Here are 6 ways that you can make a reconciliation happen after a break up:
Option 1: Give her up to a week of space, then start the ex back process
Giving a woman a week of space is the perfect amount of time to allow for things to cool down after a break up.
At the same time, it doesn’t give her too much time to forget about you and move on.
So, start with that.
Of course, contacting an ex after a week of space isn’t the magic answer to getting her back.
You actually have to use that week to prepare to re-attract her.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that is by…
- Focusing on building up your confidence a bit more, so that regardless of what she says or does to put you off when you interact with her after a week (e.g. she’s cold, distant, bitchy), it won’t get to you.
- Understanding that being ballsy with your humor is the best way to break down her walls and make her feel drawn to you again.
- Realizing that even though you and her are broken up, you’re good enough for her.
- Getting to the point where you feel good about yourself and your life, whether she’s in it or not. A good way to achieve this state of mind is by using the week apart to go out and do fun things, hang out with friends and prove to yourself that you can enjoy yourself even when your ex isn’t there.
When you feel better about yourself, you automatically begin to heal from the break up.
You are then ready to interact with your ex woman, re-attract her and get her back.
You should then call her on the phone and use all your new-found attraction skills to start reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again after not hearing from you for a whole week, flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you).
Then, get her to agree to meet up with you, where you can fully reawaken her feelings for you by letting her experience the new you face-to-face.
When she sees that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with (e.g. because you’re not being nervous and insecure, you’re not losing your confidence even when she’s being cold towards you, you’re making her laugh and smile), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again and possibly even being open to hugging and kissing you at the end of the meet up.
When that happens, the next step of the ex back process is sex and getting the relationship back together.
You’d be surprised at how often that happens.
Another example of how a reconciliation can happen after a break up is…
Option 2: Understand where you were going wrong, immediately start to change and improve, re-attract her and get her back
Understanding where you might have gone wrong is a very important step. Why?
It shows your ex that you’re man enough to not only admit your mistakes to yourself, but also to fix them, and all that without needing her help or guidance to figure it out.
That is very attractive to her and she automatically feels strong surges of respect for you again.
So start with that.
If you’re unsure of what might have caused your ex to feel turned off, here are some common reasons why women lose respect, attraction and love for a guy in a relationship to help you figure it out:
- He stops being confident and emotionally strong and begins to feel more unsure of himself and his value to her and as a result, he becomes clingy, needy, jealous or controlling.
- He becomes complacent about her feelings for him, so he starts to take her for granted.
- He isn’t emotionally masculine enough, so she becomes bossy and domineering in the relationship with him.
- He stops making her feel attracted and turned on by how he talks to her and interacts with her and he then ends up making her feel neutral or bored.
- He puts too much value on her and as a result he loses sight of his own identity as a man (i.e. he stops having his own goals, dreams, interests or friends).
- He stops being romantic and charming and instead starts treating her more like a friend or one of his buddies.
- He doesn’t mature as quickly as she does, so she starts to feel like he’s dragging her down.
Do any of these things ring true for you and your relationship with your ex?
If not, keep thinking about it.
Chances are, you will eventually start to see a pattern based on what you and her used to argue or disagree about and you will then have your answer.
If yes, you can immediately start improving those things about yourself.
By the way…
Once you’ve figured out where you were going wrong in the relationship with your ex, it doesn’t have to take long to change and improve.
A few days is enough to improve your ability to attract her during interactions, so that when you do talk to her, she feels a spark for you and opens back up to seeing where things go from there.
Then, once you’re ready, get her on a phone call with you, or even better, to a meet up and show her that you’re now a new and improved man (i.e. you’ve changed the things that really matter to her).
When she sees for herself that you’ve understood her real reasons for breaking up with you and have taken steps to improve on those things, she can’t stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you again.
Her defenses come down and you can then guide her back into a relationship with you.
Another example of how a reconciliation can happen after a break up is…
Option 3: Apologize for your mistakes, re-attract her and then say goodbye
Get your ex on a phone call with you, or better yet, meet up with her in person.
You can then apologize to her for what happened.
Just make sure that you keep your apology simple, to the point and you avoid groveling or putting yourself down.
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for what happened. I know I stuffed up and I regret hurting you. However, I also want you to know that everyone makes mistakes in a relationship sometimes. I’m not perfect, but then no one else is either. The good thing is that I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m not that guy anymore. Of course I don’t expect you to believe me or want to give me another chance. That’s okay. I accept your decision about us breaking up and I’m not apologizing to you for that reason. I just want to clear the air between us so that we can go forward with no hard feelings.”
By calmly apologizing to your ex woman, while being confident and mature enough to admit your mistake, you’re showing her that you’ve learned from the experience and have become a more confident and emotionally strong man than before.
This is attractive to her.
It automatically re-sparks some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you and she then allows herself to relax and enjoy talking to you again.
At this point, focus on using some humor to further break down her walls and get her thinking things like, “He’s so different all of a sudden. This isn’t what I was expecting at all. I thought he would be begging me to get back with him, but instead he’s being so mature about the whole break up. I never imagined I would be able to forgive him so easily, but I think I have.”
You then need to pull back a bit and say, “Okay then. That’s all I wanted to say. I hope you’ll forgive me and then maybe sometime in the future we can even be friends again. In the meantime, I’ll leave you alone. Bye.”
She will then feel drawn to you and feel like it’s not over because you’ve re-attracted her.
That’s when you can quickly and easily guide her back into a relationship.
Another example of how a reconciliation can happen after a break up is…
Option 4: Apologize for your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, re-attract her and get back together right away
Getting an ex woman to forgive you is a very important step if you and her are going to reconcile.
However, just saying, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” will rarely result in her sincerely forgiving you.
She might say, “Yeah, sure,” but that’s different to her actually forgiving you for real and because her forgiveness isn’t genuine, she will probably then add something like, “Look, I accept your apology and I forgive you, but that doesn’t change anything. What we had is over and nothing is going to change that.”
That’s not what you want.
So, a better way to apologize to a woman and ask her to forgive you is by telling her that forgiving you is for her own benefit.
Explain to her that if she doesn’t forgive you, she will end up holding on to the baggage of her relationship with you and it may then negatively impact any future relationship she might have someday.
BTW: Don’t worry – it’s not about helping her move on.
Instead, forgiving you for her own benefit makes her stop looking at you in a negative way because she has forgiven you for what happened.
When she goes through that emotional transition, she naturally starts to feel better about interacting with you.
You can then use those interactions to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, showing her via your actions and behavior that you’re a new and improved man now).
When her perception of you stops matching the one in her memories (e.g. she remembers you as being insecure, needy, immature, annoying but now you’re confident, emotionally independent, mature, easy-going and fun), she automatically begins to look at you with more respect.
The more she respects you (i.e. because you were man enough to quickly change and improve and become better), the more her guard comes down and she begins seeing you and even thinking about you in a romantic way.
When she starts to feel like that, getting back together is the next logical step, because the idea of losing you now is something she doesn’t even want to contemplate.
Another example of how a reconciliation can happen after a break up is…
Option 5: Never contact her after the break up and hope that she comes back to you
If a woman is being difficult, is refusing to interact with her ex and when she does she says things like, “No matter how much you stick around and try to make me to change my mind, I’m not going to. The only feelings I have left for you are negative ones and that’s not going to change. So, just accept that it’s over between us and leave me alone!” it’s only natural that he might feel a bit hopeless.
He may then start thinking things like, “If sticking around her isn’t going to convince her to change her mind, maybe I should disappear from her life entirely. Hopefully the shock of that will make her realize that she still has feelings for me and she will then begin to miss me. She will then have to contact me and we can get back together again.”
He might then stop contacting his ex for 30, or even 60 days in the hopes that this will do the trick in getting her back.
Yet, that almost never works.
Here’s why…
When a woman doesn’t have strong (or any) feelings for a guy, not hearing from him isn’t really going to be that big of a deal to her.
In most cases, rather than miss her ex who is ignoring her, a woman will think, “Cool! I’m so happy he got the message and is now leaving me alone. I can move on with my life without having to deal with a desperate ex.”
She then quickly focuses on going out more with her friends, meeting new guys and doing whatever she needs to do to move on with her life.
In the meantime, her ex waits and waits to hear from her.
He might then either find out that she’s now in a new relationship by checking up on her via social media, or through mutual friends.
Alternatively, he might decide to contact her after a few months of not hearing from her, only for her to say something along the lines of, “It’s been ages since I last heard from you, so why are you calling me now? If there was ever a chance of us getting back together, it’s gone now. I’m with someone else and I’m happy. Goodbye.”
Of course, in rare cases where a woman is still secretly in love with her ex and actually does want to get back with him, or she’s struggling to find herself a replacement man, she may actually contact him if he ignores her.
However, if she does get back with him and she realizes that in all the time they were apart, he didn’t change or improve anything about himself, she will usually break up with him again.
Then getting her back a third time becomes even more difficult.
Another example of how a reconciliation can happen after a break up is…
Option 6: Make her feel jealousy and the pain of losing you by quickly moving on without her by dating other women, accept another chance with her when she tries to get you back
Moving on with your life is a great way to make your ex want you back. Why?
When she sees that you’re not sitting around feeling sad and lonely without her and are in fact having fun and even dating other women again, she likely starts thinking things like, “Wow, he’s already managed to get himself another girlfriend so quickly. I never realized he was so attractive to other women. I hate to admit it to myself, seeing him with other women like this makes me feel jealous. I miss him. I think I made a big mistake by breaking up with him. I’ve got to get him back.”
Suddenly, the idea of losing you to another woman makes her feel attracted to you again and she might then text you or call you in an attempt to get you back.
You can then fully reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (i.e. by being more of the confident, emotionally masculine man that you’ve become since the break up) and get her back.
Warning: Make sure that you don’t pretend to be having fun and dating other women just to make your ex jealous, because if she catches you out in a lie, not only will she feel disgusted that you tried to trick her, she will also lose even more respect and attraction for you.
She may then decide to get revenge on you by blocking you on social media and her phone and also hooking up with a new guy just to make you jealous instead.
So, make sure that if you do take this option, you don’t fake it.
You need to be genuinely moving on without her and focusing on having a fun and fulfilled life without her.
She then realizes that it was her fault for letting you go and she wants you back.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Reconcile With an Ex
Breaks ups and reconciliations happen daily all over the world.
It’s actually a very common thing and when you know the right approach, it’s also quite easy to deal with.
However, if you take the wrong approach, it can cause the whole reconciliation process to either take longer than it should, or in the worst case scenario, fail altogether.
So, if you want to reconcile with your ex, make sure you don’t make any of the following mistakes:
1. Trying to reconcile without attraction
You may truly love your ex and really want her back, but unless she feels the same way about you, it’s not going to happen.
So, if you ask her to get back together again, before you first reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, chances are she’s going to respond by saying something along the lines of, “No. I’m sorry if you can’t accept it, but as far as I’m concerned, what we had is over. I don’t want to get back with you again. Please stop pressuring me to give you another chance and just move on.”
Here’s the thing…
For a woman to commit to the idea of reconciling, the feelings have to be mutual (or at least close to mutual).
It can’t be once sided (i.e. you want her back).
Instead, she has to feel as though losing you will be the worst mistake of her life.
So, if you want her back, focus on re-attracting her first.
Then everything else will happen naturally and easily from there.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Trying to reconcile via text
When a woman is making it difficult for her ex to interact with her (e.g. she won’t answer her phone, she’s cold and uncommunicative when he tries to talk to her), he might decide that texting is the only way to get through to her and convince her to reconcile with him.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for her ex, getting a text from him trying to convince her to give him another chance, only turns her off even more.
Essentially, because she can’t hear the tonality of his voice, or see his body language, she can’t gauge his state of mind.
So, rather than give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s being confident, emotionally strong and has improved in the ways that matter to her, she instead judges him based on her past experiences with him (e.g. he was insecure, needy, boring, easily manipulated by her and others).
As a result, she closes herself off and usually doesn’t even bother to answer him.
So, if you want to reconcile with your ex, you’ve got to do it in person where she can see for herself that you’re a new and improved man now.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Trying to reconcile by explaining how much she means to you and how you promise that things will be different this time
When it comes to reconciling with an ex, actions speak louder than words.
So, telling your ex that you still care for her and that you promise to be a better man won’t matter to her, if she’s lost respect and attraction for you.
She might feel a bit sad that what you and her had together is over, but it’s not going to make her want you back.
Why?
A woman doesn’t want to be with a guy because she feels sorry for him.
She wants to be with him because he makes her feel sexual and romantic feelings for him.
So, if you want to reconcile with your ex, don’t bother explaining your feelings to her and promising to change, because she’s probably not going to care.
Instead, just focus on reactivating her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you so that she begins to care.
Then the idea of reconciling will be something she wants too and you can get her back into a new and exciting relationship with you.
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