Yes, but it depends on the following:
1. If the man has changed and is now able to attract her in a more meaningful, pleasurable way
Nothing is more convincing to a woman that giving a relationship another try after years apart is what she wants, than seeing that her ex is now at a completely different level to the one he was at when they broke up.
Not only has he understood her deep, secret reasons for breaking up with him, he has also changed and improved and become a better man as a result.
So, if you want to get back together with your ex after years of separation, you need to make sure that you can give her the attraction experience she always wanted from you but never got.
For example:
- You’re more confident and self-assured now, which means you don’t react by getting jealous and feeling unworthy of her when you see her having fun without you and talking to other men.
- You’re more emotionally masculine now, which means she can relax into thinking, talking, feeling and acting like a feminine woman around you, rather than being the dominant one all the time.
- You’re more emotionally independent, which means you’re happy and fulfilled in your life.
- You’re pursuing your goals and dreams and you’re enjoying hanging out with your friends rather than being clingy and suffocating because you have anything going on in your life.
- You’re more emotionally mature now, which means you’re not wasting your life away by playing video games/watching TV/getting drunk.
- You now have so much more purpose and direction in life.
When she experiences those kinds of changes in you, she won’t be able to stop herself from wondering what it would be like to be your girl this time around.
She then drops her guard and opens up to being with you romantically and sexually.
On the other hand, if she can see nothing about you has changed and improved and that you’re still the same guy you were all those years ago, she won’t be interested in going down that road with you again.
Another thing it depends on is…
2. If the man has the balls to contact her and arrange a meet up
One of the quickest ways to get an ex back (whether it’s after a week or many years), is by calling her on the phone, re-sparking some of her feelings and then meeting up with her.
However, where a lot of guys go wrong, is by wasting too much time worrying about what she might say, or if she will reject him and not taking action at all.
She then moves on and he misses out on potentially being with the love of his life.
So, if you haven’t been interacting with your ex for many years, now is the time to stop.
You need to pick up your phone and call her right away and make her smile and laugh when she’s talking to you.
She then stops remembering the man you used to be before that turned her off and she starts focusing on the new you that makes her feel good.
When that happens, her guard comes down and she becomes open to meeting up with you to see what happens.
At the meet up, you need to keep saying and doing the types of things that will make her see that you’re a new man now and convince her to give you another chance.
When she sees that you’re being a confident, charismatic, emotionally masculine man around her, she won’t be able to stop her defenses from coming down.
She will begin imagining what it would be like if you and her got back together again after all these years and then, it’s up to you to open her eyes to the fact that falling back in love with each other will be even better than it was the first time.
Another thing it depends on is…
3. If the woman is able to forgive him for his mistakes and focus on the new version of him
For you and your ex to be able to get back together after many years, she has to be able to forgive you for your past mistakes.
Forgiveness makes a woman drop her guard and open herself back up to the idea of being with you again.
So, if your ex seems a bit reluctant to give you another chance and is possibly saying things like, “No, I don’t think we can get back together after so many years. What we had is water under the bridge now. Besides, I still remember how you hurt me and I don’t want to experience that again,” you can say something along the lines of, “I know I stuffed things up between us and I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I was a real jerk back then and I ruined what we had. However, I’m not that guy anymore. I’ve grown up a lot since then and I know I’ve become a better person. In a way, I have you to thank, because you dumping me was the wake up call I needed to pull myself together. I don’t expect you to believe me, but I really have changed and I would appreciate it if you’d forgive me, so we can both finally put all that behind us and move forward without feeling negative and bitter about the past. You will feel better and of course, so will I and we can then move forward as friends.”
If you can get her to the point where she genuinely does forgive you, it makes her drop her guard and she feels comfortable to be interacting with you again.
She no longer stops herself from feeling sexually and romantically attracted to you.
Then, the more she interacts with you and experiences the new you, the more she will like the idea of being your girl again.
Suddenly the idea of getting back together doesn’t seem as unlikely as it did before and it then happens easily and effortlessly.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Get an Ex Back After Many Years Apart
Not only is it possible for exes to get back together after years, it can actually be one of the most amazing experiences a couple can undergo in life.
However, it can also turn into a disaster, if the guy doesn’t approach the ex back process with the correct mindset.
So, if you want to get your ex back after years apart, make sure you don’t make any of the following mistakes:
1. Looking for crystal clear signals from her that she wants a relationship again
Sometimes, a guy can waste a lot of time looking for direct, clear-cut, signs from his ex that she’s open to getting back together again, even though they’ve been apart for years, before he feels confident enough to make a move and begin the ex back process.
This might be via texts, online messages or in person interactions.
Essentially he’s looking for her to come out and say something along the lines of, “You know, I can’t believe I’m admitting this to you, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all this time. I really have missed you. How would you feel about giving our relationship another go?”
He can then say, “Yes, that’s wonderful! That’s exactly what I was hoping you would say,” and they can then get back together and live happily ever after.
Unfortunately though, real life is not a romance novel or Hollywood movie and women usually don’t go about giving exes clear signals when they’re open to getting back together again.
Why?
Firstly, a woman doesn’t want to come across as being too easy and like she’s desperate to get back with her ex.
So, rather than give him a sign and help him along, she may even act like she’s not interested at all and then wait for him to make a move.
Which brings up the second reason why a woman won’t give any signs of interest to an ex…
She wants to make sure that he’s confident and emotionally strong enough not to give up at the first sign of resistance from her.
This is why, if you’re waiting for your ex to make it easy for you before you make a move, you may end up waiting for a long time and possibly even lose your chance with her (e.g. because she gets fed up with waiting for you to take action and decides to hook up with another guy instead).
Regardless of the amount of interest that your ex is currently showing towards you, it’s up to you to be emotionally strong enough to take the lead and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
Remember: Women respond positively to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, determination, perseverance, going after what he wants without giving up when things get difficult), and feel turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self doubt, giving up when things get tough).
So, stop waiting for signs from your ex to begin getting her back.
You need to be emotionally courageous and just take the plunge and make it happen.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Only acting like a friend and failing to create a spark
Sometimes a guy will interact with his ex after many years apart and pretend that he’s really happy to be her friend now.
For example: He might say something along the lines of, “It’s great to reconnect with you after all this time! I think it will be fun to hang out as friends, don’t you agree?”
He will then proceed to talk to her in a nice, polite way and not flirt with her at all.
Naturally, this causes a woman to remain closed off and distant because there’s no spark between them.
Even if she is interested in getting back together again, because he’s pretending that he’s not, she will likely think something like, “I guess it’s too late for us to reconnect romantically after all these years. He’s clearly over me now and all he wants is to be friends. Pity though, because I was really hoping we could make our relationship work this time.”
She then disconnects from her feelings for him and focuses on finding herself a new man who does want to be in a relationship with her.
The guy then feels hurt that he’s lost her again and tells himself that it was just too late to get her back, because she had gotten over him so many years ago.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that his approach was wrong.
Here’s the thing…
If you interact with your ex and pretend that you only have nice, friendly or neutral feelings for her, she’s going to respond by being your friend, not your lover.
On the other hand, if you interact with her and make her feel strong surges of respect and attraction for you (e.g. because you flirt with her to create sexual tension between you, you use ballsy humor to make her feel attracted, you’re emotionally masculine in a way that makes her feel feminine and girly around you), then she’s almost certainly going to respond in the way that you want (i.e. she becomes open to the idea of being your girl again).
So, if your desire is to get your ex back, then don’t pretend that you’re just her innocent friend who isn’t interested in her in a sexual or romantic way.
Of course it’s perfectly fine to be her friend, as long as you’re making her feel attracted too.
If you don’t do that, you will end up in the friend zone and then getting her back becomes difficult, if not impossible, because she just isn’t interested.
So, make the feelings sexual, initiate a kiss and then enjoy the great times ahead with her.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Not feeling welcome to try
When a man and a woman have been broken up for many years, the guy might assume that it’s just too late to get her back.
He may think, “What we had was just too long ago. She’s likely moved on already and even if she’s not with someone else right now, I’m almost certain that she wouldn’t want to get back with me. She will probably not like it if I made a move.”
He then doesn’t do anything to re-attract his ex and misses out on the opportunity to get her back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you don’t interact with your ex (over the phone and most importantly, in person and actively make her have feelings for you again, she probably will move on eventually and forget all about you.
So, if you want to get her back, stop trying to imagine what she might want or not want and just focus on using every interaction you have with her to re-spark her feelings for you.
The more respect and sexual attraction she feels as you interact with her, the more she will feel drawn to the idea of giving you another chance.
On the other hand, if you feel unwelcome to even try because you’re afraid she might not be interested, then you will probably waste a lot of time waiting around for her to maybe give you a sign, only to discover one day that she has moved on and is happy in a new relationship with some other guy.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Not knowing that there is a process you can follow to get her back
Sometimes, a guy might really want to get back together with an ex after years apart, but he simply doesn’t know how to re-attract her sexually and romantically.
As a result, tries all sorts of random things and gets lost along the way when she doesn’t show clear interest in having a relationship.
For example: He might…
- Text her to say hi and waits to see if her response is enthusiastic or offish before he will make another move.
- Call her on the phone and when she doesn’t answer right away, he takes that as a negative sign.
- Find out where she likes to go (e.g. a club, coffee shop) and shows up unexpectedly in the hope that she will invite him to join her, but she doesn’t.
- Send her flowers or thoughtful gifts as a way of making her open up to him, but all she does is text or message him a simple, “Thanks.”
If this has been your approach too, then chances are high that you haven’t gotten very far with your ex, right?
If so, don’t worry about it.
The important thing is that from this point onwards, you change your approach to one that will help you get your ex back for real.
For example:
Rather than texting her to say hi, you need to call her and make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you.
Rather than give up when she doesn’t answer your call the first time, call again later at a more convenient time. If she still doesn’t answer, just text her this: “Hey, I tried calling you earlier, but you must have been busy. I’ll try again in half an hour, because there’s something quick I need to ask you.”
In most cases, she will answer the next time, even if it’s only because she’s curious to find out what you want to ask her.
Rather than crash her “party” (i.e. show up where she’s having fun with her friends), invite her out for coffee.
If she seems reluctant, just say, “Hey, it’s only a cup of coffee between two old friends. We can do that now, right? Besides we have so much to catch up on.”
She will likely say yes and then you can use the meet up to reactivate her feelings for you.
Rather than give her flowers or gifts to make her want you again, flirt with her instead during interactions to create sexual tension between you.
The more you do that, the more she will want to release that tension with kissing and sex.
From there, getting a relationship becomes easy.
When you do that, you’ll be amazed by how quickly her feelings for you change.
Suddenly, she wants to be around you more and more and then getting her back becomes a forgone conclusion.
Another mistake to avoid is…
5. Not re-attracting her before telling her that you still love her and have missed her from time to time
Although the expression, “Strike while the iron is hot,” is usually good advice when it comes to getting an ex back (i.e. rather than ignore a woman to get her back a guy should take action instead), it’s not the right tactic when it comes to expressing your feelings to her. Why?
If you rush into telling your ex that you still love her and that you’ve been thinking about her all these years before you reactivate her feelings for you, she will likely start thinking something along the lines of, “That just sounds so creepy. It’s like he’s been stuck in limbo waiting to get me back. What has he been doing all this time with his life? Has he even dated other women, or has he just been obsessing over me?”
She may then pull away and refuse to interact with you anymore.
On the other hand, if you focus on making her feel respect and sexual attraction for the new, improved version of you, every time you interact with her, then by the time you tell her that you still love her, it will be the best news she ever heard.
She will feel happy, relieved and even flattered that a great guy like you never forgot her and she will want to get back together again as quickly as possible, before some other woman comes along and takes you away from her.
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