What is a man’s main role in a romantic sexual relationship with a woman?
What is the one, fundamental thing that applies all over the world, regardless of culture?
It’s to provide a feeling of protection.
When a man is able to provide a woman with a feeling of being protected by a man, it allows her to feel safe in the relationship and as a result, she will respect him, feel attracted to him and love him for that.
On the flip side, a woman’s main role in a relationship with a man, apart from cooking and cleaning, of course, is to challenge him and make him stronger emotionally.
A woman challenging her man emotionally is known as a test.
She is testing his confidence.
She’s testing to see whether he can remain emotionally strong under pressure and so on.
Her instincts drive her to occasionally test her man to see if he has any chinks in his emotional armor, if he is weak in some areas, if he needs to toughen up in some areas.
The reason why she does it is instinctive.
She has an instinctive need to want to feel protected by a man in a relationship.
If he’s not emotionally strong to the point where he can’t handle the fake pressure that she puts on him at times, then she’s not going to feel safe with him.
She’s going to feel like she’s with a man who is emotionally sensitive and needs to be patted on the back and supported at all times.
She doesn’t want to be in that situation, because it doesn’t make her feel safe.
So, occasionally, she will test his emotional strength to see how he will react.
For example: He might get himself a new shirt, put it on and show it to her.
In that moment, she could be encouraging and say, “Oh, you look very handsome, that looks great on you,” but she can also test him and challenge him to see:
- Is he going to lose confidence in himself and start becoming emotional if she doesn’t support him in that moment?
- Does he always need her constant support and pat on the back in order to feel confident about himself?
The thing is she might actually like the shirt and think that there’s nothing wrong with it, but instinctively, she will say something like, “That doesn’t look good on you” or, “You look dorky in that. You look like a nerd” or, “What are you wearing that for?” and so on, to see how a man is going to react.
If the shirt is really dorky and he knows that, then he can accept it and can say, “Yeah, well, it’s a pretty dorky shirt,” but if it’s a normal shirt, say, for example, just a plain black shirt and she’s saying, “That doesn’t look good on you, that looks nerdy,” or whatever, he can laugh at her and not take it seriously.
He can also turn the joke on her if he wants to.
“Whatever. You’re just jealous. You know I look good. You’re just too shy to admit it. That’s alright” or something like this, “Well, the fact is that I am the sort of guy that makes a black shirt look good. It’s just the way it is. Say what you want. I know I look good” or something like this. “Yeah, it’s true. I look like a total dork. I mean, who wears a black shirt? What a dork. I mean, what was I thinking to wear this? What an idiot? Black shirt. Where did I get my fashion sense from? You, huh?” or something like this, “Whatever, you’re just jealous because I look handsome today and you don’t look very good.”
He can then have a laugh with her about that and she can see that he doesn’t crumble under her fake pressure about his shirt.
He doesn’t say something like, “Well, what did you say that for? I got this new shirt. I like it. What’s wrong with it?!”
He doesn’t say something like that.
He doesn’t sulk and get into a bit of a mood.
He doesn’t get angry.
He doesn’t crumble under her pressure because he is an emotionally strong man.
Now, the thing is some guys don’t like that.
They don’t like it when a woman isn’t 100% supportive and encouraging all the time.
Some guys will say, “Well, if a woman said that to me, I’d dump her. You know, there’s no need to keep a woman like that if she’s out of line. Put her back in line by telling her to stop it and if she doesn’t stop it, dump her.”
Well, if a guy tries to use that approach with women, he will never have a happy successful relationship that lasts for life.
Women are never going to stop testing because they’re instinctively looking for that feeling of protection and safety that comes from being with an emotionally strong man.
They’re looking for that feeling of protection and safety that comes from being with a man who believes in himself and doesn’t suddenly start doubting himself because someone said, “Your shirt doesn’t look good.”
It’s just a bunch of words.
“Your shirt doesn’t look good. What have you done to your hair? That doesn’t look good.”
Whatever.
If a man knows that his shirt looks good, then he doesn’t need to start questioning himself, getting upset, feeling insecure, sulking, getting into a mood and so on.
He doesn’t need to get into an argument with his woman.
He can simply laugh at her and not take it seriously.
So, what is it about a man being able to pass a woman’s occasional tests in a relationship that makes her feel safe?
Well, instinctively, a woman knows that if a man doesn’t crumble under her pressure and he’s able to remain in control of his emotions, then other men are going to respect him.
That makes her feel safe.
She feels safe that he isn’t the sort of guy who is going to become nervous and unsure of himself around other men.
He is the sort of man that other men are going to respect and treat well and therefore she is in less danger.
Of course, we live in a modern civilized society, but you have to understand that attraction is something that is instinctive and primal.
It’s something that’s deep within the human wiring.
It’s not something that changes when we suddenly live in a civilized society that, for the most part, is safe and isn’t breaking out into riots and there aren’t hurricanes or tornadoes every day and causing people to go back to basic survival.
Just because we live in a modern civilized society, it doesn’t mean that a woman’s instinctive need to feel safe and protected by a man who won’t crumble under pressure goes away.
It always remains inside of her.
A good example of this is the former UFC fighter, Ronda Rousey.
She is a tough woman.
She could easily beat a lot of guys in a fight.
Yet, she still has her feminine side.
She still has her feminine instincts and she ended up marrying another former UFC fighter, Travis Browne.
When he was asked whether or not they were dating, because it was still a bit of a rumor at that point, he didn’t use a politically correct term like and say, “Yes, she’s my partner.”
Instead, he unapologetically said, “She’s my woman and I’m her man.”
He didn’t refer to her as his partner.
He referred to her as his woman.
Some feminist women end up watching my videos and they comment sometimes and they say that I shouldn’t be referring to women as a man’s woman.
I should say partner and all these other politically correct terms, but no, I’m not going to say that.
My woman is my woman.
She’s my girl and she gets to feel like a feminine woman, a feminine girl around me because I look at her in that way.
I don’t look at her as my equal in terms of dominance.
She is my equal in terms of importance.
She is just as important as me in the relationship.
I respect her and I treat her well, but she is not more dominant than me.
The thing is, a lot of guys run into problems when they buy into the politically correct version of relationships and they end up in a situation where they are in a neutral relationship with a woman.
The guy ends up looking at her as his equal in terms of dominance and it becomes a 50-50 relationship.
Relationships like that can last for quite a while, but the sexual spark isn’t going to be there.
For most women out there, apart from a small percentage of exceptions, they want to be in a relationship dynamic where the man is stronger than them emotionally, where they get to feel girly around him because he’s so strong emotionally.
He doesn’t crumble under pressure.
That gives a woman a feeling of being protected and safe.
As a result, she easily feels respect, sexual attraction and love for him.
One thing I want to point out here is that over the years, some guys have contacted me and said that it’s not fair how a man needs to be confident and emotionally strong in a relationship.
Some guys have said, “Why can’t a woman provide me with emotional support and help me feel better about myself when I’m feeling vulnerable and insecure?”
The thing is, a woman will do that when she is with a man who is emotionally strong and doesn’t need her emotional support.
She will see that he’s under a bit of pressure with something that’s going on in his life and she will want to provide some support.
She knows that he doesn’t need it because he’s an emotionally strong man, but she’s going to be more loving and supportive as he goes through a stressful or difficult time in life.
Yet, when a man is emotionally weak or sensitive and always needs his woman to be patting him on the back and trying to make him feel better, then she doesn’t want to do it because he isn’t providing her with that instinctive primal need to feel safe and protected in a relationship.
So, an important thing to understand is that even if you and a woman are happy and in love, her instincts are still going to drive her to occasionally test you.
She’s going to challenge you and look for chinks in your armor.
She’s going to try to find out where you need toughening up.
Can you handle a negative comment about something that you feel a bit insecure about, or do you crumble under that kind of pressure?
Do you take her words too seriously?
Do you give her too much power and control over how you feel, or can you control your emotions and be the sort of man that she can naturally feel safe and protected by?
Learn More?
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more about how to maintain and build on a woman’s respect, attraction and love for you in a relationship, I recommend that you watch or listen to my program Make Her Love You For Life.
The approach to relationships that I teach in this program brings out the best in a woman.
It makes her treat you with respect and give you the affection and love that you deserve.
She looks up to you, she respects you and she only wants to be with you.
There’s No Escape From Challenges With Women or in Life
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that there is no escaping the challenges and tests of a woman in a relationship, just like there is no escaping the challenges and tests of life.
The thing is, every challenge in your life presents you with an opportunity to become stronger as a man and to reach your potential.
You can either walk away from challenges that will get you to where you want to get to, or walk away from a woman who is testing you and trying to make you stronger.
Alternatively, you can stand up and say, “Hey, I’m going to level up. I’m going to become emotionally stronger and stronger over time.”
If you take that approach where you become emotionally stronger over time, you will see that all other areas of your life improve at the same time.
You will get promoted at work so much more easily, or if you’re in business, you’ll be so much more effective.
With your friends, with your family, they’ll respect you so much more.
You will feel like more of your real self around people because you won’t be afraid to be judged.
You’ll have that emotional strength where you can be your real self and not worry about being judged by people.
That makes you feel happier and more fulfilled as a man.
When you’re in a relationship with a woman, it makes her feel so much more attracted to you and love you for who you are, but who you are is a confident man that she can look up to and respect and that she feels safe and protected by.
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