Don’t worry – you can still get her back.
Many guys who have been much more jealous than you have been able to get their ex woman to forgive them and give them another chance.
To help you understand how to get her to forgive you and want to give you another chance, you first need to clearly understand why being too jealous will often lead to a break up and what to do instead.
Here are 5 reasons why being too jealous will often lead to a break up:
1. It gives her power over you that she doesn’t want
A man can create a relationship dynamic with his woman that makes her want to be a good woman to him and do things to please him, or make her lose so much respect for him that she ends up looking down on him and not caring about his feelings.
In a case where a guy becomes too jealous in a relationship, it’s usually a sign that he doesn’t have a lot (or any) confidence in himself and in his value to his woman.
So, although initially a woman might feel a bit flattered that her guy values her so much that he gets jealous when other guys talk to her or show interest in her, over time, his jealousy will begin to annoy her.
She will sense that it stems from his insecurities about himself and his value and attractiveness to her and she will begin to wonder things like, “Maybe he’s not man enough for me after all. Maybe I can do better for myself.”
Then, to test him, she might go out of her way to flirt with other guys in front of him to see how he will react.
If he maintains his composure and even laughs at her for being a silly girl, she will automatically feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him for being a confident, emotionally strong man.
However, if he loses command of himself and gets into a jealous rage, she will know that she can control him with her behavior (i.e. make him feel insecure and doubt his attractiveness to her).
She may then do more and more things to spark his jealousy, because she now knows that she has power over him (e.g. if he does something to annoy her, she might make him jealous to get revenge, or if she wants him to bend to her will she will behave herself to get her way).
Of course, just because she can control him with her behavior, it doesn’t mean she wants to.
Here’s the thing…
A woman wants to be with a man that she can look up to and respect, not a guy she can control and manipulate with her behavior (i.e. make him jealous), because he doesn’t believe in himself enough to trust her to be loyal to him.
So, if you want to re-attract your ex and get her back, you need to show her that you’ve changed.
That doesn’t mean you say something like, “I know I was jealous before, but I’ve changed all that and I’m better now. Just give me another chance and I’ll prove it to you,” because she will probably not believe you.
Also by saying that to her, you’re giving her power over you again by asking for another chance.
What should you do instead?
Firstly, you need to get to the point where you truly believe in yourself and in your value to your ex and to other women.
When you become confident and self-assured, you stop thinking that another guy will steal your woman, because you know that she won’t find a better man than you.
You are a catch and she would be crazy to let you go and even if she did, you will easily find yourself another, even more beautiful woman than her, while she will be the one regretting her actions.
Secondly, you need to respond differently to your ex during interactions.
For example: Imagine you’re on a phone call or at a meet up with her and she says something along the lines of, “What have you been up to since we broke up? I’ve been having so much fun. I’ve even been on a few dates,” to make you jealous.
Although the old you would have probably gotten upset and even angry with her, the new you simply laughs and says something along the lines of, “Good for you! You’re an attractive woman, so I would be surprised if you weren’t dating.”
In other words, take control of the situation in an assertive manner and show her that you’re not going to lose control or feel insecure like you used to.
When she sees for herself that she no longer has power over you, the more respect and sexual attraction she will begin to feel for you again.
Her walls will begin to crumble and then the process of getting her back becomes easier because she is feeling open to you.
Another reason why a woman will break up with a guy for being jealous is…
2. It makes her feel like she has to take care of you emotionally
For a woman to maintain respect and sexual attraction for a guy, she has to feel as though he is the man and she is his girl.
So, when a guy becomes jealous and controlling in the relationship with her and she then has to continually say things like, “Why are you behaving like this? Why don’t you trust me? I chose you and I’m here with you. You know that I love you and that I would never do anything to hurt you. You have nothing to be jealous about. You’re my guy and I want to be with you and only you. I promise there’s no one else in my life or my heart,” to calm him down, she will get very tired of always having to reassure him and take care of him emotionally.
Here’s what you need to remember…
It’s a man’s emotional strength that attracts a woman and allows her to relax and be the feminine woman that she really wants to be in a relationship (even though most women don’t openly admit that).
So, if her guy is always losing control of his emotions (i.e. by getting jealous) and needs her to reassure him and make him feel safe in the relationship with her, she won’t be able to relax and fully be herself with him.
Instead, she will always be on guard around him and worry that something she says or does might set him off again.
She won’t be able to look up to him as her emotionally strong, confident man and instead will look at him as a guy that she needs to take care of and support emotionally.
Women hate that.
As a result, her feelings of attraction and love will begin to fade away and she will want to get out of the relationship and away from her jealous guy.
So, if your ex currently thinks you are too emotionally immature for her, what you need to do is reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you again by showing her (via the way that you talk, think and behave) that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with.
When she can see for herself that you really are different now (e.g. more confident, emotionally strong and emotionally mature), it becomes more difficult for her to keep pushing you away, because you’re not the guy that she remembers.
She then opens up to talking to you more on the phone and seeing you in person to see how she feels.
Another reason why a woman will break up with a guy for being jealous is…
3. It makes her worry about how you might behave in the future
Although having a jealous boyfriend might be flattering to a woman in the beginning of a relationship (e.g. because it shows her that he really does like her), over time, she may begin to worry what will happen if they stay together in the long term.
For example: She might think something like, “In the beginning, he got a bit jealous of other guys looking or talking to me. However, over time, he’s gotten worse and he’s now checking my phone, social media accounts and e-mail messages. We’re fighting more frequently and I’m always afraid to talk to other guys, even colleagues at work, in case he gets mad and then I have to deal with another argument or him sulking. I’m tired of always having to defend myself to him, even though I haven’t done anything wrong. Not only that, I worry that eventually he might become violent towards me. I really do care for him, but I can’t deal with his jealousy anymore. It’s just too stressful being in a relationship with him.”
As a result, she decides to break up with him and move on.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you need to first fix the real cause of your jealousy.
You need to realize that jealousy is something that comes from an insecure way of thinking.
Fortunately though, insecure thoughts are self-created, which means that you can change your way of thinking (e.g. “She’s going to cheat on me” or, “She’s a beautiful woman and other guys want to steal her from me”) and create confidence instead.
When you think in a confident way (e.g. “Yes, she is a beautiful woman, but I’m a great guy and she’s lucky to have me”), you naturally become a confident man and you eventually get to the point where you no longer experience jealousy, because you know you are good enough for her.
As a result, you begin to think, act, behave and respond differently when you interact with your ex.
She picks up on your confidence and self-belief and she naturally starts to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you again.
You can then easily get her back, because that’s what a confident, emotionally strong man believes he can do.
Another reason why a woman will break up with a guy for being jealous is…
4. It makes other guys seem more attractive if they are more confident than you
Most women like the idea of being with a man they can look up to, respect and feel proud to be with.
So, if a guy is always getting jealous and as a result, throwing tantrums, sulking, or trying to control what she wears, who she talks to and where she goes, she will start to feel stressed and unhappy in the relationship with him.
Then, if other guys that she interacts with (e.g. at work or university) happen to be relaxed, easy-going and confident around her, she will naturally begin to feel drawn to them in a way that feels good to her.
She may then begin to think things like, “Why am I wasting my time trying to make things work with a guy who is so jealous and controlling, when I can easily find myself a more emotionally mature man who won’t lose it every time I happen to mention another guy’s name? I don’t have to put up with this. I can do better for myself.”
Then, rather than put up with his jealousy, she will simply break up with him and say, “I’m sorry, but you’re too much of a jealous guy for me. I just can’t handle your issues anymore.”
She will then open herself to meeting, hooking up with and dating other guys who can attract her by being confident and emotionally mature when they’re with her.
Another reason why a woman will break up with a guy for being jealous is…
5. It makes her feel like she has become your purpose in life, which she doesn’t want
Sometimes, a guy becomes jealous in his relationship with a woman, because he’s made her the centre of his world.
For example: He might…
- Stop focusing on his goals and dreams and say to himself something like, “I’ll get back to those things someday, but right now my relationship comes first. My woman is more important than anything else.” Alternatively, if he doesn’t have any big goals that he’s working towards achieving in his life, he may think, “I don’t need anything more than my woman. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and everything else is a distraction from her. Besides, when you’re a couple, you can’t have your own goals and dreams, instead you must both want the same things.”
- Give up his hobbies or interests to spend even more time with her.
- Stop hanging out with his friends, unless his girl can come too.
- Get upset when she wants to go out with her friends without him, or pursue a hobby or interest without including him.
- Feel like he can’t be happy and fulfilled in his life without her.
Yet, that’s where he’s wrong.
Contrary to what he believes (i.e. that a woman wants to be her man’s main focus in life), his woman will usually feel smothered and turned off by his needy, clingy, insecure and controlling behavior.
She will then naturally begin to lose respect and attraction for him as a man.
Here’s the thing…
A woman wants to be with a man who is happy, confident and moving forward in his life with or without her.
She doesn’t want to feel as though she has to continue reassuring him and propping him up, while at the same time holding herself back (i.e. not enjoying her life, avoiding her friends, giving up on her hobbies and interests) to keep him happy, confident and forward moving.
This is why, if you got dumped for being too much of a jealous guy in your relationship, to convince your ex that you’ve changed and get her back, you have to show her that you’re an emotionally independent, emotionally strong and emotionally masculine man now.
You need to focus on becoming genuinely happy and independent in your own life first.
When you get to the point where you can genuinely say to yourself, “Yes, I want my ex back, but I don’t need her back to feel good about myself and my life,” you will know that you’re now ready to re-attract her.
Then, when you interact with her, she will see that you’re not the same guy she broke up with and have become more emotionally controlled and balanced.
This will make her begin to feel some respect and attraction for you again and then getting back together again becomes something she opens back up to.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Getting Dumped for Being Too Jealous
So, you got dumped for being too much of a jealous guy.
That was then, but this is now.
You’re not that guy anymore, which means you can get your ex back based on the man you have become.
You can re-attract her, make her feel respect and sexual attraction for who you are now and get her back.
This is why, not making any of the following mistakes is a crucial step to getting your ex to believe that you’re no longer the jealous guy she dumped and reactivating her feelings for you:
1. Hoping that apologizing over and over will make her forgive you and want you back
Of course you should apologize to your ex if you haven’t already done so.
However, saying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” over and over again isn’t going to change how she feels about you and want you back.
Why?
Even though you obviously regret how you behaved and your apology is genuine, apologizing over and over doesn’t actually prove anything to her (i.e. that you really have changed).
Instead, as far as your ex can tell, it’s just a bunch of words designed to make her forgive you, even though you haven’t really gotten to the core of the problem (i.e. your jealousy).
As far as she’s concerned you’re still stuck at the same level you were at when she dumped you and until she can see obvious changes in you (e.g. you remain calm and composed when she talks about other guys or even flirts with them in front of you), your apology will mean nothing to her.
So, don’t bother apologizing to your ex woman again and again.
Instead, give her one brief, sincere apology in a calm, confident manner and then focus on showing her via your actions, behavior and the way you respond to her from now on, that you truly are a new and improved man.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Promising that you won’t be a jealous guy anymore, even though she can sense that you haven’t really changed
As the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”
So, you saying that you won’t be jealous anymore will mean nothing to your ex (i.e. because you’ve likely said that to her many times before), unless she can see for herself that you’ve changed.
If she interacts with you and tests you (e.g. she talks about how much fun she’s having going to clubs and bars and meeting new guys now that you’ve broken up, mentions that there’s a guy at work/university that’s asked her out on a date, flirts with the waiter/barman in front of you) and she notices that you’re getting upset or annoyed but you’re trying to hide it from her by pretending that you don’t care, she will instantly know that you haven’t changed.
She will then close herself off from you even more and say something along the lines of, “Look, I know you mean well, but you and I are wrong for one another. We seem to bring out the worst in each other and that’s not how a relationship should be. We gave it a shot, but it didn’t work out. Let’s accept that and move on.”
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Feeling unwelcome to get her back because of how badly you behaved
Many guys make the mistake of becoming very jealous with their woman.
It’s a common error and not something to be ashamed of.
Instead, it’s something to learn from and something that can cause you to quickly become a more emotionally strong man and never make that mistake again.
However, don’t expect your ex to care that you have learned from your mistake, because she won’t.
At least not unless you first show her that you’ve changed via your actions, behavior and the way you respond to her and react when she’s having fun without you, talking to other guys or doing things that used to set you off in the past and then sparked her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
When she can see that you’ve truly changed and she also feels respect and attraction for you, she will easily and naturally open back up to her feelings of love for you.
So, don’t ruin your chances of getting your ex back by thinking that she won’t be interested because you stuffed up before.
That was then.
This is now.
You’re a new man.
When she can see that for herself, she’ll be grateful that you kept your cool, didn’t give up on your love and got her back.
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