So, does the No Contact Rule work?
The No Contact Rule is about stopping contact with your ex for 30 to 60 days after a breakup.
What I’ve found is that in most situations, cutting off contact (and ignoring any attempts from her to contact you) is way too much time.
It results in the woman moving on or getting used to not having her ex in her life and being fine without him.
In some cases, a guy can get his ex woman back simply by not contacting her.
She won’t be able to deal with the pain of not having him in her life.
She won’t be able to deal with the fact that he isn’t contacting her.
It’ll hurt her so much that he’s just not around and she’ll decide that she has to get him back even though he turned her off and she didn’t want to be with him at the time of the breakup.
However, in most ex back situations, what a woman does is that she holds on to the reasons why she broke up with a guy.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was too emotionally sensitive, he was too insecure and became jealous and clingy and needy, then she’s going to remember that about him.
It doesn’t matter if he stops contacting her for 30 or 60 days. She’s going to remember him as being that type of guy.
She’ll remember him being that type of guy leading up to the breakup, during the breakup and potentially for a little while after the breakup until he stopped contacting her.
In cases like that, if a guy wants to get his woman back, he has to interact with her to provide evidence to her that he’s no longer like that.
It’s not about calling her and telling her, “Hey. I’m no longer like that. I’m not insecure anymore. I’m confident now.”
That doesn’t work.
What it’s about is interacting with your ex and letting her experience the new and improved you for herself, letting her see that no matter what she says or does when she’s talking to you, you don’t get thrown off by it.
You don’t lose confidence in yourself.
You always remain confident, even if she is being cold, distant or indifferent at times when talking to you.
You’re able to get her laughing and smiling and feeling good when she’s talking to you on the phone or when she’s talking to you in person.
You’re able to create that spark of attraction inside of her.
You allow her to see that you are different and more importantly, she feels differently when she interacts with you.
When a guy uses that approach, he can get his ex back so much more quickly.
He doesn’t have to sit around waiting for 30 or 60 or 90 days, hoping that she is going to forget about his negative qualities and want him back, purely because he isn’t contacting her anymore.
What I’ve found by working on ex back cases for many years now, is that some women are ready to get back with their ex right away if he changes and re-attracts her, some women need a few days to calm down and be ready to interact with their ex and some women need about a week to calm down and be ready to interact with their ex.
What I’ve also found is that when a guy waits too long to contact his ex and start the ex back process, she either moves on or she gets used to not having him in her life and she’s fine without him or she actually feels disappointed that he didn’t follow through and try to get her back.
So, what I’ve always recommended is that a guy can either get his woman back immediately if he is able to be that confident, emotionally strong man and re-attract her, or he waits 3 to 7 days.
He gives her that space for 3 to 7 days.
In pretty much every case that I’ve worked on, a guy has not needed to wait more than 3 to 7 days.
Giving her 3 to 7 days proves the point.
It proves that he’s not being needy and desperate and trying to chase her down.
He’s in control of his emotions and he’s giving her some space after the breakup.
After the 3 to 7 days, what a guy needs to do is interact with her and create a spark of attraction.
He needs to make her feel something for him again.
He needs to make her feel that renewed sense of respect and attraction.
As a result, she can see for herself that she feels differently about him now. When she interacts with him, she smiles, she laughs, she feels good.
She feels attracted to him.
By the way…
When a guy is giving his woman up to a week of space, he doesn’t just sit around doing nothing.
What you need to do when you’re giving your woman that initial space after the breakup is get yourself back to a point where you are emotionally attractive to her again.
What often happens is that when a guy gets dumped, he becomes emotionally unattractive to his ex.
Being emotionally unattractive is about being insecure, doubting yourself, being emotionally sensitive, appearing rejected, hurt and lost without her.
It’s also about extreme behaviors such as begging and pleading, being clingy, being needy and being desperate.
So, to get a woman back, what you need to do is be emotionally attractive to her again.
Being emotionally attractive is about being confident when you interact with her, feeling worthy of her, being able to joke around and make her laugh and make her feel good when she’s interacting with you.
Over the years, many guys have contacted me asking, “Why haven’t I got my ex back after ignoring her for 30 to 60 days? I thought that using the No Contact Rule was the best way to get an ex woman back.”
The reason why it doesn’t work for so many guys is that the woman isn’t attracted to him anymore when she breaks up with him.
Without having feelings of attraction for him, she doesn’t really have much or any motivation to want to get back with him.
Why would she want to get back into a relationship when she knows that the guy she dumped isn’t going to be able to make her feel attracted in the ways that she really wants him to?
So, a question that I’ve got for you at this point is that if you have been using the No Contact Rule on your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, has it resulted in you getting her back?
If not, you really have to have a think about what you’re going to do instead.
If ignoring her isn’t working and she’s totally fine without you, then she doesn’t really care.
She’s fine, she’s over it, she’s going to move on, she’s not really going to be looking back with much positivity.
She’s focused on the negatives.
She’s sticking with her decision to break up with you and she’s moving on.
If you want her back, you have to make her feel something for you again.
In particular, you have to make her feel attracted to you again.
Sexual and romantic attraction is what makes a man and a woman want to be together and want to stay together.
If your ex doesn’t feel sexual and romantic attraction for you, then not contacting her is almost certainly not going to result in her running back to you, begging for another chance and wanting to be with you.
However, when you use a different approach and you interact with your ex and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, then she feels like the relationship between you and her isn’t finished.
It’s not over.
There’s something there.
What you need to do at that point is to build on her feelings for you when you interact with her.
You also need to have the confidence to keep going and push through her potential initial resistance and get her back into a relationship.
Sometimes, for example, a guy got dumped because he used to become very agitated and angry at his woman in the relationship, so when he’s getting her back, she’ll be a little bit resistant, she’ll be cold, she’ll be distant, she’ll act confused as a way of seeing whether or not he’s going to become agitated and angry.
In other cases, a woman will be acting distant and cold and confused about her feelings because she wants to test whether or not her guy now has enough confidence in himself, whether he feels worthy of her.
So, if she’s acting distant and she notices that her ex guy is doubting himself, she will see that he hasn’t really changed.
He still doesn’t have the type of confidence that she’s looking for in a guy.
He’s not going to be able to make her feel attracted in the ways that she really wants him to.
As a result, she won’t want to give him another chance.
He has to be able to show her that no matter what she says or does, he doesn’t lose confidence in himself.
Over the years, what I’ve found is that a very small percentage of guys will get their ex back simply by not contacting her.
However, the vast majority of guys who have contacted me and have said, “Hey. I used the No Contact Approach,” then go on to say that it didn’t work.
She either didn’t contact him or she did contact him and she had already moved on, or she had no interest in being with him when she contacted him.
Alternatively, she didn’t contact him and simply moved on without him.
So, it’s up to you what you want to do.
You should trust your gut instinct.
If your gut instinct tells you that if you stop contacting her, she’ll go crazy and miss you and chase you down, then great – go ahead and use the No Contact Rule.
Just stop contacting her.
Let her live in that misery and she’ll contact you and then she’ll beg for another chance. Fantastic.
Yet, if your gut instinct is telling you that she doesn’t feel attracted to you now, she doesn’t want to be with you and she’s probably not going to care if you stop contacting her, then I don’t recommend that you use the No Contact Rule.
You should trust your gut instinct.
If you’re pretty much certain that she’s not going to care, then what you need to do is make her care.
The only way to make her care is to interact with her and create a spark inside of her.
Make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Make her have some feelings for you again.
When you do that, it then doesn’t feel like it’s over to her.
There’s something there between you and her.
She’s feeling something for you again.
She’s feeling drawn to you.
She’s thinking about you and missing you.
You have reactivated her feelings and as a result, you have opened up the opportunity of having a relationship together again.
All you need to do at that point is be confident and guide her back into a relationship.
Learn More?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you need more help to get your ex back and you’d like to follow a step-by-step system to get her back, I recommend that you watch my program Get Your Ex Back Super System
When you follow the steps of this system, you will get another chance with her.
This is about getting her back now, not waiting around for 30 days, 60 days or 90 days.
This is about getting her back now.
When you watch the program, you will learn what to say and do to re-attract her, to make her have feelings for you again, to bring her guard down and make her want to have a relationship with you again.
Don’t Be Afraid to Contact Her and Start the Ex Back Process
You might be worried that she won’t be interested in you if you contact her.
She will.
She might act a little bit cold and distant initially, she might have her guard up, but as long as you are focused on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you, then she is going to feel something for you.
She’s going to enjoy talking to you.
You’re going to get her laughing and smiling and feeling good when she’s interacting with you.
You’re then going to get her to meet up with you, you’re going to make her feel even more attracted, she’s going to forgive the mistakes that you made before, she’s going to want to explore her new feelings for you, you’re going to hook up with her and you’re going to get her back.
She’s your woman, so get her back.
Don’t sit around wasting time, hoping that she’s going to come back if your gut instinct is telling you that she’s not going to.
If your gut instinct is telling you that she doesn’t care and she’s going to move on, I recommend that you do something about it.
Go and get her back.
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