To stop your ex from being so indifferent, you need to:
1. Trigger the specific emotions that will make her become interested in you again
Up until today, you may have been making her feel unattractive emotions, such as pity, resentment, stress, disappointment and apathy for you based on your approach to her.
As a result of making her feel that way, rather than giving you another chance, she closes herself off even more (i.e. she’s acts indifferent, or is cold and distant).
However, you can change that.
When you interact with her from now on, you just have to make sure that you cause her to feel emotions such as respect, attraction, love, happiness, joy, excitement, curiosity, wonder and delight.
How can you do that?
One way to do it is to focus on making her to smile, laugh and feel happy every time she interacts with you from now on.
When she is smiling and laughing with you, it makes it difficult for her to hold onto any negative feelings about you at the same time.
She relaxes her guard and naturally becomes more open to interacting with you again, rather than giving you the cold shoulder like she has been lately.
So, whether you’re texting her, calling her on the phone or seeing her in person, you need to use every interaction that you have to make her feel happy to be hearing from you.
The more fun she has while interacting with you, the more that her indifference towards you will fade away and be replaced by openness and curiosity.
As a result, she will naturally want to hear from you and see you more often.
When that happens (often instantly and in more difficult cases, over a few days), you just need to maintain your confidence and her walls will crumble.
On the other hand, if you continue to trigger negative emotions every time you interact with her (e.g. you make her feel annoyed, stressed, upset) she will continue being indifferent and will say things like, “I don’t care what you’ve got to say. Just leave me alone,” or “Whatever…I’m not interested. You need to move on.”
So, make sure that you focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you, rather than making her feel negative emotions and then expecting to get another chance from that.
Another way to stop your ex from being so indifferent towards you is…
2. Don’t seek pity for how she is hurting you with her indifference
Sometimes, when a guy’s ex woman is being cold and indifferent towards him, he might say things like, “Why are you being like this? After everything we had together, is this how you act towards me? Is it fun for you to watch me hurt like this? I can’t believe you’re being so cold-hearted. How can you do this to me? Can’t you see that I’m hurt by how you are behaving? How can you just stop caring like this? Where is your heart?”
Essentially, he is hurt by her indifference towards him since the break up and can’t think of any other way to get through to her and make her care.
He hopes that if he makes her feel sorry for him and feel guilty about how she is behaving, she might change her mind and give him another chance.
Yet, it just doesn’t work like that.
A woman doesn’t want to be manipulated into giving her ex another chance simply because he can’t deal with the idea that the relationship is over.
Additionally, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her ex, she stops caring about how her behavior is affecting him.
It’s all about her now and how she feels, not him and how he feels.
If he is unable to make her feel like she is attracted to him again and wants a relationship, she will just continue to move on and not worry about how badly it might affect him.
So, when the guy behaves in ways that turn her off (e.g. begging and pleading with her to listen to him, being needy and insecure around her, accusing her of never really loving him), she becomes even more disinterested in what he has to say.
Rather than think, “He’s right. We used to be so in love. Based on that alone, I owe it to him to give him another chance,” a woman will usually think something like, “Why won’t he just leave me alone? Yes, we loved each other once, but it’s over now. He’s just prolonging his pain by not accepting that it’s over between us. I do feel sorry for him, but the more he whines and pleads with me, the more he convinces me that he’s just not the man for me. Doesn’t he realize that women aren’t attracted to emotionally weak, desperate men? Doesn’t he realize that he needs to show me his confidence at this point and create a spark with me again? Well, I’m not going to tell him that. If he can’t figure it out for himself, I will have to move on.”
So, don’t bother trying to make your ex feel pity for how she is hurting you with her indifference because it will just turn her off even more.
Instead, focus on reawakening her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by being confident and self-assured around her regardless of how she behaves, using humor to break down her defenses).
The more that you can make her respect you for handling the break up in such a confident, emotionally mature way, the more her indifference will begin to fade away and be replaced by curiosity and attraction.
Another way to stop your ex from being so indifferent towards you is…
3. Don’t try to convince her to give you another chance based on the changes you’ve made
Quite often, when a guy knows some of the reasons why his woman broke up with him, he will quickly make some changes and then tell her about those changes in the hopes of convincing her to give him another chance.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was too emotionally immature and lazy and had no clear direction in his life, he might then rush out and get a job.
Then, when he interacts with his ex he might say to her, “Hey, I’m working now. I’ve changed. I’ve improved. I’m no longer sitting around doing nothing with my life. I’m more mature now. Isn’t that what you always wanted? Please give me another chance.”
Yet, a woman doesn’t want to be told that you’ve changed simply to get another chance with her.
She sees that as desperate and as you following her lead.
A woman doesn’t want to be a man’s leader in a sexual, romantic relationship because that makes her feel like his mother.
She wants her guy to change and improve because he wants to and then not rush and tell her all about it.
If the changes are more about a guy’s emotional issues (e.g. he was insecure and is now confident), she wants to be able to experience the changes for herself based on the way he know talks to her, behaves in her presence and the way he reacts and responds to what she says and does.
For example: Does he maintain his confidence even when she is being indifferent, or does he become upset, insecure and self-doubting?
So, don’t bother trying to convince your ex to give you another chance based on the changes you’ve made since the break up.
Just be the new, improved version of yourself when you talk to her and she will pick up on it herself.
She doesn’t want you to tell her and essentially expect a pat on the head or on the back, along with, “Good on you. I’m proud of you.”
That’s not the role that a girlfriend, fiance or wife wants to play in her man’s life.
She wants to see that you have changed because you wanted to and don’t need to get her approval about it.
You are simply a new and improved man and are moving forward in life, regardless of whether she gives you the nod of approval for the changes or not.
Another way to make your ex stop being so indifferent towards you is…
4. Don’t try to get her to show interest via text
Texts are so easily misinterpreted and if you haven’t reactivated her feelings (of respect, sexual attraction and love) first in person or on a phone call, she can easily feel annoyed and pressured by what you are texting her.
For example: A guy might think it will be cute to text her, “Good morning,” but she will see it as annoying because she is still turned off by how he behaved leading up to the break up and during it.
Here’s the thing…
When a couple uses texting to communicate in a happy relationship that is going along smoothly, pretty much every message sent and received will be perceived in a good way. Why?
The emotions between them are positive (i.e. respect, attraction, love, admiration) and therefore, everything sent and received will usually be interpreted in a positive way.
For example: If a guy in a relationship that has been together for years (and is happy) sends a text asking his woman, “Hey, why are you ignoring me? I sent you a text hours ago” because she didn’t respond to him for many hours, she’s usually going to smile and reply with something along the lines of, “Why? Did you miss me?”
She will feel flattered and be happy that he’s thinking about her.
Now imagine a woman receiving a similar text message from her ex (e.g. “Hey, why are you being so cold and detached towards me? Why are you ignoring me?”).
Rather than make her smile and think, “Awww… I’ve been such a bitch to my ex. He sounds like he really misses me and wants to work things out between us and I’m just making it so difficult for him. I’m going to stop right away and give him a chance,” she’s just going to assume the worst of him instead.
If he was a bit insecure or needy in the relationship with her, she’ll interpret his text as another sign that he hasn’t changed.
She will start imagining things about him that might not even be real (e.g. he’s too afraid to call her, he’s not man enough to talk to her face-to-face, he’s lost all his confidence and is a lonely, wimpy guy now) and she will feel even more turned off by him, even though he hasn’t done anything wrong other than send a text.
This is why it’s so important that you only use texting as a way of getting her laughing a little and getting her on a phone call with you, where you can re-spark her feelings and convince her to meet up in person.
When she can hear the tonality of your voice on a phone call and see your confident body language in person, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to feel indifferent.
Whether she wants to admit it or not, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you again because you’re no longer behaving like the guy she broke up with.
On the other hand, if all she’s getting from you is a bunch of (whiny, lonely or boring) texts, the only thing you will be making her feel is turned of.
So, make sure that you call her on the phone right away, where you can then make her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you again.
When you do that, her indifference will automatically begin to melt away and she will naturally begin to want to talk to you and interact with you again.
5 Mistakes That Many Guys Make When Trying to Get Their Ex Woman to Stop Being Indifferent
You’re not alone.
It’s not only you who is facing this particular problem, so don’t worry.
So many other guys are dealing with an ex woman who is behaving indifferent towards them, even though she used to be in love with them.
It sucks.
However, you can fix the problem and get her to want you again if you approach her correctly from now on.
For example: Some common mistakes guys make that cause their ex to ignore them even more are…
1. Thinking that she’s being indifferent because she’s a bad person now, rather than understanding that his unattractive approach is causing the indifference
Sometimes, a guy feels so frustrated with his ex for ignoring him that he starts to think that her behavior is all her fault.
He may begin to think something like, “She’s such a bitch! I never realized it before because I was so blinded by my love for her, but it’s all clear to me now that she is a selfish, self centered bitch who doesn’t care about anyone, but herself. After everything we shared together, this is how she behaves! I bet she didn’t even love me and it was all an act. I see her true colors now. She never cared about me and probably never will. She’s a selfish bitch!”
Sometimes, a guy will think like that because he can’t deal with the thought of her not being as devastated about their break up as he is.
He can’t believe that he is still in so love with her, but she essentially feels nothing for him now.
So, to make himself feel better, he looks at her indifference as meaning that she is a bad person now, or has always been a bad person in disguise.
Yet, that rarely is the case.
Sure, there are some cold, heartless women out there who enjoy breaking a guy’s heart, but most women are good people and break up with a guy because he is no longer able to make her feel attracted or in love.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman breaks up with a guy, he immediately changes and begins to re-attract her, he will immediately get her back in almost all cases.
Likewise, if it takes him a couple of weeks to prepare to re-attract her and then he does that, he will be able to get her back in most cases.
Getting an ex back is all about re-attraction.
If you are able to make her feel attracted to you again, she then has a very personal reason (i.e. she’s feeling attracted to you again and can’t stop thinking about you now) to stop being indifferent towards you.
A lot of guys either don’t know that, or they don’t know how to change and start making their ex woman feel attracted and in love again.
So, if a woman is being indifferent towards her ex guy, what you need to understand is that it’s usually because his approach since the break up has been turning her off.
For example: He’s been begging for another chance, pleading, crying, apologizing excessively, promising to change if she give him another chance or asking her to tell him what to change to make her happy.
It’s not because she is a bad person.
She just wants to feel attracted to the guy that she’s in a relationship with and if he can’t offer her that, she doesn’t have to stick with the relationship.
Hopefully you haven’t made the mistake of assuming your ex is a bad person and potentially even accusing her of it.
If you have, don’t worry about it.
It is a recoverable mistake as long as you change the way you interact with her from now on (i.e. start making her feel attracted).
So, rather than getting upset, feeling insecure, resorting to begging, pleading or asking her to tell you what to do to get her back, just focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you whenever you interact with her from now on.
How can you do that?
By behaving the opposite of the way you have been doing so far!
For example: Being very confident and emotionally strong around her, using humor to break her out of her indifference, being more masculine than her and being charismatic.
When your approach changes, her feelings change.
It’s a natural process that happens automatically, without you or her having to do anything else to make it happen.
When she starts feeling attracted to you again, she will naturally become more open to talking to you and seeing you in person.
As a result, she will stop being so indifferent towards you and start being nicer, warmer and more open.
Another mistake that guys make is…
2. Wanting her back even though he doesn’t understand how to attract her in the ways that she secretly needs from a man
Quite often, a guy will try to get his ex back after they break up by texting her, sending her long e-mails, calling her up on the phone or even showing up at places where he knows he can find her.
He’s not thinking about her reasons for breaking up with him and just wants to patch things up as quickly as possible before another guy gets her.
Yet, the guy’s needs and wants aren’t that important to a woman when she gets to the point where she breaks up with him.
Rather than think, “Oh wow! He must really still love me so much. Look at how quickly he’s trying to get me back. He’s texting me like crazy! It must mean that he is serious about changing! I believe him! I know that he can change!” she will think something like, “He just doesn’t get it. He just assumes that if he chases me and is persistent enough, I’m going to forget about my real reasons for breaking up with him and give him another chance. He doesn’t realize that I didn’t just decide to end the relationship on a whim. I simply couldn’t handle being with a man who doesn’t know how to make me feel the way I want to feel in a relationship anymore. If he wants me back, he’s going to have to do it by attracting me in the ways that I really want from a man, not by trying to force me into it with his overbearing persistence, sweet texts or empty promises.”
So, if you want your ex to stop being so cold and distant, you need to get clear about what she really wants from you.
Ask yourself, “What aspects of my thinking and behavior turned her off?”
For example:
- Did I stop being the confident guy that she first met and gradually became insecure and too emotionally sensitive around her?
- Did I put up with her bad behavior and allow her to dominate me emotionally, rather than being a dominant, loving man that she could look up to, respect and feel safe with?
- Did I stop being a masculine guy with her and instead fell into the habit of sometimes imitating her way of being (e.g. being overly emotional and sensitive about things like a woman, gossiping like a girl, being too cute, being afraid of things that men typically aren’t afraid of)?
- Did I stop reaching for my true potential in life and become needy, clingy and emotionally dependent on her?
Those are a few examples of what secretly turns a woman off.
Can you relate to any of them?
Don’t worry, most guys make mistakes like that in a relationship because we don’t ever get taught this stuff when growing up and are expected to either know it, or figure it out for ourselves.
I figured it all out a long time ago, so I am here to help you and explain how you can get her back and then enjoy an even better relationship with her than you had before.
Another common mistake that guys when in your situation is…
3. Asking her why she is being so indifferent and hoping that she will explain herself
When a woman is being indifferent towards her ex, it’s only natural that he might want her to explain why.
For example: He might ask, “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you ignoring me and being so indifferent? I don’t understand. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do to make you like me again and get this relationship back together? After all we’ve been through, how could you just change overnight and be so cold? I love you more than anything. I’ve never loved another woman as much as I love you. You mean everything to me. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Don’t you care?”
Saying things like that seems like the logical thing for a guy to do, right?
It seems logical, but it isn’t.
Why?
The logical thing to do is to re-attract her, so she then naturally stops being indifferent and wants the relationship to get back together.
The illogical thing to do is to begin desperately asking her why, or seeking pity as he asks why she is behaving so indifferently now.
Why?
It’s unattractive.
Women are attracted to men who believe in themselves no matter what a woman says or does.
Women are also attracted to men who understand how a woman’s attraction works and don’t need her to explain it.
Why?
Women are embarrassed to admit what they are attracted to in a guy.
It’s embarrassing for a woman to say, “Hey, I don’t want you to care that I’m being indifferent. Don’t follow my lead. Believe in yourself and show me that no matter what I say or do, you always remain confident and have high self-esteem. If you do, I will feel respect and attraction for you. Don’t look at me as being the more dominant one. You are the man. Remember that!”
Women don’t want to have to say that because most guys will get the wrong idea and start being very arrogant.
So, they just hope to find a guy who understands women and has the ability to be the man.
If you can be the man and believe in yourself without needing the encouragement of a woman, women will naturally find you attractive, appealing and sexy.
In terms of getting an ex back…
A woman wants her ex guy to figure out what he’s been doing wrong and then quickly make some adjustments and changes to his thinking, behavior and communication style to show her that he’s changed.
She doesn’t want to have to hold his hand and explain what he’s been doing wrong.
She doesn’t want to take on the role of his teacher or protector in life.
Instead, she just wants to relax into being his feminine, girly woman.
If she has to tell him how to be the man she needs, she will lose respect for him because he is simply following her instructions and may not really understand why it is important, or how to be the man in other ways or other areas of life.
So, don’t bother asking your ex why she’s being so indifferent towards you because she’s probably not going to tell you.
If you do ask her, you will most likely get answers like, “I don’t know…it’s just how I feel,” or, “Don’t ask me that.”
So, what should you do instead?
From now on, use every interaction you have with her as a chance to make her laugh, smile and feel good to be around you.
The happier she feels in your presence, the less she will be able to ignore you.
Think about it this way…
Would you be indifferent to a person who is making you laugh, smile and feel happy?
Most likely not, right?
In the same way, when your ex experiences only positive feelings around you from now on, no matter how much she tries to be indifferent towards you, her resistance will crumble and she will automatically begin feel drawn to you again.
Then, getting her back becomes easy, because she wants it too.
Of course, it’s not just about making her laugh, or making her laugh in a silly way.
What I’m talking about is being masculine and making her laugh like a feminine, girly woman.
Big difference.
If you’ve ever watched a masculine man interact with a feminine woman, you will know what I’m talking about.
Maybe you used to be like that with your ex girl too.
You need to get that back and if you do, sparks will begin to fly between you and her again.
What do you do from there? How do you complete the ex back process and get her back into a relationship?
Keep learning from me right now and you will find out.
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