Here are 6 common reasons why a woman will say that:
1. She noticed that you had a wandering eye when you and her were together, so she assumes that you secretly wish you could get another woman
In some instances, a woman may have noticed that every time she goes out with her guy, he tends to spend more of his time looking at and possibly even flirting with other women, rather than focusing his attention on her.
This naturally made her feel insecure and like she somehow wasn’t good enough for him.
Of course, initially she probably made excuses for him and told herself things like, “He’s a typical man and that is fine. Men like to look at other women. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as I’m still the number one woman in his life.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Although it’s perfectly normal for a guy to look at other attractive women and even feel attracted to them, it’s not okay for him to spend more time and attention on other women than he does on his own woman.
If she gets a sense that he’s secretly wishing he could be with another woman other than her, she will begin to feel jealous and insecure and start thinking things like, “He’s always looking at other women when he should have eyes only for me. Obviously he’s not as attracted to me as I am to him. This isn’t going to work out after all. I just can’t go through life waiting for the man I love to cheat on me and dump me for some other woman.”
She then decides to break up with him and find herself a man who only has eyes for her.
If her ex then tries to get her back, even if she still has feelings for him, she will usually say something along the lines of, “Sorry, but I can’t get back with you because I think you will break up with me again sometime in the future. I don’t want to go through that pain again. I think it’s better for the both of us to move on and find someone else.”
If this is the case between you and your ex girlfriend, to get her back, you need to make her feel loved and appreciated in a way that feels good to her.
You need to show her, via your actions and behavior that she’s the only woman for you.
Of course that doesn’t mean you go overboard and lose that thing about you that made her feel attracted to you in the first place (i.e. your confidence, emotional masculinity, your charm).
Instead, you need to create a healthy balance between you and her where she feels lucky to be with you, but she also feels wanted, loved and appreciated.
When that happens, she will quickly change her mind about getting back together again and give you another chance.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she thinks you will just break up with her again in the future is because…
2. She feels like you accepted her, rather than selected her
Sometimes a couple falls into a relationship together by accident.
For example: They may grow up together as childhood friends (e.g. they go to the same school, live near each other, hang out in the same social circle) and over time, they drift into a relationship with each other because it seems easy and comfortable.
Alternatively, a guy and a girl might meet under unusual circumstance (e.g. on vacation, at a club while drunk) and end up having sex and dating as a result.
However, deep down the woman might secretly feel like her guy just accepted her because she was available and if he got the chance to pick a woman that he really wants, it wouldn’t be her.
As a result, she begins to develop insecurities about herself and her attractiveness to her guy.
Then, if they end up breaking up and the guy then tries to get her back, rather than get back with him (even though she may still have feelings for him), she instead pushes him away and say’s “No,” because she still believes that he is settling for her, rather than selecting her.
Here’s the thing…
Even though your ex girlfriend might believe that you accepted her rather than selected her, it doesn’t mean it’s the truth.
In fact, there are many reasons why a guy will select a woman other than her physical appearance (e.g. she’s a kind and honest person, she is loving and supportive of his dreams, she has a great sense of humor and makes him feel good when he’s with her).
So, if you did indeed select your ex girlfriend and feel she’s the one for you, it’s up to you to make her believe that by making her feel happy, attracted and wanted when she’s around you.
When she starts to see herself through your eyes (i.e. as though she is the one you truly want), she will naturally drop her guard and open back up to being your girl again.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she thinks you will just break up with her again in the future is because…
3. She’s worried that you will eventually break up with her to get revenge on her for breaking up with you
If your ex was the one who initiated the break up with you, she may feel worried that you’re secretly angry with her (e.g. because you lost your temper with her when the break up happened, you ignored her for a while after the break up).
As a result, she might be hesitant to get back together again, even if she really wants to, because she’s likely thinking things like, “What if he hasn’t forgiven me and is only trying to get me back, so that he can make me fall in love with him again and then dump me to get revenge on me for breaking up with him in the first place? I think I’ll just have to stick with being broken up instead, because I can’t risk being dumped by him. It will just be too painful for me.”
She then just pushes you away by saying that she thinks that you will just break up with you again in future.
Of course, you probably don’t want to do that and you likely do care for her and want to make things work out.
However, you can’t tell her that, because she in all likelihood won’t believe you.
That’s why you need to show her instead that you care for her (i.e. by acting and behaving in ways that will make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with you).
When you make your ex girlfriend reconnect with her feelings of love, respect and sexual attraction for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel appreciated), she will see you for the man you really are (i.e. honest, loving, sincere) and she will be happy and willing to give you another chance.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she thinks you will just break up with her again in the future is because…
4. She believes that you don’t know your own worth yet, but you will
It’s only normal for a man (or a woman) to sometimes wonder if they’re good enough for the person they’re with.
This usually happens when one person feels as though the other is more valuable or attractive than them.
So, if your ex secretly doubted that she was worthy of you, it’s only natural that she will feel insecure about being your girl and will then keep pushing you away.
For example: If a guy and woman come from very different social and economic backgrounds and his family and friends don’t approve of her, she might easily feel like she’s not good enough for him.
Even if he tries to reassure her by saying things like, “I love you and it’s my opinion that counts, not anyone else’s,” she can’t stop herself from thinking something along the lines of, “He’s just saying that because he hasn’t yet realized what a catch he is. When he does, he will see that he can do much better than me and he will quickly dump me. I couldn’t handle that. I think it’s better that we stay broken up. He deserves to get a woman that is at his level, rather than have me drag him down.”
So, if your ex girlfriend felt that she was unworthy of you, to get her back, you can’t just tell her that you love her and that she’s the one for you, because she probably won’t believe you.
What should you do instead?
For her to believe that you truly value her and want to be with her, you’ll need to show her that you do, via your actions and the way you treat her and respond to her, both in private and in public (e.g. if you were unwilling to hold her hand in front your family and friends, now is a great time to start doing that at times).
You also need to accept that your ex girlfriend will probably always feel a bit insecure about how fully committed you are to her, because in her mind, she’ll likely always see you as being of higher value than her.
However, you can calm that down over time and get her to relax and trust in you and the relationship, but you need to be patient about it.
Whatever you do though, don’t swing the other way and become desperate and needy in your attempts to convince her, because she will then lose respect for you and break up with you anyway.
So, just be confident and emotionally strong and focus on making her feel loved, appreciated and valued when you and her are together.
When she starts to see herself through your eyes, she will naturally drop her guard and want to be your girl again.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she thinks you will just break up with her again in the future is because…
5. She sees how other women look at you and worries that you might act on that interest from women one day
Sometimes, a woman might date a guy who is very attractive and wherever he goes, he always seems to get noticed by other women.
She may then end up thinking things like, “I know he’s with me now, but he can have any woman he wants. What if he eventually feels more attraction to someone else and just dumps me? It’s better to just let him go now and focus on finding myself a guy who won’t leave me, rather than get back with him and then have to deal with the pain and rejection of being dumped by him when he hooks up with some other woman in the future.”
Of course, the guy probably doesn’t think that way and to him, his girlfriend is his ideal woman, but what he likely doesn’t realize is that in general, women are a lot more insecure than men.
For example: According to a report commissioned by Dove Cosmetics, 96% of women around the world don’t consider themselves to be beautiful and feel insecure about their physical appearance.
Additionally, according to the National Institute of Mental Health in the U.S.A., women are twice as likely to experience depression than men.
So, even though your ex girlfriend might have given you the impression that she was confident, self-assured and happy about her physical appearance, chances are high that she was a lot more insecure, self-doubting and prone to feelings of depression than you ever realized.
So, if you want to convince her to give your relationship another chance, it’s vital that you make her see herself through your eyes (i.e. make her feel loved, desired and like she’s your ideal woman).
Once again though, you can’t say that to her, instead you need to stay calm and just focus on making her feel happy, attracted and wanted when around you (e.g. by using humor to break through her insecurities, flirting with her to make her feel desirable, making her feel feminine and girly in your presence).
The more that you build on her feelings for you, the more her doubts about giving your relationship another chance will begin to fade.
Suddenly, she will begin seeing herself through your eyes (i.e. as though she is good enough for you).
When that happens, she will stop feeling insecure and start wanting to be your girl again, before another woman actually does come along and seduces you away from her.
Another common reason why a woman will say that she thinks you will just break up with her again in the future is because…
6. She’s just saying that to see if she can get some power over you and change the relationship dynamic when you get back together
A woman will sometimes say that she thinks her ex will break up with her again in the future so she doesn’t want to get back with him, simply to see how he will react.
For example: Will he remain confident and emotionally strong, or will he become desperate and hand all his power over to her in an attempt to get her back?
If he crumbles and begins chasing after and saying things like, “No, no! That’s not true! Why would I want you back if I was going to do that? Can’t you see that I love you and that I want you to be my girl? What can I say or do to prove it to you? I’ll do anything!” rather than feel relieved and reassured, a woman will usually just feel turned off.
Why?
In most cases, one of the main reasons why a woman initially feels drawn to her guy is because he is confident, emotionally strong and emotionally dominant.
So, if he suddenly becomes wimpy, self-doubting and hands all his power over to her (i.e. by offering to do whatever she wants), he will lose the very thing that attracted her to him in the first place (i.e. his confidence and emotional masculinity).
As a result, she stops feeling respect and attraction for him and then even though her resistance to give him another chance started of as a test, she now feels convinced that she was right not to want him back.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t fall into the trap of becoming desperate and give all your power over to her.
Instead, try to see the funny side of how she’s behaving, rather than getting sucked into the fake drama that she is creating.
Of course initially your ex girlfriend might be a bit shocked that you’re not chasing after her and she may even say things like, “See? This is what I’m talking about. You’re already acting like someone who will break up with me in the future. You’re being disrespectful towards me and I don’t like it.”
However, even if she doesn’t show it, she will be feeling respect and attraction for you for being confident and emotionally strong enough to pass her test.
She will then realize that you really are the man she wants to be with and won’t be able to stop herself from reconnecting with her original feelings of respect, attraction and love for you once again.
Where a Guy Might Go Wrong When an Ex Girlfriend Refuses to Give Him Another Chance Because She Thinks They’ll Just Break Up Again in the Future
To get your ex girlfriend back, you simply need to re-spark her feelings for you enough, so that she can’t resist wanting to be with you again.
This is why you need to focus on thinking, saying and doing things that are attractive to her (e.g. being confident and emotionally strong, using humor to break down her defenses, flirting with her to create sparks of attraction), rather than doing things that will turn her off.
For example: 3 mistakes you should avoid making are…
1. Promising to never leave her if she just gives you one more chance to prove your love for her
As tempted as you might be to say something like, “I know you think we will break up again in the future, but I promise you that won’t happen. I will never leave you because I love you and nothing will come between us ever again. Please just give me a chance to prove to you that our love will last,” don’t do it.
Why?
Firstly, you can’t make promises to your ex girlfriend that you might not be able to keep.
The truth is, no one knows what happens down the road of life and something might occur that actually does cause you to break up with her in the future.
She will then throw it in your face that you’re not a man of your word.
Secondly, and most importantly, saying that to her is once again giving her power over you, which makes you less attractive in her eyes.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Pouring your heart out in a long letter or email and turning her off in the process
Telling your ex girlfriend how you feel about her in a letter or e-mail might seem romantic to you, but to a woman, it’s a sign that you’re being too emotionally sensitive.
As a result, she feels turned off.
So, even though you may believe that pouring your heart out to her is the right thing to do, because you’ve seen guys acting like that in movies, or in music videos, it isn’t.
In the real world, women can’t feel respect and attraction for a guy who is emotionally sensitive and expresses his feelings like a woman does (i.e. women are the ones who write soppy love letters to an ex, not men).
So, forget about telling your ex about how you feel and focus instead on making her feel the way she wants to feel during interactions with you (e.g. respectful, attracted, in love).
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Not realizing that some women like the thrill of the chase when it comes to guys
When a guy desperately wants to get his ex girlfriend back, he usually makes the mistake of chasing after her and begging and pleading with her to give him another chance.
Essentially he’s hoping that the more he pursues her, the more she will realize that he’s serious about her and she will feel convinced that they won’t break up again in the future.
As a result, he stops being a challenge and rather than want him back, his ex actually loses interest. Why?
What a guy like that doesn’t realize is that a woman doesn’t want to feel as though she is more valuable or powerful than him.
She wants him to make her feel as though she needs to chase after him, because if she doesn’t, she will lose him to another woman.
She doesn’t want to feel as though she can push him around and treat him like dirt and he will put up with it.
So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, be a bit more of a challenge to her, rather than being a good little boy who chases after her and does whatever she says.
You’ll be surprised to see how effective that actually is in making a woman feel surges of respect and attraction for you again.
Suddenly, she starts to chase you and when that happens, getting her back becomes easy and effortless.
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