If your girlfriend (or wife) has lost feelings for you and you want her back, be sure to follow these proven to work tips:
1. Stop using the approach to attraction that you’ve been using lately
A woman’s feelings of attraction for you can be increased or decreased based on the approach that you use with her.
For example: If a guy was confident at the start of the relationship with his girlfriend, she would have felt attracted to him because of that.
Yet, if he became insecure, overly jealous, clingy or needy as the relationship progressed, she would have lost feelings of attraction for him as a result.
Her feelings aren’t dead though.
She’s just reacting to the approach he is using with her.
Using an attractive approach will bring back her feelings, whereas using an unattractive approach will just push her further away.
Here are some examples of what to stop and what to start to bring back her feelings of attraction:
- Stop treating her like a neutral friend and start making her feel like a sexy and desirable woman in your presence. You can do this based on the way you look at her, talk to her and interact with her. Let her sense that you aren’t bored of her appearance, or don’t just see her as a girlfriend that you’ve had enough of. Let her see and sense that you do find her attractive. For example: She arrives to meet you at a cafe and rather than just ignoring the effort she’s put into her appearance, of feeling like you can’t say anything because you’re her ex now, just be confident and say, in a manly, self-assured manner, “Wow. Look at you. You look beautiful today” or, “Wow, someone looks pretty today.” Add in a smile when you’re saying it and let her see that you’re enjoying the attraction you feel for her, rather than just being neutral like a friend or not caring due to being bored of her, or no longer appreciating her appearance.
- Stop taking everything she says and does so seriously and start playfully making fun of some of the things she says or does, so she can smile, laugh and feel good to be around you. For example: She says, “I don’t know if I want a relationship anymore.” You can have a serious discussion if you want to, but it’s probably just going to stress her out and push her away. On the other hand, if you have confidence and courage to jokingly (important) say something like, “Who said anything about a relationship? All I want is for you to cook me dinner tonight,” she’s going to have to smile, laugh and stop being so serious at that moment. Alternatively, you might playfully say, “Me either. I just want friends with benefits” and have a laugh with her about it.
- Stop letting her walk all over you and dominate you with her confident personality and be a more ballsy, assertive man around her. Continue being a loving guy, but have more balls. Women love balls (i.e. courage, manly confidence), so don’t be afraid to let her experience that from you. On the other hand, women feel turned off, annoyed, frustrated and repelled by timid, hesitant and fearful behavior from men.
- Stop being so predictable and start being more of a challenge, so she has to put in the effort to impress you for a change.
- Stop being so needy for her and start focusing on things that are important to you, which don’t involve her (e.g. your biggest goals and dreams).
- Stop putting her on a pedestal and assuming she’s better than you and start believing in your value and attractiveness to her. How? Get better at attracting women. Learn and then use the techniques on her or other women. When you see that you can easily attract women, you realize that you are in control. You no longer have to be needy and hope to be chosen by your ex, or another pretty woman. You can attract women at will.
- Stop being so nice, sweet or trying to be on your best behavior around her and start being more sexually confident and sure of yourself. Let her sense that you know she wants you. Simply having that confidence in yourself does make a woman feel attracted, as long as you don’t brag about it, or overdo it. It’s a subtle type of confidence that players have and women love it. It’s magnetically attractive when a guy knows that a woman wants him and has a smirk, or a knowing smile when interacting with her. Women love that.
When you use a new approach to attract that excites her, she suddenly feels like getting back with you, or at least hooking up with you again to see things go.
If she doesn’t do that, she has to live with the fact that you’re on her mind all day, every day.
She also has to consider the fact that you might attract a new, pretty woman and then lose interest in getting her back.
So, if she wants you back, she’d better do it now.
Another thing you can do to bring back her feelings and get her back is…
2. Don’t talk about your feelings for her before you’ve reactivated her feelings for you
If you talk about your feelings for her prior to bringing back her feelings for you, she can see your approach as being selfish.
Why?
You want her back even though she doesn’t have feelings for you, which seems unfair to her.
It’s almost like you’re asking her to do you a favor and just get back with you, even though she doesn’t have the kind of feelings that would make her want to.
So, while you are expressing your feelings, she can be thinking something like, “I can’t believe how selfish and self-absorbed he’s being right now. All he ever talks about is what he wants and how he feels. Not once has he thought about my feelings. After all, we wouldn’t be broken up right now if he had spent a bit more time caring about how I feel compared to how he feels. I’m tired of always having to listen to him about what he wants. How he’s making me feel right now just confirms to me that I made the right decision to break up with him.”
What matters to her right now, is how she feels and what she wants, not what you want, or how you feel.
So, if you want to bring back her feelings of wanting to be with you again, don’t waste time talking about your feelings.
Instead, just focus on re-attracting her as you interact with her.
When you re-attract her, she naturally begins to have feelings for you again and then will begin to care about your feelings.
Until you do that though, it’s all about her and what she feels and wants.
3. Stop giving her the impression that you want her to feel attracted to you again so you can secure a relationship
If your ex gets a sense that everything you’re doing is only a ploy to get her back into a relationship, she will resist any feelings that she begins to experience when around you.
So, don’t give her the impression that you’re hoping she says, “Okay, let’s get back together.”
Just be relaxed, confident and easygoing as you re-attract her.
Let her experience the attraction, without feeling pressured to commit to a relationship.
Don’t tell her that you’re not pressuring her to make a decision, or commit.
Just let her sense it.
4. Get clear on the more subtle reasons why she wanted to end the relationship
Every woman has her reasons for breaking up with a guy and although he might know some of her very obvious ones (e.g. she feels like he’s taking her for granted, he’s too jealous and controlling, she thinks he’s lazy and doesn’t have much purpose in his life), a guy often won’t know about her more subtle reasons for losing feelings and ending the relationship.
For example:
- His inability to make decisions, or his reliance on her to make decisions (e.g. where to go, what to eat, whether to accept an invitation to a party or wedding or not, what to watch on TV or at the movies). She doesn’t expect him to decide on everything, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to be the leader or more dominant one in the relationship. She wants him to take charge and let her relax into being his woman (i.e. following along with his direction).
- How he tends to get annoyed or angry about things that she thinks he shouldn’t get so worked up about (e.g. getting stuck in traffic, the weather, little problems with his family or friends).
- How he always starts new projects, but never seems to finish them and then comes up with excuses as to why.
- How he seems so confident when he’s playing video games, but lacks confidence when it comes to achieving things in real life.
- How he seems insecure, nervous or anxious when interacting with waiters, shop assistants, parking attendants and so on.
- How he’s too predictable in bed, or touches her body too softly or hesitantly. Alternatively, how he seems nervous when she looks in him the eyes during sex, or when he’s naked around her.
- How he tends to spend more time with his friends than her and when he does spend time with her, he’s emotionally closed off and unavailable.
How he feels unworthy of her and makes her feel like she is more valuable than him. She wants a guy with more confidence and self-belief, rather than feeling like she’s doing him a favor by being with him. - When you understand your ex’s subtle, secret reasons for ending the relationship, you can then make adjustments that will surprise, impress and attract her.
She will realize that you aren’t so bad after all and may actually be the best guy she will ever meet.
So, rather than walking away, she gives you another chance to see how things go.
5. Understand what really attracts a woman on a primal level and then do that
What attracts women on a primal level are things that guys often feel uncomfortable doing.
Yet, primal attraction is the most magnetic, alluring, intoxicating attraction of all and if you try to avoid it, women won’t ever feel a deep attraction for you.
Essentially, to make a woman feel primal attraction, you need to have more balls in the way that you talk to her, touch her, behave around her and get her to behave around you.
It’s also about how you look at her, the vibe you give off and the way that you think about her in comparison to you (i.e. she is less dominant than you no matter what she says or does to look tough, act mean or seem strong. She’s just a girl and you’re a man, regardless of how physically strong she is. You are the man, end of story).
When you approach your woman in that way, she will literally become intoxicated by the attraction she feels for you.
It’s an unforgettable kind of attraction that she can’t ignore or walk away from.
So, don’t be afraid to be more primal.
Women love it and when you get used to being like that, you will love yourself so much for it as well.
You will be proud of how manly and raw you are and it will feel great for the rest of your life.
6. Re-attract her and then pull away, so she feels like she is losing you now
Once you’ve re-attracted her, she will be feeling drawn to you and want to get back with you, or at least hook up with you.
If you want, you can get back with her at that point if things are going well.
Yet, if she’s still playing a bit hard to get, or seems a little unsure, just pull away (i.e. give her space for a few days) and let her feel the pain of losing you.
She will almost certainly contact you during that time, but if she doesn’t, just contact her and get her to meet up with you.
If you did make her feel attracted prior to giving her that space, she will feel compelled to meet up with you and experience more of the exciting attraction that you’re now able to make her feel.
You will then get her back.
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