Here are 5 possible reasons why:
1. She’s just saying that to see if she can control you
Sometimes a woman will say and do thing to see how much control she can have over a man.
In your case, she has dumped you and you really want her back, so she might just be saying that you didn’t care enough, to see how much power and control she can gain.
She will try to make you to feel like you really need her, so she can feel safe getting back into a relationship with you and not have to worry that you will immediately or quickly dump her to regain the power position.
So, a woman will say things like, “You didn’t care enough about me” or, “You treated me like crap” to see how her ex will react.
- Will he beg and plead for her forgiveness?
- Will he ask her what would make her happy and then do everything she asks?
- Will he try to make it up to her by buying her flowers, expensive gifts and making himself available to her every whim?
- Will he let her get away with disrespecting him because he’s now too afraid to stand up to her?
- Will he become desperate as he tries to impress her and get her back?
- Will he stop being the cool, confident guy that she fell in love with?
If he gets caught up in feelings of desperation and allows her to control him, she will lose respect for him and close herself off even more.
On the other hand, if he stands up to her (in a loving, but dominant way), she will realize that she can’t control him because he is emotionally stronger than her.
This will automatically spark her feelings of respect and attraction for him again.
Why?
Women feel respect and sexual attraction for men who are emotionally stronger than them and feel turned off by guy who are emotionally weaker.
So, the next time your ex says something along the lines of, “I don’t know if I can ever give you another chance. You didn’t care enough about me before. I just can’t trust you,” rather than do what most guys do (e.g. apologize over and over and promise to make it up to her), use it as an opportunity to re-attract her instead.
For example: You can laugh and say, “I never realized you were such a little drama queen. You poor little thing. I treated you so badly. What a horrible boyfriend/husband I was. Okay, how about this? From now on, I will tell you that I love you every minute. I’ll just keep saying I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll even text it to you when we’re not together. I’ll also call you in the middle of the night to tell you…and if that isn’t enough, I’ll shout it out the window for everyone to hear. Then you won’t be able to say that I don’t care. So how about it? I’ll start right now. I love you, I love you, I love you!” and then laugh at her (for complaining about your behavior in the first place) and with her about it.
Initially, she might be a bit shocked that you’re not allowing her to control you and she may even say something like, “How dare you make fun of my feelings like that.”
Just remember though…
That’s only another way of asserting her control over you.
Women always test the confidence of men and this happens even more when you are an ex.
If you lose confidence, start doubting yourself and then apologize to her for joking around, she will think, “Aha! He was just putting on an act of being more manly. In reality though, I can easily control him because he’s still a bit of a wuss. All I really need to do is push him a bit and he crumbles. He’s not a man. He doesn’t get it” and she will then lose even more respect for you.
On the other hand, if you maintain your confidence and then say (in a loving, gentle way) something along the lines of, “I’m not making fun of your feelings. In fact, I acknowledge that certain aspects of my past behavior may have made you feel unloved and unappreciated. However, that wasn’t the case at all – I really did love you. No matter what has happened between us, my love for you has never changed or diminished. Of course, you probably won’t take my word for that and I understand. So, how about we just hang out as friends for a while and get to know each other over again with a clean slate? Then, if you still feel as though I am a terrible guy who doesn’t care about you, I will walk away and leave you alone forever. I promise.”
By saying something like that to her, you’re establishing your role as a loving, dominant man, which automatically changes the way she perceives you.
Even if she tries to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you, she won’t be able to.
She will respect you and feel attracted to you for not allowing her to push you around, but while also still being a good, loving man.
You’re being masculine and assertive, but you’re not being an asshole.
As a result, she will feel differently and begin to drop her guard.
Based on her renewed feelings for you, she will almost certainly open herself up to the idea of being friends for a while to see where things go, rather than cutting you out of her life completely and losing you forever.
Note: It’s totally fine to be her friend, but just don’t act like an innocent friend who pretends not to be interested in her in a sexual or romantic way.
Make sure that you flirt with her to create sexual tension and always focus on making her feel sexually attracted every time you interact with her.
Another possible reason why your ex might be saying that she dumped you because she thought you didn’t care enough about her, is…
2. You spend too much time on work, study or hobbies
If a guy mainly focuses on himself (e.g. going to the gym, hanging out with his friends), his work, studies and interests, then his woman might eventually start to feel as though he is taking her presence in his life for granted.
Essentially, she fades into the background of his life and is expected to sit around and wait for him to notice her when he has the time.
When a woman feels unloved and unappreciated by her man, she will eventually become unhappy with what she perceives as his unfair treatment of her.
Initially, she might drop hints about her feelings by saying things like, “You’re always so busy with work. I never see you these days. Why don’t we spend more time together?” or “I know your studies are important to you, but even when you’re finished with exams, you always seem to be busy doing something else. I hardly get any time with you anymore,” or “I’m glad you enjoy your work, but you have to make time for our relationship as well y’know?”
He might brush her concerns away by saying something like, “Oh, you’re just being silly! You know that I love you. I just have other things on my mind right now, that’s all. We will spend more time together in future. For now, I have to…”
Of course, saying something like that to a woman only makes her feel even more misunderstood and unappreciated.
She knows that so many other men would love to be in a relationship with her, would treat her well and would make her feel loved and appreciated.
So, if she isn’t feeling loved and it keeps going on and on like that, she will eventually want to dump her guy and find a new man who will make her feel loved and appreciated.
Of course, that doesn’t mean a woman wants her man to make everything about her and base his whole life on pleasing her.
Not at all.
The fact is, when a man has focus, direction and a clear purpose in life outside of the relationship (e.g. he is striving to achieve a big goal or dream), it’s actually something that makes him more attractive to his woman and to other women.
His woman feels safe being with him because she can see that he’s not just drifting through life and hoping that things will someday work out for him by magic.
He is a go-getter and is making things happen like a real man does.
Women love that.
So, don’t think that you have to base your life on your woman and give her all your time and attention.
Not at all!
You just have to make her feel loved, appreciated and wanted when you do spend time with her.
You don’t have to put a lot of effort into it and take it on as another chore you have to do in life.
Instead, you just have to be genuine about your love for her, your commitment to her and your happiness about being with her.
So, make sure that you understand me clearly: You don’t have to give her all of your time and attention.
As a man, the majority of your time and attention should be on achieving your biggest, goals and dreams in life.
However, when you do spend time with your woman, make it quality time (i.e. love her, be there, care, be good to her, have fun).
Another way of saying this is that it’s perfectly fine for your work/studies/purpose to be the most important THING in your life, as long as she feels like the most important PERSON.
Remember: You don’t want to neglect the other areas of your life to focus all your attention on her, because that will most likely cause you to become needy and clingy, which will turn her off.
Just take a balanced approach to how much time you give to her and your purpose in life.
Be serious, genuine and real about both your purpose (i.e. your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions in life) and your relationship with her.
That’s the secret.
So, if your ex dumped you because she thought you didn’t care enough about her, it could be because you didn’t make her feel like the most important person in your life, which caused her to feel unvalued and unappreciated.
If you did that, don’t worry.
Don’t let your past mistakes cause you to lose the confidence that your ex originally felt attracted to and fell in love with.
Don’t start putting yourself down, blame yourself for everything that happened and feeling unworthy of her now.
You are worthy of her.
Yes, you made some mistakes, but you can’t go back into the past and change things.
What’s done is done.
What’s important now is how you proceed from this moment onwards.
Another possible reason why your ex might be saying that she dumped you because she thought you didn’t care enough about her, is…
3. You didn’t let her express her emotions like a woman and wanted her to be more like you
Men and women are different and that is a good thing.
It’s the difference between the energy, physical appearance and behavior of men and women that attracts them together.
Some guys either aren’t aware of that, or they forget it when in a relationship and end up trying to force their woman to think, feel, behave and act more like a man.
When a guy does that, she then stops feeling attracted to him and funnily enough, he stops feel as attracted to her too.
So, it’s absolutely essential that when in a relationship, you always encourage and allow your woman to think, feel, behave and act like a woman.
Embrace and celebrate the differences between you and her, rather than fighting against it and trying to become more like each other.
For example: Generally speaking, men are more logical in the way that they think, compared to women.
Men say what they mean, get to the point and don’t need to talk about their feelings in 2-hour phone calls with their buddies.
When a guy decides to discuss a problem with his woman, it’s usually because he’s trying to find a solution as quickly as possible, or he already has a solution in mind and just wants to talk about it.
On the other hand, most women are a lot more emotional in how they think, compared to men (generally speaking of course).
Women tend to make decisions with their heart rather than their head and almost never say exactly what they mean (e.g. she’ll say things like, “I’m fine,” when she’s annoyed about something, or “It’s okay with me,” when it isn’t).
If a woman shares a problem with her man, it’s usually because she wants to talk it out, get it off her chest and just vent a little.
Essentially, she wants to express how she feels about the problem, talk about it and not rush for a solution.
Unfortunately, a guy sometimes doesn’t understand this fact about women.
So, a guy will make the mistake of wanting his woman to think, act and behave more like him (e.g. be more logical, less emotional, more practical and swift in her decision making).
For example: If she’s feeling emotional about something, rather than just letting her express herself in a feminine way (e.g. cry, throw a tantrum, get emotional) he says things like, “Oh, don’t worry. You’ll be fine,” or, “Why are acting you like this? Grow up. Can’t you see that there’s no point complaining about something? You’ve just got to fix the problem. What are you going to do about it? There’s no point going on and on about it. What are you going to do about it?”
He’s right, but that’s not what she wants when she talks to a man that she’s in a sexual, romantic relationship with.
Women are expected to be logical, practical and efficient in the workplace, but in a sexual, romantic relationship with a man, she wants to be free to be a real woman (i.e. be feminine, emotional, irrational).
When she brings up a problem, a woman usually just wants him to listen and let her vent her feelings about the situation for a while.
If he doesn’t offer her that type of relationship experience, she will start to get frustrated and feel as though it just can’t work between them.
She may then start thinking to herself, “He’s not letting me be myself. The longer I stay with him, the more he’s going to try and change my personality and be like him. He just doesn’t care enough about me to let me be who I want to be. I can’t take it anymore. I need to get away from him before I lose myself. I want to feel like a real woman again. I just can’t feel that way when I’m around him.”
She will then break up with him and say that she thought he didn’t care enough about her to listen to her complaints about his behavior.
At the time, it may not make a lot of sense to the guy being broken up with, but it will make full sense to her.
If you can relate to that, don’t worry – many guys make the same mistake.
To get her back, you need to show her (via the way you respond to her emotional outbursts, how you now talk to her, how you approach interactions with her) that you now accept her the way she is.
It’s not about letting her disrespect you, treat you badly or take advantage of you in any way.
Not at all.
Instead, it’s about letting her be the emotional, irrational and complicated woman she really is, deep down.
Most women don’t want to admit that because most guys will assume that it means she is stupid, bipolar or in need of psychological help.
She doesn’t want to be looked down on like that, just for being a typical woman.
Instead, she wants her man to have the balls to face the storm of her random bursts or irrational femininity (i.e. tantrums, creating unnecessary drama, being overly sensitive about things), rather than getting angry at her, demanding that she be more like him or walking off in a huff.
So, in terms of your ex…
Regardless of whether she’s crying, throwing a tantrum or being cold and bitchy when you interact with her, you just need to maintain your confidence and allow her to be a woman.
She will instantly begin to realize that you’re not asking her to stop acting the way she is and are allowing her to be your opposite (i.e. feminine to your masculine) for once.
The longer you interact with her, the more keen she will become to give you and her another chance.
After all, she will know that it’s pretty much next to impossible to find a man who can handle the feminine outbursts of a woman.
Another possible reason why your ex might be saying that she dumped you because she thought you didn’t care enough about her is…
4. You didn’t make her feel confident around your friends or family
Some guys have a close, loving relationship with their family and friends.
They’re always calling each other on the phone, doing things together, or just hanging out with one another.
Naturally, there’s nothing wrong with that at all and most women like to know that their guy has a close network of friends and family that he can turn to in case of an emergency.
Yet, a woman doesn’t want to feel like she’s not included or as though she’s an unwelcome outsider.
This is where some guys go wrong.
Some guys get so caught up hanging with their friends and family, that they fail to notice their woman is feeling insecure or left out.
She might then say something like, “Your friends/family don’t like me,” or “I feel uncomfortable around your friends/family lately,” in the hopes that her guy will understand her feelings and make her feel more confident and included the next time they’re all hanging out together.
However, if he brushes her off by saying something along the lines of, “Don’t be silly. Everyone thinks you’re great. You just need to try harder to fit in. You’re always just sitting in the background being so quiet. Why don’t you just join in? Speak up next time and join in on the conversation” she may then start to wonder if he really cares about her at all.
Why?
She’s not asking him to tell her to man up.
She’s expressing her feelings and saying that she feels uncomfortable.
She’s hoping that he makes the effort to help her feel more confident, included and respected the next time they’re hanging out with his family and friends.
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that in most cases, women are a lot more insecure than men.
For example: More women suffer from anxiety, depression and obsessive compulsive disorders (related to their looks) than men.
So, even though your ex might have seemed very confident in her general life (e.g. at work, around close friends) deep down she may have felt insecure, nervous and like she didn’t fit in when it came to interacting with your friends and family.
As the man, it’s your responsibility to make your feel included, taken care of and valued when she is with you.
You don’t have to babysit her or work hard to make her feel included.
Instead, you just need to give a crap about her.
Make her feel included, confident, safe, happy and loved and she will do the same back for you.
On the other hand, if you don’t make her feel that way, she will feel unloved and may then decide to break up with you to find a guy who will appreciate her.
Another possible reason why your ex might be saying that she dumped you because she thought you didn’t care enough about her is…
5. You expected her to do things for you as though she is your servant just because she’s your girlfriend or wife
Many guys believe that the love between a man and a woman will last for life, because it was great at the start of a relationship.
Yet, it just doesn’t work that way.
Watch this…
For a relationship to last a lifetime, the love, respect, attraction and appreciation that you feel for each other must be deepened over time.
If you fall into the trap of taking each other for granted, one or both of you will eventually want to leave the relationship.
Here’s the thing though…
Even though some women will lead the way and ensure that a relationship works, it’s actually a man’s responsibility.
It’s not a lot of hard work.
You just need to give a crap about her, your relationship and your future together.
If you do that, then everything will be fine.
Yet, if you feel as though she should be happy because things used to be good, then you’re going to end up disappointed when she leaves.
Of course, you already know that feeling because it has happened to you.
You may have treated her really well initially, but you gradually stopped putting in the effort, right?
Don’t worry – so many guys make that mistake.
Most guys have no trouble at all showing a woman how much they care for her during the dating phase of the relationship, but after a while (i.e. when the initial thrill wears off), he will begin to take his woman’s love and devotion to him granted.
For example: A guy might become lazy and selfish (e.g. because this was the behavior he learned at home by watching the interactions between his father and mother, or this is how all of his friends treat their women).
He might then develop an expectation that his woman serve him and do whatever he wants, just because they are in a relationship.
When she realizes what has happened, a woman will feel a bit shocked and disappointed at her man’s change in behavior.
Initially, she may come up with excuses for him by thinking things like, “He’s probably just having a bad day,” or “It must be all the stress at work that is causing him to treat me this way. When things calm down, he will realize his mistake and will feel really bad about it. He will then make it up to me and show me that he truly does love and appreciate me.”
Yet, when she realizes that he’s not changing and improving, she will eventually get fed up with his bad treatment of her.
Her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him will begin to fade and she will eventually dump him for not caring enough about her.
So, if your ex dumped you because you were taking her for granted, to get her back, you need to show her that you’ve fully understood where you messed up and have changed and improved as a result.
Important: It’s not about SAYING that you’ve changed or promising you will never treat her badly again.
Instead, it’s about interacting with her in a mature, loving way and SHOWING her via your actions that you’re now a new man.
In fact, it you try to SAY that you’ve changed and really sell yourself to her, she will feel turned off by your desperation and keep her guard up.
She will wonder if it’s all just an act from you now and when you get her back, you will gradually go back to not caring enough about her again.
So, make sure that you avoid trying to sell yourself by SAYING that you’ve changed.
Instead, SHOW her that you’ve changed and let her feel differently as a result.
Showing her that you have changed is about interacting with her and allowing her to experience the changes in you.
She will sense the changes based on how you now talk, think, feel, behave and act and will decide for herself whether or not it is genuine.
So, if you want to get her back for real, make sure that you really make changes or improvements before you speak to her again.
Other guys have gotten their woman back in the same or a similar situation to yours.
You can do it too.
You can get her back.
You can make her love you even more than she did before.
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