If you have re-attracted your ex before offering a romantic gesture, then she will appreciate it and enjoy it.
Re-attracting her means that you interact with her in an attractive way (i.e. be confident, charming, playfully challenging, funny, masculine) and make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
On the other hand, if you offer romantic gestures to your ex prior to re-attracting her, she will view it as weird, awkward and out of place.
She won’t welcome it or enjoy it.
Instead, she will feel turned off and feel more convinced that you’re not the right man for her.
So, make sure that you re-attract her first and then make a romantic gesture.
Here are 9 romantic gestures to get your ex back after re-attracting her:
1. Send her a photo of you and her together when things were good and say, “I loved the old you and I love the new you”
Firstly, if she’s been missing you a little bit, seeing the two of you together during happier times can cause her to get flooded with memories of the past.
That can spark some feelings of regret and wistfulness (i.e. yearning, longing, desire to be with you) inside of her.
As a result, she becomes more open and willing to interact with you, to see how she feels (which is what you want so you can re-attract her).
Additionally, when you highlight that you love the old and new version of her, it makes her feel like you’re not just holding on to how good things used to be, or how she used to be.
You’re not just trying to brush everything under the carpet (i.e. avoid admitting that you and her had some problems) and expecting her to think, act and behave like she did when things were good between you.
Instead, you’re making it clear that even though you love who she was back then, you’re also happy to love the woman she’s become since the breakup.
In a case where the breakup happened because the guy was too controlling or jealous, or he was unsupportive of her dreams and ambitions, this can indicate to her that he’s changed.
He’s now willing to love and support the woman she is, rather than just love her only based on what he wants her to be (e.g. make her whole life about him and give up on her dreams, not hang out with her friends when he’s not around so he doesn’t feel insecure, constantly reaffirm her feelings so he feels reassured about her love).
As a result, she’s more willing to open up and give him another chance.
2. Take her out for a good meal and treat her well
The restaurant can be somewhere new, or a place you and her used to go to at happier times.
It might also be a place she has always wanted to go to but never got the chance (e.g. because you have to book well in advance, she can’t afford it).
Remember: The place doesn’t really matter.
How you make her feel before, during and after the meal is what counts.
This is why you need to focus on these important things.
- Treating her well doesn’t mean you suck up to her, act extra nice and make her feel as though she is more valuable than you and like she has power over you.
You need to make her feel as though she needs to be on her best behavior around you and put on the charm to impress you, or else you’ll lose interest.
Make her feel as though you’re a catch and she’ll be winning by giving you another chance, not like she’s doing you a favor by even just agreeing to go out to eat with you.
- Don’t even hint that you want a relationship again at all during the meal. Just focus on having fun together again.
Just focus on enjoying the meal together and getting to know each other in a whole new way.
Use humor to make her laugh and smile and feel drawn to you again in a new way.
This allows her to relax and enjoy being around you again, without the added pressure of having to decide whether or not she wants a relationship.
Just focus on making her feel attracted (e.g. by maintaining your confidence no matter what she says or does, being playful and flirtatious, using humor to make her laugh and feel happy in your company).
Let her be the one who wants to get back into a serious relationship and starts to hint at it.
You can then give her the gift of getting to be your girl again.
3. Take her to the beach before sunset and flirt with her to make her feel new sparks with you
Movies and books have often associated romance with sunsets on the beach.
So, taking your ex to the beach around sunset will definitely feel romantic to her if she’s a romantic person.
However, don’t count on that being enough to open her back up to you.
Remember: Romance is only enjoyable to a woman if she has feelings for a man (i.e. she feels attracted to him and is either falling in love with him, or is in love with him).
So, the sunset and the beach will mean nothing to her and possibly even be uncomfortable, or upsetting if there’s no attraction between you.
You have to make her feel sparks of attraction for you again first.
That is what instantly changes her perception of you and makes her see you in a more positive way.
The best way to do that is with playful flirting.
Flirt (verb): Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.
Flirting is one of the best ways to break down the walls between you and her and get the sexual juices flowing once again.
It allows her to feel attracted to you, without worrying that it means she’s agreeing to get back together.
It also ensures that you don’t end up in the dreaded friend zone (i.e. she says, “This is all really so sweet of you. It’s lovely here on the beach and the sunset is amazing. It’s very romantic, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I do appreciate this but only as your friend. I’m not interested in anything else anymore. I hope you can accept that.”)
Instead, flirting builds up the sexual tension between you.
It makes her feel attracted.
As a result, her guard comes down and she feels open to touching and kissing and there’s no better, more romantic setting for that to happen than on the beach at sunset.
4. Tell her how you feel (in a manly way)
Some guys worry about expressing their feelings to an ex woman because they fear it will give her power over them.
However, that only happens if a guy does it in a feminine, emotionally weak way.
For example: A feminine guy will be too emotional, sensitive, needy, overly romantic or soppy about things.
That turns a lot of women off because women are most attracted and in love when they are with a man who feels emotions, but remains in control of them like a man.
A woman doesn’t want another ‘girlfriend’ who gets emotional and talks about feelings all the time.
She doesn’t want to have to reassure him that everything is okay and that he will be safe, looked after and loved by her.
She wants an emotionally strong man who is fearless in expressing himself, but still maintains his emotional strength.
A manly man expresses emotions from a place of non-neediness, but is also considerate in what he says and does.
She can then relax and be the girly, feminine woman that she really wants to be around him.
When he’s being manly, confident and emotionally strong regardless of her response (e.g. she acts indifferent, says, “I don’t care,” tries to use his love to manipulate him), not only won’t she have power over him, she will also begin to feel sexually and romantically attracted again.
She then becomes open to working things out so they can get back together again, because it feels good to her.
5. Give her a list of 10 things you wished you’d told her, or done differently in the relationship
This works if a man took a woman for granted, has changed and now wants to let her know that he realizes his mistakes.
For example: Some things he might want to say are…
- I should have stopped spending so much time going out with my friends/playing video games and spent more time doing things with you.
- I wish I said “I love you” more often rather than assuming you should know that because I said it often at the start of our relationship.
- I should have paid attention to all the nice, thoughtful things you did for me like cooking my favorite meal, taking time out of your schedule to run errands for me to make my life easier and so on.
- I should have been more helpful around the house and not treated you like my maid.
- I wish I had taken the time to tell you that I noticed all the effort you made to look attractive.
- I realize I wasn’t very supportive of your dreams and goals and I truly regret that.
- I apologize for not realizing that I was always expecting you to compromise what you wanted to fit in with my plans.
- I see now how it could have felt that I was the one always taking while you were the one giving (e.g. you did all the cooking and cleaning, was the one who had to drive to see me rather than the other way around).
- I wish I had told you how much you meant to me and that my life was better with you in it.
- I wish I had taken the time to really listen to you (e.g. when you were excited or upset about something), rather than brushing it off or being distracted.
By saying that to her, it makes her feel heard and understood.
She can see that you’ve taken the time to understand what went wrong and are probably going to do things differently if you got her back.
That makes her feel more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt (i.e. another chance with her).
6. Buy her some of her favorite food and don’t expect anything in return
For example: Imagine your ex loves fudge brownies.
Go out and get her 3 different kinds (e.g. chocolate, almond, salted caramel)
Then, give them to her and say, “Hey, I know how much you love fudge brownies so I bought these for you. I hope you enjoy them. I just want you to know that I love you and I’m really sorry for what happened.”
Then leave, without expecting anything from her.
That makes her feel attracted for some of the following reasons:
- She’s impressed that you not only remembered she loves fudge brownies, you also put in the effort to find 3 different kinds for her.
- By apologizing you make her feel heard and understood. Essentially, you’re taking responsibility for what happened, which she appreciates.
- By saying you love her and then leaving without expecting anything else, it makes her realize you’re not doing this for selfish reasons (i.e. to get her back). Instead, you’re being a good guy to her without wanting anything back in return. That earns her respect.
As a result, she feels motivated to open back up to you and see what happens from there.
7. Offer to cook her a meal with no strings attached
If she’s feeling attracted to you again because you’ve been using interactions with her to spark her feelings (e.g. by being playful, flirtatious, teasing her in a ballsy but loving way), then the idea of having you cook her a meal at your place will feel exciting.
For example: She will likely…
- Have butterflies in her stomach due to her feeling attracted and not knowing where things will lead to.
- Be thinking, “I wonder what will happen? Are we going to end up kissing?”
- Be curious to see if you’ll be able to maintain her feelings of attraction, or go back to turning her off by being too pushy (i.e. for another chance), insecure or desperate.
When you make her feel like that but don’t expect anything back in return, it makes her want you again.
She may then begin showing signs that she’s open for more (e.g. a hug, kiss or even sex).
You can then hook up with her, blow her mind and get the relationship back together again.
8. Offer to help her complete something she has on her bucket list, with no strings attached
For example: If she always wanted to go skydiving but could never afford it, arrange for her to get that experience.
Make it a special day that’s all about her.
If she freaks out and tries to thank you, or says, “I can’t accept this. It’s too much,” just smile and say, “No, don’t thank me. I didn’t do this to make you indebted to me or feel grateful. I did it because I truly wanted you to have your wish come true. You deserve it. So just enjoy it and forget about me. I’m just here to take photos for you to post on social media.”
The benefits of saying and doing that make her:
- Connect with her feelings of love for you that she may be suppressing.
- Makes her realize that you really are a good man and she would be a fool to let you go.
- Realize that you care about her as more than just for what you can get (i.e. a girlfriend, sex). You care about her dreams in life and want her to achieve them.
That causes her to open back up to you again, rather than remain cold or distant and risk losing you and regretting it.
9. Send her a confident, loving voice text
Do that if you’re not feeling confident about her wanting to talk over the phone or in person.
Talk in a loving yet manly way, but don’t expect her to be amazed in response.
Just be confident and add in some humor, or light flirting to spark her attraction and curiosity.
Then when she responds to you, banter back and forth a few times after that initial via voice text.
Then, get on a call with her, re-attract her and get her to meet up with you in person so you can get the relationship back together again.
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