Here are 4 tips on how to apologize to your ex girlfriend and get her back:
1. Tell her that you’re sorry, explain why you did it and let her know that you don’t expect her to take you back
For example: You might say something along the lines of, “I just want you to know that I truly regret hurting you. I know that doesn’t excuse my behavior and they way I treated you, but at the time I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was upset about how our relationship had degenerated and that we were no longer happy and in love like we used to be at the beginning of our relationship and as a result, I behaved in a very childish, immature and inappropriate way. For that I am genuinely sorry. I know that apologizing to you isn’t going to suddenly make what happened go away and I want to make it clear to you, I’m not saying this so that you can give me another chance. Instead, I just want to take responsibility for my actions and hopefully get you to forgive me, so that we can both move on.”
By apologizing to her in this way and also taking responsibility for your part in the break up, it allows her to calm down.
She stops focusing on how badly you hurt her feelings and starts to feel some respect for you again for being mature enough to admit your mistake.
When she begins to respect you, she no longer feels as closed off towards you, which in turn allows her to stop looking at you in such a negative way.
As a result, her defenses begin to come down and it then becomes possible for her to forgive you.
When that happens, it opens the door for you to be able to interact with her more often (e.g. via text, social media, over the phone and in person) and reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you so that you can get her back.
As you can see, with the right approach, anything becomes possible.
Another effective way to apologize to your ex girlfriend for hurting her feelings is…
2. Tell her that you’re sorry because she didn’t deserve to be treated like that, after all she did for you
For example: You can say something like, “Hey, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you. It was an extremely stupid thing for me to do and I really regret it, especially after everything you’ve done for me. You’ve only been a good person and treated me well and sadly, I didn’t do the same for you. I behaved like a jerk and I truly regret that. If I could turn back the clock and go back to that time, I would definitely behave 100% better, but unfortunately I can’t do that. However, what I can do, is be a better man from this point onwards towards you and that starts with this apology. Of course, I don’t expect you to forget the past. I just hope you will be able to judge me based on who I am now, rather than who I was then from now on. Then, maybe sometime in the future, you will be able to forgive me and we can at least be friends again.”
By calmly apologizing to your ex girlfriend in that way, while being confident and mature enough to admit your mistake, you’re showing her that you’re no longer the same guy who hurt her feelings.
You’ve learned from the experience and have already taken some positive steps to become a better, more emotionally mature man than before.
It also makes her feel appreciated and that everything she did for you wasn’t taken for granted, even though your behavior may have implied that to her at the time.
This automatically re-sparks some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you and she then allows herself to begin forgiving you for hurting her in the past.
She believes you that you really do regret how you behaved and have already begun to change and improve as a man, which makes it easier for her to truly forgive you.
The great thing about that, is that forgiveness makes a woman drop her guard and open back up to you, even if she didn’t want to or intend to.
She stops looking at you in a negative light and starts seeing the new, improved version of you.
That’s when you can quickly and easily reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and guide her back into a relationship.
Another effective way to apologize to your ex girlfriend for hurting her feelings is…
3. Apologize and then use humor to lighten the mood
For example: Imagine you’re on a call with your ex girlfriend.
You can say something along the lines of, “Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m truly sorry for hurting you the way I did. I know that right now, apologizing probably seems a bit lame to you and you may even be thinking something along the lines of, ‘An apology can’t wipe away the pain and make me feel better,’ but it really is the only thing I can do to prove to you that I regret my actions and behavior.”
By saying something like that to her, she will likely feel a bit better, even if it’s because she’s happy that you’re accepting responsibility for your actions.
She may then say something like, “Okay, I accept your apology, but don’t think I’m going to forgive you that easily” or, “Fine. Whatever.”
Regardless of her response, the next thing you need to do is use some humor to lighten the mood and make her relax her guard a little bit.
You can do that by saying in a joking tone of voice, something along the lines of, “Hey, I really am sorry. You have no idea how many times I’ve punched myself in the arm as punishment for hurting you. You probably wouldn’t recognize me anymore if you saw me… I’m black and blue with a little bit of green thrown in from all the bruises,” and have a laugh with her about that.
Essentially, just be strong enough to make a joke and not continue to beat yourself up about what happened before.
Humor is a very effective way to make a woman stop putting up walls around you.
When she is laughing and smiling, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to continue holding a grudge against you for hurting her feelings.
So, don’t be afraid to use humor to diffuse the tension between you and her and make her look forward to interacting with you again.
You can then use those interactions to re-spark her feelings for you and get her back.
Another effective way to apologize to your ex girlfriend for hurting her feelings is…
4. Apologize on a phone call, re-attract her and then suggest catching up as friends to say hi or to say goodbye in a nice way
For example: Start off the conversation with her by saying something along the lines of, “I know that nothing I say can fully make up for the pain I caused you, but nevertheless, I really am sorry for hurting your feelings. Regardless of why I did it, you definitely deserved better. So, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would truly appreciate it.”
Then, rather than going on and on about how you stuffed up, use humor to ease the tension between you and make her feel more relaxed to be talking to you again.
Keep the conversation light and easy going and then when she sounds like she’s relaxed her guard and is feeling drawn to you again, rather than feeling closed off and angry, get her to agree to a meet up.
For example: You might say something like, “Hey, I’m glad I got a chance to clear the air between us. Why don’t we take it one step further and catch up sometime this week to say hello as friends. Of course, it’s not about us getting back together. It’s just getting a quick cup of coffee to say hi, or if you really never want to see me again, to at least say goodbye and end things in a nice way, rather than how it happened before. We’re mature enough to do that, don’t you agree?”
If you’ve created enough feelings of respect and attraction inside of her during the phone call (i.e. by being confident, using humor), she will likely agree to meet up with you.
However, don’t give up if she doesn’t agree right away.
There are many reasons why she might not want to instantly say yes.
For example: She might…
- Not want to come across as being too easy.
- Be afraid of getting hurt again.
- Worry that you might try to pressure her into giving you another chance even though she doesn’t feel ready for that yet.
Whatever the case, just maintain your confidence and say something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s just a quick cup of coffee between two friends. No strings attached and I give you my word that if you decide that you never want to see me again after the meet up, I will respect your wishes and completely leave you alone and never contact you again. So, how about it? I’m free on Tuesday or Thursday. Which of those days suits you best?”
She will then probably agree and you can go ahead and make plans to meet at a time that’s convenient for you both.
Then, when you meet up with her, make sure you’re prepared to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again.
Don’t get there and act all insecure and unsure of yourself.
Also, don’t meet up with her and just have a nice, friendly chat.
You’ve got to be ready, willing and able to turn on the charm and make her feel so attracted to you again that she’s willing to forgive you right there and then for hurting her feelings and open up to seeing more of you from then on.
You can then build on her feelings, make her fall back in love with you and get her back into a relationship that’s even better than before.
What to Avoid When Apologizing to Your Ex Girlfriend if You Want Her Back
When you use the right approach, your path will automatically be smooth and getting your ex back will happen naturally and easily.
However, if you use the wrong approach, you will likely end up struggling more than you need to.
So, begin getting your ex girlfriend to forgive you for hurting her feelings by avoiding the following mistakes:
1. Writing a long apology letter
It’s only natural that if a guy’s ex is currently refusing to have anything to do with him and possibly saying things like, “I don’t want to talk to you,” or “Forget it. I’m not interested in your apologies,” he might be feeling stuck.
He may even be wondering something along the lines of, “If she won’t talk to me, how can I apologize to her for hurting her feelings? Additionally, how will I ever be able to get her to forgive me and possibly open back up to giving me one more chance?”
He might then come to the conclusion that the only way to get through to her is by writing her a long apology letter.
Yet, rather than make his ex contact him and say, “Hey, I got your letter. I see now that you really are sorry about what happened, so I forgive you. Everything is okay between us now and I’m even willing to see if we can work things out and get back together again,” she instead feels even more turned off by what she perceives as his lack of balls.
She then feels even more turned off by him for not having the courage to look her in the eye when he made his apology to her.
Additionally, because she can’t hear the tonality of his voice, or see his body language, she doesn’t know if he’s really being sincere or just saying what he thinks she wants to hear so she will give him another chance.
For this reason, rather than give him the benefit of the doubt (i.e. that he’s genuinely sorry for hurting her feelings), she usually just assumes that he’s faking it and is just trying to say whatever he can think of to get another chance with her.
As a result, she doesn’t even bother to respond or acknowledge his letter, thereby leaving him feeling unsure of whether she even read it, or what he can do next to get her attention.
This is why, if you want your ex to believe that you’re sorry for hurting her feelings and open back up to giving you another chance, you need to apologize to her face-to-face, or at least on a phone call.
In that way, not only will she be able to see and hear the sincerity in your voice and body language and feel more motivated to forgive you, it will also be easier for you to spark her feelings of respect and attraction.
When that happens, getting her back becomes easier, because she’s open to the idea, rather than putting up walls and avoiding you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Apologizing via text and expecting her to be able to sense your sincerity
In today’s modern world, the majority of communication between people is done digitally.
In fact, according to Portio Research, 23 billion text messages are sent daily around the world, or almost 16 million per minute.
So, it’s only natural that a guy might feel as though it’s okay to apologize to his girlfriend for hurting her feelings via text message too.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Although texting is a perfectly acceptable and normal way of communicating with friends and loved ones, when it comes to apologizing for doing something wrong, it’s not really the best approach.
Here’s why…
When sending a text to a friend or loved one, their perception of you is a positive one, so whatever you say is almost guaranteed to be taken in a positive way.
On the other hand, a text to an ex woman who currently harbors negative feelings towards you, is almost certainly going to be misunderstood and judged in cynical way.
So, rather than give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your apology is genuine and sincere, she’s likely going to think you’re just saying what you need to say for her to let you off the hook (i.e. forgive you).
In fact, in her mind, rather than picture a man who genuinely regrets hurting her feelings, she’s likely imagining you laughing and snickering at her and thinking things like, “I bet she’s going to fall for my apology and forgive me. Haha! What a gullible little fool.”
Of course that’s not the truth at all, but because you hurt her before and she doesn’t have any evidence to prove that you really have changed, she’s usually just going to assume the worst of you.
This is why, if you intend to apologize to your ex girlfriend, make sure you do it over the phone or in person.
Yes, she’s probably not going to make it easy for you (e.g. she may refuse to answer your call or to meet up with you), but you need to man up and figure out how to pass that test of your confidence and resolve.
When you do and you then sincerely apologize to her, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect for you for being man enough to come clean to her and take responsibility for your actions.
When she respects you, she will also begin to feel attracted to you again and then opening back up to you doesn’t seem so far fetched to her anymore.
You can then use interactions with her to fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Wanting her back, apologizing via text, not hearing from her and then giving up on getting her back
Sometimes a guy will go ahead and send his ex a big apology via text.
He will then wait and wait for her to hopefully respond with something like, “Okay, I forgive you,” thereby giving him the opening he wants to try and get her back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
There are a number of reasons why a woman won’t respond to an apology text from an ex guy.
For example: Some of those reasons might be…
- She doesn’t want to forgive him right away and wants him to suffer a bit more before she accepts his apology.
- She doesn’t want to make it easy for him to get her back, so she plays a bit hard to get to see how he responds.
- She wants to see if he will remain confident enough to keep trying to get her to forgive him.
- She wants him to call her instead of texting.
So, if you decide to apologize to your ex girlfriend via text and she doesn’t respond, don’t just give up.
Instead, get her on a phone call where she can hear the sincerity in your voice and gauge from the way you interact with her that you really have leveled up as a man.
You can also make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
When that happens, her defenses naturally come down and she opens back up to meeting up with you in person to see where things go from there.
However, if you give up at the first sign of resistance from her, you may lose out on the opportunity of getting her back and end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Feeling unworthy of getting her back because of how much you hurt her feelings
When a guy blames himself for hurting his ex girlfriend’s feelings, he might fall into the trap of putting himself down compared to her.
He may then begin thinking things like, “I can’t believe how I treated her. She was nothing but amazing and I was a jerk compared to her. Even if she wanted me back now, which I’m sure she doesn’t, the truth is, I don’t deserve a woman like her. She’s just too good for me.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that feeling unworthy of his ex girlfriend’s love, respect and attraction only makes him seem less attractive to her (and to other women as well).
Why?
A woman likes the idea of being in a relationship with a guy who is always confident and believes in himself and his value as a man, regardless of what happens (even if he’s behaved badly and ruined her feelings for him).
The more emotionally strong he is, the more she is able to respect him, feel attracted to him and love him.
So, when a guy is putting himself down and feeling unworthy of her love, rather than make her feel happy that he’s getting what he deserves for hurting her feelings (i.e. suffering), she instead feels turned off by his lack of confidence.
As a result, she feels even more convinced that breaking up with him was the right decision for her.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Everyone makes mistakes, even her.
So, even though you stuffed up, that doesn’t make you a bad person and it doesn’t make you unworthy of her love and respect.
As long as you’ve leveled up as a man now, then the past is the past and there’s no reason for it to ruin the present.
So, forget what happened and focus on what you can do right now to reactivate your ex girlfriend’s feelings for you and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
5. Not realizing that reunited love feels amazing for the woman, especially when the guy hurt her feelings
What a lot of guys don’t know is that getting a woman back after a break up is an exciting, rewarding process for her (and for him too).
This is especially true if he’s hurt her feelings, because then the idea of having a better, more loving and caring relationship with him instinctively appeals to her.
Why?
A woman’s natural instinct is to try to stick in a relationship with one guy for life.
This has a lot to do with her primal breeding instincts.
So, even if she doesn’t have children, or doesn’t even want to have children, her instincts still encourage her to find and keep a good man, who will stick with her and protect, provide and support her if they decide to have children sometime in the future.
This is one of the biggest reasons why a lot of women will take a long time to decide to break up with a guy, even if they’re not 100% happy in the relationship with him.
Her instincts tell her that it’s necessary for her to make it work.
So if you can honestly level up as a man and then let your ex experience the new you, her instincts will naturally kick in again and she will likely begin thinking things like, “He’s really not the same guy who hurt my feelings anymore. That means, if I give him another chance, the possibility that our relationship will be even better than before and last for a lifetime is so much higher. Additionally, even though he stuffed up, he’s still a good guy deep down. I think I should give him another chance. I think this time we could make it work.”
Then, when you also spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you again and then build on that, all her walls come down and she literally wants to be back in your arms again.
Being held by you feels good.
It feels right.
Her heart fills up with new, exciting emotions and she feels compelled to give you another chance, because the thought of losing you for real feels stressful and wrong.
You then simply need to guide her through the final steps of the ex back process, until she’s back in your arms and feeling happier than she ever did before.
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