments, disconnection and feelings of unhappiness in the relationship.
Some examples of ineffective communication are:
- Not addressing issues before they turn into a bigger problem. When issues aren’t addressed and they’re swept under the carpet and avoided, it can end up causing you and her to feel resentful towards each other and eventually blame each other for the problems in the relationship. As a result, you can end up getting into heated emotional arguments that didn’t need to happen.
- Bringing up issues at the wrong time. When you and her are arguing and you are feeling angry or irritated, it’s not the time to bring up lots of random things that she is doing wrong, that you don’t like about her, or that you would like her to improve on. It’s better to bring those things up in a lighthearted, easy-going way and even have a laugh about it with her when both of you are in a good mood, rather than unloading personal attacks on her when you happen to be feeling angry. If you tell her what she’s doing wrong, or what you’d like to improve when you and her are in a good mood and you do it in a lighthearted, easy-going way, then she is more likely to be open to improving yourself and even be able to have a laugh about herself and where she has been going wrong in the relationship.
- Not using a lighthearted, easy-going approach to communication. If one of you or both of you is way too serious about what the other person says, then it can end up feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around each other. Say one word wrong and an argument breaks out. It’s a stressful, unhappy experience. Yet, when both of you know that it’s perfectly fine not to take everything so seriously and you start getting used to being like that, you can quickly begin to build a relationship that is relaxing, loving and forgiving rather than stressful, hateful and unforgiving.
Okay, the next common relationship mistake that can lead to a breakup is…
3. Giving her too much power
This can often happen when a guy believes that if he lets his girlfriend or wife get her way more often than he gets his way, then she’s going to be happier.
This particular area of a relationship can be confusing for a lot of guys because many women will demand more power.
They will act as if they are unsatisfied with the amount of power they have in the relationship.
They’ll complain about things and expect a guy to do a lot for them, but it won’t actually be about wanting the power.
In most cases, it’s just going to be a test of the guy’s confidence and ability to be the dominant one in the relationship.
She wants to see whether or not he is going to submit to her will and start doing whatever she wants him to do in order to stay with her, or if he has the masculinity and the confidence to laugh at her when she’s out of line, to not take her seriously and to not crumble under her pressure.
The relationships that you see where the man is clearly still the man in the relationship and the woman is clearly still the woman, are the ones where the man remembers that the woman doesn’t need to be the more dominant one.
A relationship can exist where the woman is more dominant than the man, but it’s not going to be the most happy relationship on the planet.
Additionally, sex is going to be on her terms and he’s going to have to try to get her to want sex.
She’s going to be in the dominant position in the relationship, so she’s not going to feel good about submitting to him.
On the flip side, when the man maintains his dominance (or if he’s lost his dominance, he reclaims his dominance in the relationship), then a woman naturally feels good about submitting to him.
She naturally feels good when she touches him, when she hugs him, when she is close with him.
Unfortunately, what happens for some guys is that they get with a woman that they really love and they really feel attracted to, so they see her as being so special.
The guy wants to do everything for her and give everything to her because she’s so special to him.
Yet, in the process of behaving in that way, where he’s essentially doing whatever she wants and trying hard to make her happy, he ends up giving her too much power, which causes her to lose respect for his lack of dominance and masculinity in the relationship.
In cases like that, the woman usually ends up breaking up with the guy and saying that it’s not his fault, it’s her, not him, or that she loves him as a friend, but isn’t in love with him.
Alternatively, she says that wants some time to find herself and so on.
Essentially, what she’s saying is that she can’t look up to him and respect him as her man and as a result, she doesn’t feel that sexual romantic attraction for him.
By the way…
One thing to point out here, is that the solution here is not to take away all of a woman’s power and give her no power in the relationship and be completely dominant (i.e. tell her to sit, rollover, play dead, shake hands, good dog).
That approach doesn’t work either, unless, of course, the woman has some real issues and she likes to be treated in that way.
What works, is where the man and woman respect each other, they love each other and they appreciate each other, but the man is in the one up position in terms of dominance.
They are not equal.
The woman is not way down there.
The woman is not way up there.
The man is here, the woman is there in terms of dominance. (Watch video at the top of this page for a visual demonstration of this).
When the dominance levels are equal, they are going to feel more like friends so the sex is going to dry up.
When the woman is all the way down, sure, she’s going to feel some sexual attraction for a while, but she’s going to get sick of being treated in that way and she’s eventually going to leave.
When the woman is all the way up there in terms of dominance, she’s not going to feel good about submitting to a guy who isn’t more dominant than her.
When the man is in the one-up position in terms of dominance and the woman is here, then she’s going to feel loved, respected and appreciated.
She’s also going to feel really good about submitting to the dominant man that she is in love with, is attracted to, respects and appreciates.
4. Forgetting what is attractive to a woman
When in a relationship, a woman feels most attracted to you when she sees evidence of your confidence and emotional masculinity.
You can display this to her based on the way that you talk to her, touch her and how you generally behave and act around her.
Unfortunately, some guys tend to forget what is truly attractive to women and when they’re spending a lot of time with their girlfriend or wife, they end up adopting some of her behaviors, some of her mannerisms and some of her feminine ways of thinking and feeling.
Here’s a bit of an obvious example here to illustrate the point where a guy starts crying a lot like a woman, or when he’s watching TV with this woman, he’s scared and reacting to what he’s seeing on the TV and essentially behaving like a woman.
Now, not every guy goes to that extreme, of course.
Instead, what many guys do is they forget what is attractive to a woman, what actually sets off feelings of sexual attraction inside of her.
For example: He might forget that just because they’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that her attraction to confidence goes away.
So, if he becomes insecure and stops being the confident guy that she initially fell for, then she’s naturally going to start losing attraction for him.
Now, some guys might ask, “Well, what about women? Sometimes women put on weight in a relationship and they stop making themselves look physically attractive for their men. They forget what is attractive to a man.”
Well, if you want your woman to feel motivated to make yourself look attractive to you, then you’ve got to make sure that she is actually feeling attracted to you, so she feels like she’s got something to lose.
She’s got to be able to see that you’re the sort of guy (i.e. confident, able to flirt, able to make her feel attraction as you’re talking to her, not a pushover) who could easily attract another woman because you know what is attractive to a woman.
She knows that if you and her were to break up, you would easily be able to attract another woman and she would end up feeling hurt and left behind as a result.
She then feels the motivation to make herself look attractive to you, so she doesn’t lose you.
As a result, what happens is that both of you are being attractive to each other, so both of you feel attracted and both of you feel good about the relationship.
5. Trying to suppress the other person’s emotional development
This can often happen when a guy gets into a relationship with a woman who was shy and a bit unsure of herself at the start, but over time, she becomes more and more confident.
She starts to believe in herself.
She gets to the point where she has the confidence to say, “No” to him and the confidence to feel good about herself without needing him to make her feel good about herself.
She starts becoming independently confident.
She’s no longer fully reliant on his words and actions to make herself feel worthy and confident as a woman.
As a result, her behavior will start to change.
She will stop being as needy as she was at the start.
Now, some guys are able to develop along with that and not worry that she’s no longer being as needy as she was at the start.
The guy still believes in his attractiveness to her.
He maintains his confidence and he loves the fact that she is growing up and becoming more confident as his woman.
Yet, for some guys, they don’t like it when a woman starts becoming more emotionally independent and independently confident.
The guy complains that she no longer makes him feel loved in the way that she used to.
She has changed and she seems selfish now to him.
If the man can’t deal with her developments as an individual and tries to hold her back emotionally, then they will get into continuous arguments.
Eventually, she will start to feel like a break up is necessary.
On the other hand, when a man is able to continue developing emotionally and ideally, is able to surpass his woman and become more confident and emotionally secure than her, then she feels a deep respect, attraction and love for him.
He becomes the man that she looks up to and respects, which causes her to treat him better, trust in him, be more loving and affectionate and want to impress him so she doesn’t lose him.
As a result, both the man and the woman enjoy a better relationship experience and neither of them wanted to end.
Learn More?
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more about how to increase your woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love over time, then I recommend that you watch or listen to my program, Make Her Love You For Life.
When you watch or listen to the program, you will learn communication and attraction techniques that I don’t teach on YouTube.
These techniques bring you and her closer and closer together.
Your feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love increase over time.
Both you and her fall more in love and you enjoy the relationship more and more over time.
Building a Relationship That Works, Lasts and Makes Both of You Happy
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that your relationship with a woman can either be one of the things that causes you to feel so happy and fulfilled by life, or it can be one of the things that causes you to feel a lot of frustration, stress and unhappiness in life.
It really depends on how you approach it.
Now, the thing is there are some women out there who are horrible women and don’t deserve to be in a relationship with you.
If you get into a relationship with a woman like that or you’re in a relationship with a woman like that, dump her and find a new one.
However, if you’re in a relationship with a good woman that you love and feel attracted to, then you can make the relationship last for life.
You can create a relationship dynamic where both you and her feel increasingly respectful, attracted and in love with each other over time.
When you create a relationship dynamic where both you and the woman are in love with each other, respect each other and feel attracted to each other, then you and her can go on to experience an amazing life together.
Both of you feel confident in the relationship and you know that it’s going to work.
You and her are going to last, so you have the security of knowing that you can build a future together and a life of happy memories that you’re going to cherish.
Alternatively, you can get into a relationship with a woman that you feel attracted to and you love and you can potentially make one of the many common relationship mistakes that end up leading to a breakup.
It really depends on how you approach it.
As I said, some women out there are horrible women and you shouldn’t try to make a relationship work with them, but if you find yourself in a relationship with a good woman that you love and feel attracted to, then you can create a relationship dynamic that makes both you and her feel increasingly respectful, attracted and in love with each other over time.
As a result, there’s no need for a breakup.
Instead, you go on and enjoy your life together.
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