Some relationships take a bit longer to get back than others, but most of the cases that I’ve dealt with, a guy has been able to get his woman back within a few days to a couple of weeks.
Of course, some cases do take a little bit longer (e.g. the woman has already moved on, if he was abusive, if they’d broken up multiple times before then), so depending on the severity of your break up, you can expect to get your ex back within the next 24 hours, the next week, a couple of weeks or in extreme cases, a couple of months.
How quickly you get her back really depends on how willing you are to stop making all the classic mistakes that other guys make and start doing what actually works.
So, if you want to get your ex back fast, here are 6 mistakes to avoid…
1. Don’t use the No Contact rule
If you around the internet, most people will suggest that you don’t contact your ex for anywhere from 20-60 days after a break up.
They will also suggest that if your ex doesn’t come running back, then it wasn’t meant to be and you should just move on.
Some people will also tell you to wait another 30 days before contacting her again and if she’s not interested, just move on.
Crazy, right?
Well, that’s what happens when anyone can have a voice on the internet.
The No Contact rule is one of the most misunderstood pieces of advice that you will find online when it comes to getting an ex back, so I’m now going to clear it up for you.
The No Contact can sometimes work on a woman who really loves her man and just needs a little bit of time apart from him to realize that.
If he doesn’t contact her, she will feel lonely without him and worry that he will move on with another woman, so she will contact him and be interested in getting back.
Not contacting a woman for along time after a break up can also work on young women who can’t deal with the pain of a break up, or unattractive women who worry that they won’t be able to find replacement man before their ex moves on.
However, the majority of women (I’d say about 90% based on all my experience helping guys to get women back) simply use the no contact period to move on from their ex.
Why?
It’s very easy for most women to get laid and find a new guy. All a woman has to do is go out to a bar and say, “Yes” to the many guys who will be interested in having sex with her.
She can also just get on Tinder or use online dating and have 100s of guys ready to date her immediately.
So, if her ex doesn’t contact her, she will usually just use that time to start seeing other guys or having girl’s nights out with her girlfriend, which will often end up with a one night stand or her giving out her number to several guys in one night.
Yet, the same doesn’t apply for most guys after a break up.
Most guys are not skilled at attracting and picking up women, so it’s not as easy for them to find a replacement woman.
So, if a guy breaks up with a woman and she then doesn’t contact him for 30 days, he is going to be feeling pretty crappy about himself if he hasn’t been able to find a replacement woman.
He will then want to contact his ex-girlfriend (fiancé or wife) to check that she still misses him and wants to be with him and she will then have a chance to get him back.
In other words, the No Contact Rule usually works for women who want to get a man back, but if you are a man who wants to get a woman back, it will almost certainly be a very bad move on your part.
Watch this video to understand why most guys should not use the No Contact Rule to get a woman back…
If you want to get your ex back fast, don’t allow your ex to move on without you during a long no contact period.
To get a woman back, you need to be a man about this and fix your issues (e.g. insecurity), improve your ability to make her feel attracted to you and get her to meet up with you in person so she can experience the new and improved you.
2. Don’t beg or plead for another chance
When a guy is being dumped by the woman he loves, it can feel as though his entire world is coming crashing down around him and he is being left with nothing to live for anymore.
The woman that he loves, cherishes, cares about and wants to spend the rest of his life with is saying that she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore and is asking him to leave her alone.
It’s a horrible experience for a guy to go through and because of how painful the experience is, many guys make the mistake of begging and pleading for another chance.
Yet, begging and pleading only turns a woman off even more because women are attracted to the emotionally strength of men (e.g. confidence, high-self esteem, emotional independence) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, low self-esteem, emotional neediness).
Don’t worry if you’ve already made the mistake of pleading, because it is something that a woman can forgive.
I know that it can be forgiven because I’ve personally helped 100s of phone coaching clients to get a woman back and most women are able to look at it as a silly mistake that he made in response to her decision to end the relationship.
While getting broken up with, begging and pleading might feel like the fastest way to get a woman to give you another chance, but it’s actually the fastest way to turn her off further in that moment.
What a guy should really do during a break up is to accept her reasons for breaking up with him and then leave (or get her to leave) and just go away for a few days to fix and improve himself before he contacts her.
Not being in contact with her for 2-3 days so you can fix your issues and improve yourself, shows a woman that you respect her and appreciate her, but more importantly – that you have the capacity as a man to learn from mistakes and then improve and grow.
You’re not the sort of guy who makes the same mistakes over and over again, doesn’t ever listen to what a woman says and just expects her to want to be with you because you’re a nice guy.
You know that a woman’s respect and attraction for a man is something that needs to be maintained and built on over time.
You are one of the rare, intelligent men in this world who have the capacity to learn and grow from your mistakes so that you can become a bigger and better man over time.
When your ex realizes that you really have listened and you really have changed, she will then begin to lower her guard and take you seriously.
However, if you aren’t willing to make any changes to how you think, feel, behave and act around her and in life, you can’t expect her to want you back fast or ever at all.
3. Don’t say that you can’t live without her
One of the mistakes that guys make when trying to get a woman back, is to tell her that without her, his life means nothing and is not worth living.
Women hate to hear that because a woman doesn’t want to be a man’s purpose and reason for living life.
Women are naturally attracted to men who have purpose and ambitions in life that are in addition to a relationship with a woman.
If a man’s main purpose and ambition in life is just to have his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) in his life, he will almost always become insecure, jealous, clingy, needy or controlling after the initial stage of a relationship.
During the initial stage of a relationship, a woman will be showing her man a lot of attention, affection and love and he will feel wanted, respected, needed and happy as a result.
Yet, almost all women will test their man’s confidence after a few weeks or a few months of a relationship by pulling back their interest, affection and interest to see how he reacts.
A woman instinctively does this to ensure that she is in a relationship with a man who is going to continue to rise up through the levels of life and reach for his true potential as a man, regardless of whether or not she is giving him a lot of affection or attention.
If he fails the test by becoming insecure, needy and clingy, she will lose respect and attraction for him.
However, if he passes the test by maintaining 100% belief in his attractiveness to her and then simply continuing to make progress towards his biggest goals, dreams and ambitions in life, her respect and attraction for him will deepen.
She will feel as though she is with a man who loves her and wants to be with her, but doesn’t need her to constantly prop him up emotionally.
She has herself a man who is strong with or without her, which then allows her to relax into the exciting role of being his woman.
Yet, if he crumbles and becomes insecure when she pulls back her interest, then she starts to resent him for not allowing her to relax into being his woman.
If she wants to stay with him, she’s going to have to keep boosting his confidence by reassuring him that she loves him and wants to be with him.
The more she has to do that, the more she feels like a mother who needs to take care of a little boy or a big sister who is trying to make her little brother grow up to be a confident guy.
That’s not what a woman wants when in a relationship with a man.
Your ex wants you to be a ready-made man who does not need her to constantly boost your confidence or reassure you that everything is going to be okay.
She wants you to know that she will feel a deep, lifetime attraction for you if you can just be a real man and let her relax into the exciting role of being your woman.
So, when a guy makes the mistake of telling a woman that he can’t live without her or that is life is meaningless without her in it, she doesn’t feel amazed and excited to be in love with him.
Instead, she feels like he is more of a burden than a benefit to her and as a result, she tries to get herself out of or away from the relationship.
If you want to get your ex back fast, you have to understand that a woman doesn’t want to be your purpose in life or your reason for living.
She wants to be a part of your life and a part of your purpose, but she doesn’t to be responsible for your happiness and sense of identity in this world.
She wants you to be a confident, happy, forward moving man with or without her.
4. Don’t lie about being with other women
When a woman isn’t responding to the basic tricks (e.g. pleading, promising to change, saying that he can’t live without her, using the No Contact Rule), a guy will sometimes think that he can trick his ex into wanting him back by saying that he is dating or having sex with other women.
This is a trick that almost always backfires. Why?
If the guy is lying and is only doing it to make his ex jealous, all she has to say to ruin his plan is to say something like, “Okay fine. Enjoy your life with those women. Don’t ever contact me again.”
If he then comes groveling back to her, apologizing and asking for another chance, she will assume that he was only saying that to make her jealous and trick her into giving him another chance.
As a result, she will lose even more respect and attraction for him.
She will then likely want to get emotional revenge on him by going out and having sex with new guys, dating new guys or allowing herself to fall in love with a new guy.
If you want to get your ex back fast, it’s okay to hook up with other women to make your ex jealous, but it’s not actually necessary to get a woman back.
In my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, I explain how to get a woman back without having to hook up with another women at all.
You can hook up with other women if you want to, but it’s not actually necessary to get a woman back.
5. Don’t keep saying and doing the things that are turning her off
A woman attraction to a man is mostly based on how his personality, behavior and inner qualities make her feel.
For example: If a guy is interacting with a woman and he is being insecure, self-doubting, needy and emotionally sensitive, a woman is naturally going to feel turned off by him.
However, if a guy is interacting with a woman and he is being confident, displaying high self-esteem and he is emotionally strong, a woman is naturally going to feel attracted to him.
When getting your ex back, it’s important that you understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works.
If you don’t understand how attraction really works, it’s highly likely that you will continue to make subtle and maybe even obvious mistakes that further ruin her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
If you want to get your ex back fast, it’s critically important that from now on (in every interaction you have with her) you only make her feel respect and attraction for you, rather than continuing to make the same old mistakes that originally caused her to lose respect and attraction for you.
6. Don’t try to be her friend via text
A common mistake that guys make when trying to get an ex back is to stay in contact with her via text, in the hopes that it will keep him on her mind and she will then want to get back with him.
However, based on all the ex back cases that I’ve dealt with, I’ve found that staying in regular contact with a woman via text after a break up almost never results in her feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for her ex.
Instead, she loses more respect and attraction for him because still thinks about him as being the exact guy that she broke up with and can’t really SEE any changes in him by looking at a text message.
He might be trying to act cool, confident or funny via text, but she still looks at him as being the same old guy that she broke up with (e.g. insecure, controlling, needy, lacking purpose, etc).
So, here is what I advise you to do if you want to get your ex back fast…
Do not give your ex the privilege of being able to text you like a friend, while she moves on with her life without you.
The only time you should send her a text message or reply to one of her texts is to get her on an actual phone call, so you can then get her to agree to meet up with you in person.
When you meet up with her in person, you can then get her to forgive you and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, which will then bring down her guard and open her back up to being with you again.
None of those things can be achieved by texting her. You have to get her on a phone call and then meet up with her in person, so you can show her that you really have changed.
However, be warned: The most important thing to your ex is not that you have changed and improved as a man.
What is important to her?
That SHE feels differently around you (e.g. she feels respect, attraction and love again) based on the changes you have made.
When getting an ex back, you must remember that it needs to be about her getting what SHE wants, not what you getting what you want.
You will only get what you want (i.e. get her back) if you can give her the respect and attraction experience that will bring down her guard and allow her to naturally open herself back up to you again.
Getting Your Ex Back Fast
From now on, you need to start making your ex feel a renewed sense of attraction and respect for you when you interact with her.
For example: When you call her up on the phone, you need to be able to get her smiling, laughing and enjoying talking to you, especially if she starts off being cold and distant.
When you get her smiling and laughing and are not fazed by her coldness, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you for having the balls and skills to be able to make her feel that way.
You can also make her feel respect and attraction by allowing her to experience your renewed confidence and emotional strength while you talk to her.
However, just don’t make the mistake of trying to make her feel bad by acting like you are so happy and confident without her.
You have to be emotionally strong, but also be loving, kind and considerate. If not, she will put her guard up and want to get emotional revenge on you for attempting to make her feel bad.
The Best Way to Get Your Ex Back Fast is to Follow a Step-by-Step Plan
Getting an ex back is a very easy, exciting and life-changing process if you follow the right steps.
Yet, most guys don’t ever get the training they need and simply make mistake after mistake, which pushes the woman even further away.
If you want to get your ex back fast, I recommend that you don’t waste anymore time and just start watching the 10 hours of video training in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
After watching the training, you will be ready to get in contact with her your ex and get her to meet up with you again.
When you meet up with her, you will be able to make her forgive you, trigger her feelings of romantic and sexual attraction for you and get her feel happy about giving the relationship another chance.
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