Here are the 4 most common reasons why a woman will say that to her boyfriend:
1. She is tired of being in a relationship without mutual attraction
A woman will sometimes get into a relationship with a guy, even though she doesn’t feel a strong spark of attraction for him (e.g. because she doesn’t like being single and she likes being spoiled by a man, he kept asking her out and eventually she gave in and said yes, he was a friend and he grew on her over time).
In her mind she may be thinking something along the lines of, “He’s a nice guy and I really do like him. He’s fun to hang out with and we get along well. I think that if I give him a chance, we could be happy together.”
If the guy can continue to grow her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him, she will naturally fall more and more in love with him and begin thinking of him as her ideal man.
However, if he fails to build on her feelings for him and she realizes that even though he’s madly in love with her and is always saying things like, “I’m so lucky to have you in my life,” or “You’re the perfect woman for me. I feel so happy knowing that you’re mine,” she just doesn’t feel the same way about him, she will feel like pulling away, being closed off and treating him with less and less respect over time.
She may then begin to ask herself things like, “Is this it? Is this how it’s supposed to feel when you’re in love? Well if it is, I don’t want it. It just doesn’t feel right to me and I’d rather be single than settle for being with a guy I don’t feel sexually and romantically attracted to.”
When a woman reaches that point in her relationship with a man where the feelings are no longer mutual, it’s only natural that she may decide to break up with him.
However, rather than come out and say, “I’m sorry but I just don’t have any feelings for you anymore,” and then have to deal with him trying to talk her out of her decision (e.g. by promising her that he will change, begging and pleading with her to give you another chance, offering to do anything she wants), she may just decide to let him down easy by saying something along the lines of, “You really are a great guy, but I have no choice but to break up with you.”
It then leaves it up to his imagination to try and understand what she meant by that (e.g. Is it because her family and friends are forcing her to break up with him? Is she struggling to cope with her work/university commitments as well as the relationship? Is something wrong with her and she just doesn’t want to tell him?), without her having to explain her real reasons why.
Here’s the thing though…
Even if your ex never felt strong attraction or love for you before, or stopped having those feelings somewhere along the line because certain aspects of your thinking and behavior turned her off, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make her feel like that now.
In fact, when you interact with her and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you again, making her feel like a sexy, desirable woman by being more emotionally masculine than her, being more manly and assertive in the way you respond to her), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
Even though she may have previously felt convinced that she didn’t have strong enough feelings for you to stay in the relationship with you, she will suddenly start wondering if she made a big mistake when she broke up with you.
When that happens, she will open up to kissing you and having sex with you to see how she feels from there.
Another possible reason why your ex said that she has no choice but to break up with you is…
2. She doesn’t want to try to work on the relationship anymore
In almost all cases, a woman won’t just break up with a guy before she gives him at least one chance to change and improve.
For example: If a woman feels that her guy isn’t emotionally dominant enough, she might say things like, “I prefer it when you make the decisions for the both of us,” or “You’re really sexy when you’re in charge,” or “I can’t relax and be myself when you don’t take the lead in some of the things we need to do.”
If he doesn’t pick up on her hints, or simply just ignores them by telling himself something like, “I don’t know why she keeps saying those things to me. I just want her to be happy and that’s why I let her call all the shots. Then she can have what she wants without me having to guess and then stuff things up,” her hints will then begin to turn into arguments and fights where she tries to force him into taking on the more dominant role with her (e.g. by being stubborn and refusing to make any decisions, throwing tantrums).
Eventually though, if she notices that no matter what she says to him, or how many fights and arguments they get into about the same thing, he always falls back to his old pattern of being submissive around her, she may start threatening to break up with him.
This might shock him into taking her concerns more seriously and he may then say something like, “Please don’t leave me. I promise I will change.”
She may then give him another chance (and quite often more than one) to become the man she wants him to be.
However, if he breaks his promises to her over and over again and continuously reverts back to his old pattern of thinking and behavior, her feelings of love and attraction will begin to fade away, until she finally decides to break up with him.
The guy might then try to make her change her mind yet again, but by that stage she’s usually feeling so fed up with him and all his broken promises that she no longer wants to try and work on the relationship.
She might then say something like, “I’m sorry, but I’ve given you enough chances already and now, I have no choice but to break up with you.”
Here’s the thing though…
For your ex to change her mind and open back up to the idea of having a relationship with you again, it’s vital that you understand and then change the main thing that was turning her off about you (e.g. you were too insecure and needy, you were too submissive with her, you were childish and immature).
Only then will she be willing to let down her defenses and open up to the idea of working on the relationship again.
Another possible reason why your ex said that she has no choice but to break up with you is…
3. She hopes this break will wake you up and force you to quickly change, so you and her can have another chance
Sometimes, as a last resort to shock her guy into changing and improving, she might decide to break up with him.
Essentially, she’s likely hoping that the shock of losing her will shake him up and force him to quickly change.
They can then get back together in a relationship that is better than ever before.
Unfortunately though, it doesn’t always work out that way.
For example: In some cases, a guy might start thinking things like, “I’m such an idiot! I lost my ideal woman. It’s over and there’s nothing I can do to make her change her mind and get her back. It’s hopeless.”
He then closes himself off from her (i.e. he doesn’t bother texting or calling her) and allows himself to fall into a negative funk where he loses confidence in himself and in his ability to get her back.
If his ex then happens to call him to see why he’s not contacting her and discovers a guy who is wallowing in despair, she will feel turned off by his emotional weakness.
She will then likely give up on the idea of him being able to change and become the man she wants him to be and she will focus on getting over him and moving on.
This is why, regardless of what your girlfriend said to you (i.e. that she has no choice but to break up with you), you need to take action to get her back.
Firstly, you need to understand her real reasons for breaking up with you, so that you can quickly make some attractive changes to yourself.
Then, you need to interact with her over the phone and in person and begin reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction for you by showing her that you’re a new and improved man now.
For example:
- You’re less insecure and self-doubting now, which means you don’t fear losing her and as a result being too clingy and needy.
- You’re more emotionally independent, which means that you don’t need her in your life to be able to function and feel happy and satisfied. Yes, you want her, but you don’t need her.
- You’re more emotionally masculine now, which means that you no longer allow her to dominate you during interactions or disrespect you in any way, like she used to in the past.
- You’re now less emotionally sensitive, which means you no longer cry or whine about your problems or issues. Instead, you face them head on like a man and do what needs to be done to solve them or overcome them.
- You’re more of a challenge around her now (e.g. you’re not always available to her when she wants, you laugh at her in a loving way when she creates drama), which means she feels more sexually attracted to you, rather than feeling friendly or neutral emotions.
When your ex can see for herself that you really have changed this time, her feelings for you will also begin to change.
She naturally drops her guard and opens up to being with you romantically and sexually again, because she can see that you’re now the man she always wanted you to be.
Another possible reason why your ex said that she has no choice but to break up with you is…
4. She is tired of being taken for granted
For a woman to be happy in a relationship with her man, she needs him to be good to her, but also make her feel motivated to be good to him, treat him well and make him feel loved as well.
Unfortunately though, where guys go wrong in a relationship with a woman, is by not putting enough effort into the relationship and causing her to feel like he doesn’t appreciate her or what she does for him.
So, if a woman starts to feel that she is the one in the relationship who is always compromising and putting her man’s needs ahead of her own, while he always seems to be the one taking, she will naturally begin to feel resentful, taken for granted and unloved.
Initially, she might try to change his attitude towards her by sulking, getting into arguments with him, or even threaten to breakup with him.
However, if he just gets annoyed with her for creating drama, accuses her of being a moody, temperamental woman, or assumes that because she loves him “she will get over it,” his attitude will begin to erode her feelings for him.
Eventually, she will get to the point where she’s had enough and she may then say something along the lines of, “I gave you so many chances to start treating me better and you never took me seriously, so now I have no choice but to break up with you. Bye.”
If this rings a bell for you, then to make your ex open back up to giving you another chance, you need to show her (via your attitude and the way you think, act, behave and treat her) that you have learned from your mistakes and have become a better man as a result.
Of course, don’t turn into a wuss either and run around doing everything just to please her, because that will give her a false sense of power over you and make her respect you even less.
Instead, briefly apologize to her for your past behavior and then just focus on making her smile, laugh and feel attracted and in love with the new you.
4 Ways That Guys Reduce Their Chances of Getting an Ex Back
When a woman disconnects from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, for him to get her back, he needs to say and do the types of things that will reactivate those feelings inside of her and make her see him in a more positive light.
Unfortunately though, a lot of guys say and do the types of things that actually turn her off even more and as a result, reduce their chances of getting her back.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Here are 4 mistakes to avoid making if you want to re-attract your ex and get her back:
1. Begging and pleading for another chance, which only turns her off more
A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on his ability to make her feel like she can look up to him and respect him as man.
So, when a guy is begging and pleading and behaving like an emotionally weak, wimpy man around her, rather than make her change her mind about breaking up with him, he’s actually convincing her even more that she made the right decision.
Even though he has good intentions (by begging and pleading), because he really wants things to work between them, his approach is all wrong.
He’s trying to get her back by displaying traits and behaviors that actually turn women off, so it’s just not going to work.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Asking her what you can fix or change to get another chance
This might seem like a great idea, after all, if you know exactly what turned your ex off, you’ll be able to give her exactly what she wants, yet it’s definitely not.
Why?
Most women don’t want to be responsible for shaping their ex into the man that he needs to become to make her happy.
Instead, she wants him to figure out how to be the kind of man that she wants and then start being that man, without needing her input or direction.
If he needs her to tell him what to do and how to do it, it takes the romance out of it and she feels as though he’s putting on an act to impress her.
This is why, in almost all ex back cases, you have to figure out how to re-attract her without asking her what you need to fix.
Then, go ahead and do that and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Accusing her of being selfish or heartless
A guy accusing a woman of being selfish or heartless to make her change her mind about breaking up with him, is like him driving past a police officer at 200mph and expecting not to get a fine.
It just doesn’t work.
Not only does it make her feel defensive and annoyed, it also highlights to her that he actually doesn’t understand why she broke up with him in the first place.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t like to be emotionally blackmailed into a relationship.
Instead, she will feel more determined to move on and find a new man as quickly as possible.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Trying to convince her that he can change if she just gives him another chance
Chances are high, that you’ve already promised your ex that you will change many times before and haven’t fully followed through on that promise, otherwise, you wouldn’t be in the situation you are right now (i.e. broken up with).
So, if you try to convince her that this time will be different, you’re likely just going to be wasting your and her time, because she’s not going to believe.
Remember: Actions speak louder than words.
So, forget trying to convince her with words and start convincing her with your actions.
Show her that things will be different by letting her experience the new and improved you for herself.
When she can sense the changes in you, her perspective of you will change and following that, her feelings will change too.
She will then open back up the idea of giving you another chance, without you having to pressure her into it.
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