Here are 5 tips to help you begin talking to your ex girlfriend after a long time and then get her back for some sex or a relationship:
1. Make sure that your social media says good things about you first
If a woman has been enjoying life without her ex and he then contacts her after a long time, the first thing she will most likely do is check his social media.
Basically, she wants to see what he’s been up to since they broke up and possibly get an idea about why he’s calling her out of the blue.
If his photos and posts make him come across as being bored or lonely, she will then likely make assumptions about him such as…
- He’s contacting her because he’s struggling to find another woman since she left him.
- He’s desperate and stuck in a rut in his life.
- He’s hasn’t leveled up as a man yet.
- He’s not doing anything fun.
- He’s become a bit of a loner since the breakup.
- He’s secretly hoping that if she sees how sad and lonely he has been without her, she will take pity on him and give him another chance.
- He’s a confused guy who doesn’t understand that emotional weakness and loneliness aren’t sexually attractive to women.
- Of course, none of those things might be true about him.
However, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy and has broken up with him, she will usually interpret everything he says or does in a more negative way.
If she then sees a selfie of him alone, rather than think things like, “Wow, he looks good in that photo. I forgot how hot he is. Maybe I should meet up with him to see if I feel attracted,” she will instead wonder something along the lines of, “Why does he only have selfies up? Why is he all alone and not hanging out with friends? What has he been doing all this time we’ve been apart?”
As a result, she’s almost certainly going to be reluctant to talk to him or meet up with him.
On the other hand, if his social media is full of photos of him laughing, smiling and having fun with other people, she will instantly realize that he’s been getting on with his life without her, rather than sitting around all day worrying about how to get her back.
She will then usually be more open to talking to him, even if it’s out of a sense of curiosity.
This is why updating all your social media is an important step that you need to take before you talk to your ex girlfriend again after a long time.
By the way…
If you don’t use social media or don’t post up photos often, now is a good time to start.
Additionally, if you’ve unfriended or unfollowed each other on social media, just post your photos as ‘public’ so she can see them from the outside.
She can then just check out your profile to see what has been happening with you since the breakup.
If you don’t use social media, you might have no other way to show your ex what you’ve been up to all this time apart and how much you’ve changed.
As a result, she is more likely to focus on how she remembers you being at the end of the relationship and during the breakup (e.g. insecure, jealous, controlling, unable to make her feel attracted, submissive, not enough of a challenge) and she won’t feel motivated to interact with you.
Then, once you’ve updated your profiles and added some happy, fun-filled, positive things about you and your life, you should…
2. Contact her via text with a simple, “Hey” or contact her via social media and say a little more
Essentially, you just want to break the ice with her and get her to open back up to interacting with you.
That’s why you shouldn’t come on too strong and make her wonder what you’re up to (e.g. are you trying to get her back all of a sudden after not talking to her for a long time?)
So, texting, “Hey,” or sending a social media message along the lines of, “Hey, long time no speak. How have you been?” is usually enough to get her to respond with a “Hey,” of her own.
That then gives you the opening you need to begin re-attracting her.
However, don’t be disappointed if you don’t get a response from her right away.
The truth is, when a woman hasn’t heard from her ex for a long time, chances are high she’s not going to come across as overly happy to hear from him.
In some cases, a woman might even ignore her ex’s first text or social media message. Why?
Each woman has her reasons, but the most common ones are:
- She doesn’t want to let on that she’s actually been missing him and that she’s really happy to hear from him.
- She doesn’t want to make it easy for him to get her back.
- She wants to test his confidence and see if he has the balls to keep pursuing her, even though she’s being cold and distant (this is especially relevant if one of her reasons for breaking up with him was because he was too timid and insecure).
- She feels hurt that he took so long to get in touch with her and she’s now playing hard to get to teach him a lesson.
Here’s the thing though…
Regardless of why your ex doesn’t respond to you right away, or isn’t too enthusiastic to hear from you, don’t give up too quickly and end up missing out on your chance of getting back with her.
Instead, believe in yourself and in your value to her.
Continue to post more photos to let her see that you’re enjoying life without her and then contact her again 2 weeks or a month later (e.g. “Hey, just reaching out again 😀 How are you? I hope you’re well”).
3. After a bit of initial chit chat via text or social media, get her on a phone call and have a good laugh with her
Most women don’t want to randomly text back and forth with an ex guy if it’s not going to lead to a phone call or a meetup.
So, make sure that you don’t get stuck texting her or messaging her and not getting to a phone call.
If you do, don’t be surprised if she eventually gets tired of the pointless chit-chat and stops responding to you.
So, have a few light-hearted, easygoing interactions via text or social media and then go ahead and call her.
Just remember: Once you get your ex girlfriend on a phone call, don’t waste the opportunity by being too nice or neutral with her.
You’ve got to use the phone call to spark some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
A good way to do that is by making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
You can then…
4. Set up an in person catch up to say hi as friends
As long as you focus on making her laugh, smile and feel relaxed to be talking to you again, getting her to agree to see you in person shouldn’t be that difficult.
So, after a bit more conversation where you catch up on each other’s news, you can say something along the lines of, “Well this has been enjoyable, but I think it will be even more fun to catch up in person. So, let’s meet up sometime this week as friends, for a quick cup of coffee. I’m free on Wednesday or Thursday afternoon. Which day suits you best?”
If you’ve sparked enough of her feelings, she will likely say “Yes,” right away.
You can then go ahead and arrange a suitable place and time.
On the other hand and this is more likely, she might play a bit hard to get and say something along the lines of, “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” or “I’m not sure about we should. It’s probably not a good idea to open up old wounds.”
Regardless of how she responds, the important thing is that you don’t give up at that point and lose your chance of fully re-attracting her.
So, if she replies with something negative, confidently say in a playful, upbeat manner, “Hey, it’s no big deal. It’s just a quick catchup between friends who haven’t talked in a long time. We’re mature enough to do that, right? It’ll be fun.”
At that point, she will likely agree and you can then go ahead and make plans to meet up with her.
By the way…
Make sure that you prepare yourself before you meet up with her.
What you don’t want to do is get to the meetup and turn her off by being nervous or unsure of yourself.
So, make sure you’re in control of your emotions and feeling confident and relaxed.
Then, you need to…
5. Re-attract her at the meetup and get to kissing and sex if you can
Continue using humor throughout your meetup with her to make her feel relaxed, happy and at ease in your presence.
At the same time, add in some flirting to create sexual tension between you and her.
The more you successfully build up your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you during the interaction, the easier it will become for her to open up to you.
You can then initiate physical contact with her (e.g. a hug, a kiss) and she will most likely be willing to go with it.
So, as long as you maintain your confidence you can go ahead and say something along the lines of, “It’s great to see that after all this time apart, we can be friends. I’m so glad we’re not like those exes you hear about who can’t be in the same room with each other without getting into a huge fight. I think we’re awesome and we deserve a hug for being so cool with each other. Don’t you agree? So come over here and give me a hug.”
Then, move towards her with your arms out and initiate the hug.
Note: Even though you say something like, “Come here and give me a hug,” to a woman, it doesn’t mean that you sit there waiting for her to come to you.
You still have to be the man about it and take the lead.
Additionally, a woman might feel nervous or unsure about hugging you, so you have to make the move and make the decision for her.
Then, if you’ve been reactivating her feelings for you throughout the interaction, she will almost certainly be more than happy to give you a hug.
Just go ahead and confidently take her in your arms and give her a gentle, but firm squeeze for about 5-10 seconds.
If she seems open to continuing the hug (e.g. she remains in your arms longer than she needs to, she nuzzles into your neck, she looks up at you and smiles), you can then go ahead and give her a kiss on the lips.
If she doesn’t pull away, go ahead and deepen the kiss and make it a passionate one.
From there, you can suggest going to your place or hers to ‘hang out’ and then hook up with her sexually.
By the way…
If she pulls away from you when you try to kiss her, or she doesn’t want to go to your place or hers, don’t let it get to you.
It doesn’t mean she’s not interested.
Instead, she might be feeling a bit nervous about how fast things seem to be moving.
The important thing is that you maintain your confidence and don’t try to push for it.
Just let the interaction end comfortably so she wants to talk to you and see you again.
From there, continue using interactions with her to show her that you’ve transformed yourself into the kind of man that she can now look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love.
The more you do that, the more doubts she will begin to have about breaking up with you.
She will then naturally want to be around you more to see where things go.
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