It depends on the following:
- If you are a man or a woman
Men need to take control of the situation and go through an ex back process to get a woman back, rather than being passive (i.e. waiting) like a woman would be.
In almost all cases where a woman has dumped a guy, she will rarely try to get him back via text.
Instead, she will usually sit back and wait to see if he is emotionally strong enough to send her a message first and then make her feel attracted and drawn to him again.
If he doesn’t have the courage to do that, she will lose respect for him for fearing rejection, or she will want to move on without him because she will assume that he’s not interested enough to pursue her and get her back.
Whether or not you should message your ex first also depends on this:
- If she is still attracted to you or not
If your ex isn’t attracted to you anymore, she’s probably not going to send you a message.
Some women do message an ex to simply check if he’s still interested, which she can tell by how he replies to her.
Yet, in most cases, a woman will focus on moving on and finding a new man to have sex and a relationship with.
- How easy it will be for her to move on
In today’s world, it’s very easy for a woman to find a new man.
For example:
She can use one of the many dating apps available to find guys to date (e.g. Tinder, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, Match, Hinge, Bumble and so on).
Overnight, she can have hundreds of guys interested and trying to message her.
Alternatively, if she’s attractive, guys will hit on her when she goes out to clubs, bars or parties with her friends.
Additionally, she can open up to guys she knows and have been waiting for a chance with her (e.g. a coworker, friend, ex boyfriend, friend of a friend).
10 Things That Might Happen if You Wait For Her to Message, or You Message Her First
What happens really depends on the relationship you and her had, what kind of girl she is and how you go about texting her.
For example:
1. If you wait for her to message you, she might never contact you again
That can be because she’s not attracted to you anymore and doesn’t care if you don’t contact her.
Alternatively, she might take it as a sign that you’re not interested in her anymore.
As a result, she fears getting rejected by you if she messages you first, so she never does.
That’s why, it’s always best for you to make the first move and get the ex back process started.
In other words, be a man and guide her through the ex back process, so you can actually get her back.
Don’t sit around waiting for her to man up and message you.
Take control of the situation, re-attract her and get her back while you still can.
2. If you wait for her to message you, she might text you out of curiosity, but not want you back
Sometimes a woman will wonder, “Why isn’t he contacting me? What is he up to?” and will then make the first move to get in touch with her ex.
Yet, she doesn’t actually want to get him back.
Instead, she’s just curious to see if he replies, if he’s still interested and if he has been missing her.
Regardless of how he replies, she plans on continuing to move on without him.
So, while he might think, “Yes! It worked! My ex messaged me! she will be thinking, “I’ll just confirm that he’s still missing me and then I’ll continue moving on without him.”
A woman will often do that to make herself feel better and have peace of mind that her ex still wants her back, while she moves on.
Getting a message from an ex woman like that doesn’t mean you’ve gotten her back.
It’s just a message, or a series of texts and nothing more.
3. If you wait for her to text you, she might feel annoyed and want to get revenge by getting herself a new guy
She might feel that you never really loved or cared about her or the relationship, which is why you’re now not trying to get her back, or at least message her to reopen communication between you and her.
As a result, she decides to show you that she doesn’t need you in her life by finding a new man as quickly as possible.
You then end up being the one who loses out, because she was hoping to hear from you all along and you never made a move.
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want to give her a bit of space before messaging her, then you only need to do that for a few days or up to a week at most.
That allows things to cool down between you and her, gives her a chance to miss you and also proves that you’re not being needy or desperation.
After a days or up to a week, just go ahead and message her.
Make her smile and feel happy to be hearing from you and then get to an in person meet up, so you can get her back for real.
4. If you wait for her to text you, she might see it as you being intimidated by the situation
She might assume that you’re afraid and don’t have the balls to send her a text, email or social media message, let alone get her on a phone call.
That can lead to her to decide you’re not man enough for her.
If she feels that way, she will naturally feel attracted to other men who display more confidence, self-belief and ballsiness than you have been or did in the relationship with her.
She will push herself to interact with those sort of men, in the hope that she doesn’t end up with another guy that doesn’t have the level of confidence she really wants.
This is why, you’ve got to be courageous when getting an ex back (i.e. because it displays confidence), while also using an approach that causes her to feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you (e.g. attracting her in new ways as you talk to her, letting her sense that you’ve leveled up as a man. Don’t tell her that – let her sense it).
5. If you text her first, she might not reply
That can mean she isn’t interest, or she might have another reason (or reasons) for ignoring your message.
For example:
- She doesn’t want to seem too eager to hear from you, so she ignores you to see what you will do next (i.e. Will you try again, or will you give up just because she didn’t reply?)
- She wonders if you were just testing the waters to see if she was missing you, so you could feel good about yourself.
- She’s angry with you for taking so long to message her after the break up.
- She’s confused about the meaning of your text (i.e. Are you just saying hi as a friend, or are you interested in getting her back?).
There are many reasons why a woman won’t reply to her ex right away, which don’t actually prevent him from getting her back..
So, don’t give up right away if your ex doesn’t reply.
In all ex back cases, the best option is always to remain confident no matter what and focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you.
That is what works on women.
6. If you text her first, she might reply in a cold way, but be secretly interested
This can be because she wants to test your confidence, which is why your response is so important.
The best approach is to show her that you’re not worried, or aren’t taking her cold response so seriously.
Instead, you feel confident about yourself, regardless of how cold she’s being, or how she’s trying to put you off and make you feel uncertain about your chances with her.
Remember: Women are naturally attracted to the confidence in men, so when you project a confident, self-assured energy, she will naturally look at you in a more positive light, even if she pretends not to.
Don’t be afraid to show her that you’re not intimidated by her cold, unfriendly attitude.
Likewise, don’t rely on her sending you nice, sweet, friendly texts to hopefully make you feel confident enough.
You have to have independent confidence, rather than relying on her to help you.
The more she notices that you’re not negatively affected by her coldness, the quicker she will begin to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
When she feels that, she will realize that her feelings for you aren’t dead and if she doesn’t give you another chance, she might end up regretting it and missing you for the rest of her life.
7. If you text her first, she might be excited to hear from you, but then lose interest based on what you say next
For example: You’re too serious, nice or polite, she doesn’t feel a spark with you.
As a result, she loses interest and decides that you and her are no longer compatible, or she has changed and no longer feels attracted to guys like you.
Alternatively, you start messaging her random things and she gets bored of texting with you (e.g. you text her about your day, how busy you were at work, how you got stuck in traffic, the problems you’re experiencing in life, what you’re having for lunch).
If you don’t make those mistakes, you might make the mistake of seeming to be pushing for a relationship, even though she’s not attracted to you yet.
As a result, she loses interest because she just doesn’t feel the same way you do.
8. If you text her first, she might be open to a bit of texting initially, but will want you to progress to a phone call or meet up
If you don’t take things to the next level and just stick to texting her, a woman will almost always get bored and lose interest.
In some cases, a woman will texting her ex, but will secretly begin dating and sleeping with a new man, or hooking up with new guys and will eventually say, “I’ve got something to tell you. I’ve met someone and I’m very happy with him” and then ask her ex to stop texting her.
He will then get dumped and heartbroken for a second time.
He thought he had a chance, he thought she was interested, but all he did was text.
9. If you text her first, she might want to play hard to get to see how you react
For example:
- Will you lose confidence in yourself and your chances of getting her back, if she isn’t being nice, sweet and friendly via text?
- Will you lose control of your emotions and get angry at her, or become desperate for her to show you the love you want?
- Will you lose interest and just move on with a new woman?
Depending on how you react, she will either start ignoring you and focus on moving on, or open herself up to being guided back into a relationship with you.
10. If you don’t text her first, she might decide to block you and focus on moving on
She takes it (you not messaging her) as a sign that you’re not interested in her.
So, she then blocks your number and begins moving on, rather than wasting more time waiting and feeling disappointed when she doesn’t hear from you.
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