Here are the 5 most common reasons why a woman will do that:
1. She doesn’t want to give you clues on how to get her back
It’s only natural that if a woman breaks up with her guy and he doesn’t know why, he’s going to want to know why.
He may even say things like, “Please tell me why you’re doing this? If I know what I did wrong, then I can change those things about myself and give you what you want. We can be happy together again, but that won’t happen if you don’t tell me why you’re breaking up with me.”
In his mind, he likely believes that asking his woman for an explanation is normal.
He may even believe that she owes it to him to tell him why she’s breaking up with him.
Yet, the majority of women don’t see it that way.
Instead, a woman will usually avoid telling her guy exactly what her reasons for breaking up with him are and will simply expect him to either understand and change, or leave her alone and let her move on.
Why?
In most cases, by the time a woman gets to the point where she wants to break up with a guy, she’s likely given him plenty of hints about what she wants him to change and improve about himself.
However, from her point of view, he has either ignored her, or he hasn’t understood what she wants him to do and she’s now tired of trying to make things work with him.
So, when he then asks something along the lines of, “Please tell me why you broke up with me,” rather than make her think, “Okay, maybe if I spell things out for him he will finally change and improve and become the man I want him to be and we can then get back together again,” she becomes even more closed off and uncooperative.
Here’s why…
Most women don’t want to be responsible for shaping a guy into the man that he needs to become.
If she has to tell him how to be the man she needs, she will lose even more respect for him because he’s not his own man.
He is simply following her instructions, which then makes him come across as being emotionally weak and wimpy (characteristics that are naturally unattractive to women).
Additionally, at the back of her mind she knows that there are men out there who are aware of how to think, act and behave in a relationship with a woman without a woman’s help or guidance.
So, she doesn’t feel like it’s fair that she has to settle for a guy who needs her help to be a better man.
She will then usually close herself off from her ex and focus on finding herself a ready-made man who can give her the attraction experience she really wants, rather than waste a lot of time trying to fix her ex so she can be with him.
This is why, if you’ve been asking your ex to tell you why she broke up with you, you need to stop right away.
Then you need to focus on figuring out her reasons without her help.
You can then quickly change and improve some of the things that are important to her.
Then, the next time you interact with her over the phone or in person, she will be able to pick up the changes in you (e.g. via the tonality of your voice, your body language, the way you respond to her) and she will know you’re a new man.
When that happens, she naturally starts to feel surges of respect for you again for figuring things out on your own and becoming a better man.
When she respects you, she automatically begins to feel attracted to you too and with those two emotions in place, she becomes open to the idea of being your girl again.
On the other hand, if your main approach to getting her back is to continue asking her to explain why she broke up with you before you do anything else, she will likely cut you out of her life entirely (e.g. refuse to answer your texts/messages/phone calls) and move on with another man as quickly as possible.
Another possible reason why your ex won’t tell you why she broke up with you is…
2. She doesn’t want to hear you promise to change the things she doesn’t like and then feel obliged to give you another chance
Sometimes, if a woman tells a guy her reasons for breaking up with him, he will quickly begin making promises that he will change.
For example: Imagine a woman says to her ex something like, “Okay, the truth is, I broke up with you because I feel really bored in the relationship with you. Even though we’re still young and vibrant, we seem to be in a rut where we are acting like an old married couple. All we ever do is watch TV or go to the movies and hang out with our friends at the same coffee shops or restaurants and doing the same things week in and week out. I just can’t take it anymore! I’d rather just be single and focus on enjoying my life on my own for while.”
Naturally, when her guy hears something like that, he will quickly try to convince her to change her mind by saying things like, “Please baby, don’t throw away what we have. I promise I will do whatever it takes to spice things up between us. I can do better. Just give me a chance to prove it to you.”
She will then feel forced to give him another chance, which she doesn’t really want to do.
She wants to move on and find a new man who can give her the attraction experience she wants, rather than risk putting in all that effort with her ex and not getting what she wants, because he doesn’t really know how to change and become the man she needs him to be.
For instance, her ex might begin taking her to more romantic dinners, or begin taking her to different restaurants or coffee shops to vary things up between them.
Yet, in reality that’s not the main thing that will stop her from feeling bored in the relationship with him.
Instead, she needs him to change at a deeper, more fundamental level (e.g. he stops treating her like a neutral friend and begins making her feel like a sexy, feminine woman around him, he stops letting her get away with bad behavior and stands up to her in a loving yet assertive way).
When she can see for herself that the changes are not superficial (i.e. a change of location or entertainment), but instead go to the core of her boredom, her defenses will automatically come down.
She then becomes open to working things out, because she can see that things truly will be different now.
Another possible reason why your ex won’t tell you why she broke up with you is…
3. She doesn’t feel like she has to tell you
In some cases, when a guy asks his ex to tell him why they broke up, she might actually feel annoyed by it and think something like, “I don’t owe him an explanation. I’m my own woman and if I don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore, I don’t have to.”
Here’s the thing…
In today’s world, women are more confident and independent than they used to be in the past (i.e. where women were expected to stay in a relationship with a man regardless of how unhappy they felt).
As a result, a woman can now choose to break up with a guy if he’s not making her feel the way that she wants to feel in the relationship with him (e.g. loved, appreciated, attracted, excited).
Basically, if she starts to lose too much respect and attraction for the guy because of his actions and behavior (e.g. he’s too insecure and needy, he takes her for granted, he isn’t manly enough so she feels like she has to lead in the relationship), she can choose to break up with him because she is an individual and is not his property.
She may then feel that it’s not necessary for her to give him a reason why.
It’s her decision and he needs to respect that and accept it.
Of course, when you’re on the receiving end of such a decision, it definitely sucks not to know why your ex broke up with you.
However, rather than try to get an explanation from her and likely annoy her in the process, it’s better if you figure it out for yourself.
Then when you interact with her and she notices that you’re suddenly attracting her in new and exciting ways (e.g. you’re more confident and emotionally mature, you’re more ballsy in the way you respond to her, you’re more emotionally masculine in your approach thus making her feel more feminine around you), she won’t be able to resist wanting to talk to you and hang out with you more often.
You can then fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
So, focus on that.
Another possible reason why your ex won’t tell you why she broke up with you is…
4. She is afraid to tell you the truth in case it hurts you
Sometimes, a woman just doesn’t want to come across as being a bitch to her ex by saying something like, “I don’t love you anymore. It’s over.”
So, rather than say things that might be hurtful to him and make him feel bad, she simply avoids giving him a reason for breaking up with him.
Instead, she might just say something along the lines of, “Look, I just don’t really know what I want in my life anymore, so until I figure things out, I think it would be better if we took a break from each other for a while. Maybe some time in the future we can get back together again, but for now I need some space to sort myself out. I hope you understand.”
Alternatively, she might not give him any reason at all and just leave him wondering what he did wrong.
This is why, if your ex didn’t give you a reason for breaking up, it may be because she didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that something about your actions and behavior were turning her off.
The good news though, is that if you figure out where you went wrong, you can quickly change and improve yourself in some of the ways that are important to her.
Then, when you interact with her over the phone or in person and she picks up on the changes in you, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, her walls begin to crumble and she begins thinking things like, “He’s so different all of a sudden. Maybe we can work things out after all.”
Then, getting back together again becomes something she wants too, rather than you wanting it and her looking for excuses to push you away without hurting your feelings.
By the way…
Here are some examples of the type of things that women find difficult to admit are unattractive in a man to help you understand what you might have done wrong…
He was too needy and clingy (e.g. he didn’t have any interests, hobbies, friends or goals in life independent of her, he didn’t like it when she went out with her friends without him, he constantly asked her if she still loves him), so she ended up feeling responsible for his emotional well-being, which she doesn’t want.
The sex became dull and boring, causing her to stop feeling like a sexy, desirable woman with him. She began feeling more neutral around him and like they were friends, rather than a couple.
He wasn’t manly enough in the relationship with her, so she felt like she had to lead and be the man in the relationship. This made her feel more emotionally dominant than him which eroded her feelings of respect and attraction for him over time.
He was too emotionally sensitive and used to respond to stressful situations in his life like a child (e.g. threw a tantrum, cried, blamed other people for his problems).
When you fully understand where you went wrong with your ex, you can then change the things she really wants you to change, re-attract her and get her back.
Another possible reason why your ex won’t tell you why she broke up with you is…
5. She’s afraid to tell you the truth in case it makes you angry
Sometimes, a woman will get into a relationship with a man that she’s not fully attracted to, simply because he’s a good man.
Secretly, she may be hoping that her barely-there feelings for him will grow over time.
So, if he fails to create a relationship dynamic that causes her to fall in love with him, want to treat him well and be a good woman to him, she will eventually begin to lose interest.
If she then happens to meet another man who makes her feel strong surges of sexual attraction for him, she might not be able to resist the urge to cheat on her man with him.
Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s a bad person that can’t be trusted.
She may be an untrustworthy woman, but she could also mean that she simply wasn’t getting the attraction experience she wanted from her man, so she ended up turning to someone else to fulfill her sexual and emotional needs.
Yet, rather than hurting her guy by telling him that she cheated on him, she just decides to break up with him without giving him her reasons.
So, if you continue asking your ex to give her a reason why she broke up with you, make sure you can handle whatever reason she gives you – even that she cheated on you.
It’s then up to you to decide if you’re willing to get back together again with her and put in the effort to make the relationship work (i.e. by creating a relationship dynamic that causes her to want to be a faithful, loving woman to you), or to walk away and find yourself another, more attractive and loyal woman than her.
3 Mistakes That Slow the Ex Back Process Down
You don’t need your ex to tell you why she broke up with you to convince her to give you another chance.
What you do need, is to re-attract her by saying and doing the sort of things that are naturally attractive to women and make her feel like, if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will end up regretting it for the rest of her life.
This is why, it’s important that you avoid making the following mistakes that turn women off:
1. Writing her a long letter to express how you feel about her being so cold
Although it’s only natural for a guy to feel frustrated and even hurt to be broken up with without knowing the reason why, sending his ex a letter saying things like, “I can’t believe you can be so cold and unemotional after everything we shared together. Don’t you even care for me a little bit? How can you leave me hanging like this without an explanation and expect me to be okay? I loved you and I still do and not knowing what I did wrong is driving me crazy! How can you not give a damn?”
Secretly, he’s likely hoping that if he makes her feel sorry for him, not only will she tell him why she broke up with him, but she will also want to give him another chance.
Yet, that’s practically the last thing that will happen.
Why?
Emotional sensitivity and helplessness are sexually unattractive traits in a man.
So, when a guy is being vulnerable and seems unable to cope with a challenging situation in life (e.g. his ex not telling him why she broke up with him), a woman feels turned off by what she perceives as his wimpy, emotionally weak behavior.
Then, rather than make her stop being so cold towards him and want him back, it makes her lose even more respect and attraction for him than ever before.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Asking her if she ever truly loved you, or if the relationship was just fake
It might feel that way to you right now, but asking your ex if she ever loved you or if she was only with you until something better came along, is the fastest way to annoy her and possibly even make her say, “I don’t know if I loved you,” just to get under your skin.
Here’s why…
Women are instinctively turned off by men who need a woman to reassure them of their love or devotion, in order for him to feel like he’s good enough for her.
So when a man doubts himself and his attractiveness and value to a woman and has to ask her if her love for him was real, she loses respect and attraction for him.
So, don’t put yourself in that position.
Just believe in yourself and know that regardless of what happened, she really did love you.
When you believe in yourself in that way, you naturally project an air of self-confidence that is attractive to your ex and other women.
It then becomes easier for you to re-attract her and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Not realizing that his approach to attraction was most likely the main reason why
In most cases where a woman won’t tell a guy why they broke up, it’s because she doesn’t want to tell him that he wasn’t able to make her feel attracted in the ways that she wanted.
Some examples are…
- He was always being really nice, when she wanted him to be a bit more ballsy.
- He kept giving her too much power, when she wanted him to take control and be the man.
- He treated her too much like a she was angelic and pure, when she wanted him to treat her like a hot, sexy woman that he couldn’t keep his hands off.
- He gave up everything else in his life (e.g. his goals, dreams, friends, hobbies, interests) to devote all his time to her, when she wanted him to be more emotionally independent and not smother her so much.
Is it possible that you may have failed to notice that your approach was turning your ex off?
If so, don’t worry about it.
As long you’ve realized your mistake, you can easily change and improve and give your ex the attraction experience that she really wants.
The more you do that, the more her defenses will come down.
She then becomes open to spending more time with you.
You can then fully reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you, get her back and enjoy a new and improved relationship with her.
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