If your ex wife has been repeatedly getting back with you, only to break up with you once again, then you have a perfect opportunity to stop the cycle and get her back for good.
Unfortunately, a lot of men are confused by the cycle of showing interest and then leaving, which can then lead to a man making one or more of the following mistakes that turn her off and make her want to be with other men:
1. Showing her that it’s stressing him out
Essentially, he lets her see that he can’t deal with being broken up with again and again and it’s really starting to wear him down and stress him out.
However, showing her that doesn’t help and just pushes her away further.
She feels pressured to stay with him to stop causing him anxiety, even if she doesn’t feel like it’s best for her.
So, the relationship then feels more like a burden, than a benefit to her and she feels more motivated to be on her own, or find a man who doesn’t make her feel that way.
Alternatively, she realizes that he can’t cope under pressure well these days, so he’s probably never going to be able to make her feel safe and protected again.
If she gets back with him, she’ll have to be the stronger one (emotionally), which will then prevent her from being able to relax and be his woman.
She will have to take on a more masculine role in the relationship (i.e. as the emotional protector, the strong one, the leader) and as a result, she won’t feel sexually or romantically attracted to him.
So, if your ex wife has been getting back with you again and again, only to then break up with you, make sure that you don’t let her see you feeling stressed.
Instead, make her feel like the one who is losing you, by accepting the breakup and letting her go.
Alternatively, make her stop wanting to break up with you, by learning what it takes to get her back for real this time and keep the relationship together for life.
Another common mistake a man will make when his ex wife gets back with him, only to then break up with him again…
2. Asking her to be consistent with her feelings
It’s not possible to convince a woman to be consistent with her feelings via logical reasoning (i.e. saying it would be better for the relationship, easier for him, less stressful).
The reason why is that a woman will only be more consistent with her feelings, if a man makes her feel respect, attraction and love for him, based on his approach to her.
I said “more consistent” because it’s not possible to make a woman be emotionally consistent, 100% of the time.
As you would know, women go through hormonal changes every month, which changes a woman’s behavior in the days leading up to her period, on the day of and for a number of days after.
Additionally, women naturally increase or decrease their interest level in a man, based on his behavior, actions and treatment of her.
This is a natural, instinctive approach that women use to bring the best out of a man and ensure their survival.
It may not always work (i.e. some men become angry), but it’s what women do to hopefully encourage a man to become and be a better man for her.
So, if a man asks his ex wife to be consistent with her feelings, she’s not going to do it, regardless of how many reasons he gives her (e.g. do it for the kid’s sake).
To get the most amount of emotional consistency from a woman, you need to be confident, emotionally masculine and be the kind of man that she can look up to, respect and love.
If you don’t approach her in that way, she will pull back interest and become cold and distant, which may then lead you to becoming irritated, angry, annoyed or emotionally sensitive in response.
That won’t work.
You’ve got to be the kind of man that she can consistently feel respectful of, attracted to and in love with.
Anything outside of that will result in failure, or a miserable, unhappy relationship that stays together ‘for the kids’ or to avoid feeling ashamed about being a divorced couple.
Another mistake…
3. Trying to show her how loyal he is, even when she’s dating other men
Using that approach doesn’t work on women because it comes across as needy and desperate, or she sees it as meaning that he can’t figure out how to attract other women, so he’s holding out for her.
That’s a turn off because women are always more attracted to men, who can easily attract other women.
Rejected men aren’t attractive.
A man might say that he hasn’t been rejected and is being loyal to her because he loves her, but a woman can tell if he’s being truthful or not.
She’s seen him interacting with other women in the past and if she noticed that women don’t find him attractive (e.g. because he comes across as too nice, is insecure, lacks confidence or manliness in his behavior), then she will believe that he’s being loyal to her because he can’t get attractive women interested in him.
He might be able to get unattractive women interested, but he’s not interested in replacing his ex wife with an unattractive woman.
So, he remains single and alone, even though she’s out there sleeping with new men.
The fact that she’s the only one who has been having sex with new people, can also make her worry that if they got back together for real, the thought of her having dated and potentially slept with other men, might result in him becoming very insecure.
For example: He might worry that she’s thinking about another man while they’re having sex, or worry that she might stray or cheat on him with one of those men, if she gets bored in the relationship again.
How about you?
Have you slept with any new women since the divorce?
Were those women as attractive, less attractive or more attractive than your ex wife?
Alternatively, have you remained loyal in the hope that it will matter to her and she’ll feel bad about straying and come back to you?
The thing is, you don’t have to sleep with new women to get your ex wife back.
However, if you haven’t slept with any new women, don’t try to use it as a way of hopefully getting her to feel bad, or take pity on you and commit to you.
If you want your ex wife back for real, you’ve got to focus on attracting her in new ways that excite and interest her, which leads me to the next point…
4. Not being willing to use a new approach to attraction with her
Sometimes a man builds a relationship with a woman upon him being a nice, reliable, gentle, sweet man, who spoils her with things like flowers, gifts, romantic dinners and so on.
Then, when he tries to get her back after a separation or divorce, he uses the same old approach.
Yet, although she was okay about that approach in the past, it doesn’t have the same effect on her now.
Why?
Romance and nice treatment are only truly appreciated by a woman, when she is attracted and in love with a man.
If a woman doesn’t really feel much attraction for a guy, or isn’t in love with him and he starts being very nice and romantic, it feels weird, awkward and off to her.
It feels too one-sided (i.e. he’s into her, but she’s not feeling it).
It can also make her begin to look at him as being desperate, lost and confused because he doesn’t really understand what she wants.
For example: In many cases, a woman like that will respond much better if her ex husband became a bit of a challenge, rather than being so predictable.
If she says, “I can’t make it over tonight” he will usually just say, “Oh, okay. No problem. Maybe next time,” which is fine.
Yet, to wake her up, make her feel attracted and excited, he could be a bit of a playful challenge by saying, “Good. I didn’t want to see you anyway :P” with a smiley face emoji with the tongue sticking out, to let her know that he’s joking.
Alternatively, she texts, “Hey, what are you up to?” and he replies, “Can’t tell you” to pique her interest.
She then wants to know and he replies with a laughing smiley face emoji and says, “Just kidding. I’m texting with my hot ex wife. Why? What’s up?”
Alternatively, she texts and asks, “How, how are you?” and he replies, “Good. Just ate dinner. Want to come over and give me a massage?”
All of a sudden, the relationship feels more alive, because he has the courage to be a bit of a playful challenge.
He’s no longer the predictable nice guy, or neutral guy that she became bored of in the marriage.
He’s leveled up and can now actually be bothered to create sparks with her, rather than just talking to her like a nice friend, or an ex wife who is good buddies with.
The sexual and romantic spark is back and she wants to experience more of it, so she opens back up and he can then approach the relationship correctly from then on and keep it together.
Another common mistake men make with an ex wife in this situation…
5. Giving her an all or nothing ultimatum
When a woman keeps getting back with her ex husband and breaking up with him again, he might eventually become very annoyed, frustrated and even angry.
He might then tell her that she either gets back with him for real, or he will no longer accept her back.
Yet, a woman doesn’t want to feel like she is being forced into a relationship with a man.
Additionally, if she knows that he does love her and is just being emotional, she might decide to teach him a lesson and say, “Fine. It’s over then. We’re not getting back together anymore. I’m going to start dating new men. I wish you all the best.”
He then regrets putting her in a position where she had to make a clear decision.
Don’t let that be you.
If you want your ex wife to get back with you permanently, you have to give her a good enough reason.
The reason is that she feels a lot of new attraction, respect and love for you, based on the approach that you now you use with her.
If you do that (and maintain it), she will fall back in love with you and never want to leave you again.
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