Women understand a lot of things about men, but there are some things that remain a mystery for women throughout their life.
It then causes problems for not only women, but for men as well.
So, I thought I’d clear some things up.
The first one is something that women can get quite frustrated or even angry about. It’s…
1. Why our urine sometimes ends up on the floor, or on the outer edges of the toilet bowl
So, what happens there is that we go into the toilet and intentionally just piss all over the floor and around the toilet bowl.
Just kidding – that’s not how it works.
How it works, is that a man will stand directly in front of the toilet bowl and aim directly towards the toilet bowl, but when the stream of urine starts, it sometimes goes straight in and it’s perfect.
Yet, on many occasions, it goes off to the right, or off to the left, or it goes straight, but then there’s some drippage going down on the floor and onto our shoes as well.
I can assure the women watching this video that we don’t want to be pissing on our shoes.
We try to get it in the bowl, but it’s just the way that it works.
Sometimes it goes all the way off to the right and we have to lean to the left and aim it into the bowl, sometimes it goes straight in and so on.
Yet, men aren’t intentionally going into the toilet and just being reckless and pissing all over the place just for the fun of it.
2. Why a man will take a woman’s number and then never call her
When this happens, it’s usually because the guy gets the number, goes away and then realizes that he wasn’t that attracted to the woman and therefore can’t be bothered following up.
In other cases, he’s very attracted to her and really likes her, but is afraid to call her.
He’s afraid of getting rejected if he calls her.
Alternatively, he’s not so much worried about the rejection and instead, he simply doesn’t really know what to say.
Should he call her up and ask her out on a date?
Should he call her up and have a chit-chat and continue on with what they were talking about?
He doesn’t really know exactly what to say, so he waits and waits and then, in many cases, he just gives up and never calls her.
So, what a lot of women don’t understand is that when a man says, “Hey, can I get your number?” and a woman casually says, “Yeah, sure,” and gives the number and then doesn’t say anything else; for a lot of men, they then don’t really know if the woman does want him to call.
Was she just giving the number because that’s what she does (i.e. she just gives out her number to guys)?
Did she give him her number because she wanted to end the interaction politely?
These are the sort of insecure thoughts that some men have.
Now, it’s understandable that when a woman gives her phone number, she doesn’t have to say to the guy, “Hey, I like you by the way, so make sure that you call me, I’ll be waiting for your call” because then she can come across as needy, too keen, or the guy can feel like he’s got her wrapped around his little finger and so on.
So, she doesn’t have to do that of course.
There are consequences for a woman behaving like that, but if a woman meets a guy, really does like him and wants to make sure that he calls, it would help for a lot of men if the woman showed interest in getting a call from the guy.
By the way…
Before text messages were a big thing, this was still a problem.
I’ve been helping guys since way back in 2005 and guys had this problem back then, when texts really weren’t the main thing that people used to communicate.
Yet, in today’s world, most people like to text and a lot of guys assume that a phone call will be too much, or that the woman won’t want to get a phone call because she prefers to text, or texting is easier, or she wants to get a feel for him via text first before getting onto a phone call.
For a lot of guys, that then leads to texting back and forth with a woman, having an ongoing texting relationship, becoming her texting buddy and then she eventually stops replying because she doesn’t want a buddy; she doesn’t want a friend.
Alternatively, the guy eventually says something that turns her off via text, or she simply stops texting to signal to him that she doesn’t want to be his texting buddy; she wants something more and he should call her and get something going on, but most guys don’t realize that, so they continue to text.
So, for the women watching, when you give your phone number to a man that you really like and you also really do want him to call, it would help in a lot of cases if you said, “Hey, don’t be afraid to call me. We can talk on the phone sometime” or, “Hey, give me a call, I’d like to talk to you again.”
Saying something simple like that really helps a lot of men.
If a woman has met a man who really is a great match for her and she doesn’t say that and then he doesn’t call her, both of them miss out on being together.
They could have been a perfect couple.
They could have had an amazing relationship and stayed together for life, but she just wanted to say, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll give you my number” in a casual way, to not show too much interest.
If the man lacks a bit of confidence and is worried about getting rejected, or doesn’t really know what to say on the phone and then never calls, then nothing happens.
3. Why most men usually prefer to decide on a solution or just fix a problem, rather than spending a lot of time talking about the feelings associated with it
Deborah Tannen, a Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington, said, “Often, women want to talk about problems and get annoyed with men who want to solve them.”
She also said, “Men tend to take complaints as requests for solutions.”
Now that’s a generalization of course.
Some men are quite feminine and like to discuss their feelings and have big, emotional discussions around things, before coming to a decision.
Likewise, some women like to just focus on the solution and get on with it and so on.
Yet, what I’m talking about in this video are masculine, heterosexual men.
Generally speaking, men like that will feel the emotions associated with a problem, or a challenge and then make a decision on how to fix that problem, or solve the problem.
Generally speaking, they won’t need to get into a discussion talking about the feelings associated with the challenge and the problem, talking about how they’re confused, how they can’t make up their mind, how they’re worried, scared and so on.
Instead, what a man will do internally, without having to discuss it, is feel the associated emotions with each potential decision or solution to the problem and then just decide on one that he thinks is best, rather than saying, “Oh, we could do this, but I’m scared that could happen” or, “We could do that, but I’m worried and I’m confused and I need to talk about it some more. Let’s talk about our feelings.”
For example: According to a study published in Nature Magazine, “Women tend to talk more than men when working on a problem, especially in small groups. When not working on a problem and just talking casually over lunch, for example, women and men tend to do a similar amount of talking.”
Once again, that’s a generalization and it’s one study.
There are some studies that have shown that men talk more than women, but you really have to look at the types of men in that study.
Were the men in the study more feminine type of men? Were they talking a lot in the study to get along with the girls, or were they masculine heterosexual men who, generally speaking, tend to be more to the point?
Men like that typically don’t need to discuss their feelings in detail, in order to make a decision.
Instead, the man feels the feelings and makes a decision, without the need to talk about the emotions.
Now the thing is, there’s nothing wrong with a man discussing feelings.
A man can discuss his feelings with a woman, with other men.
He can have a long emotional conversation with someone and so on.
Yet, what a lot of women don’t understand, especially in relationships, is that men don’t need to talk in detail about some random challenge or some problem that needs fixing.
It’s not because he doesn’t care and it’s not because he’s emotionally selfish.
It’s just the way that he’s built.
So, for the men watching this video, it’s important to understand that women aren’t intentionally being annoying by wanting to talk more and discuss the feelings associated with a problem or a decision.
Likewise, for the women watching, men aren’t intentionally being annoying for not wanting to have a long discussion about something before making a decision.
What is the solution then?
Should men try to talk more like women?
Should women try to talk more like men?
No.
The solution is to simply understand that men and women are different and there’s nothing wrong with that.
There’s nothing wrong with a man being the way that he is and there’s nothing wrong with a woman being the way that she is.
4. A lot of men are confused about women’s apparent lack of attraction for them
Something that really confuses men, is when they see a woman walking through the world and not paying attention to men.
Men look at her, instantly feel very attracted to her and many will even want to have sex with her, or have a relationship with her simply based on what they’re seeing, but she doesn’t even seem to notice them.
What a lot of men don’t understand, is that women feel just as much attraction for men based purely on the man being manly or masculine.
It’s not something that women go around admitting or showing, but they feel it.
Women feel attracted to a guy’s manliness and it’s just as magnetically attractive as a woman’s feminine physical appearance is to men.
Yet, a lot of men don’t know that.
A lot of men look at the behavior of women, observe the reactions of women towards them and assume that women don’t feel much attraction for men, or they don’t feel much or any attraction for him in particular.
However, what’s actually going on is that there’s a physical difference in the brain of men and women.
For example: According to Louann Brizendine, a professor at the University of California in San Francisco, “The biggest difference between the male and female brain, is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain.”
That means: Men are not sleazy pigs, chauvinistic, toxic or any other negative thing for checking a woman out.
They’re literally physically wired to pursue women; to be the one who pursues and tries to make something happen.
That doesn’t mean that a woman can’t pursue a man and has to be passive, but what it means for the men watching, is that women will generally be the ones who aren’t pursuing sex.
Compared to a man, the woman is physically wired to be more passive when it comes to sexual pursuit.
In terms of men checking women out, here’s another quote from Louann Brizendine, “All that testosterone drives the ‘man trance,’ that glazed look a man gets when he sees breasts. I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance, but the truth is they can’t. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.”
So, it’s important for women to know that, but it’s also important for men to understand as well.
Understand that women aren’t going to go through the world checking men out like men check women out.
It’s just not the way that women are wired.
Women are physically wired to be the more passive ones.
It doesn’t mean that she can’t pursue you.
You can make her pursue you if you make her feel very attracted and use some techniques to make her chase you, but generally speaking, women wait for a man to come over and start an interaction.
Men need to understand that and women need to understand that men checking women out is not a cultural thing; it’s not men being sleazy or whatever.
It’s physical wiring.
It’s how men are wired.
5. A secret reason why men won’t commit
When a man won’t commit to a woman in a relationship (i.e. get engaged, married or move into together), there are typical reasons such as he doesn’t want the responsibilities of marriage or kids, the relationship isn’t working very well, he doesn’t like her personality and so on.
Yet, a secret reason why men won’t commit to a woman, has to do with her physical appearance.
A woman may be perfect as she is for millions of guys and she wouldn’t have to change one thing about herself; she’s perfect as she is.
However, for that guy in particular, there are some things about her physical appearance that he just doesn’t like and he doesn’t want to breed with, or he doesn’t want to have around him for the rest of his life.
This is a reason that men really can’t say to women because it can be offensive, insulting and it can make a woman very angry.
If a guy says to her, “Hey, you’ve been a great girlfriend, you’ve treated me really well, you’re a nice person, you’ve got a great personality, you’re intelligent and we have great sex, but I don’t like your nose, or I don’t like your butt, or I don’t like your thighs, or I don’t like your this or that.”
That can really anger a woman because it’s usually something that she can’t change, or it’s something that she sees him being very superficial about.
She may then say in an angry, disappointed, or pleading way, “Why can’t you love me for me?! We have a great relationship. I do this for you, I do that for you. I’ve been loyal. I care about you” and so on.
Yet, at the end of the day, if a man is going to plant his seed in a woman, babies are going to come out of her and they are going to have some of her traits and if he doesn’t like some of her physical traits, he’s just not going to commit to her regardless of how well she treats him.
This is actually a common scenario that really gets spoken about because what happens, is that sometimes a guy will get into a relationship with a woman who was hitting on him initially and she grew on him.
He didn’t really feel much attraction for her at the start and then got into a relationship with her and 2 -3 years later, she wants him to commit, get married and have children and he doesn’t want to do it.
At that point, he doesn’t really want to tell her, “Hey, all this time I haven’t really been that attracted to you. There are some things that I like about you, but you’re not the sort of woman that I want physically.”
It’s just very difficult for a man to admit that because he doesn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings, but he also doesn’t want to seem like an asshole who’s been wasting her time for the last 2-3 years.
So, the reason I’m including this is that a lot of women have asked me over the years, “Why doesn’t my boyfriend love me, respect me and treat me the way I deserve? Why doesn’t he want to commit?” and so on.”
The simple answer is that when a man is with a woman that he truly finds attractive and truly loves, he will be much more likely to commit to her rather than walking away and attempting to start all over again with a new woman.
He will also be much more motivated to make the relationship work, which will usually result in him making the woman feel loved, respected and appreciated, rather than taking her for granted.
So, for the men watching this video, I would encourage you to only attempt to attract date and get into a relationship with a woman that you’re truly attracted to.
That’s going to be better for you and the woman.
For the women watching this video, I would encourage you to understand that your physical appearance is perfect for millions of guys, but if you come across a guy who doesn’t like certain things about your physical appearance and does not want to have babies as a result of that, or commit, or have you in his life for life because of it, there’s usually nothing you can do about it.
He’s just not going to want to commit for real and if he does, he may end up cheating in the future.
It’s always best for a man and woman to get together and be truly attracted to each other, truly in love with each other and truly wanting to commit to each other.
If it’s a case where only one of them is fully invested in the relationship and the other has one foot out the door, then it’s almost certainly going to lead to cheating, a breakup, or a divorce in the future.
6. Why a man can be very attracted to a woman, but not make a move when she shows signs of interest
The main reason why this happens, is that many men don’t understand the subtle signs of interest that women display.
For example: She touches him on the arm and he then wonders, “Is she like that with everyone else? Is she a touchy-feely type of girl? Does it mean she likes me in a sexual way or likes me as a friend?”
Alternatively, she keeps talking to him in interaction, or doesn’t leave the first date and keeps talking to him.
She thinks she’s making it clear that she is interested, but he’s thinking that they’re just talking and getting along.
He doesn’t realize that if she wasn’t interested, she would almost certainly excuse herself from the conversation or date.
It’s the exceptions that confuse men though because sometimes a woman will touch a man on the arm and have absolutely no interest in him sexually.
Sometimes a woman will continue talking to a man for 2 hours and not want to be with him sexually.
Whereas other times, it means that she’s very attracted to him, she is totally into him and she’s hoping that a relationship happens.
She’s hoping that he makes a move and kisses her, so they can then take things to the next level.
Now, of course, a problem for women is that if a woman shows too much obvious interest, it can make some guys feel like they’ve got her wrapped around their little finger already.
In a case like that, a guy may feel like he doesn’t really need to do anything to impress her, or doesn’t need to treat her that well because he’s already ‘got her,’ so to speak.
Alternatively, she doesn’t want to show a lot of interest because she wants to find herself a guy who can maintain his confidence, regardless of how she’s behaving.
She doesn’t want a guy who is reliant on her to constantly reassure him that she’s interested in order for him to feel confident.
So, it’s understandable why women do certain things.
Yet, what a lot of women don’t understand is that men don’t even see the subtle signs of interest that women are showing, or they do occasionally notice them, but then write them off as being something else.
For example: A guy thinks, “She’s just like that with everyone” or, “She’s a friendly type of girl” or, “She’s touchy-feely” or, “She’s just being nice.”
So, here’s a solution for women: If a woman meets a man that she really likes and wants to ensure the date leads to something else, then she can give him a bit more of an obvious hint.
Rather than just being touchy-feely, she can say that she’s not normally a touchy-feely type of girl, but he is having that effect on her.
Essentially for the women watching, let the man know that he is having a unique effect on you and you’re enjoying it.
Sometimes a woman will just say, “I’m not usually like this” and expect the guy to understand what she means.
In most cases, he won’t understand.
You have to spell it out.
“I’m not usually touchy-feely like this. It’s something about you that is making me behave in this way and I like it.”
Then he knows for sure.
As a result, he will feel so much more confident to continue the date, move in for a kiss and make something happen.
For the men watching this video, you have to understand that you cannot rely on a woman to make it obvious that she wants something to happen because there are so many reasons why a woman won’t make it obvious.
For example:
- She doesn’t want to seem too keen and then give the guy way too much power over her.
- She wants to see if the guy can maintain his confidence despite her not showing a lot of interest.
- She wants to see if the guy will continue showing interest in her, even though she’s not making it totally obvious that she wants something to happen (i.e. is he truly interested in her, or just wanting to have sex with her once or twice?).
- She is shy.
- She is worried about showing too much interest and then getting rejected.
7. Why so many guys think that being nice is what will make a woman want them
This happens because a lot of men take what women say literally.
When a man hears a woman say, “I just want a nice guy,” he literally thinks that she wants a guy who is really nice.
He thinks to himself, “If she just wants a nice guy, then I’m going to be really, really nice and then she’s going to really, really like me.”
The fact that most men take what women say about men literally, means that it’s better for women to be more specific when saying what they want in a man, rather than just saying, “I want a nice guy.”
For example: A woman might be more specific and say, “I want a confident, good man who isn’t intimidated by me, but also shows me respect.”
So, for the women watching, if you want a confident, good man who respects you, but isn’t intimidated by you and isn’t putting on a nice guy act to hopefully win you over, then just say, “I want a confident, good man who isn’t intimidated by me, but also shows me respect.”
I guarantee you that men will respond to that by being more confident around you while also being respectful and treating you well, which will result in both of you getting what you want.
Of course, it’s not the responsibility of women to lead men in the dating and relationship scene.
However, for the women watching, just understand that most men take what you say literally.
So, if you don’t want a guy who’s nice and is nervous and unsure of himself around you, don’t say, “I just want a nice guy.”
Be more specific and men will respond to the specifics that you provide.
Okay, I hope both the women and men watching this video have learned something interesting from it.
To the men watching, if you want to learn how to go from hello to sex, or hello to a kiss, or hello to a first date, or the start of a relationship with a woman, then read, The Flow or listen to the audiobook version, The Flow on Audio.
The Flow is a natural step-by-step process that quickly and effortlessly leads to you and a woman getting into a sexual relationship.
For the men watching, if you want to know how to keep a relationship together for life, then watch, Make Her Love You For Life.
Make Her Love You For Life will teach you how to make a woman feel sexually attracted, respect you and be totally in love with you when in a relationship.
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