4 possible reasons why a woman will do that:
1. To see if you become desperate
Sometimes a woman just wants to see how much power she has over a guy.
As a way of testing him, she will say something like, “I’ve waited too long for you to commit to me for real. You promised to divorce your wife and still haven’t done it, so it’s over between us.”
The wrong reaction for a guy to have at that moment is to panic and quickly start making crazy promises to her like, “Please don’t give up on me. I promise that I’ll get the divorce done right away. I’ll call my lawyer today and ask him to rush the process.”
She then says, “No, it’s not good enough. You had plenty of time to do it and you didn’t, so it’s over.”
He might then ask, “What else do you want me to do to prove that I’m serious about us? Just name it and I’ll do it. Please don’t do this. I don’t want her. I only want to be with you.”
Yet, by doing that, rather than make her think, “Awww… that’s just so sweet. He obviously really cares for me after all. I guess I’ve been too hard on him. He definitely deserves another chance,” she will actually begin to lose respect and attraction for him.
Why?
If you become desperate with your girlfriend (e.g. beg and plead with her to give you another chance, offer to do anything she wants), you are failing her confidence test.
She was initially attracted to the challenge of stealing you away from your wife, which made you seem more desirable.
Now, by being desperate and essentially pleading with her not to break up with you, she has gained way too much power in the dynamic, so the challenge isn’t there anymore.
Here’s the thing…
Although a woman might give the impression that she wants to be the one in control of a relationship, in reality, she’s won’t respect a guy who gives her too much power over him, no matter how unreasonable or ridiculous she is being.
So, what should you do instead?
Rather than get sucked into the fake drama that she is creating to test your confidence and sense of self-worthy, just turn the situation into an opportunity to attract her even more.
For example: Imagine that you’re talking to your girlfriend on the phone and she says something like, “I don’t having anything more to say to you. You had your chance and blew it by taking too long to finalize your divorce with your wife. It’s over between us, so please leave me alone.”
Yet, in the back of her mind, she will be wondering, “Will he lose control of his emotions and resort to begging and pleading in the hope that he can convince me to give him another chance? Will he become desperate and put up with my bad behavior just to get me back? Will he ask me to marry him to get me back? What does he really think of himself? Is he really as confident as he has seemed all this time?”
If you panic and plead with her, she knows that your confidence isn’t real and has only been there because of how much she has been pursuing you all this time.
On the other hand, if you laugh and jokingly say something like, “You’re such a terrible actress! You know you love me,” and then laugh at her and with her about it.
She might then act like she’s shocked and say something like, “No, I don’t! That’s where you are wrong!” or even hang up the phone.
Yet, even if she doesn’t show it, deep down she will be feeling respect and sexual attraction for you because you didn’t become desperate and suddenly hand over all of your power to her.
She will then realize that regardless of her behavior (i.e. her attempting to dump you for taking too long to finalize the divorce with your wife), you have still managed to remain perfectly confident and know that you are more than good enough for her.
Women love men with that type of confidence, especially when the man is also a good man (i.e. not an asshole or jerk who would continue to treat her badly).
When you’re a good man with that level of confidence, women simply can’t get enough of it.
As for your ex, she won’t be able to stop herself from reconnecting with the original feelings of respect, attraction and love that she felt for you.
When that happens, getting her back becomes easy.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend dumped you for taking too long to finalize the divorce with your wife is…
2. To regain some self-pride
Although most people are more open-minded in today’s world when it comes to relationships, there is still a bit of a stigma attached to women who date married men.
A woman might not care about that initially, but eventually, she can get tired of being seen as the other woman.
Her friends, family and coworkers can begin to push her to ask for more than just a relationship on the down low, or on the side.
They might say things like, “You deserve better than a jerk who won’t commit to you. Can’t you see he’s just stringing you along? He’s not really going to divorce his wife for you…you know that, right? He’s just going to keep you around for a good time. Where’s your self-pride, girl? Why are you letting him do this to you? You deserve so much better than to be his side girl.”
To regain some pride and feel better about herself, she may then decide to dump him and try to move on to finding herself a guy who doesn’t have all the baggage of going through a complicated divorce.
Her ex guy might then make the mistake of thinking, “She’s just being an emotional woman. She probably feels like I’m not giving her enough attention right now and is likely also feeling a bit jealous of my wife, too. To soften her up, maybe I need to send her some flowers or buy her a pretty gift to show her that she’s special to me. That will calm her down.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Buying gifts for a woman who feels like she’s lost her sense of pride is actually one of the worst things a guy can do.
Rather than make her think, “Wow, he must really love me if he’s spoiling me in this way. I was so silly to break up with him,” she will think, “So, now not only am I the other woman in his life, he’s also trying to buy me. If he wants that arrangement, why doesn’t he get a prostitute? What kind of person would it make me if I changed my mind over a bunch of flowers or some trinkets? I would never be able to respect myself again if I did that. No, my mind is made up. It’s over between us. I need to find a guy who actually wants to be with me and only me.”
So, what should a man do instead?
Remain calm and interact with her in ways that cause her to feel like she would be missing out if she let him go.
For example: Being very confident, charismatic, emotionally masculine and funny.
When a guy is being like that during interactions with a woman, she cannot stop herself from feeling attracted to him.
If you do that and then pull away for a few days, she will miss you and want to see you.
Then, you can contact her, make her feel attracted on a call, get her to meet up with you and hook up with her again.
At that point, she will be feeling confused and will ask you if you’re making any progress with the divorce.
Hopefully, by that point, you will have some additional news to tell her that will satisfy her.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend dumped you for taking too long to finalize the divorce with your wife is…
3. She is tired of being your 2nd woman
If you’ve ever competed in a sport that you really want to win at (e.g. a race, a football game, a tennis match), you may have experienced the dissatisfying feeling of coming in second place.
There’s nothing wrong with coming in second every now and again, but all the time?
That sucks.
Get where I’m going with this?
Put yourself in your girlfriend’s shoes for moment.
Coming second place to your almost ex wife from so long will have made her feel that way for quite some time.
Most women are happy to put up with it initially, because they are excited to be stealing a high quality man away from his wife.
It’s just how some women are.
However, there’s only so long that a woman can continue to feel happy about being the woman on the side.
At the end of the day, a woman wants to know that she’s the most important person in her man’s life.
Although she’s happy for him to have goals and a purpose that are the most important things in his life, she needs to get the sense that she’s the most important person in life.
So, if a guy is taking too long to finalize the divorce with his wife and is making excuses like, “She is refusing to sign the papers. You need to be patient. I’m working on it. I spoke to my lawyer again today” or “I’m pushing as hard as I can to get this done. It’s not up to me. You just need to wait. It will happen when it happens,” a woman will eventually start to feel like the second most important person in his life.
She may then start losing respect for him for not being the kind of man who can get things done.
When a woman starts thinking that way, it won’t be long she starts seeing other reasons why he’s not the kind of man she wants in her life.
For example:
One of the reasons he isn’t finalizing the divorce with his wife, could be that he’s actually too wimpy to stand up to his domineering wife.
Another reason could be that he’s not a man of his word and actually has a habit of lying and breaking his promises.
Alternatively, he might simply be delaying the divorce as an excuse not to commit to her because he can’t be bothered going through with it and just wants to keep having sex with her for a little while longer.
If one or more of those reasons apply, she then begins to wonder, “Is this really the man I want to commit to? Is he really the best I can do for myself?” and breaking up suddenly seems like the best option for her.
When she dumps him, the guy might then start promising the world to her if she will just wait a little longer.
He might say things like, “If you just wait until my divorce with my wife is finalized, I promise we can go out and buy your dream house and we can then move in together. You can pick whatever you like and I’ll make sure you get it.”
Alternatively, he may even start promising that he will marry her and possibly even buy her an engagement ring as proof of his commitment.
However, while a woman might be tempted by his promises, the more he tries to suck up to her, the less attracted she feels (i.e. because he’s not the confident, challenging guy that she fell for originally).
So, rather than promising your girlfriend that you’ll do anything she wants to get another chance, just focus on making her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with you (i.e. like she’s the most important person in your life and like you’re the kind of man she can look up to, respect and feel proud of).
Do that in a calm, confident manner, rather than panicking or giving her the impression that you’re trying really hard to get her approval now.
When she can see that you are calm, confident and in control while also being loving and attentive to her, she will begin to question whether or not she wants to continue on with the break up.
As a result, her defenses will come down and you can then get her back.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend dumped you for taking too long to finalize the divorce with your wife is…
4. She has met someone else who is available and also makes her feel attracted
When a woman finds herself in a relationship that isn’t providing her with the kind of attraction experience she really wants, she will eventually become vulnerable to outside influences (i.e. other guys hitting on her).
Even though she might be a really good woman with strong values and is usually very loyal, if she then happens to interact with another man (e.g. at work, university, the gym) who makes her feel just as or more attracted than you do, then she will begin to open up to him instead.
If he also happens to be available for a monogamous relationship and she gets the impression that she will get what she wants (e.g. to be first in his life, to not have to wait for him to commit), she will dump her married boyfriend and start a relationship with the new guy.
Her ex can still get her back at that point, but he has to approach the situation calmly and confidently.
For example: Not knowing what else to do, a guy will often begin to panic and behave in a desperate manner as he tries to get his ex girl back.
He might write her a letter, send her a card or write her an email and say something like, “I’m so sorry for hurting you. I know that you don’t believe me anymore, but the divorce is happening now. She means nothing to me. You are the one I want. Please don’t give up on me. This guy will never love you the way I do. I promise that I will finalize the divorce with my wife within the next week and we can be together. Just give me a chance to show you that you are the one I want. I love you more than I’ve loved any other woman in my life, especially my wife and I promise that I’ll prove it to you if you give me one more chance.”
He hopes that he’s saying what she really wants to her, but in most cases, it’s not.
Why?
Firstly, women are not attracted to emotional weakness (e.g. desperation, insecurity, self-doubt) or emotional dependence in men, so she will actually feel turned off by his approach.
Secondly, because she no longer feels enough respect and attraction for him to justify sticking with the relationship, she isn’t very interested or impressed by his declarations of love for her, or his promises to change.
For his love to be welcomed and appreciated, the feelings have to be made mutual first.
It cannot be a one sided effort to get the relationship back together.
He has to make her want him again first (i.e. by interacting with her and properly reawakening her feelings for him), rather than trying to convince her to give him another chance because he wants it so much.
Making her reconnect to her feelings first gives her a reason to want to give you another chance (i.e. she wants you again now), rather than feeling like you need her to give you another chance because you want her.
So, if you want your girlfriend to choose you over her new guy (if she has one), don’t worry about telling her how much you love her.
She’s not going to care about that until you make her feel strong rushes of sexual and romantic attraction for you again.
When she feels that, she will stop worrying about the divorce proceedings and surrender to the joy of feeling so attracted and in love with you.
If she has a new guy, his flaws will suddenly become clear to her and she won’t want to be with him anymore.
By the way…
If your ex currently doesn’t have a new guy, then don’t waste anymore time.
Get her back before you have to also get the new guy out of the way.
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