Depending on how you say it, telling your ex girlfriend how much she means to you can either help or hurt your chances of getting her back.
So, if you want to tell her how much she means to you, here are 5 ways to do it that help your chances:
1. Playfully tell her that you don’t like her anymore, before laughing and telling her that you do still love her and she means a lot to you
The reason why that works is that women feel attracted to confidence and humor.
So, when you make her feel sparks of attraction prior to telling her how much she means to you, she will then appreciate it and value it so much more.
However, if she’s currently not feeling very attracted to you (e.g. because she sees you as insecure, desperate or needy for her), then she won’t really value your feelings for her, because she doesn’t have feelings for you.
In order for her to care, you have to make her experience feelings of sexual and romantic attraction first.
So, imagine that you’re talking to your ex girlfriend over the phone or in person and she asks how you’ve been doing since the breakup, or if you’ve missed her.
You then confidently say, “No, I haven’t missed you. I don’t like you anymore, so…” and then pause, laugh and say, “Just kidding. I like you…I just don’t ‘like like’ you” and have a laugh with her.
BTW: If you don’t know, saying ‘like like’ is way that young people say they like each other in a sexual, or romantic way.
Obviously, you’re just kidding and being playful by saying it in that way, which will make her laugh.
She will also feel impressed that you have the confidence to be a bit of playful challenge by talking to her like that, rather than being so soppy, serious and sad about things.
As a result, she will feel a renewed sense of respect for you and feel drawn to you in a way that feels fun, interesting and attractive.
If she then asks you to tell her for real, then it’s fine to say how much she means to you, because you’ve already sparked her attraction.
Here’s an example…
2. Tell her that you accept the breakup and are going to move on, even though she means a lot to you
You can say something like, “I won’t lie and say that I didn’t ever hope we could work things out and get back together, but I accept that we’re broken up now. I’m going to move on and get on with my life without you. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you anymore, because I do. I do still love you. However, I’m not going to hold on to the past anymore. We can now both move on and be happy without each other.”
By saying that, you’re letting her know that you do care about her, but aren’t going to desperately chase, or sit around feeling sad and lonely for months now that you’ve been dumped.
This suddenly makes her realize that she is losing you for real now, while also making her feel a little rejected.
If you’ve been interacting with her and making her feel attracted prior to telling her how you feel (i.e. by being very confident, using humor, being more manly, being assertive in a loving way, using flirting), she will naturally feel like she is losing something that she still wants.
As a result, she will feel compelled to open back up to you, in order to stop the painful emotions that she is now experiencing (i.e. regret, loss, anxiety, sadness, rejection).
You can then attract her further and guide her back into a relationship with you.
3. Re-attract her with confidence, humor and flirting first and then tell her that you do still love her
Flirting is a language that women understand, like and appreciate.
It’s subtle, interesting, exciting and arousing for women.
So, don’t be afraid to confidently flirt with her and use humor to make her feel attracted to you.
For example: If you’re talking to her and she says something like, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t be with you. I just don’t feel the same way anymore.”
Rather than reacting in a way that suggests you feel rejected, upset, or possibly even irritated at her for pushing you away, use confident flirting and humor instead, so she feels sparks of attraction.
In response to what she said, you can then jokingly say, “That’s fine. I don’t want to be with you either. I just want you to cook me dinner every now and then. I really like your cooking. That’s all I’m going to miss” and have a laugh.
When she laughs, you can then add in, “…or maybe you can cook me breakfast when I stay over after we have exciting make up sex.”
Obviously, you say it in a playful manner.
You’re not ordering her to do something.
You’re just being assertive in a loving way, by using confident and flirtatious humor.
Women enjoy that because they naturally feel attracted to confidence in men.
Women also feel attracted when a man has the ability to make her laugh and make her feel sparks of desire due to flirting.
It just makes everything so much easier with women, when you do it right, of course.
Some guys try to flirt and use humor, but they come across as insecure, hesitant or afraid, which then turns the woman off.
Women aren’t attracted to fear in men.
So, if you’re going to use flirting and humor, make sure that you do so with confidence.
Also be prepared for the reality that she might test your confidence, by pretending to get angry at what you said.
Women do that to check if you’re just putting on a front of confidence, or if you really are that confident now.
So, if she does test you by pretending to be angry, annoyed or offended by what you say, just laugh and say something like, “Ah, relax girl…we’re allowed to have a laugh with each other. We’re not enemies now after breaking up. We are friends and friends can joke around with each other, without getting so serious about things.”
Alternatively, if you have the confidence to say the following, you can laugh and say, “You love it” in a confident, playful, but also assertive tone of voice.
You always have to remember that women are attracted to confidence in men and turned off by insecurity and fear.
So, don’t try to seek pity by being afraid of her, or seem unsure of yourself by being insecure to hopefully get her to go easy on you.
She’s not looking for someone to walk all over.
She’s looking for someone to look up to, respect and follow.
She won’t tell you that, but it’s what she wants and if you don’t give it to her, another guy will and she’ll stick to him like glue.
So, once you’ve confidently flirted with her, or confidently used humor without fear, don’t be afraid to also add in something like, “By the way…I do still love you. If we don’t get back together that’s fine by me, but I’m not afraid to tell you that I still do love you.”
4. Playfully tell her that you will hold a place for her in your heart for the next few months, but will have to kick her out after then
Jokingly say, “You mean a lot to me and I currently hold a place for you in my heart. I’ll probably kick you out after a few months though. So, your time is limited girl” and then have a laugh with her.
By making light of your feelings for her in that way, she’s more likely to drop her guard and be more open, because she can see that you’re not being desperate, soppy and sad about the whole thing.
Instead, you are showing confidence and emotional independence, while also making her laugh, which will result in her feeling sparks of attraction for you.
When she feels sparks, she will naturally consider getting back with you, or at least hooking up with you again to see how she feels afterward.
5. Tell her that you are glad you and her met and loved each other and wish her all the best
Say, in a confident, easygoing tone of voice, “Hey, I just want you to know that even though we’re now broken up, I don’t regret a thing. I’m glad we met, had a chance to love each other and be together for a while. Of course, it’s over now and I wish you all the best. I hope you’ll be happy.”
Don’t say that in an overly emotional, or soppy kind of way.
Be easygoing and confident as you say it, so she doesn’t have to put her guard up and show disinterest, or discomfort.
When you say it right, she will feel sparks of attraction, while also feeling regret about losing you for real now.
If you’ve been making her feel attracted in other ways prior to saying it (e.g. flirting, being manly to make her feel girly in comparison to you, being emotionally independent), she will feel drawn to you and confused about what to do.
You can then guide her through the ex back process and get her back.
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