Here are 6 common reasons why a woman will say that she wants to be friends with an ex boyfriend, plus what you can do to get her back ASAP:
1. At this point, all she feels like is a friend to you
Most couples start out feeling a lot of sexual attraction for each other and enjoy kissing, having sex and generally making each other feel wanted and desired.
Yet, over time, the guy might become so comfortable in his relationship that he falls into the habit of treating his woman more like his best friend or his roommate, rather than like his feminine, sexy girl.
Initially, a woman will usually try to spice things up between them (e.g. plan romantic dinners or weekends away, try to look prettier).
However, if he doesn’t change his approach and continues to treat her like a friend, she will likely decide to break up with him and say something along the lines of, “Look, I really do care for you, but I just want to be friends for now, okay?”
She will then likely focus on finding herself a man who makes her feel sexually and romantically attracted.
Here’s the thing…
In today’s world, a woman doesn’t need to stick with a man if he stops making her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship (e.g. attracted, desirable, wanted).
The truth is, the less feminine and girly a woman feels around her man, the less sexual attraction she feels for him and the less she wants to stay with him.
So, if your ex wants to be friends and you want more, make sure that every time you interact with her from now on (on the phone and especially in person), you’re re-sparking her feelings of attraction for you and are making her feel sexy and desirable, rather than being a nice, neutral friend to her.
Even though you’re broken up, you can still flirt with her and make her feel sexy and wanted.
A lot of guys don’t want to do that.
They think that flirting with an ex woman will make her get angry and then she won’t want them back.
Yet, the opposite is usually true.
By flirting with her, you relight the spark that has been missing between you and her.
As a result, she feels drawn to you again in a good way.
She wants to talk to you more over the phone and meet up with you in person more often, because she wants to experience those feelings again (i.e. lust, desire, excitement).
So, lead the way and make it happen.
Get her to feel properly attracted to you again and guide her to a hug, kissing, sex and then back into a relationship.
2. She is open to something happening, but doesn’t want to commit to it right away
Sometimes, a woman will still have feelings for her ex.
However, even though she may want to get back together again, at the back of her mind there may be a little voice telling her things like, “Yes, you want him back because you still care for him, but so far, you have no proof that anything will be different this time around. Maybe you should just be friends for a while and see what happens. Don’t make the mistake of rushing back into a relationship with him and then end up getting hurt all over again. Take it slow and see if he’s able to level up and be the man you want him to be, before you commit to him again.”
She will then offer to stay friends with him and wait to see his attitude, thinking and behavior during interactions with her.
If she can see that he really has made the effort to level up and become more of the man she wants him to be, she will then almost certainly drop her guard and open up to be his girl again.
On the other hand, if they stay friends and she notices that he’s still making the same attraction mistakes he made before, she may then cut him off by saying something like, “I’m sorry. I thought we could be friends, but it feels too awkward to me. I think it’s better if we cut ties and try to move on and make a fresh start with someone else.”
Don’t let that happen to you.
If your ex is offering a friendship right now, you’re one of those lucky guys who has an excuse to call her and meet up with her as often as you want – after all, that’s what friends do, right?
So, don’t waste your opportunity by being stubborn and saying things like, “If we can’t be a couple anymore, I don’t want to be friends either. It’s all or nothing!”
Instead, use interactions to show her that you’ve leveled up as a man and make her feel surges of sexual and romantic attraction for you again (e.g. you’re more confident and self-assured, more manly, less submissive around her, less easily annoyed when she creates unnecessary drama).
When she can see that no matter what she says or does, you now respond in a totally different way than before, she will naturally start to feel a renewed sense of respect for you for being man enough to take action and improve.
When she respects you, she also starts to feel attracted to you and then she automatically starts to want more from you than just a friendship.
Another common reason why a woman will say she wants to be friends and what you can do about it is…
3. She is planning on seeing a new man, but doesn’t want to tell you that yet
In some cases, a woman might find a replacement guy really quickly after she breaks up with her ex.
However, she doesn’t want to tell him that yet, so she stalls for more time by saying that she only wants to be friends with him for now.
Some of her reasons for doing that are:
- She wants to keep her options open, in case her new relationship doesn’t work out. She can then get back with her ex again, until another more emotionally attractive man comes along.
- She’s worried he might get angry and possibly even become aggressive towards her.
- She’s anxious about him confronting her new man and getting into a fight with him.
- She doesn’t want him to break down and start begging and pleading and even crying to her to change her mind.
Essentially, she’s hoping that her ex will accept the friendship and she can avoid a scene.
She can then focus on building a relationship with her new man.
Then, by the time her ex tries to push her into giving him another chance, she can say something like, “I’m sorry but I told you, I only want to be friends now. Besides, I’ve met someone else and I’m in a relationship with him. We’ll always be friends, but that’s all I can offer you. Please be happy for me and let me go.”
So, if you just sit around and do nothing to re-attract her, seduce her and get her back, she will likely move on without you.
Here’s the thing…
Regardless of whether your ex has a new guy already lined up or not, if you want her back, your approach needs to be the same.
You need to actively re-attract her and reawaken her feelings for you (over the phone and especially in person), so she starts to realize that you’re the man she really wants.
The better you are at making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, the faster she will reconnect with her feelings of love and consider being more than friends with you.
4. She knows that if she got back with you now, it would be the same relationship dynamic as before
Most guys are good guys and want to treat their woman well and make her happy.
Unfortunately though, in some cases, a guy makes the mistake of thinking that being a good man to his woman means that he needs to always be nice to her and let her have her way.
In his mind, he’s being a loving, caring boyfriend to her.
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that women are attracted to men who have the confidence, emotional strength and emotional masculinity to take the lead in the relationship, rather than hand his power to her.
So, when a man lets his woman make all the decisions and turns to her for advice and guidance when things get tough, she instinctively starts to lose respect and attraction for him.
Subconsciously she senses that the relationship dynamic is out if whack (i.e. she is more emotionally dominant than him, rather than the other way around), so she doesn’t feel protected and safe in the relationship with him, as well as in life in general.
Instead, she feels that if something big happens (e.g. they experience a major financial crisis, they’re faced with a serious illness, one of them loses their job), she will end up being the one taking care of both of them.
That’s not appealing to her.
So, rather than committing to a guy who seems emotionally weaker than her, she may decide to break up with him and just stay friends.
Here’s the thing…
If you want more with your ex than just a friendship, you need to make sure that you don’t offer her a relationship dynamic she doesn’t want.
Sure it’s important to be a good man to her, but don’t make the mistake of being a nice, sweet, submissive man.
Instead, you have to be man enough to take the lead and create a relationship dynamic that will make her want to treat you well, be attentive and fall deeply in love with you again.
Another common reason why a woman will say she wants to be friends and what you can do about it is…
5. She’s trying to make you feel obligated to be nice to her for now
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she always stands the risk of him turning into a jerk.
For example: He might…
- Get angry and shout at her.
- Become verbally abusive and start insulting her.
- Become physically aggressive towards her, or even violent.
- Start stalking her.
So, to prevent that from happening, she may soften the blow of the breakup by telling him that she wants to be friends.
As a result, it becomes a lot more difficult for him to react badly and come out looking like he’s emotionally immature.
Instead, even if he wants more, he’s obligated to accept her decision and be nice to her (regardless of whether it’s because he’s secretly hoping to change her mind).
Here’s the thing…
A friendship with your ex is not the end of the world.
In fact, it’s a great opportunity to stay in contact with her and then reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
So, don’t waste it.
Be friends with her, but don’t pretend that you no longer find her sexually attractive or that you don’t want her back.
Then, focus on making her feel attracted when she interacts with you, so she starts to believe that getting back with you is something that she wants to do for her own reasons (e.g. she’s worried that if she lets you go she will regret it later on, she feels attracted to you in new ways and wants to explore that).
At the same time, try to get to sex when you meet up with her.
Sex speeds up the process of reconciling a relationship and stops a lot of the uncertainly and doubt that may be going on in her mind.
Of course, sex doesn’t fix your relationship problems with her, but it definitely helps to get things back on track.
From there, getting her back becomes easy to do, because she wants it too.
6. She doesn’t have the courage to say that it’s over for good and just wants to let you down slowly
Some women just don’t like the idea of a confrontation.
Even if a woman doesn’t expect her ex to do anything to harm her, still the idea of seeing his shocked expression and the pain in his eyes is too much for her to handle.
So, rather than put herself through that and potentially feel guilty over what she believes is the right decision for her to make, she might ‘chicken out’ of brutally dumping him by suggesting they remain friends.
In that way, she’s likely hoping to soften the blow.
He might then stick around as her friend, usually as her text friend, giving her enough time to fully get over him and find herself a replacement man.
Then, over time, she may begin interacting with him less and less often, or taking a really long time to respond to his text messages, or return his phone calls.
Eventually, she might fade out of his life and stop interacting with him altogether.
Then, by the time he notices that he’s not hearing from her anymore and contacts her to see what she’s up to, she will tell him something like, “I’ve got a new boyfriend now and I think it’s best if we stop talking to each other and move on with our lives.”
He’s then left feeling as though he was dumped a second time.
Don’t let that guy be you.
If you want your ex back, you have to actively make her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
That means you need to use every interaction you have with her to make her laugh, smile and feel happy.
Then, when you’re not around, the feeling of loss will be so much more obvious to her.
She may then want to talk to you more over the phone and meet up with you in person to see how she feels.
It then becomes easy for you to show her that you’re now the man she always wanted you to be (e.g. more confident, manly, more of a challenge) and get her back into a relationship with you that’s 100% better than ever before.
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