When a couple who works together goes through a breakup, they will often try to end things on good terms to avoid any problems occurring in the workplace.
Yet, sometimes, even if a guy tries to end things on good terms with an ex girlfriend, she will turn nasty and threaten to get him fired.
So, if you find yourself in a position where she is turning against you and threatening to get you fired, here’s what you can do:
1. Take screenshots of any threatening messages she has sent you
You need to record as much evidence as possible.
Any threat she makes towards you, be it written or verbal, should be saved (e.g. use a recording app on your phone to keep a record of conversations with her, take screenshots of emails, social media messages and texts) and kept in a safe place where she has no chance of finding and deleting them.
The reason why, is because if she accuses you of sexual harassment or harassment of any kind, or tries to turn the tables on you by saying you’re the one who is threatening her, people will usually be more inclined to automatically take a woman’s side and believe her.
That can then ruin your career prospects, which you obviously want to avoid.
Additionally, when you have solid proof of her threats, lies or manipulative actions against you, it helps you have more peace of mind as you get on with your life without her.
2. Tell your boss about the situation
In a lot of cases, a guy won’t want to get his boss or supervisor involved in his personal business.
It may be because he’s a very private person, doesn’t like to mix business with personal life, or feels embarrassed about the situation and wants to avoid looking weak or unprofessional.
Yet, not telling your boss about the situation make things worse later on if your ex decides to follow through on her threat and gets the first word in.
She may say things and even make it look like you’re the emotionally unstable, crazy one, while she’s the poor innocent woman who is suffering.
So, even though you might feel reluctant to let your boss know that your ex is threatening to get you fired, it’s best to just inform your boss.
Here are some tips for when you do:
Avoid badmouthing her. Be as neutral, professional and emotionally in control as you can be.
Explain that she has threatened to get you fired because she is feeling very emotional due to you and her having broken up.
Let your boss know that you have evidence of her threats and can show it if need be.
Ask what your boss can do to ensure that the situation is handled in a professional manner, so you can continue to do your job and not be harassed by her.
Aim to let your boss see that you don’t want to waste his/her time discussing the ‘drama’ for a long time. Instead, you are just being professional and giving your boss a heads up on the situation.
Your boss will almost certainly not want any unnecessary drama occurring in the workplace.
He (or she) is likely busy and has work to get done, so he won’t appreciate it if you waste time seeking pity from him, or getting overly emotional.
Your boss wants and even expects you to be professional, maintain control of your emotions, aim to quickly solve the problem and then get back to work.
At the end of the day, you are there to do work.
So, if you handle the situation efficiently and in a mature, professional manner, your boss is more likely to respect you and appreciate your approach.
3. Avoid saying anything threatening or overly emotional to her in response
If your ex is threatening to get you fired, you might feel a range of negative emotions towards her (e.g. anger, betrayal, disgust, stress, panic, fear).
As tempting as it might be to get angry, or threaten her back, it’s not something you should do.
In most cases, people are more likely to take a woman’s side and see her as being threatened or harassed by you, even if it’s not true.
So, for the sake of your job and your reputation, you should use a professional, friendly and easygoing approach whenever you interact with her, even if it’s after work hours (i.e. because she might be recording you too).
She will then have less ammunition to use if she decides to go ahead and try to get you fired.
4. Understand that if you haven’t done anything wrong and have evidence of her threat, you will be fine
Most employers don’t want to fire an employee who has done nothing wrong because they will then have to spend time finding and training a new employee.
Additionally, they also risk the employee taking legal action against them for unfair dismissal.
So, in almost all cases, unless there’s a serious issue (e.g. a guy has actually been harassing his ex girlfriend), the employer will try to sort things out, rather than rush to fire a guy who did nothing wrong, just because his ex is being vindictive and petty.
However, just know that if you don’t have any evidence of her threat, your employer may fire you for other reasons (e.g. they aren’t capable of handling issues like this and simply fire you to avoid the woman causing any further problems).
5. Understand that some women make fake threats like that when emotional
Sometimes a woman will struggle to maintain control of her emotions after a breakup (e.g. if she gets dumped by a guy for another woman, or finds out that he had been cheating for months).
She might lash out at her ex and try to hurt him as much as she can for the emotional pain she is experiencing.
Some women will do that by hooking up with other guys as quickly as possible to make their ex jealous, whereas other women do crazy things like trash her ex’s house, scratch or punch holes in his car with a screwdriver, or threaten to get him fired.
It’s just how things go sometimes.
Sometimes women behave in that way and sometimes men behave in that way.
A breakup can really sting and cause some people to get very angry and want revenge.
Yet, in most cases, a woman won’t actually go through with trying to get her ex fired.
She will realize that it’s the wrong thing to do and stop, or if she notices that her ex is panicking, she might continue to pretend that she’ll do it.
So, don’t get caught up in her drama.
Stay calm, be polite and just get on with your life without her.
6. If her threats continue and become worse, get a restraining order
A woman might be fine during a breakup or divorce, (e.g. she will accept it and walk away) but then turn very nasty after it happens.
That can happen in cases where…
- An ex wife feels as though her husband didn’t give her enough of the money or assets during the divorce.
- An ex girlfriend finds out that her boyfriend cheated on her prior to the breakup (with the woman he is now with) and won’t admit it.
She may then threaten to get her ex fired from his job, by telling his boss about bad things he has done to her, or how he has stolen things from the office.
If your ex gets nasty like that and threatens to ruin your life, or get you fired, you have every right to get a restraining order on her.
In that way, no matter what she does from then on, you will have legal proof that she’s the one looking to cause trouble, not you.
7. Unfriend her and block her from everything
The less she’s able to check up on you, the easier it becomes to forget about you and move on.
Essentially, it’s a case of “Out of sight, out of mind.”
If there’s nothing there for her to see and obsess about (e.g. photos of you having fun with other people, dating new women, going to places she wanted to go with you), then she will be less included to feel angry and revengeful.
As a result, she will be able to move on faster.
Of course, she might initially be angry when you block her, or unfriend her.
However, as long as you don’t get caught up in any drama she might create (e.g. she tries to get hold of you via mutual friends for a face-to-face confrontation), she will eventually get over it.
From there, just let your employer know that you’ve cut off contact with your ex in every way and her attempts to get you fired may continue for a little while, until she accepts the breakup.
Then, get on with your life as per normal, knowing you handled the situation like the emotionally mature, balanced man that you are.
4 Mistakes to Avoid if Your Ex is Threatening to Get You Fired
Here’s where other guys mess up when in a situation like yours:
1. Telling her that he’s going to get a lawyer to help
Threatening to get a lawyer can embolden a woman, because she sees that her ex is wasting money on her fake threats.
If she has any idea how the law works and how much money a person actually has to spend to run a legal case, she will know that her ex is bluffing.
As a result, she will continue to let him know that she is angry at him (for whatever he did), but not actually make any direct threats.
She might also contact his work to let them know that not only did he do this/that, but he’s now trying to threaten her with legal action.
That can make the drama become bigger than it is, or needs to be.
2. Seeming stressed and out of control when talking to his boss or manager
Regardless of how understanding a guy’s boss or manager is, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters to him is if the guy can do his job properly.
There’s work to be done and he is being paid to do that.
So, if a guy comes across as being very stressed out or out of control emotionally, his boss will begin to question whether he’ll be able to do his job.
The boss will also see that he is unable to handle pressure and therefore, will be much less likely to ever promote him into a position of leadership.
3. Giving family and friends a play by play of what is happening
The more family and friends know about the situation and want details and updates, the more stressed he will feel.
It will turn into a huge, ongoing, stressful event that involves him communicating with multiple people, repeating what is happening and getting all sorts of mixed opinions on what he should do.
Yet, all he needs to do is look at the situation for what it is (i.e. a rejected woman trying to make herself feel better by causing drama).
Rather than getting dragged into that drama, he just needs to remain his composure, gather evidence and focus on getting on with his life without her.
4. Letting her win
A win for her is making him feel miserable by messing up his life.
A win for him is gathering evidence, storing it away and then getting on with enjoying life without her.
So, do gather evidence to cover your back at work and then just forget about her from now on.
When she sees that you’re not getting dragged into her fake drama anymore, she will eventually get tired of trying to get under your skin.
She’ll see that it’s no longer making you worry, panic or feel stressed and will begin to leave you alone.
You can then move on in peace and find yourself another, high quality woman to be with.
Alternatively, if you still do want her back, you can do that too.
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