It depends on the following:
1. Was she already pretty much over you before breaking up with you?
In most cases, a woman doesn’t break up with a guy the first time he makes a mistake, or the first time they have a big argument or fight.
Instead, she’ll usually give him plenty of chances to make things right, change or and show her that he’s capable of leveling up and being the man she wants him to be.
If a guy is unable or unwilling to do that, her interest in him and the relationship will begin to fade.
She might not break up with him right away, but may begin thinking things like, “I’m getting tired of fighting about the same things over and over again. If he doesn’t change soon, I’m going to walk away from this relationship and find myself a new man” or, “I don’t know how much more of this I can put up with. Will he ever change? Will I ever be happy with him?”
If her boyfriend continues to ignore the warning signs (i.e. her not being as affectionate, her losing interest in making him feel loved, her not wanting to be around him as much) and doesn’t change, she will eventually go through with a breakup.
Since she prepared herself over weeks, months and in some cases even years, she won’t feel very stressed, worried or anxious about the breakup.
Rather than going through the usual breakup blues where she misses him, wonders if she made a mistake and wants him back, she is pretty much ready to move on right away.
As a result, she can then easily start a new relationship with another guy and begin to move on.
Meanwhile, her ex is heartbroken (again) and feels rejected and left behind by her.
He may then wonder things like, “Is she over me already? Did she ever really love me at all? How can she have a new boyfriend so soon after our breakup? Does she love him more than me? Is she happier now? Do I have a chance to get her back?”
Here’s the thing…
Millions of guys have successfully gotten an ex woman back, despite her having a boyfriend.
It is possible.
How it is done?
By reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings for you by showing her that you truly have leveled up as a man (e.g. you’re much more confident and emotionally strong, you’re more ballsy, you’re not controlling or clingy anymore, you’re more of a challenge).
If you don’t interact with her and let her experience that, she will almost certainly assume that you’re still the same as you were when she left you.
As a result, she won’t feel much or any motivation to get back with you if she’s currently happy with her new boyfriend.
If you want her back, you have to make her feel something for you again and want it, so she then realizes that the relationship with her new boyfriend isn’t the answer.
Her feelings for you aren’t dead and if she doesn’t give you another chance, you might go and attract a new, quality woman and fall in love with her instead.
So, she then becomes more open to interacting with you and potentially hugging, kissing and having sex with you again to see how she feels.
2. How intense was the love she felt for you when things were good between you and her?
Sometimes a guy sees a woman as being his soulmate, but she doesn’t feel the same way about him in return.
So, while he’s desperately in love with her and imagining their future together (e.g. they move in together, get married and start a family), she’s more interested in keeping things casual, or is imagining meeting a new guy and settling down with him instead.
This happens when a guy doesn’t know how to make a woman feel ongoing, intense attraction for him and just hopes to get lucky and have her remain interested in him.
A guy like that will often just be a nice, supportive, loving boyfriend and generally treat her well.
On the surface, it seems fine.
Yet, deep down, she doesn’t feel very attracted because he’s not enough of a challenge for her, is too nice, is too soft and gentle or lacks the kind of manliness she wants in a man.
It doesn’t mean he has no chance with her.
He does.
However, he needs to be willing to level up as a man and offer her something new, rather than offering her an attraction experience that doesn’t and likely never will satisfy her.
For example: Being more ballsy rather than timid around her, being very confident rather than insecure, being more of a challenge rather than being so predictable and nice all the time, making her feel like a sexy woman in his eyes rather than a neutral friend, or housemate.
If a guy isn’t willing to do that and just expects her to be happy because he’s being nice to her, a woman usually won’t continue to feel an intense love, or attraction for him.
Instead, the relationship will feel nice, but she’ll catch herself fantasizing about meeting a guy who knows how to make her feel more attracted.
Then, when she ends the relationship, she will find it fairly easy to move on and find a new boyfriend because she wasn’t really that in love with her ex anyway.
3. Have you thought about what her ex boyfriend would have assumed when you got with her?
Imagine how he felt when you became her boyfriend and she seemed happy with you.
For example: He may have assumed that she was over him because she was so in love with you.
Was he right?
Possibly not.
The fact that she dumped you and has a new boyfriend now may mean that her old ex was wrong.
Maybe she enjoyed the start of the relationship, but wasn’t truly in love with you.
As a result, he could have actually gotten her back if he went through the ex back process, rather than just assuming she was over him and he had no chance anymore.
Fortunately for you, he didn’t do that and you were able to maintain a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with her for a while.
Yet, the question is: Are you going to make the same mistake that he did?
Are you going to give up on getting your ex back just because she has a new boyfriend and never know if you and her were meant to be, or if you could have gotten another chance with her?
If you don’t take the chance and try and get her back now, you’ll likely never know if she is over you, or is just using her new boyfriend as a rebound to try and forget you.
She may actually be secretly missing you at times and wondering if you’ll ever build up the courage to get her back, if you are still interested that is.
4. How soon did they get together and is he really a perfect match for her?
If your ex got into a relationship with her new boyfriend very quickly after she broke up with you, he might just be a rebound (i.e. the guy she is using to get over you).
Additionally, she might feel some attraction for him now because he’s so different compared to you, but that doesn’t mean he is perfect for her.
For example: If a woman’s ex boyfriend spent most of his time drifting through life and doing things that she perceived as being immature or pointless (e.g. playing video games all weekend, focusing on his hobbies rather than on his career, hanging out with friends all the time and getting drunk or high), her new boyfriend will usually be a lot more serious and goal-oriented.
Yet, that doesn’t mean he is perfect.
He might actually be too tense, uptight and serious about things, which then makes it hard to relax and be happy around him.
She may begin to feel stressed out by the relationship and wish that he’d just lighten up a little.
If he doesn’t, she may end up losing interest in him and the relationship and walking away once again.
So, what should do you?
Well, you definitely shouldn’t wait around for that to hopefully happen one day (e.g. 3 months, a year or many years from now).
Instead, you should focus on re-attracting her by letting her see and sense that you’ve leveled up as a man and can now offer her the kind of attraction and relationship experience she always wanted from you.
For example:
- If you were too insecure in the relationship, then interact with her and let her see, sense and feel that you are so much more confident now.
- If you were too nice and predictable, be more of a challenge to her now (e.g. playfully say no to her at times, rather than being a yes man).
- If you treated her too much like a neutral friend, make her feel new sparks of sexual attraction for you by flirting with her (e.g. she asks, “So, how have you been?” and rather than saying, “Good thanks, how about you?” like a neutral friend, you playfully say, “Why? What are you offering? Are you offering to cook me dinner or something?” or, “I’ve been great, but I’d be even better if you invite me over and cook me dinner”). You say it in a confident, easygoing and playful tone. Women love that kind of confident, flirtatious conversation style. She might initially pretend to be offended, shocked or confused, but she will feel attracted and enjoy it as long as you are being confident, easygoing and relaxed when saying it.
- If you were too timid in the relationship and let her dominate you with her confident personality, be more assertive and ballsy from now on. Of course, still be respectful and treat her well, but have more courage, balls and assertiveness. In other words, be assertive in a loving way, not in an aggressive, demanding way. The example above of suggesting she cook you dinner is a way of being assertive in a loving way. If she says that you should cook her dinner, just remain confident and say, “Okay, but you bring the wine though.” That way, she’s not walking all over you. You are still getting your way (i.e. you and her are meeting up to eat, potentially have a drink together and possibly end up kissing and having sex).
The more attraction you make your ex feel, the less loyal she will feel to her new boyfriend.
She will go with how she feels and ‘follow her heart,’ which will lead her back into your arms.
That’s how it’s done.
Millions of guys have done it and you can too.
You’ve got to believe in yourself and do it.
Don’t doubt yourself or wait many months or years hoping for a signal from her.
Make it happen while you still can.
5. Is she the sort of woman to fall madly in love, or remain emotionally guarded to protect herself from getting hurt?
Some women fall in love very easily.
As a result, they can move on, or seem to move on quickly and easily.
Yet, that doesn’t mean the relationship will last.
For example: According to Stanford University in California, 60% of unmarried relationships break up within 2 months and 70% end within 1 year.
So, your ex’s new relationship has an approximate 40% chance of lasting more than 2 months and 30% of making it past a year.
Additionally, if she is the sort of woman to guard her heart and not fall in love very easily, she may not fully open up and love him for months.
He may be in love with her, but she may still be waiting to see if he’s going to stuff up, hurt her or disappoint her like previous boyfriends.
So, you still have a chance.
You’ve just got to be brave enough to make a move while you still can.
BTW: Don’t make the mistake of waiting for her relationship to end and hoping she’ll come back to you, even though you haven’t re-attracted her.
In my many years of experience, I’ve found that if a guy doesn’t re-attract his ex girlfriend when she has a new boyfriend, she will usually just start dating new men after breaking up with her new boyfriend.
She won’t feel motivated to go back to him because he hasn’t re-attracted her.
So, if you want her back, make her feel attracted to the new and improved you.
Do it now, rather than just waiting and hoping that something happens one day.
If you wait and hope, months and then possibly years will pass.
By that point, you might not even be as attracted to her anymore, or she might find a guy that she is more attracted to.
Re-attract her now, so she has a reason to get back with you, or at least hook up with you again to see how she feels.
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