If you’re asking, “How can I prove to my ex that I am the right guy for her?” the simple answer is…
Prove that you are the right guy for her by showing her, rather than trying to explain why.
You need to interact with her on the phone or in person and make her have the type of feelings that naturally make her want to be in a relationship with you.
For example: Does she currently look up to you and respect you as a man?
If not, that’s the main thing that you need to fix first, otherwise she will not allow herself to feel attracted to you.
Are you able to make her feel attracted, and laugh, smile and feel good when interacting with you?
If not, that’s the second thing you that need to improve.
Once you get some of her respect and attraction back, she will then look at you in a different light.
All it takes is a little spark to begin the process, and you then build on it immediately, or during 2-3 more interactions that bring her guard down and make her want to get back together with you.
Once you have re-sparked your ex’s feelings and begun to build on them, she will realize that you really have changed and that she now feels so much better when interacting with you.
In most cases, the woman will then consider giving her ex another chance because things really are different now.
Common Mistakes That Will Make Her Think You Are NOT the Right Guy For Her
When a guy is feeling desperate about getting his ex back, he might begin to make mistakes that turn her off even further and cause her to close up and not even want to discuss the relationship any more.
So, if you’re going to prove to your ex that you’re the right guy for her, here are 5 mistakes you should avoid making…
1. Apologizing excessively.
Most guys in the world are good guys.
So, when a woman breaks up with a good guy, it’s only natural that he will want to apologize for causing her so much emotional pain and frustration in the relationship.
Although there is nothing wrong with apologizing to a woman after a break up, there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to do it.
The wrong way to do it is by apologizing to her over and over again, and taking the blame for everything that happened between you and her.
For example: A guy might say something like, “I’m so sorry! Please forgive me. I know that it’s all my fault. You treated me so nicely, gave me so many chances and I just took it all for granted. I’m sorry. I can’t bear the thought of being the one to cause you so much pain. I can’t say sorry enough times. Can you ever forgive me? Please…let’s just start over again. I’m sorry.”
He assumes that if he shows her just how sorry he is for what happened between them, it will change how she feels and she will then open up and take him back.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
The main reason why excessive apologizing doesn’t work is that in most cases, a woman will have broken up with a guy for deeper, more complex reasons.
So, him simply saying, “I’m sorry,” and hoping that everything will then be better again, makes her feel like he’s not really aware of the deeper reasons why she broke up with him.
For example: A guy might have used her as an excuse to hide from his true potential in life.
Initially, she was flattered that he wanted to spend so much time with her, but she eventually realized that he was going nowhere fast and was yet another guy who was afraid to rise up to reach for his true potential as a man.
Instead, he just used her and the relationship as a way to waste time and hide away from following through on his ambitions and dreams.
She may have nagged him to do more with his life, get promoted or start that project he used to tell her about when they first met, but he just didn’t listen to her warnings.
Since they had been so in love at the beginning of the relationship, he assumed that she would just stick around and love him for who he had become.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
Another example is when a guy becomes clingy, needy and insecure and needs his woman to constantly reassure him of her love.
Initially, she might think that it’s sweet how attentive he is, but when it turns into jealous insecurity, controlling clingy behavior and neediness, it quickly begins to turn sour.
These examples (and many more) are the types of deeper, more complex reasons that cause a woman to break up with a guy.
So, when a guy is apologizing, taking the blame for everything and expecting her to just forgive him, he’s not making the woman feel like he’s fully understood the seriousness of what went wrong between them.
She’s not feeling heard and understood and feels as though he is saying sorry to get another chance, but doesn’t have a clue how to quickly transform into the type of man that she needs him to be.
So, by all means, go ahead and apologize to your ex, but if you want to prove to her that you’re the right guy for her, the right way to do it, is by showing her that you’ve begun to understand what caused her to break up with you in the first place.
For example: A way to apologize that will get some of her respect and attraction back, is by saying something like, “I’m sorry for what happened between us. I now see what I did wrong and understand why you felt that you needed to break up with me. I accept that, but I do want to tell you that I’m not the same guy that you broke up with. I understand that you can’t believe me right away and that’s okay, but I want you to know that I’m sorry and I accept the break up.”
From there, make sure that you use every interaction you have with her as an opportunity to spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you even more.
2. Using text or e-mail to write long messages explaining how much you have learned since the break up.
It’s only natural that when a woman is saying, “Leave me alone. I don’t want to see you or talk to you again. I’ve realized that you’re not the right guy for me,” a guy is going to feel completely stuck about how he can go about convincing her that he’s really changed.
He might then decide that if she won’t talk to him on the phone, or see him in person, the only way he can get through to her is by sending her a text message or an e-mail to explain to her how much he’s learned since their break up.
Although this might seem as the only way to get through to her, rather than convince her that he’s a different man, in most cases it actually makes her lose even more respect for him as a man. Why?
Look at it this way…
When a woman has broken up with a guy and is currently feeling negative emotions about him (e.g. anger, resentment, a lack of respect), she’s likely not going to look at a text message or e-mail from him in a favorable light.
Basically, because she cannot see him, she has to guess at his state of mind.
So, if in her mind she is thinking negative things about him (e.g. “He’s clingy” “He has no purpose in his life” “He’s emotionally weak”) she’s not going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s now a completely changed man and is no longer insecure.
Instead, she is likely going to be thinking, “What does my ex want? He keeps telling me that he’s changed, but I don’t believe him. Why should I?”
Essentially, most things that he says via text or e-mail, will usually be judged by her in a negative way.
On the other hand, if he talks to her in person, she can notice for herself that he’s changed without him having to tell her.
She can experience his confidence, and she can see that he’s learned from his past mistakes via the way he talks, behaves and interacts with her.
So, if you want to prove to your ex that you’re the right guy for her, then you should only text her as a way to get her on a phone call, where you can then spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you by making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with you again.
From there, you need to get her to agree to see you in person, so that you can continue to build on those feelings of respect and attraction in her.
When you spark her feelings for you again, her guard begins to come down and she opens up to being with you again because it now feels good to her.
3. Pleading with her to remember the good times.
A mistake that some guys make is to beg and plead with their ex to remember how good it used to be between them.
For example: A guy might say, “How can you forget all the good times we had together? Yes, I messed up, but don’t all the good times make up for that? What we had can’t be found with anyone else! Please give me another chance to show you that I’m the right guy for you. What you and I have is special. I screwed up I know, but please give me another chance. I’m begging you. You are the only woman I’ve ever truly loved. I don’t want anyone else. Please give me another chance! Please!”
Obviously, the guy really loves her, but it’s not an approach that works on a woman who has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy.
In most cases, when a woman is not feeling attracted to him and not feeling respect for him, she just doesn’t care that he cares about her, the relationship or anything else.
His feelings just don’t matter to her because she no longer feels respect, attraction and love for him.
She has to be cold in that way to disconnect herself from the relationship.
If she cares about his feelings, he will be able to get her back very easily, so she disconnects.
When he tries to reason with her and explain that what they had together was special, she’s likely going to say something like, “Yes, what we had in the beginning was good, but it hasn’t been good for a long time. The fact that you don’t even know why I’m breaking up with you, tells me that nothing has really changed. So, there’s really no reason to get back together again. You just don’t understand me. You’re not the right guy for me.”
Essentially what she’s saying is that her positive feelings for him (e.g. respect, attraction, love) have been replaced by negative feelings (e.g. anger, resentment, pain), so she no longer feels like he is the guy for her.
Unless he actively makes her have feelings for him again, she’s not going to change her mind.
She won’t start thinking, “Hmmm, hang on a second. He’s right! Our relationship was so wonderful in the beginning. We had such great times together. He was so nice to me…so romantic…so sweet. Well, based on that I’m going to stick with him and hopefully one day things will get better. I don’t care that he doesn’t understand what I want…I’m just going to get back together with him because things used to be good.”
Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works.
These days, women no longer have to stay in a relationship that doesn’t suit them.
In the past, a woman was expected to stay with her husband until death, regardless of whether she was happy, or even if he was a bad man.
Today, if a woman isn’t feeling the way she wants to feel in a relationship, she can break up with her boyfriend (fiancé or husband) and move on.
So, if you want your ex back, don’t waste a lot of time pleading and trying to convince your ex that you’re the right guy for her based on the past.
She needs to feel respect and attraction for you right now based on experiencing the new and improved version of you.
How you make her feel now is what counts.
4. Telling her that no other guy will love her like you do.
You know how much you love her.
Yet, that isn’t what she is going to care about now that she has disconnected with her feelings for you.
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for her ex, hearing something like, “You will never find a guy who will love you like I do. You are everything to me. Why can’t you see that I’m the right guy for you? I love you more than life itself” isn’t going to matter that much to her.
Basically, a woman won’t care that a guy loves her, if she doesn’t respect him or feel attracted to him.
If there is no respect or attraction, she will disconnect with the love and she won’t be able to reconnect with it until he makes her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved version of him.
If you don’t make her have feelings for you first, she’s not going to care how much you love her compared to other guys.
If another guy comes along and makes her feel respect and attraction for him in ways that you are currently unable to, she’s going to value him more than she does you.
I know, it sucks to even think about that, but that’s how human relationships work.
It’s a value exchange.
You get a lot of value from her based on the feelings you have for her, but if she doesn’t get that same value in return, it’s a bad deal and she won’t want to be a part of it.
She will seek to find a guy who can give her the value that has been missing and that she feels she deserves.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was too insecure and clingy, her new guy will usually be more confident and self-assured.
If a woman broke up with a guy because he lacked purpose and direction in life, she will likely choose a guy who is more focused and driven.
Ultimately, it won’t matter to a woman how much her ex loves her and cares for her, if he’s unable to give her the experience she wants in a relationship.
So, don’t worry about telling your ex how much you love her.
She’s not going to care about that until you can prove to her that you are the right guy for her by actually being that guy.
Not talking about it with her, but doing it.
When she feels respect and attraction to the new and improved you, she will automatically start to reconnect with the love that she had for you before, even if she doesn’t want to or didn’t intend to.
Once it feels like more of an even value exchange, she will begin to appreciate that you really love her more than any other guy and she now feels attracted and respectful towards you whenever she interacts with you.
5. Saying that your life would not be worth living without her in it.
Some guys simply can’t deal with the reality of being dumped by a woman that they love.
This is especially true when a guy has made the classic mistake of detaching from everything else in his life (e.g. his friends, interests, hobbies), to focus all of his attention on his girlfriend (fiancé or wife).
When he gets broken up with, he feels like his entire world is coming crashing down around him.
He might also feel betrayed because she would have most likely said that she wanted to grow old with him and stay with him forever.
Now, she wants out of the relationship?
It’s a horrible moment for a guy to go through when he realizes that relationships are a decision.
Both people either decide to be together or not and each of them have the individual power to say, “Yes” or “No” to staying or leaving themselves.
A guy then realizes that he doesn’t own his woman and that she can leave him for her own reasons, regardless of what he says.
He might say something like, “How can you do this to me? I’ve devoted my life to you and now you’re leaving me. I can’t live without you. There’s just no point anymore…everything I did was for you and now that you’re gone, why should I carry on without you? I don’t want to be alive any more. You are what I live for…our relationship…that is what I care about.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
A woman does want to be appreciated, love and wanted, but she doesn’t want to be a guy’s reason for living or purpose in life.
So, when a guy tries to prove to his ex that he is the right guy for her by threatening to hurt himself, it usually backfires and turns the woman off even further.
She realizes that he isn’t mature enough to keep an adult relationship together and she decides to just leave him and try to find a man who is ready to be what she needs in a relationship.
So, the best way to prove to your ex that you’re the right guy for her is by re-sparking some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you, and the way to do that is to show her that you are being an emotionally strong guy who can live with, or without her.
It’s not about telling her that you don’t want her in your life.
You want her, but you don’t need her.
You can show her that you don’t need her by making progress in your life without her.
However, if she asks whether or not you still love her or miss her, the answer is, “Yes.”
You still love her and miss her, but you accept the break up and are moving on with your life.
That then allows her to relax and feel like you’re not trying to force her back into a relationship.
Then, as you build on her feelings of respect and attraction for you, her guard comes down and she opens back up to being in a relationship with you again.
A Break Up Doesn’t Have to Be Permanent (Most Aren’t)
It’s frustrating when you can clearly see that you’re the right guy for your ex, but she can’t.
It’s like she is completely forgetting all the good times you had and only focusing on the negatives.
While that might be true, it’s nothing to waste any more time worrying about.
What works to get a woman back is to make her feel the types of feelings she wants to feel (e.g. respect, attraction) in a relationship, so that she naturally begins to feel drawn to you again.
So, rather than doing the kind of things that will turn her off even more (e.g. sending her long e-mails or messages, begging, pleading, apologizing excessively, telling her how much you love her, threatening to hurt yourself), just focus on using every interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to re-spark some of her feelings for you.
When you make her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with you, she will naturally drop her guard and be more open to the idea of getting back together again.
Respect and attraction comes first, and then everything else will follow on naturally from there.
You can do this.
You can prove to her that you are the right guy for her, reactivate her feelings and quickly guide her back into a relationship with you.
These days, guys all over the world are able to get their woman back after a break up, because you and other guys are no longer on your own with this.
I’m here to help you get your ex back and make her realize that you are the one for her.
You can leave my site now and try to work out what you need to say and do to get another chance with her, or you can let me help you further.
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