Sometimes a guy will find himself in a situation where all of his friends have settled down (i.e. they’ve got a girlfriend or a wife), or he just doesn’t have friends to go out and meet women with.
So, what is he going to do?
How can he get himself a girlfriend?
That’s what I’m going to teach you in this video.
The three main points of this video are:
- Prepare yourself to create a sexual spark with the women that you’re about to meet.
- Go to places where you can make friends, meet women and get a girlfriend all at the same time, or;
- Go to places where you can meet women and get a girlfriend without having to make new friends.
Additionally, I’m also going to give you some bonus tips somewhere in this video.
The first bonus tip is how I made a whole bunch of female friends and got some of them competing with each other to hook up with me, or be my girlfriend.
Some of these women are still my female friends to this day, even though I have settled down and am in a committed relationship.
The other bonus tip is the secret to overcoming your potential initial resistance to meeting new women, if you haven’t done it for a while, or if you’re just not used to meeting and talking to women that you don’t know.
So, let’s start with the first point in the video.
1. Prepare yourself to create a sexual spark with the women that you’re about to meet
Where a lot of guys get stuck when they don’t have friends to go out and meet women with, is that they eventually get to the point where they’re like, “Alright, I’m going to go out and try to meet women.”
He might go to a shopping mall and hope that he’s going to have the confidence just to talk to a woman, but he goes there and he doesn’t really know what to say.
He doesn’t really know how to make her feel attracted as soon as he starts talking to her, so he doesn’t do it.
He walks around the shopping mall and he’s in his normal mode of being which is to be inward.
He’s just keeping to himself, like pretty much everyone else at the shopping mall.
He doesn’t know how to break out of that and just talk to a woman that he finds attractive.
Alternatively, he may talk to a pretty waitress and find her attractive and want to get something going between him and her, but he just has a friendly conversation with her.
She comes over, takes his order, he’s asking her if she’s having a nice day or whatever and he orders his food, she gives it to him and he says thanks and she walks away.
He didn’t do anything to create a sexual spark inside of her.
He didn’t do anything to differentiate himself from all the other customers that she will have met that day or that week.
He’s just being a standard customer having a transactional interaction with her, when what he needs to do is to create a sexual spark with her by flirting with her, or by displaying personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women.
So, imagine an example of a guy who goes to a salsa dancing class.
He’s going to be dancing with different women all night, so it’s going to be physical contact, the women are going to be right there in his face and he’s got an opportunity to attract them.
Yet, he doesn’t really know how to attract women when he interacts with them.
So, when he’s paired up with his female dancing partners, he ends up displaying traits that aren’t attractive to women, such as being a little bit too tense and nervous when dancing with the woman, or instantly falling for her and wanting to have her as his girlfriend and as a result, being too intense by constantly making eye contact with her, holding it and waiting for her to look him in the eyes to hopefully show him that she likes him too.
However, she doesn’t want to seem too easy and hasn’t even got to know him yet, so she avoids that kind of eye contact.
On the other hand, a guy might be afraid to make any eye contact because he’s nervous when it comes to looking women in the eyes, or he’s worried about coming on too strong.
Alternatively, a guy might be afraid to get close with her physically because he worries that she might think he’s enjoying touching her and he’s getting a kick out of it.
So, he keeps his distance, even though other dancers are very close physically, they’re touching each other and it’s not a problem at all.
Now, the thing is he could display traits that attract her, but he either doesn’t know how to attract her, or he forgets the fact that women want to experience a guy’s confidence.
They want to experience a guy’s masculine presence.
That makes a woman feel attracted.
The guy either doesn’t know that, or he forgets that and he ends up displaying nervousness, fear, anxiety and so on which doesn’t turn a woman on.
So, he’s paired up with his first female dance partner and he says (in a very nervous way), “Oh, I’ve never done this before. I’m actually quite nervous. What do I do? Okay, yep, oh, there we go yeah.”
That’s a bit of an over-exaggeration, but hopefully, you get the point.
Now, imagine he interacted with that woman in a different way.
He says, in a confident, easy-going way, “Hey, how are you doing? Well, this is the first time I’ve ever done this. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve been told I’ve got two left feet. How about you? Are you a good dancer? Oh, great, well, I’ll learn from you then. Come on, let’s do this.”
If a guy speaks to a girl in that way, she’s going to see him as a confident, charming guy and she’s going to be rooting for him.
She’s going to want him to do well.
He isn’t going in there acting like he knows everything, being Mr. Perfect and he isn’t going in there being Mr. Nervous.
Instead, he’s there to have some fun and she’s feeling good interacting with him, so she wants to see him do well.
On the other hand, imagine the nervous guy.
He’s interacting with different women throughout the night and he’s being awkward.
He’s apologizing for his mistakes all the time.
He’s being awkward about it.
He’s dancing with the girls and saying (in a nervous, awkward way) things like, “Oh, sorry, yeah, I still don’t know what I’m doing. Oh, I just stepped on your toe, sorry, about that.”
Again, a bit of an over-exaggeration, but to hopefully make you get the point.
Now, imagine the confident guy who’s being easygoing.
“Well, isn’t this fun? About 20 minutes ago, I had no idea what I was doing, but I’m getting the hang of it, this is cool. Come here, do a twirl.”
He’s there being confident, having some fun, showing some masculine direction and being a bit charming towards girls.
For example: If he’s dancing with a girl and wants to make her feel a bit charmed, he can say something like this (in a confident, easy-going, playful way), “Wow, you’re a really good dancer. You’ve got really good rhythm. I can’t say the same for myself though, I’m all over the place.”
She will then almost certainly say, “No, no you’re doing great,” and so forth.
He can then say something like this to her, “Oh, you’re too nice, you’re too nice” in a way where he is accepting the compliment and being a charming guy.
By the way, if you’ve seen some of my other videos, you’ll know that I often give examples of using playfully challenging humor to attract women (i.e. being a challenging guy).
Yet, in this case, I’m giving an example of being confident, charming, humble and even a bit gentlemanly (i.e. overall, being a charming type of guy).
The reason why, is that each situation that you meet women in, requires you to slightly adjust your approach to successfully create a spark, connect with the woman and have her wanting to take things too the next level with you, such as giving you her phone number, going out in a date with you, kissing you, having sex with you and starting a relationship with you.
In terms of a salsa dancing environment, for example, you can use playfully challenging humor, but it’s best to tone that down initially and focus on being more charming so the woman relaxes, opens up and feels confident when dancing with you.
This is where a lot of guys get stuck when it comes to attracting and picking up women.
There will occasionally be opportunities in front of him, but he won’t know what to say or do, so he will either avoid interacting with the women, or he’ll just have a friendly, neutral interaction and then go on about his day.
So, if you want to be able to get yourself a girlfriend as you go through your everyday life and meet random women, or if you want to meet women in social environments, then make sure that you know what approach to use in that environment to be successful so you can get the result right away.
2. Go to places where you can make friends, meet women and get a girlfriend all at the same time
For example: If you join a mixed sports team like indoor soccer, or volleyball that men and women play together.
Alternatively, you might want to go to an adult learning class once a week at night (e.g. bread making class).
There are so many different topics and categories of interests that you can learn from, where both men and women are going to be there and you can end up making friends together.
If you want to find what’s available in your area just search your town or city name plus the words ‘night course or adult learning (e.g. Los Angeles adult learning, London night courses, Montreal adult learning classes) and you will find what is available in your area.
Some examples of courses that may be available include:
- Bread baking.
- Beer-making.
- Improv.
- Photography.
- Clay and sculpture making.
- Painting.
- Property investing.
- Massage classes.
- Salsa dancing.
- Pizza making.
- Yoga.
Alternatively, you might want to join in on a bus tour to tourist attractions in your state or neighboring state.
So, it may be a day trip to a winery, to waterfalls whatever it maybe whatever is available in your state or neighboring states.
That might sound like a bit of a weird one, but when you’re on a bus with a bunch of people and you’re all going to the same places together, you tend to start talking.
So, you can end up making friends with someone who’s sitting next to you, or if you’re getting off at certain stops and you’re all talking and so forth, you can end up getting to know some people, making friends and potentially getting yourself a girlfriend.
Alternatively, you might want to attend some meetup groups in your area.
Now, the website for that is meetup.com and they’re not a sponsor of this video.
I don’t allow any sponsorship or anything like that on my videos.
It’s just to help you.
It’s one of the biggest sites in the world, you go there and it shows you what sort of meetup groups are available in your area.
One thing about meetup groups, is that pretty much everyone attends on their own, so you’re not the odd one out going to a meetup group on your own.
Pretty much everyone attends meetup groups on their own and gets to know the people there.
BTW: One of the bonus tips I promised you is about female friends.
What I did (back when I made one new friend who was willing to go out with me and approach women), is that I gradually figured out how to attract and pick up women in person (at bars, clubs, shopping malls, cafes and so on).
So, I was kissing and having sex with new women all the time.
Yet, my friend and I would occasionally meet women who felt really attracted to us and really liked us, but we weren’t sure if we wanted to date them.
That’s when we started turning women like that into female friends, rather than dating them all.
So, we’d get their phone numbers on Friday and Saturday nights and on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, we’d say, “Alright, time to make some phone calls.”
I’d start calling girls and my friend would start calling girls.
We’d create a spark with them on the phone, we’d connect a little bit more and we’d invite them out to come and party with us on Friday night.
If we had a reason for the party, such as it was my birthday or my friend’s birthday, then that was pretty obvious, but we also went for the start of summer party, the end of winter party, the start of winter party and so on.
Whatever it may be, we would refer to it as a label, but if there was no label, we would just say, “Come out and party with us on Friday night. We’re going to be at this bar, it’s going to be a fun night. You guys should come along. Let’s party, we’ll see you there.”
Now, not every girl came, but when you have loads of numbers from girls that you’ve been meeting and you’re inviting them all out and some of them come, then you’ve got six, seven, eight girls arriving to hang out with you on a Friday or Saturday night.
What happens then, is that they see that other girls are interested in you.
It becomes like a competition.
They see that these girls are your female friends.
They like you.
They can sense that the girl feels attracted to you as well.
So, it becomes this competitive environment where the girls are trying to make you like them the most.
I remember on my 30th birthday, I’m 42 now, but I remember on my 30th birthday, back when I was still living the single life, I invited so many people and there was just women everywhere.
The place was packed and I was looking around just thinking, “Look at this. I came from nothing, having no women, no female friends, being scared to approach women and I’ve got all these women jam-packed at my party. I’ve got all these new friends.”
It was a good time.
Of course, now, I’ve settled down and I’m with my perfect girl, but if you are single and you want to get yourself a girlfriend, then you can use that female friend technique where you get their numbers and you’re not trying to set up dates with them.
Instead, you get them out to party with you.
Partying with you doesn’t need to be anything amazing, other than just going to a cool bar or a cool lounge bar, a cool club, whatever it may be, hanging out and having a great time.
By the way, what happens as a result of you inviting them out and then feeling attracted to you, enjoying hanging around you and so on is that they start inviting you to things.
So, you get invited to parties at bars, to house parties.
You get invited out to lunch on Sunday and so forth.
These women are interested in hanging around you.
So, if you meet women and create a spark of sexual attraction inside of them and as a result, they like you, but you’re not quite sure if you want to date them, then turn them into a female friend for now.
Invite them out if you’re going out to a party, or if you’d been invited to a party and you can bring friends (i.e. you can invite girls) and before you know it, what you’ll find is that you’ll have a bunch of female friends who are attracted to you and are secretly competing to try to become your girlfriend.
At that point, it’s very easy to hook up with them.
You just allow them to be with you.
It’s very easy.
Okay, so now if you don’t want to make new friends and you just want to get yourself a girlfriend, number 3…
3. Go to places where you can meet women and get a girlfriend without having to make new friends
This approach is essentially about making the most of the opportunities that you have throughout your everyday life, without having to go out and meet women in bars and clubs and so forth, but you still have to be ready to talk to women.
You have to be prepared to create a spark.
Some examples: A waitress at a cafe, diner or restaurant, receptionists, women at the gym, women at the bookstore, women on public transport.
Now, that (women on public transport) might seem like a bit of an awkward one and it is.
It’s awkward to talk to people on public transport.
Pretty much everyone is in their head.
Everyone keeps to themselves.
There’s often some weirdos on public transport and people don’t really want to interact with anyone, but when you sit next to a girl and you start talking to her and she sees that you’re a cool easy-going guy and you make her laugh a little bit, you and her enter a private world.
It’s about you and her.
You’re having a conversation, you get along and it stops feeling awkward.
So, for guys who are on planes, trains, or buses, you can talk to some women in those environments and get yourself a girlfriend.
It’s not the number 1 place that you want to go around approaching women, but if you find yourself sitting next to a pretty girl, will you know what to say?
Will you know how to create a spark with her?
Will you have the confidence to do it?
Will you be prepared to make the most of the opportunity that you have?
Another place that you can meet women and get a girlfriend without having to go with friends is at traditional or cultural events in your town or city.
Next one, at a shopping mall so women walking around shopping alone or with friends.
Another one at the shopping mall (women shopping), or women working in stores.
You can get a girlfriend in each of those situations without having to make new friends.
You just need to know what to say and do in each particular situation to attract her, connect with her and get her number.
By the way, if you’re not aware, I have an eBook, The Flow, which is also available on audio (The Flow on Audio).
The Flow teaches you what to say and do to start conversations, make women feel instantly attracted to you, make women feel increasingly attracted to you the more they talk to you, make women want to contribute to the conversation and get to know you.
The Flow also gives you my best, tested, proven-to-work examples of how to initiate physical touch in a way that a woman wants and welcomes, how to get her phone number, how to initiate a kiss, how to get her on a date and how to initiate sex.
Additionally, if you want to learn extra examples for meeting women in all sorts of environments, then you may also be interested in The Flow Booster Pack.
The Flow Booster Pack includes 21 Great Ways To Get A Girlfriend, which is on audio and presented by myself, Ben and Stu who are the other coaches at The Modern Man.
Throughout the 7 hours of audio, we explain how we’ve gotten a girlfriend in 21 different situations such as a waitress at a cafe, diner, or restaurant, a receptionist, a woman at the gym, a woman at the bookstore, a woman on public transport, women at traditional or cultural events that are open to the public, a woman shopping at a shopping mall, a woman working at a shopping mall and so on.
21 Great Ways To Get A Girlfriend is a booster program.
It’s an optional program that some guys get to boost the results that they’re already getting from The Flow.
So, to summarize and make everything 100% clear about my programs, The Flow is my proven, simple, easy-to-use, step-by-step system for approaching, attracting and picking up women that you find attractive.
If you want to get additional examples of what to say and do in many different environments, then you may also be interested in The Flow Booster Pack.
Okay, so the other bonus tip is about getting over any resistance that you may have to meeting women, if you haven’t done it for a while, or if you think that you may be nervous or lack confidence when you go out to meet women.
One of the best ways to explain it is that it’s sort of like if you haven’t exercised for a while.
If you haven’t exercised for a while, you will feel a bit tired, a bit lethargic and you will probably feel like you can’t be bothered going and doing some exercising, but if you go and do it, you feel recharged, revitalized.
You feel energized.
The same thing applies to going out there and meeting women.
Initially, you might feel like, “I can’t be bothered talking to some girls. What if I go out there and I get bad reactions? What if I don’t know what to say? What if this and that. I’ll just stay at home and watch TV. I’ll just play video games. I’ll just play with my phone” and so forth.
Yet, when you are in front of a pretty woman that is smiling and talking to you, you feel energized.
You feel revitalized.
You wake up.
You’re standing in front of a pretty woman who is looking at you smiling, interacting with you and you have a chance to pick her up.
That wakes you up.
When you know what to say and do to pick her up and you get the result, then you feel amazing.
You can then say goodbye to that lonely single life, or to feeling left out when you’re in social situations where you see couples and they’re together and you’re the single guy.
You want to have a girlfriend, but you can’t seem to find one, even though you do see some women every now and again throughout your everyday life that you find attractive, but are you talking to them?
The girl that you see at a cafe, the pretty woman working in a clothing store; are you willing to walk over and talk to any of those women?
If not, the next time you’re interacting with a female barista or a woman working in a clothing store, are you going to be ready to make her feel a spark of attraction for you?
Are you going to be ready to do that?
If you prepare yourself to do it and then you do it, you will see that you’re able to make women feel sparks of attraction for you and you can then follow through and get yourself a girlfriend.
So, what path are you going to go down to get yourself a girlfriend?
Are you going to get out there meet some new friends and get a girlfriend at the same time?
Or are you going to make the most of everyday situations where you see women that you find attractive and you’re going to talk to those women, make them feel attracted to you, get some phone numbers and get yourself a girlfriend?
Commit to taking some action to getting this area of your life moving forward, to getting this area of your life sorted.
Write it down in a note on your phone, or record a voice recording of yourself on your phone saying what you are going to do.
Say what you’re going to do below, then follow through on it.
Before you know it, you will have achieved it.
You will have gotten yourself a pretty girlfriend who loves you, feels attracted to you and wants to be with you.
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