Here are 6 of the most common reasons why a woman will want her ex boyfriend back after leaving him.
1. She wants to keep you around a little longer and prepare herself to break up with you for real next time
Sometimes, a woman might break up with a guy, only to realize that being single and not having a guy around who is devoted to her and desires her is not something she enjoys.
If she then also discovers that she’s struggling to find a suitable replacement guy, she may decide to try and get her ex back, while she secretly prepares herself to move on for real (e.g. by finding herself a new man first).
She might then say to him something along the lines of, “I’m so sorry. I think I made a mistake by breaking up with you. I want you back.”
Of course, in a lot of cases, this is the best news a guy has ever gotten.
After all, he’s still in love with her and wants her back too, so he quickly agrees.
They then get back together again.
Except, while he’s thinking that everything turned out perfectly and that he’s happy again, she’s usually plotting the next break up (e.g. she’s going out with her single friends to places where she can meet new men, she flirts with guys that she thinks are interested in her, she joins an online dating site or goes on an app like Tinder).
If she then finds a man who sparks her feelings in the way that she wants, she will quickly dump her guy again by saying something along the lines of, “This isn’t working out. I thought we could make our relationship work but it’s not. I’m sorry, but I’m leaving you and this time it’s for real.”
She can then freely move on with her new man, without having had to deal with being single.
You probably don’t want that to happen to you.
So, if you want to get back together with your ex, make sure that you don’t put yourself in the position to get dumped by her again when she finds a new man to replace you with.
How can you do that?
By taking control of the situation.
You need to make sure that you re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you during interactions and make her fall back in love with you, before she starts moving on.
When you do that, the idea of leaving you to chase another guy will disappear from her mind, because she can see that no one else can make her feel the way you do.
As a result, she will want to hold on to you and be a good, loving devoted woman, so that you won’t leave her.
2. She is still attracted to you and doesn’t want to regret breaking up with you and seeing you move on with another woman
Sometimes, all it takes for a woman to realize that she still feels attracted to her ex and wants to be with him, is for her to suddenly be faced with the idea of losing him to another woman.
For example: She might go out to a club or a party with her friends and realize that he’s there too and he’s laughing, smiling, dancing and even hugging and kissing another woman.
Alternatively, she might check up on him on social media and see that he’s posting photos of himself doing fun things with new women.
She might even hear about how he’s getting on with his life without her and is happy and fulfilled through mutual friends.
Whatever the case, the idea of him moving on with other women can cause her to realize that she still has feelings for him and doesn’t want to lose him.
She may then start thinking things like, “I really thought I could move on without him, but I realize now that I still feel attracted to him and the idea of him being with another woman makes me feel sick to my stomach. I also feel like I missed something about him… maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe I rushed into breaking up with him without giving him a chance. All I know is that I want him back now. I don’t want to wait and risk him finding a new woman. I need to get back with him before it’s too late.”
This can then prompt her to text, call or even go to a place where she knows she will bump into him and say something along the lines of, “I think I made a mistake. I want you back.”
In a case like this, it’s up to you to decide if you want to get back with your ex girlfriend or not.
However, if you do, make sure that you will be able to give her an upgraded attraction experience this time around, so she never wants to leave you again.
If you’re unsure of how to do that, here are some questions that can guide you into saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel strong surges of attraction, respect and love for you.
For example: Ask yourself…
- Do I maintain my confidence with her, regardless of how she behaves or what she says to make me feel unsure of myself with her (e.g. she’s cold and distant during interactions, she pretends not to be interested in me anymore to see how I will react)?
- Do I make her feel sexy and desirable, or does she feel friendly or neutral feelings, or even worse, turned off, when she’s with me?
- Does she feel like she needs to be on her best behavior around me to impress me and prevent me from wanting other women, or does she feel like she can do whatever she wants, take me for granted and treat me badly because she knows that I will take it and continue to suck up to her to keep her interested in me?
- Do I stand up to her in a loving, yet assertive way when she’s behaving badly, throwing a tantrum and being out of line, or do I give in to whatever she wants and try to appease her even though I know what she’s doing is wrong?
- Am I the more emotionally dominant one, or do I hand my power over to her and let her walk all over me?
- Do I believe in myself and in my value to her, or do I feel that she’s out of my league?
- Am I emotionally independent and have my own goals, dreams, interests and hobbies, or have I made her my whole world and become clingy, needy and insecure?
As long as you focus on improving your ability to attract your ex girlfriend based on who you are when you interact with her, getting her back becomes easy.
She actually wants to get back together again as quickly as possible, because she doesn’t want to lose a catch like you to another woman who comes along and realizes your value.
3. She believes that you can fix your mistakes and improve, so it’s worth giving the relationship another chance
Clearly, there are some things about you that made your ex girlfriend want to break up with you.
However, at the same time, she still feels enough respect and attraction for you to not want to walk away for real.
It’s quite possible that deep down, she believes that you and her can work things out if you really want to and she’s willing to give it one more try.
So, if you want to get back with her into a relationship that lasts this time, it’s very important that you understand what caused her to leave you in the first place.
What you shouldn’t do is just say something along the lines of, “Oh, okay. Let’s get back together,” and then do nothing to build on her feelings for you.
If you approach the relationship with the same mindset and attitude you had previously, it probably won’t last very long (i.e. because you will likely continue making the same attraction mistakes that turned her off before).
This is why you really do need to make some adjustments to your approach to attraction and give her the love experience she really wants from you.
For example: Some of the things that can turn a woman off about her guy and make her leave him are…
- He started out confident and self-assured, but over time he became more and more insecure, needy and clingy.
- At the beginning of the relationship, he was a bit of a challenge to her, so she felt as though she needed to put in the effort to keep him interested in her. Yet, over time, he became too boring and predictable, so she stopped wanting to impress him and started to take him for granted instead.
- At the start of the relationship, he made her feel like a feminine, desirable woman in his presence, but over time, she started to feel more like his neutral friend or roommate.
- Initially, he took the lead in the relationship, but eventually, he became more submissive and allowed her to make all the decisions and be the boss (e.g. because he believed that is what she wanted to feel happy in the relationship with him).
- When they met and started going out, he was an emotionally independent man with dreams, interests and friends independent of her. However, once in the relationship with her, he became more of loner and put all his focus on her, thereby causing her to feel smothered by his emotional dependence on her.
- Initially, he was a cool guy who believed in his attractiveness and value to her, but slowly he started to worry about losing her and as a result, he became jealous, overprotective and controlling.
- Initially, he put in a lot of effort to make her feel loved and appreciated (e.g. by pulling his weight in the relationship, noticing her efforts to look good for him, helping out with chores), but eventually, he fell into a rut and began to take her for granted.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these mistakes?
If you do, good.
That means you now have a better idea about what may have caused your ex to break up with you.
You can then change your approach and go back to giving her the attraction experience she fell in love with at the beginning of your relationship, only better.
Then when you interact with your ex girlfriend and she sees that you are not only still making her feel attracted in the ways that she always liked (e.g. you make her laugh and smile, you’re loving and attentive, you’re ambitious and driven), but you’ve also improved some of the things about you that turned her off (e.g. you are more ballsy now, you’re more confident and self-assured, you’re less emotionally dependent on her) she won’t be able to stop feeling surges of sexual and romantic attraction for you again.
She then wants to be your girl again and be good to you, because you are now the man she always wanted you to be and she wants to make sure that she holds on to you.
Another possible reason why your ex GF wants you back after leaving you is…
4. She can see that you are doing fine without her and it has made her feel rejected and left behind
Even though a woman might be the one who breaks up with a guy, it doesn’t mean she likes the idea of him being able to move on and be happy and live a good life without her.
If she notices that he’s not feeling lost and broken without her and is having fun and enjoying himself, she may then begin to think, “I really thought he loved me and that he would try to get me back, but he’s not even grieving now that we’ve broken up. Instead, he seems to be just fine without me. Maybe he didn’t love me that much after all. Maybe he was actually glad I left him.”
She might then decide to try and get him back, to make herself feel better (i.e. by knowing that he still wants her even though she broke up with him).
The truth is, even if a woman seems very confident about herself and her attractiveness to her ex and to men in general, deep down she might be feeling insecure about her ability to attract a new guy and move on.
So, if she then notices that her ex is actually the one moving on first, she might tell him that she wants him back to prevent him from finding another woman before she finds herself a new guy.
She will then break up with him again when she’s ready (i.e. when she has a new guy lined up), knowing that she’s the one who rejected him, rather than the other way around.
Of course, that’s not very nice and you probably don’t want to think that your ex is just saying she wants you back simply because she feels rejected and left behind, but it is possible.
The good news though, is that if you want her back, you can get her and keep her.
You can build a new and improved relationship with her and make her want to stay with you for life.
You’re actually the one who has the power to do that.
When you reactivate your ex GF’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for you and create a relationship dynamic that makes her want to be good to you, treat you well, be affectionate and be loving towards you, while you also treat her well at the same time, then she never feels the need to break up.
She only wants to be in a committed relationship with you, because that’s where she feels the happiest and most fulfilled.
5. She has realized that the breakup was partly her fault and if she approached the relationship differently, it would have worked
In some cases, a woman might break up with a guy in the heat of the moment (e.g. during a fight, when she’s really angry with him over something he did or didn’t do), only to realize that she didn’t think things through.
Yes, he made a mistake, but she made mistakes too.
For example: Common mistakes a woman might make in a relationship are…
- She causes too much drama over irrelevant things and then that leads to arguments and fights.
- She is too involved with work /her studies and she ends up neglecting her guy and putting him in second place in her life.
- She spends almost all of her free time hanging out with her friends, or chatting on social media, rather than spending time with her guy.
So, when a woman realizes that she wasn’t the ideal girlfriend to her man and that she still loves him because he’s a good man, she may regret breaking up with him and tell him she wants him back.
If this is why your ex girlfriend wants you back, it’s a good thing.
Not only does it mean that she is admitting responsibility for her mistakes, she’s likely also willing to put in the effort to be a better girlfriend to you this time around if you give her another chance.
Of course, if you agree to give her another chance, don’t make the mistake of constantly throwing the breakup and her past mistakes in her face, or start treating her badly to get revenge.
If you do that, she will probably not stick around for very long regardless of how much she still loves you.
Here’s the thing…
In a relationship, you have to be able to trust, forgive and support each other fully or else it simply won’t last.
So, even though you might have a good reason not to trust your ex (i.e. because she left you even though you weren’t entirely to blame), if you’ve made the choice to take her back, then for your sake as well as hers, you need to forgive her and stop holding on to the past.
Then, just focus on making her feel strong surges of sexual and romantic attraction for you again, so she never wants to leave you again.
Instead, she wants to be a good, loving, devoted woman to you and make you happy, because she knows that you’re worth holding on to.
6. The guy she had lined up turned out to be a dud
If a woman is in a relationship where her guy makes her feel loved, appreciated, sexy, desirable and wanted, she naturally feels motivated to be a good, loyal, loving woman back to him and make him happy too.
However, if her man creates a relationship dynamic that continually erodes her respect, attraction and feelings of love (e.g. because he’s insecure and that makes him clingy or controlling, he treats her badly and takes her for granted, he doesn’t grow up and become more of a man), she will feel less motivated to want to stick in the relationship with him.
As a result, she might begin to compare him to other men in her mind (e.g. she may look at the boyfriends or husbands of her girlfriends or coworkers and notice that they treat their women better than she feels her guy is treating her).
This can lead to her feeling resentful towards her guy and as a result, she begins to pull away and disconnect from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
Of course, initially, she might try to make him change by complaining to him about how she feels, but if he doesn’t pay any attention to her and continues to think, talk, act and behave in the ways that are turning her off, she will start to feel less of a need to work on the relationship or even be faithful to him.
Then, if she happens to meet another guy (e.g. at work, university, in the neighborhood, through friends) who sparks the feelings that she’s craving (i.e. attraction, respect, desire, excitement), she may then decide to dump her guy for the new man.
Yet, once the initial thrill of being with someone new wears off, she might realize that she made a big mistake by dumping her ex.
For example: She may notice that even though her new guy was really nice to her to begin with, he’s now become too wimpy and soft and it’s driving her crazy.
Alternatively, she might realize that although she was initially attracted to her new guy because he made her feel more desirable and sexy than her ex, now that the newness has worn off, she’s starting to notice things about him that she overlooked (e.g. he’s jealous and controlling, he doesn’t have any real focus or direction in his life, he’s emotionally closed off).
As a result, she begins to feel turned off by him.
At the same time, she starts to remember all the good things about her ex that she misses (e.g. he was funny and made her laugh and smile even when she was angry or sad, he was self-motivated and ambitious, he was kind and gentle, he took good care of her) and she realizes that she made a mistake.
She might then decide to try and get her ex back, rather than stick with a guy who is a dud.
So, if you and your ex girlfriend want another chance with you (even though she may have left you for another guy), it’s up to you to decide if you want to take her back.
Then, you need to either actively make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you during interactions, so she never feels the need to look at another man, or alternatively, you can choose to walk away from her and find yourself another high quality woman to get into a relationship with.
The choice is yours.
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