Before I give you the 5 ways to distract yourself while using the No Contact Rule, I want to point out that you can get your ex back without using the 30 Day No Contact Rule.
In most ex back cases, all that is required is 3 to 7 days of space before you begin the ex back process.
That said, if you are planning on going full No Contact for 30 days, here are 5 ways to distract yourself:
1. Join and attend meet up groups and activities in your area
This is a great way to distract yourself while using the No Contact Rule and as a bonus, it’s something that you can do alone, without feeling out of place or like a third wheel (e.g. like you would if you went out with friends and their girls).
In fact, when you join a meet up group, people will welcome you because their main purpose is to bring like-minded people together to do, learn and explore the things that they feel passionate about.
For example: Some of the groups available to you include…
- Group exercise.
- Salsa (or other) dance.
- Outdoors and adventure.
- Tech (e.g. for design or software developers).
- Photography.
- Book clubs.
- Sci-fi clubs.
- Video game meet ups.
- Outdoor activities.
Whatever you’re into or whatever you’re willing to do to get out of the house and forget about her for a while, chances are there are other people in your town or city who are into it or open to doing it.
Of course, most guys don’t want to get out of the house because they aren’t feeling up to it and they may even make excuses like, “I don’t feel like going,” or “Everything I’m interested in is too far out of my way,” or “I don’t really have the time for that sort of thing.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
You will only feel up to it when you do it, not before.
Going there wakes you up and makes you feel better.
At the same time, it’s a way for you to become more emotionally independent and as a result, appear more interesting, engaging and attractive to your ex when you interact with her again.
By getting out there and having some fun, you will automatically regain some of your ex’s respect and attraction for you for being the kind of man who didn’t sit around feeling sad and rejected during the break up.
Remember: Women are attracted to men who are emotionally strong and emotionally independent and can handle whatever life throws at them, without falling apart.
As a result, she will be more open to the idea of talking to you and interacting with you after you contact her again.
Another way to distract yourself while using the No Contact Rule is…
2. Focus on improving your ability to attract women in general, as well as re-attract her
Although there is no one size fits all formula when it comes to what women find attractive in men, there are certain traits and behaviors that almost all women are drawn to in a guy.
For example: Most women will pick…
- A confident and emotionally strong man over an insecure, self-doubting man.
- An emotionally masculine man over a wimpy man.
- An emotionally dominant man who is firm with her over a man who gives in to her every whim, regardless of how unreasonable or bratty she’s being.
- A man who makes her feel sexy and desirable over a man who treats her like a friend.
- A man who is loving and attentive, but at the same time emotionally independent, over a man who is clingy and needy.
- A man who has a purpose in life that he’s actively working towards over a man who is drifting through life and being childish and irresponsible.
Of course there are some insecure and/or unattractive women who will pick an emotionally weak, wimpy, clingy guy because they know they can control him, but most women won’t want that.
So, while you’re waiting for your No Contact period to end, use the time productively by focusing on becoming more of the kind of man that will attract women (as well as your ex) to you.
For example: Here are some questions that will help you understand how to do that…
- Do I believe in my value and attractiveness to women in general and my ex in particular, or do I think I’m not good enough for them?
- Am I the kind of guy that any woman and especially my ex can look up to and respect, or do I come across as the type of man who isn’t living up to my full potential (e.g. because I’m lost and don’t know what my purpose is, I’m too childish and immature)?
- Do I have the confidence to make women and my ex smile, laugh and enjoy being around me (especially when they test me by being cold and aloof towards me, being bitchy, or treating me with disrespect), or do I crumble and give up at the first sign of resistance from them?
- Do I make my women, as well as my ex, feel sexy and desirable when I’m around them, or do I make them feel neutral or turned off because I’m too nice and friendly and don’t know how to create a spark between us?
The more you improve your ability to attract women, the more you will believe in yourself and your ability to re-attract your ex.
Then, not only will the time fly, when you do finally interact with her and she experiences the changes in you, her feelings will also begin to change.
Even if she tries to deny it, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for you again for being man enough to use the time apart to quickly learn from your mistakes and improve.
She then naturally becomes open to talking to you over the phone and meeting up with you in person to see if you and her can work things out.
Another way to distract yourself while using the No Contact Rule is…
3. Play video games if you find that you just can’t stop thinking about her
If you’re into video games and you keep finding yourself brooding over how much you miss your ex and how you can’t stop thinking about her, you can use the games as a way of taking your mind off of her for a little while.
However, there is a catch…
Using video games to distract yourself will only work if you’ve been improving your ability to attract women.
If you remain the same and play video games, you won’t be ready to re-attract her and may end up feeling worse (e.g. because your ex senses that you still think, act and behave the same way as before and she rejects you).
Also, if your video game playing was something you and your ex used to argue about and possibly even contributed to your break up (e.g. because she felt that you were too childish and immature, you focused more on the games than on her so she felt neglected), it will only keep you stuck at the same level you were at when you and your ex broke up.
So, make sure that when you’re busy distracting yourself with video games while using the No Contact Rule, you’re not preventing yourself from becoming a better man.
Changing and improving is key to getting your ex’s respect and attraction for you back.
You don’t have to become perfect to get her back, but you do need to show her that you haven’t been wasting your time by playing games.
The more your ex can see that you’ve been working on improving yourself during your time apart, the more respect and sexual attraction she will feel for you.
It then becomes easier for her to imagine herself feeling happy in your arms once again.
However, if you just distract yourself but don’t change and your ex senses that you’d probably make the same mistakes again if she gave you another chance, then she’s not going to be very interested in giving you another chance.
Another way to distract yourself while using the No Contact Rule is…
4. Go for a day trip or weekend road trip with some buddies
Weekends and days off can be the worst after a break up.
A guy can spend a lot of time sitting home alone and remembering all the things he used to do with his ex and how empty his life feels without her.
So, arranging weekends or days away with friends is a great way to distract yourself from thinking about how much you miss being a couple with your ex.
At the same time, it also serves to remind you that, although you really do miss your ex and want her back, you don’t actually need her back to be happy and live a fun, interesting life.
The more emotionally independent you become, the more attractive you will be to her when you finally do interact with her again.
Why?
When you can get on with your life without your ex, it signals to her that it’s less likely that you’re needy, clingy and insecure (all traits that are instinctively unattractive to women).
In other words, you’re not basing your whole identity on being in a relationship with her (or another woman).
Instead, you are a man with or without her.
That is very attractive to your ex and to other women as well.
She then becomes more willing to interact with you again and see where things go from there.
So, don’t be afraid to get out and have some fun while you’re waiting.
Another way to distract yourself while using the No Contact Rule is…
5. Complete a challenging task that you’ve been putting off because you haven’t had the time
Not only is this a great way to distract yourself while using No Contact, it’s also something that will leave you a better man once you’re done.
You start out feeling anxious, missing your ex and like your confidence has taken a dent because of the break up and end up tackling something challenging, accomplishing it and becoming truly confident in yourself.
When that happens, you realize that you can pretty much achieve or do anything in life, including getting your ex back into a relationship with you that’s 100% better than it ever was before.
As a result, you start to exude a natural, fundamental type of confidence that can never be taken away or destroyed by the circumstances in your life (e.g. a stressful situation at work, a break up, money problems).
Then, when you interact with your ex and she picks up on your confidence based on how you talk, behave and act in general, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling impressed by the fact that you are being an emotionally strong, independent man who is handling the break up in such a mature way (i.e. you’re getting on with your life and accomplishing impressive things to boot).
She then starts respecting you again.
When that happens, she will also start to feel some attraction and that is the opening you need to begin getting her back for real.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Using No Contact
By the way…
If you intend to ignore your ex for the full 30 to 60 days, make sure you don’t make the following mistakes that guys make when using No Contact:
1. Thinking that No Contact is what will get her back
Although using No Contact can sometimes make a woman miss her ex enough to want to get back with him, most of the time, it actually backfires and the guy ends up losing any chance he might have had with her.
Why?
To begin with, when a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him over time.
So, unless she’s still secretly in love with him and is hoping that they will be able to work things out, or if she’s struggling to find herself a replacement guy, not hearing from her ex for weeks or even months won’t really matter to her.
In fact, after a break up most women are hoping that their ex won’t try to get them back.
So, if a guy disappears out of her life, rather than think, “Oh no! I feel so sad that he’s not calling me,” she going to be relieved instead.
She’s going to be happy about it and she’s going to then focus on moving on.
So, if your ex doesn’t have feelings for you right now, using No Contact to get her back may not be the best plan of action, because you will just be making it easier for her to get over you and move on.
If you don’t want that to happens, you need to change your approach.
You need to do what actually works almost all the time and that is to interact with her and actively re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you and guide her back into a relationship with you, before it’s too late.
Another mistake that guys make when using No Contact is…
2. Continually talking with friends or family about her and the break up
It’s only normal that a guy will want to talk about his break up with friends and family.
However, although getting things off his chest once off is fine, going on and on about it every chance he gets is not. Why?
By talking about it continually, it just reminds him of the pain he’s been experiencing and how much he wants her back.
Also, friends and family don’t always help and may even say things that will make it worse for him like, “Have you thought about what she’s doing while you’re using No Contact on her? What if she’s hooking up with other guys, or even dating someone else already? What will you do then?” which then makes him worry during the 30-60 days that he waits.
Alternatively, a friend might say, “I once tried everything to get my girlfriend back when we broke up, even No Contact, but it didn’t work. As far as I know, guys don’t really get an ex back. You just have to move on. It’s impossible. Don’t worry though, you will get over her one day. You just have to focus on getting yourself a new girlfriend.”
As a result, he begins to worry about his chances of getting his ex back and ends up feeling frustrated and confused, which doesn’t help him feel the confidence that he needs to feel to re-attract her.
Another mistake that guys make when using No Contact is…
3. Mainly focusing on distracting himself, rather than improving what turns her off about him
Sometimes a guy will spend 30 or even 60 days avoiding all contact with his ex in the hope that this will make her come back to him.
Yet, rather than use that time to change and improve in some of the ways that matter to her, he instead tries to pass the time by doing random, meaningless things (e.g. playing video games, watching lots of TV, hanging out with friends and getting drunk to numb the pain).
Then, when he finally interacts with his ex after all that time and she senses that he’s still the same man she broke up with, she loses even more respect and attraction for him.
It then becomes easy for her to permanently walk away because he’s the same guy as before and that doesn’t appeal to her.
So, if you want to re-attract your ex, don’t waste the time apart.
Instead, use it to quickly improve your ability to attract her and make her feel respect, attraction and love for you again.
Then, contact her after a week (anything longer than that is a waste of time) and show her that you’re a new and improved man (e.g. more confident and ballsy, more emotionally masculine, less needy and unsure of yourself).
When you can re-attract her in new and exciting ways, she wants to get back together again for her own reasons.
You can then start a new relationship with her and enjoy the adventure of a new relationship together.
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