Here are 5 stories of couples that were able to reunite after a break up and enjoy a better relationship from then on…
Couple 1: Broke up because she didn’t feel attracted to him anymore
This couple began a relationship with a lot of attraction and the spark of new love.
At first, they really enjoyed being together, kissing, having sex and getting to know each other.
Everything felt exciting and new and the woman often found herself daydreaming about her man and thinking things like, “He’s so wonderful! He makes me laugh and smile, even when I feel sad. When I feel a bit self-conscious and insecure about my attractiveness as a woman, all I have to do is be with him and I start to feel like the most beautiful, sexiest woman in the world. He makes me feel so special. I just love being in his arms, knowing I’m his girl and he’s my guy. Nothing will ever change that. He is the one.”
At the same time, the guy was thinking things like, “I’m such a lucky guy. She’s so beautiful and smart and we really have a great relationship. She’s like my best friend and my girlfriend all rolled into one perfect package. It’s perfect.”
Yet, over time, something began to change.
The woman began to notice that rather than building on her feelings of respect and attraction, her man started behaving in unattractive ways, which then caused her feelings to fade.
For example:
- He started treating her more like a buddy and began expecting her to be more manly and sensible like him.
- He spent more time hanging out with his friends (e.g. watching TV, playing video games) than he did doing romantic things with her.
- He refused to take on the more dominant role in the relationship and expected her to take the lead and make all the important decisions for the both of them.
Naturally, this caused the woman to lose respect for him.
She began thinking to herself, “Why am I putting up with this behavior? I don’t want to feel like his friend. I want to feel like his girl. The spark is gone between us and I don’t know if we can ever get it back. There are hundreds of guys out there who would love to be my boyfriend. Maybe it’s time to move on. This just doesn’t seem to be working anymore. It’s probably a sign that we’re not meant to me.”
Rather than break up right away, she tried to wake him up by pointing out things to him in arguments or disagreements (e.g. by saying things like, “I’m your girlfriend, not one of your buddies,” or “I’m fed up with making all the decisions. Why don’t you be a man and do it yourself for a change?”).
Yet, like a lot of guys, he just brushed it away, assuming that she will put up with anything because she loves him.
So, when she finally broke up with him, he was shocked.
Suddenly, he found himself alone and missing her and he began to wonder what he did wrong.
Yet, rather than begging and pleading with her for another chance, he approach the ex back process like a man and focused on getting to the root of the problem.
He asked himself questions like…
- Did I maintain and build on her feelings of love, respect and attraction for me, or did I take it for granted that the love would take care of itself?
- Did I treat her like a desirable, sexy woman, or did I make her feel more like a friend?
- Did I maintain my dominance in the relationship as the man, or did I sit back and expect her to take the lead?
He then understood how certain aspects of his behavior and attitude towards her turned her off and caused her to stop feeling attracted.
He also realized that she was the one for him and that he really did want her back.
He then quickly made some attractive changes to his thinking and behavior and called her on the phone.
On the call, he made her laugh and smile and got her thinking, “It’s so nice to hear from him again. He sounds so different. I wonder if he really has changed or if it’s just a front to try and get me back?”
He then asked her to meet up with him, to say hello as friends.
Initially, she was a bit reluctant to say “Yes,” but he maintained his confidence with her until she agreed.
At the meet up, he let his actions speak for him (e.g. he remained confident and emotionally strong even when she tried to test him by being cold and unfriendly, he made her feel feminine and girly by being more emotionally masculine around her, he used flirting to create sexual tension).
Even though she tried to fight it at first, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling attracted to him again.
She realized that he truly had changed and improved the things that mattered to her (e.g. he was treating her like his girl again) and she began to feel surges of respect and attraction for the new him.
He then asked her if she would like to give the relationship another try and she said “Yes.”
Here’s another story of a couple that reunited after breaking up…
Couple 2: Broke up because he took her for granted
Our next story is about a couple that broke up because the guy took his woman for granted.
Like most men, he wasn’t a bad guy who went out of his way to make his woman feel unloved and unappreciated.
In fact, in the beginning of the relationship he was very loving, attentive and caring.
He often noticed his woman’s efforts to look good for him, all the things she did for him (e.g. bring him coffee in bed in the morning, wash the dishes, run errands for him) and how good she was to him.
Yet, over time, he became neglectful and stopped noticing and commenting on the nice things she did for him.
If she bought a new dress, or changed her hairstyle, rather than notice it and give her a compliment, he usually didn’t even realize that anything was different or new about her.
He also fell into the habit of assuming that it was okay for her to run around and do everything for him because she loved him.
He essentially expected her to serve him and do whatever he wanted because they were in a relationship.
However, this only made her feel unloved and unappreciated and she began to feel unhappy in the relationship.
Her feelings of resentment built up and made her begin to look at him in a hateful, rather than loving way.
Eventually, she stopped feeling respect, attraction and love for him and then decided to break up with him.
The guy was shocked because he didn’t realize what he had done to cause her to leave.
He thought that everything was okay, but it wasn’t.
However, he was determined to get her back, so he set about going over his past behavior and actions in the relationship.
He thought about the things they argued over, the complaints she had made to him and the things she nagged about.
He realized that he hadn’t been a very good man to his woman and understood that his actions had caused her to feel taken for granted, unloved and unsupported.
He quickly changed, called her on the phone to apologize (without groveling) and made it clear to her that he knew he messed up.
He then guided the conversation towards the mutual understanding that it’s okay for a guy (and a woman) to make mistakes in a relationship and that it doesn’t always mean the end.
He told her that when a guy learns from his mistakes and becomes a better man as a result, the relationship could flourish and become even more enjoyable than it was before.
He then used humor to break down her defenses and asked her to meet up with him.
At the meet up, she was able to see that he truly had changed (by the way he behaved and interacted with her) and was now at a different level as a man.
He was being a better man, but he wasn’t trying to suck up to her and grovel, so she felt attracted to him again.
She forgave him and they agreed to continue seeing each other for a week to see how it wnt.
During that week, she saw that he’d truly changed and was now a better man than before, so they got back together.
Couple 3: Broke up because he became too clingy
This story is about a guy who did everything right to get his woman (i.e. he was confident, self-assured), but then somewhere along the line, he became clingy, insecure and needy in his relationship with her.
He started hanging out with her more and more and neglected his friends and hobbies.
He also stopped focusing on his dreams and goals and made everything in his life about her.
Of course, this caused her to feel smothered, so she tried to create some space by saying things like, “Wouldn’t you like to go out with your friends this weekend? I might be nice to have a boys’ only night out,” and “I’ve got a lot of work to get through this week, so I won’t be able to see you that much. Why don’t you check if your hiking club is doing anything so you don’t have to hang around here feeling bored while I work?”
Unfortunately, he didn’t listen to her, missed all the subtle cues and carried on being clingy and needy.
In his mind, he knew that he should be more manly, but he just couldn’t push himself to do it.
He was addicted to the feelings he was getting by spending all of his time with her.
It felt comfortable to him and meant that he didn’t have to get out there in the world and do things.
He could just be with her.
Eventually, she got tired of having a clingy boyfriend (or husband) and she broke up with him.
So, to get her back, the guy realized that it was very important for him to get to the point in his life where he wanted her back, but didn’t need her back.
To do that, he started focusing on doing all the things in his life that he had neglected before.
For example:
- He made progress on his big goals, dreams and ambitions in life.
- He reconnected with his old friends and enjoyed some fun times with them.
- He got back into sports or activities that he used to love.
- He looked for new ways to enrich his life.
To show her that he changed, he posted photos of himself having fun on social media.
She had unfriended him after the break up, but that didn’t matter.
He set the photos to ‘public’ to ensure that she could see them when she stopped by from time to time to check on him.
Sure enough, she did stop by to check on his social media profile and saw that he was confident, happy and getting on with life without her.
He waited a week and then contacted her to arrange a meet up and she agreed.
At the meet up, he re-attracted her by allowing her to experience the new and improved version of him and got her back.
Couple 4: Broke up because she matured, but he didn’t
Our next story is about a couple that found themselves at different levels in their life and this caused them to break up.
At first, they both seemed to enjoy the same things (e.g. partying, hanging out with friends, not wanting to ever settle down), which was great fun for a while.
However, over time, the woman discovered that she was maturing a lot faster than her guy and was no longer interested in the same things as she was before.
Essentially, the guy was stuck behaving more like a teenager than a grown up man, while she was ready to settle down and take things more seriously.
For example: He spent most of his time hanging out with friends watching TV, playing and partying or he didn’t have a stable job and relied heavily on his woman and his family to help out with his bills and expenses.
Alternatively, she began to see that her friends were having children and beginning to pay off a house, but her guy just wanted to drink and party and keep renting for the rest of his life.
He wasn’t interested in starting a family or doing what everyone else seemed to do when they grew up, which is fine, but it wasn’t fine for her.
She wanted to settle down and start a family.
As a result, she started to feel like they were no longer compatible.
Initially, she made excuses to herself for his lack of maturity and would say things like, “It’s not that he’s a bad guy, he’s just not maturing as fast as me. He probably just needs a bit more time to be wild and party. Once he’s gotten everything out of his system, he will surely start wanting the same things I do, like a steady job, a house and a family. We can then settle down and truly make this relationship work.”
Over time though, she realized that he wasn’t willing to change, so she broke up with him.
Fortunately, he didn’t panic and do something silly like desperately propose marriage to her in the hopes that it would change her mind.
Instead, he focused on quickly becoming a more emotionally mature man (e.g. by getting a better job, setting goals for his future and working towards achieving them, cutting ties with his irresponsible friends and hanging out with more mature, friends who were also ready to settle down).
He then concentrated on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for him by using every interaction that he had with her (especially on the phone and face-to-face), to show her that he had changed and was now a more emotionally mature man.
Initially, she was a bit nervous about giving him another chance (because she didn’t fully believe he had changed), but when she saw for herself that he was now at a different level than before, her defenses quickly dissolved.
She met up with him for coffee and they kissed, had sex and got back together again.
Couple 5: Broke up because of constant arguing and fighting
Our final story of a couple who reunited after breaking up, is about a man and a woman who broke up because they couldn’t stop fighting and arguing all the time.
Although everything started off fine in the relationship, somewhere along the line, they stopped agreeing with each other and started arguing over everything.
The relationship became too stressful, too frustrating and too tiring for the woman, so she gave up on fixing it and left him.
Once she was gone, the guy realized that he had allowed trivial things to get in the way of the respect, attraction and love they felt for each other.
For example: He got angry when she threw a tantrum rather than just smile and use humor to get her out of her bad mood, he expected her to react to problems more like a man instead of allowing her to express herself like a woman or he picked on her and complained about things that really didn’t matter.
So, to get her back, he interacted with her over the phone and in person and showed her that he learned from his mistakes.
When she tested him, by doing something that would have caused him to get angry or annoyed with her in the past, he remained confident and relaxed and turned the situation into something they could both laugh about together.
She then started to believe that things really were different, so she was able to forgive him and open back up.
They then got back together and discovered that their relationship was even better the second time around.
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