Rather than sitting around feeling sad, dejected and missing your ex, you can use the break up as motivation to become a better man.
The break up can literally be the thing that causes your life to spring into action and be what you’ve always wanted it to be.
Here are 6 examples of how you can use your ex as motivation to become a better man:
1. Improve your attraction skills so much that you not only re-attract her and get another chance with her, but become extremely attractive to other women as well
To begin with, don’t make the mistake that a lot of guys make and assume that in order to improve your attraction skills, you need to change your physical appearance (e.g. get a makeover, buy new clothes and shoes, go to the gym and build some muscle, change your hairstyle), in the hope that your ex (and other women) will feel more attracted to you from now on.
The truth is that although a man’s physical appearance is one aspect of what attracts a woman, the most powerful attraction skill of all is his ability to make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him (e.g. respectful, desirable, sexually attracted, happy).
This is why, if you want to be desirable to your ex again, as well as to other women, you need to be able to attract her in the ways that she wants.
For example: Ask yourself…
- Do you make her feel feminine and girly in contrast to your masculine vibe and approach, or does she feel friendly feelings, or even worse, nothing at all when she’s with you?
- Do you maintain your confidence with her, especially when she tries to test you by being cold, throwing a tantrum or pretending not to be interested in you anymore, or do you crumble and become wimpy and insecure?
- Do you believe in yourself and in your value to her, or do you feel that she’s out of your league so you put her on a pedestal and allow her to dominate you?
- Do you make her feel safe and protected because you’re rising through the levels of life like a real man, or does she feel like she has to take care of you because you’re afraid to live up to your true potential as a man?
- Are you emotionally independent and have your own goals, dreams, interests and hobbies, or are you clingy, needy and insecure?
- Does she look up to you and respect you, or does she look down on you a little bit and feel like she has to be your teacher in life on how to be the kind of man that she needs you to be?
These are the kinds of attraction skills that a woman looks for and finds most attractive in a man.
So, if you want to make your ex (and women in general) weak at the knees, focus on improving your ability to attract her based on who you are when you interact with her.
When she experiences the new and improved you (e.g. you’re more confident and self-assured, you’re more emotionally masculine so she feels more feminine with you as a result, you’re more emotionally dominant so she can relax and think, act and feel like a real woman with you) she will naturally begin to feel surges of respect and sexual attraction for you again.
When that happens, it becomes easier for her to imagine herself being in a relationship with you again.
However, if you continue offering her the same attraction experience as you did before (e.g. you’re nice and submissive around her, you let her take the lead during interactions, you treat her like a friend rather than a desirable woman), not only won’t she be interested in giving you another chance, but these are not the qualities that will attract other quality women either.
Another example of using your ex as motivation to become a better man is…
2. Fix the remaining issues you have been carrying around with you, so you finally become a complete man
Sometimes a guy will allow his issues to hold him back from achieving his full potential as a man (e.g. he doesn’t believe he’s good enough for her so he becomes insecure and self-doubting, he’s afraid of losing her so he becomes clingy and needy, he’s too timid and unsure of himself so he avoids making progress in his life, he’s insecure in the bedroom so he avoids sex and treats her like a friend).
This may cause a woman to think things like, “I’m tired of trying to make a relationship work with a guy who doesn’t yet understand how to be the man that I need. I just want to be in love and relax in the relationship rather than always feeling like I have to be on guard around my man in case he says or does something that will turn me off. So, although he’s a nice person, he’s got too many issues for me. I just want a man who is complete, not a guy who still hasn’t figured out how to be a real man,” so she decides to break up with him.
The guy might then assume that if he waits long enough, everything will work itself out between him and his ex.
He then just sits around passing the time with irrelevant things (e.g. he distracts himself with hobbies/work/video games) and he doesn’t do anything to improve his ability to attract her if she decides to come back.
If his ex then happens to miss him and decides to contact him to say hi and see what happens from there, he makes it easy for her to permanently walk away because he’s still the same guy she broke up with.
Essentially, nothing about him has changed or improved.
He’s stuck at the same level he was at when they broke up, which makes her lose even more respect and attraction for him.
If he then says something like, “I’m so glad you got in touch with me. I’ve missed you so much. Let’s put everything behind us and give our relationship another shot,” she will likely respond with something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but I really don’t feel that way about you anymore. I wish you the best and I hope you find the right woman for you, but that’s not me. Take care. Bye.”
This is why it’s so important that you don’t waste the time you have after a break up.
Not only will that prevent you from getting your ex back if that’s what you want, it will also make it more difficult for you to attract another, quality woman.
So, use your ex as motivation to fix any remaining issues you might have that you’re still carrying around with you so that you can get her back.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Becoming more confident and self-assured about your attractiveness and value to her (and to other women), rather than feeling insecure and doubtful and accepting any crumbs of attention she’s willing to throw at you.
- Being more manly in how you think, talk, act and behave, rather than being wimpy and submissive around her and allowing her to dominate you emotionally.
- Improving your ability to make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman when she interacts with you, rather than making her feel like a neutral friend, nothing at all or even turned off.
- Becoming more emotionally independent and living a happy, successful and fulfilling life with or without her.
- Stopping tiptoeing around her and trying to please her all the time and just taking the lead during interactions like an emotionally strong man would.
Then, when you do interact with your ex and she sees that you really have changed and improved and dealt with your issues, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling surges of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, her guard comes down and she opens herself up to being your girl again for real.
It’s then up to you to lead her through the final stages of the ex back process and get her back into a relationship with you.
On the other hand, if you decide that you don’t want your ex back, you can easily move on and find another more beautiful woman than her because you are a complete man now and you can.
Another example of using your ex as motivation to become a better man is…
3. Become a man of purpose and start making real progress
Sometimes a guy will put all of his attention and focus on his woman at the expense of other important areas in his life (e.g. he gives up on pursuing his big goals and dreams, he quits his hobbies and interests, he cuts off his friends).
In his mind he’s likely thinking that he’s doing the right thing and that his woman will feel flattered and happy that he’s made her his main purpose for living.
Yet, in most cases, rather than make a woman happy, it turns her off and makes her feel frustrated.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to feel responsible for a man’s emotional state in a relationship (e.g. he’s only happy when he’s with her, he’s only confident when she encourages him), or to be his main reason for living.
A woman wants her man to be happy, confident and forward moving in life with, or without her support or reassurance.
So, when she finds herself in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t have much purpose or direction in life outside of his relationship with her (i.e. he’s not making any progress on achieving any of his goals, dreams and ambitions), it may lead to her losing too much respect and attraction for him, so she breaks up with him.
Is this something that may have happened to you in your relationship with your ex?
If so, now is the time to use your ex as motivation to become a man of purpose and start making progress in your life.
Essentially, what this means is that you need to reach the point where you are…
- Happy and fulfilled with or without your ex.
- Confident, self-assured and believe in your value as a man, with or without her (or another person’s) approval.
- Actively working towards achieving your big purpose in life, regardless of whether she (or anyone else) approves or not.
- Forward moving in life with or without her.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you don’t want her back.
The big difference is that you get to the point where you feel like you don’t need her back to have a good, productive and successful life.
You want her back, but don’t need her back.
When you focus on becoming a man of purpose and feeling happy and content in your own life, not only does that stop you from staying stuck after your break up, it also automatically makes you more attractive to your ex as well.
Suddenly, she starts to see you as being more of a catch than you were before.
She stops looking at you as her needy, emotionally dependent ex who caused her to disconnect from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him and she starts to feel attracted to the new man you have become now.
It then becomes easy for you to fully re-attract her and get her back.
Another example of using your ex as motivation to become a better man is…
4. Use her as a stepping stone to even hotter women
Hot women like men who have experience with women and will be able to handle them in a relationship, without becoming insecure.
So, in addition to learning how to attract hot women, you can also use the lessons from your relationship with your ex to become more attractive to hot, beautiful women.
For example: Imagine that the relationship with your ex was a really bad one.
Imagine that she was always creating drama, throwing tantrums and behaving like a brat to see how you would react.
It doesn’t matter if she wasn’t like that.
Just imagine it.
Now, imagine how you would react to that kind of behavior if you were in the relationship right now.
For instance…
- Will you put up with her bad behavior because you’re too insecure about your value to her and are afraid of losing her, or will you be assertive enough to stand up to her?
- Will you lose control of your emotions and become angry, annoyed, upset or agitated with her, or will you remain calm, relaxed and in control of your emotions and of the situation as a whole?
- Will you continue to be nice and sweet and a pushover regardless of how badly she behaves, or will just laugh at her (in a loving way) for behaving like a brat?
At the time, you always seemed to fail her tests and ended up feeling insecure and unsure of how to handle her.
However, after the break up, you realized that being nice and sweet and submissive around a woman is one of the fastest ways to lose her respect and attraction for you.
As a result, you became more assertive, emotionally masculine and confident in your ability to handle a woman if you ever found yourself in a similar situation.
You now have the experience to handle a woman who likes to create fake drama with a man and this makes you very attractive to other women.
This means you have become a better man thanks to your ex and you can now use that to find yourself a better, hotter, more devoted woman than her.
Not only that, you now also have the right approach to be able to keep her attracted to you and make her want to be a good woman to you.
At the same time, you also become more desirable to your ex, because you’re now the man she wanted you to be all along.
It’s then up to you to decide if you want to give her another chance with you, or just move on with whichever hot woman you prefer to choose.
Another example of using your ex as motivation to become a better man is…
5. Show her your awesome new life via social media
After a break up, most women feel curious about their ex, so it’s not uncommon for a woman to check up on social media to see what her ex guy is up to.
So, go ahead and post photos of yourself having fun with other people (e.g. at parties, on the beach, at a ball game), doing exciting or interesting things (e.g. bungee jumping, traveling to an exotic location) and generally having fun and living a good life.
Make sure that you post your photos as “public” so she can see them from the outside if you’re not friends on social media.
Let her see what she is missing out on and that you’re not sitting around feeling sad, hopeless and despondent without her.
Instead, show her that the break up has motivated you to become a better man and live a better life.
Remember: Women are attracted to and respect men who are confident, happy and forward moving in life with or without their woman.
This is why, even just seeing a few photos of you enjoying your life without her is enough for most women to drop their guard and open up to communicating with you (e.g. sending you a private message or texting your to say “hi” and see what happens from there).
Of course, if your real aim is to get your ex back, don’t spend too much time trying to make her feel like she’s missing out by not being with you anymore, without following through to get a meet up.
When she is face-to-face with the new man you’ve become, she will automatically feel herself respecting you again.
When she respects you, she will also begin to feel surges of sexual attraction for you and she may then want to hug, kiss and have sex to see how she feels about getting back with you.
Another example of using your ex as motivation to become a better man is…
6. Make your daydreams become a reality
Do you often daydream of you and your ex getting back together again?
Do you sometimes spend a lot of time thinking about her before you go to sleep at night?
Do you imagine that if she met up with you now, she might fall back in love you with you and get back with you?
Well, if you want that to happen, use her as motivation to do what it takes to get her back.
When you focus on making her reconnect with her sexual and romantic feelings for you, she will naturally begin to think about you and look at you in a completely new way.
She will begin to see that there is still hope for you and her because she feels a spark with you again.
As a result, her defenses come down and she opens back up to being a couple again.
The truth is, men get women back all the time.
You can do it too.
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