It depends on the woman.
Here are 5 possible reactions that a female dumper will have to the No Contact Rule being used on her:
1. She won’t care because she’s not even attracted to her ex
In most cases, by the time a woman gets to the point where she dumps a guy, she has already disconnected with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, if he decides to use No Contact on her to make her miss him and want him back, rather than think, “Oh no! What have I done? I think I ruined my perfect relationship!” she usually thinks something like, “This turned out even better than I’d hoped for. I was worried that he would try to get me back and I would then have to be bitchy to get rid of him. However, he just walked away instead. I can now move on and find myself another guy, without the added stress of having to deal with a needy, clingy ex. I’m so relieved!”
She then focuses on getting on with her life without her ex and doing all the things she wants, like going out with her single friends to bars and clubs, hooking up and dating new men and starting a new relationship.
In the meantime her ex is usually just sitting around missing her and mentally counting the days off his calendar to when he might expect to hear from her (i.e. he’s waiting to see how long it will take for her to miss him and then contact him).
Yet, that call never happens, because she no longer has feelings for him, so she’s not missing him like he’s expecting her to.
In fact, she’s happy not to be hearing from him and having to deal with an emotionally sensitive ex.
If he then tries to initiate contact after a few weeks or even months, she will almost certainly reject him, ignore him or reply and tell him that she’s in love with someone else now.
He is then left feeling confused, dejected and wondering, “I thought using No Contact on an ex is the key to making her come running back. So why didn’t it work with me and my ex? What did I do wrong?”
The answer is pretty simple: When a woman disconnects from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, him ignoring her for a long period of time doesn’t create feelings of stress or panic in her.
Instead, it creates feelings of relief, calmness and even joy.
So, if you’re currently wondering, “How does the dumper feel about No Contact?” because you’re considering using it on your ex to make her miss you, the answer is: If you’re not 100% sure that your ex still has strong feelings for you, then she’s not really going to care at all.
This is why, if you want her back, you need to do what works and what works is interacting with her and actively re-sparking her feelings for you.
When your ex starts to feel sparks of respect and attraction for you again, she will naturally start to drop her guard and start wanting to be your girl again.
However, if you ignore her when she doesn’t care, you stand a much bigger chance of losing her to another man forever.
Another possible reaction that a woman might have to the No Contact Rule being used on her is…
2. She will contact her ex to find out if he’s still missing her
Sometimes, when a woman doesn’t hear from her ex for a long time after she dumped him, she might become curious about why he’s not calling her.
Event though she is the one who dumped him and is sure that she doesn’t want him back, her ego feels a bit bruised that he’s not chasing after her and trying to get her back.
As a result, she may then contact him to gauge how he’s really feeling about her.
If he then says something like, “I’m so glad you called. I’ve missed you,” she can then feel better about herself knowing that he is missing her.
From there, she may decide to cut him out of her life for real and move on, or string him along by slotting him into the “friendzone,”, with the knowledge that she still has control of his heart.
Another possible reaction that a woman might have to the No Contact Rule being used on her is…
3. She will be upset about not hearing from her ex, but she won’t contact him out of pride
In some cases, a woman will feel quite upset and annoyed that her ex is not contacting her after she dumps him.
In her mind she may be thinking things like, “I can’t believe he’s just letting me walk away like that without even trying to get me back. I would have thought that he would at least call me to apologize for stuffing up and try to make things right between us. Instead he’s completely vanished.”
Yet, even though she might feel upset and may want to reach out to her ex to see why he’s ignoring her, her pride simply won’t let her do it.
Instead, she will likely say to herself, “Well, if that’s how he wants to end things, then it’s fine with me. However, he’s mistaken if he thinks I’m going to chase after him. I won’t ever do that! If he wants me, he will have to be the one that makes the first move.”
Then, to make herself feel better, she might go out and hook up with a new guy, just to take her mind off being ignored by her ex.
Another possible reaction that a woman might have to the No Contact Rule being used on her is…
4. She will be upset about not hearing from her ex, but won’t contact him out of fear of being rejected
Sometimes, even though a woman breaks up with a guy, it doesn’t mean she’s completely over him.
Instead, she may still have some feelings for him and she might even be hoping that by dumping him, she can shock him into being more of the man she wants him to be.
So, if he then uses the No Contact Rule and ignores her for weeks or months, it’s only natural that she might begin to doubt his feelings for her.
She may ask herself, “Why isn’t he contacting me? I really thought he would do something to get me back, but he’s just ignoring me like I don’t matter to him at all! Is it possible that he’s already moved on and replaced me with another woman? Maybe I should phone him to find out. I really do want to know why he’s ignoring me, but I’m worried that he will reject me and tell me that he’s over me. Well, I guess I’m going to have to forget about him and try to move on instead.”
She then puts in a determined effort to fully get over him (often by quickly getting into a new relationship with a guy that has had a crush on her, or by hooking up with new guys until she finds a new relationship) and moving on.
Unfortunately, by the time her ex realizes that she’s not calling him and gets in touch with her after the full No Contact period, it’s usually way too late.
She then either refuses to answer his text/social media messages or calls, or if she does, she tells him something like, “Why are you calling me after all this time? Did you think I would wait around for you forever? Well I did wait, but when you didn’t call, I realized you don’t really care about me, so I decided to stop waiting around and moved on. I’m over you now, so please don’t call me again. What we had is dead.”
Another possible reaction that a woman might have to the No Contact Rule being used on her is…
5. She will feel rejected or hurt and then seek to heal that pain by hooking up with a new guy
What a lot of guys don’t realize is that a woman’s confidence is very fragile.
In fact, according to a global survey conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96% of women don’t consider themselves to be beautiful.
Added to that, women in the USA are reported to experience depression at twice the rate of men.
So, even though a guy’s ex might have appeared to be very confident and self-assured, if she’s like most women, she was probably quite insecure, anxious and prone to feelings of depression.
This is why, if the guy then decided to use No Contact on her to try and get her back, rather than her running back to him, she usually starts to feel hurt and rejected by him.
Then, to make herself feel better (i.e. prove to herself that she’s still ‘got it’ and is attractive enough to get another man), she goes out and actively hooks up with other men, until she finds one who she wants to have a relationship with.
By the time her ex gets in touch with her weeks or months later, she’s already moved on and possibly in love with another guy.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Using No Contact After Being Dumped
As you may have realized, using No Contact on an ex who has dumped you, rarely, if ever works out in your favor.
So, if you want to get your ex back, you need to use an approach that works, rather than doing things that don’t.
For example: 3 common mistakes that guys make are…
1. Thinking that women are all the same, so they will all fall for the No Contact trick
Every woman is different and will react differently to No Contact after a break up.
Only a very small percentage of women will come back to their ex because he uses No Contact.
In those cases, she will still have strong feelings for him and she will have secretly always wanted to get back with him anyway.
So, when he started ignoring her she started to panic about losing him and came back to him.
Yet, in almost every other case, a woman breaks up with a guy because she lost too much respect, attraction and love for him to want to stay with him.
As a result, she doesn’t see any reason to want to get back with him, unless he reactivates her feelings for him during interactions.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you need to do what works.
You need to interact with her every chance you can get and actively spark some of her feelings for you (e.g. by using humor to thaw her resistance towards you, by showing her that you’re a confident and emotionally secure man even when she’s being detached, unfeeling and offish towards you, by flirting with her to create some sexual tension).
When she begins to associate you with good feelings again (e.g. respect, attraction, love) rather than bad ones (e.g. anger, disappointment, stress), she will naturally stop pushing you away and open up to the idea of getting back together again.
Another common mistake that guys make is…
2. Sending out feeler texts after No Contact and giving up if she doesn’t seem very interested
After a few weeks or months of ignoring his ex, a guy might send her a text saying something like, “Hey, how have you been?” in the hope that she will respond with something along the lines of, “Oh my gosh, it’s you! I thought you’d forgotten me. I’ve missed you so much!”
They can then happily get back together and live happily ever after.
However, life is not a fairytale.
In the real world, a woman who has been ignored by her ex is probably not going to jump for joy the instant he gets in touch with her.
Instead, she will likely either ignore him right back, or she might simply respond to him in a cold, disinterested sort of way.
He may then take that as a sign that she’s not interested in him anymore, give up and walk away feeling like he’s lost something important.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Put yourself in your ex’s shoes.
How would you feel if she ignored you for a long time and then suddenly got in touch out of the blue?
Secretly you might be jumping for joy, but you probably wouldn’t show that to her.
Instead, you would likely be guarded, play it cool and wait to see what she does before you allow her to see that you still have feelings for her.
Well, a woman would do the same.
She will be cold and aloof and she will wait to see if you can re-spark her feelings for you and make her want you back.
So, don’t give up if your ex doesn’t seem interested the first time you contact her, because it’s almost 100% certain that she won’t show her feelings to you even if she is.
The important thing is that you call her on the phone and meet up with her in person, reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another common mistake that guys make is…
3. Not understanding that in most cases, it takes confidence and balls to get a woman back
Break ups by their very nature generate awkwardness and tension between a man and a woman.
Basically, getting in touch with an ex woman after you and her have just split up is going to feel somewhat uncomfortable.
After all, yesterday you were a couple and today you’re not.
So it’s only natural that you might feel a bit uncomfortable about calling her on the phone to say “Hi,” because it’s likely that she’s going to be closed off and unfriendly towards you.
This is why, a lot of guys would rather use No Contact and ignore their ex for a few weeks or even months, in the hope that when they do call, she will be less annoyed and even missing him, and then the ex back process will be easier.
Yet, it almost never works out that way.
Here’s the thing…
Chances are high, your ex will be offish towards you if you call her after the break up.
However, if you start sparking her feelings for you right away (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, being confident regardless of how she responds to you, flirting with her to make her feel sexually attracted), she won’t be able to stay closed off to you for very long.
Her resolve to leave you will naturally begin to slide and she will start to wonder if maybe she was too hasty in breaking up with you after all.
She then drops her guard and opens up to giving you another chance.
On the other hand, if you use No Contact, she will likely use the time to get over you and move on.
The truth is, there’s no need for unnecessary mind games like No Contact, which usually backfire anyway.
Instead, just have the confidence to interact with your ex right away (on the phone and in person), reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
That’s what really works.
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