Here are 5 possible reasons why an ex girlfriend will do that:
1. She is testing you to see if you can now stand up for yourself in a dominant, but loving way when talking to her
A woman will often do that if one of her main reasons for breaking up with her man was because he was too emotionally weak and she felt more emotionally dominant than him (i.e. she could control him).
So, to see if he’s changed and stopped being such a push over around her, she might act like a bitch towards him during interactions and insult him when they talk on the phone or in person.
If he gets upset with her and maybe even says things like, “Why are you being so mean to me? Why do you always have to insult me when we talk? I know I made some mistakes, but I said I was sorry. What can I do to prove it to you and make you stop treating me this way?” she will automatically know that he’s still stuck at the same level he was at when she broke up with him.
She can then move on without any regrets.
On the other hand, if he handles her insults in a calm, confident, emotionally mature way and even laughs at her (in a loving way) for being so mean to him, she will naturally begin to feel surges of respect for him again.
She will appreciate the fact that he has leveled up since the break up and is now able to approach her bad behavior in a dominant, but loving way.
He’s not getting angry at her, he’s not being overly domineering and he’s not being nasty in return for her nastiness.
Instead, he’s maintaining his cool and reacting to her nastiness with loving dominance, which shows her that he loves her, is a good man and isn’t intimidated or angry by what she is saying or doing.
This makes her respect him.
When she respects him again, she will also begin to feel sexually attracted to him and with those two things in place, reconnecting with her original feelings of love for him then becomes possible.
Of course, a woman won’t only test to see if a guy will stand up to her if he was emotionally weak before.
In some cases, insulting her ex is a woman’s way of checking to see if he’s become a wimp since the break up, especially if he’s been sucking up to her and being extra nice in the hope of getting her back.
Remember: The majority of women want to be with a man who is more emotionally masculine than her and who can take the lead in a relationship, thus allowing her to relax into thinking, talking and behaving like a real woman around him (i.e. feminine, girly, emotional, in love).
If a woman gets the sense that her ex is going to continue being emotionally soft and will let her dominate him just to get her back, she isn’t going to feel motivated to give him another chance.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to stop insulting you, the first step you need to take is to stop allowing her to get away with her bad treatment of you.
That doesn’t mean you should insult her back or behave in a rude or vulgar way.
Instead, you just need to firmly, yet lovingly put her in her place and let her know that it’s not okay for her to talk to you that way.
Then add some humor to ease the tension and turn a difficult situation into an opportunity to spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
From there, you need to take the lead in the ex back process, build up her feelings for you and get her back into a relationship where the dynamic is the way it’s supposed to be (i.e. you’re the more emotionally dominant one and she’s the more submissive one)
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend insults you when you talk is…
2. She is trying to get revenge for how you made her feel in the relationship
Sometimes a woman might want to get revenge on her ex for the pain he caused her during the relationship, so she treats him badly and makes a point of insulting him.
She may even say to herself, “He was such a jerk to me. Now is the time to give him a dose of his own medicine and see how he likes it when he gets treated like crap. I bet he’s not going to like that!”
Essentially, she’s likely hurting and she wants to lash out at him to make him feel what she felt when she was with him and teach him a lesson.
Yet, she’s only doing that because the guy is usually letting her get away with her bad treatment of him (e.g. because he thinks he deserves it, he’s too afraid to stand up to her in case she cuts off all contact with him, he believes that if he’s really nice to her she will eventually stop insulting him).
Yet, that almost never happens.
Instead, she continues being mean to him and he keeps letting her do it to him.
Unfortunately though, that’s not going to help with getting her back.
This is why, if you want your ex girlfriend to stop insulting you and start opening back up to you, you need to change how she feels about you.
You need to make her stop thinking about taking revenge on you and begin wanting to give you another chance, because she feels so drawn to you again.
So, focus on using your interactions with her to spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, regardless of how much she’s insulting you.
When she realizes that no matter what she says to upset you or hurt you, you just remain confident and relaxed, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling surges of respect for you again.
When that happens, she will also start to feel attracted to you again and then her walls will naturally come down.
You can then hook up with her sexually one more time.
Sex speeds up the process of reconciling the relationship.
It doesn’t fix everything, but it’s one part of the ex back process that you need to make sure you include along the way, if you want to get her back for real.
3. She is trying to show you that she no longer cares enough about you to be nice
In most cases, by the time a woman gets to the point where she’s breaking up with a guy, it means that she has already disconnected with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, when she interacts with him after the break up, her feelings for him are so switched off, that she doesn’t feel the need to be nice to him.
At the back of her mind she may even be thinking things like, “He deserves to be treated this way after how he behaved. I don’t owe him anything and I sure don’t need to be nice to him. If he doesn’t like it, then he should go away and stop contacting me.”
Of course a lot of guys don’t realize this and they end up feeling hurt and wondering things like, “After everything we shared together, I don’t understand why she’s being so bitchy to me and insults me when we talk.”
The reason is this: If a woman doesn’t have strong feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for a guy and he does nothing to actively spark those feelings inside of her, she has nothing to make her feel motivated to be nice to him.
This is why, you can’t sit around expecting your ex girlfriend to care that she’s insulting you and become nicer to you on her own, because she probably won’t.
That is, not until you reawaken her feelings for you, so she starts to feel drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her.
When you approach the ex back process in that way, your ex girlfriend will naturally stop insulting you, because it won’t feel like the right thing for her to do anymore.
She will then drop her guard when she talks to you and you can then confidently build up her feelings for you and guide her back into a relationship with you.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend insults you when you talk is…
4. She is testing to see if you will lose control and get angry
There are several reasons why a woman might try to trigger a man’s anger.
For example: A guy might have anger issues and it’s one of the things that led to the break up.
So, to make sure that he’s changed before she opens herself back up to him (i.e. because most guys say they have changed to convince their ex to give them another chance), a woman might decide to test him first by pushing all his anger buttons (e.g. insult him, act cold and distant, tell him that she will never forgive him for what he did to her).
Depending on his reaction she will know if he’s really changed and then decide to try again with him, or move on and make a clean start with someone else.
Another reason why a woman might test a guy to see if he’ll get angry or lose control of his emotions, is if he had a bit of a temper before and she’s worried it can lead to more serious things (e.g. he becomes violent) and she wants to be sure first before she opens herself up to him again.
A third reason why a woman might behave this way is because she’s actually hoping that her ex will lose it, so she then has another reason not to get back with him.
She can then say something like, “How can you ask me for anther chance after the way you got so angry with me? I would be crazy to get back with you after that. I’d spend most of my time worrying that if I said something to annoy you, you would lose control and possibly even hurt me. No thanks! Your reaction was the proof I needed to show me that I made the right decision by breaking up with you. So, please don’t try to call or see me again.”
So, as you can likely see, it’s very important that you maintain your composure around your ex, regardless of what she says to upset you.
Then, you need to turn her insults into laughter and smiling and begin reactivating her feelings for you, so that she will start to doubt her decision to break up.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend insults you when you talk is…
5. She is abusing her position of power now that you want her back so badly
When a break up happens and a guy feels mostly responsible, he’s usually very remorseful about it.
As a result, he might take all the blame for what happened on himself and allow his ex to insult him and treat him badly because he secretly feels like he deserves it.
This gives his ex power over him because she feels like she’s holding all the cards.
She knows that he’s sorry for what happened and she also knows that he wants her back.
This makes her feel emotionally more dominant than him and it causes her to wield that power over him by insulting him and generally being quite bitchy towards him.
At the back of her mind she may even be thinking things like, “Let’s see how much he’s going to suck up to me, even though I’m being such a bitch to him.”
Of course, the more he lets her flaunt her power over him, the less respect and attraction for him she feels and his chances of getting her back start to fizzle.
This is why, you can’t let that happen to you.
The truth is, a woman wants to be with a man that she can look up to, respect and feel proud of, not a guy who is too timid to stand up to her and put her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way (i.e. be the man).
So, even though your ex girlfriend might be giving you the impression that she likes being more emotionally dominant than you (i.e. by the enjoyment she gets when she insults you and sees the pain she is causing you), she’s not going to respect you if you actually fall for that act and then hand all of your power over to her.
Instead, she’s going to walk all over you, while she secretly looks to find herself a new man that she can fully respect and submit to.
4 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Your Ex Insults You
You can take this situation and turn it around and make your ex want to get back with you if you want to.
However, that will depend on whether you say and do things that reactivate, or extinguish, her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
So, avoid making these mistakes if you want to re-attract her:
1. Seeking pity in response to her insults
A guy will usually do this because he secretly hopes that if he makes her feel sorry for him, not only will she stop insulting him, but she will also want to give him another chance.
Yet, that’s not usually what happens.
Instead, a woman’s instincts kick in and she begins to perceive him as being wimpy and emotionally weak.
As a result, not only doesn’t she want to give him another chance, she also feels contempt for him for being so emotionally sensitive, that she ends up insulting him even more.
Another mistake is…
2. Acting like her insults are a big deal
Making a big deal about it every time your ex girlfriend insults you, is the quickest way to make her feel like she has power over you.
As a result, she ends up insulting you even more, to see if you have the balls to stand up to her (in a loving way), or if you’re just going to continue letting her get away with it.
Remember: Women are instinctively attracted to the qualities in a man that best display his emotional strength (e.g. confidence, assertiveness, decisiveness, determination, certainty, ballsiness, calmness under pressure), and are turned off by qualities that display emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, an inability to cope in challenging situations).
So, you have to remind yourself not to take her insults so seriously from now on.
The more you can relax and maintain your confidence and composure when talking with your ex, the more likely it is that she will stop insulting you, because her insults aren’t affecting you the way she wants.
Another mistake is…
3. Not laughing at her (in a loving way) when she is being like that
In most cases, when a woman insults her ex, his first instinct is to be extra nice to her, or to reason with her, in the hope that this will make her stop.
Yet, that usually makes him seem emotionally wimpy to her, which only adds to her reasons for feeling turned off by him.
As a result, she instinctively insults him even more, rather than less.
Here’s the thing…
If you don’t stand up to your ex for insulting you, in a loving way of course, she will instinctively perceive you as being emotionally weak and she will lose even more respect and attraction for you.
Then, rather than open up to the idea of giving you another chance, she will likely be thinking things like, “I’m so glad we broke up. I now realize that he’s too much of a wimp for me.”
So, the next time your ex insults you when you talk, rather than try to be ‘the bigger man’ and be nice to her despite her bad behavior, use humor instead to put her back in her place in a loving way and show her that you’re not going to take that kind of treatment from her anymore.
Initially she might be shocked, but even if she doesn’t openly show it, she will be feeling attracted to your confidence and emotional strength.
Another mistake is…
4. Insulting her back to get even
It’s only natural that when a woman is insulting you to your face, you’re not going to like it.
It may even spark some anger inside of you and you might want to retaliate by insulting her back and saying mean, hurtful things to her too.
Yet, although it might feel right in the moment, due to how much anger you’re feeling, it’s just not going to help you get her back at all.
It’s childish and immature and it leads to nowhere.
Instead, it will only cause her to feel even less respect for you for losing control of your emotions and behaving like a brat with her.
She may then decide to block you on her phone, unfriend you on social media or continually reject your attempts to get her to meet up with you, making it very difficult for you to reactivate her feelings and get her back.
Another mistake is…
5. Trying to get her back before re-attracting her to the new and improved you
After a break up, some guys focus more on what they want (i.e. to get their ex back) than on making her feel the way she needs to feel to open back up to the idea of giving her ex another chance.
In cases like that, when a guy is interacting with his ex, he will usually talk about how much he loves her, how he misses her and how he will do anything to get her back.
However, what he doesn’t do is spark her sexual and romantic feelings for him again, so she wants to get back together.
Here’s the thing though…
If you want your ex girlfriend to stop insulting you when you talk and open back up to the idea of being in a relationship with you, then you need to focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, as you interact with her over the phone and in person (not via text).
Make her feel drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her and then, the idea of getting back with you seems like the next, natural step.
On the other hand, if you don’t spark her feelings for you first and just focus on trying to convince her to change her mind based on your feelings for her and chances are high, she’s not going to change her mind.
What matters to her is how you make her feel right now.
So, focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good every time you interact with her.
Don’t make it all about you and your feelings.
Make the feelings mutual (or at least kind of mutual) before you try to do anything else.
If you approach the ex back process in that way, she will naturally stop insulting you and begin wanting to be your girl once again.
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