If you want to get your ex to chase you and initiate the reconciliation, here are 5 tips to help you make that happen ASAP:
1. Fix the Things That She Really Dumped You For
Sometimes in a relationship, a guy might get into the habit of behaving in ways that are unattractive to his woman (e.g. he becomes too wimpy or weak-minded, stops making her feel appreciated, becomes too annoying), which then causes her to lose respect and attraction for him over time and eventually leads to her breaking up with him.
So, if he then wants to get his ex to chase him and initiate a reconciliation, he needs to make sure that when he interacts with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person), he shows her (via his actions, thinking and behavior) that he really has fixed the things that she dumped him for in the first place.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he became too wimpy and weak-minded and was always whining to her (about life, her, problems, work, responsibilities, the government), he needs to show her that he’s now emotionally strong and mature enough to stand on his own two feet like a real man.
He doesn’t sulk or complain about life and instead, takes responsibility for his own fate by learning, improving and becoming a better man as he continues through life.
He is now someone that she can be proud to call her boyfriend (or husband) because he’s not a complainer, a whiner or a wimp.
He’s a real man now.
Another example is if a woman broke up with a guy because he put too much stock in what his friends or family had to say about how he lived his life, so she eventually grew tired of him not being man enough to make his own decisions.
To show her that he’s changed, he needs to let her see that he has become more emotionally independent now (e.g. he’s moved out from the family home, is pursuing a lifelong dream that his family doesn’t approve of, has disconnected from some of his negative friends and has made some new, more positive and supportive friends).
Every relationship is different, so you need to stop for a moment and have a think about your ex’s real reasons for breaking up with you.
From there, you need to make some adjustments to your way of thinking and behavior, so she will be able to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction the next time she interacts with you.
When you do interact with her in person, she will be able to see that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with and she will then experience new feelings for you.
She will look at you as being a new, improved guy who makes her feel differently.
As she looks at you in that way, she drops her guard and starts thinking something like, “He’s so different now. I really like the new him. I think I made a mistake in breaking up with him and not wanting him back again. I wonder if he would take me back if I asked him for a reconciliation? Maybe I should give this a try. I’m feeling good now, so why not?”
When her guard is down like that, it’s then so easy to hug her, kiss her, hook up with her sexually and get the relationship back together.
She may initiate the reconciliation by asking for it, or by moving in for a hug or kiss, but you shouldn’t expect that from every woman.
Every woman is different.
Some women don’t want to make the first move because they fear you might reject them.
Other women don’t want to make the first move because they want to see if you now have the confidence to do it.
So, you can’t rely on just waiting for her to chase you in each and every moment.
Sometimes, you have to put your balls on the line and make a move.
You need to adapt to your unique situation and do what is required to get her back, before you lose her forever.
On that note…
One of the biggest mistakes a guy can make is not doing anything to improve himself after a break up.
He just sits around hoping his ex will chase him and initiate the reconciliation, but he never gets to the point where he fully understands what she wanted him to change about himself (e.g. because he believes everything that went wrong in the relationship was her fault, he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t want to change and just expects her to accept him as he is).
Yet, it doesn’t work that way.
For a woman to want to get back with a man, she wants to see that he’s at a different level than before.
If she sees him in person and discovers that nothing about him has really changed and his behavior doesn’t make her feel differently, then she’s not going to feel very motivated to get back together with him.
Instead, she may think something like, “If I had any doubts about breaking up with him before, I’m sure about it now and know that I made the right decision to leave him. He’s waiting for me to come running back to him, even though he’s still turning me off in the same, subtle ways that drove us apart in the first place. I guess he’s not mature enough as a man to figure it out on his own. I’m definitely better off without him. I’ve got to find myself a guy who is already a man.”
She then focuses her energy on getting over her ex, moving on and meeting another guy who can make her feel the way she really wants to feel when in a relationship (i.e. feminine, girly, respectful of her man, sexually attracted, happy, in love).
So, don’t let that happen to you.
It’s actually easy to make a woman feel feminine and girly around you, feel sexually attracted, happy and in love with you.
That is so damn easy.
In fact, it takes less work than most guys realize because it’s mostly about you taking back the position of power and letting her be your girl.
When you make her ex feel the way she really wants to feel around a guy, she will naturally begin to chase you a little and either initiate the reconciliation or hint at wanting one.
On to tip #2…
2. Reactivate Her Feelings in Person or On a Phone Call, But Don’t Try to Get Her Back
This is very important if you want her to chase you and try to get you back because she feels attracted to you and wants you again, but notices that you’re not even trying to get her to commit to a relationship of any kind.
She then feels compelled to either tell you that she wants a relationship again, or she hints at it and hopes that you make the moves to get you and her back together.
However, please note…
The best way to properly reactivate a woman’s feelings for you is on a phone call or in person.
You can’t properly re-attract an ex’s feelings via text if she is turned off by you, doesn’t know that you’ve changed and isn’t interested in getting back with you at this point.
For example: If you just send her random texts (e.g. “I just wanted to say hi” or “Hey, how things?”), or click like on her social media posts to let her know that you are still around, it’s not going to work for most situations.
If you want your ex to have a reason to feel motivated to chase you and initiate a reconciliation, you’ve got to reactivate her feelings on a phone call or in person, so she can see for herself that not only have you changed, but she now feels differently when she interacts with you.
She feels sparks of respect, attraction and love for who you are now, which makes her feel motivated to want to make something happen between you and her.
This is why it’s so important to interact with her on a phone call or in person, rather than sending her random texts, clicking like on her social media posts or worse, simply ignoring her and hoping that she comes back on her own.
So many guys lose their ex girlfriend (or wife) by waiting around and hoping that she will call him up one day and say, “I must have been crazy to break up with you. Can you ever forgive me? I want you back! Please give me another chance with you.”
Unfortunately, many guys wait for weeks, months and in some cases, YEARS, before they decide that she’s not coming back and they’ve lost her.
This is why I’ve never recommended (and never will) simply ignoring your ex woman after the break up, in the hope that she comes back.
It’s true that some women do come back if they are ignored after a break up, but it only happens if a woman is still in love with her ex and already regrets breaking up with him.
In almost all other instances, if a woman has disconnected with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy and then broken up with him, she’s not going to be very impressed by his actions.
She will aim to hook up with a new guy as quickly as she can, to avoid feeling the pain of being ignored, or because she wants to get revenge on her ex for not even trying to get her back after the break up and simply ignoring her and hoping that she does all the work.
Of course, when a guy tries to get his ex back after a break up, he needs to be CALM and CONFIDENT about it.
So many guys lose their ex girlfriend (or wife) by desperately chasing her after a break up.
That doesn’t work.
You have to quickly regain control of your emotions after a break up and then calmly and confidently get her back like a real man.
If you try to hide behind texts or by showing interest from a distance (e.g. clicking like on her social media posts), your ex will most likely be unimpressed and uninspired to chase you and get you back.
Instead, she may just roll her eyeballs and think something like, “Why does he even bother texting me if he’s not going to get me back? He’s just wasting my time and his. I’m not going to be his friend via text” and she then stops replying to his texts.
Alternatively, she may think, “Why does he keep clicking “like” on my posts? Does he think I will be impressed? Does he think that I’ll message him and ask for him to give us another chance? Is he trying to stay on my mind, so I can’t move on? Well, I’ll show him. I’ll hook up with a new guy and post up photos of me and him on dates…then, we’ll see if he clicks like on that.”
If you want your ex back, I recommend that you approach it like a real man, rather than hiding behind texts or cutting off contact and hoping that she makes all the moves.
She might be a little resistant initially, but if you can maintain your confidence and also attract her with your masculine approach, her guard will come down and she will feel attracted.
You’ve just got to be prepared to take a risk and make it happen.
You can’t wait around for her to make things super easy for you by chasing you and begging you for another chance, even though she has little to no feelings for you right now.
You’ve got to MAKE HER have feelings for you again.
The best, easiest and quickest way to do that is to interact with her (over the phone and in person) and reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
When you do that, her thought processes change and she opens back up to being with you.
You have to be active about getting her back, even if you are hoping to make her take all the risk to chase you and initiate the reconciliation.
To make her want you back, you’ve got to make her feel so much respect and sexual attraction for the new you (on a phone call and in person), that she can’t stop herself from wanting you again.
How else can you make her want you?
3. Let Her See That You’re Living a Fun Life Without Her Via Your Social Media Account
If you’re worried about contacting your ex, this is a great way to help make sure her guard is down and she is open to you again when you contact her.
Let her see that you’re living a fun life without her by posting up photos of you having fun with other people, looking confident and seeming totally happy and fine without her.
Some guys are worried about doing that because they assume it will make her angry and want to get revenge by doing the same.
Yet, that’s not how a woman’s attraction for a man works.
Women are attracted to confident men who are loved or liked by others and who don’t need her approval or encouragement to feel good about themselves.
When your ex sees that you’ve been enjoying life without her, it is absolutely guaranteed that she will feel some respect and attraction for the new you.
However, be warned…
She may ACT like she is annoyed by it, not impressed by it or even turned off by it.
Why?
Women do that to test a guy’s confidence.
Will he suddenly lose confidence in himself because she isn’t encouraging him to be happy and live his life?
Will he apologize for making her feel that way (i.e. the pretend anger, disappointed or disgust she is feeling), when she actually feels respect and attraction for him based on how confident and happy she seems without him?
Will he suddenly tell her that he’s been sad, missing her and that he wasn’t really happy in those photos?
Will he submit to her fake protests, even though she wants him to be a confident, dominant, free thinking man?
Women are always looking to see how men react to their tests.
The men that women respect, feel attracted to and love the most are those who do not fall for the tests that women put them through, but who also still treat a woman well and with respect.
It’s not about being arrogant, trying to hurt her or being rude to her.
That’s not what women respect or love.
Instead, it’s about standing on your own two feet and not needing her approval or encouragement to continue standing and feeling confident and happy about yourself and your life.
So many guys get this wrong when trying to get an ex woman back.
For example: Sometimes a guy might start posting photo’s of himself looking sad and lonely on his social media pages.
He might say to himself, “When she sees how miserable I really am without her and that my life has come to a standstill since we broke up, she will realize just how deep my love for her really was. Then she’ll regret breaking up with me and she will come running back. She will see that I care more about her than anything else and that I need her to be happy. She will realize that no other guy would love her like I do. She will know that I am completely dependent on her for my happiness and that will make her feel special.”
Yet, that’s just not how a woman’s attraction works.
A woman feels attracted to a man who is happy, fulfilled and having a great life without her and feels turned off by a man who sits around feeling sorry for himself and doesn’t have much else going on in his life.
Why?
Basically because, when a guy can’t move forward in his life without his woman giving him the emotional support that he needs to cope, he comes across as being emotionally weak, needy and insecure, which are qualities that instinctively turn women off.
So, when a woman comes across social media posts from her ex like, “Feeling sad today,” or “Had a really boring weekend,” or “Same crap, different day,” or sees sad, lonely photos of him, she’s not going to think, “Aww… he’s taking our break up so hard. That must mean he still loves me so much. What have I done? I need to initiate a reconciliation with him right away, before it’s too late and I lose him forever!”
Instead, she will likely think something like, “He’s being so wimpy and weak-minded. I’m so glad I’m not stuck in a relationship with him anymore. He’s clearly not a real man. What was I doing in a relationship with him? I need to find myself a MAN!”
Her guard then goes up and it becomes even more difficult for him to get her back.
So, if you want to encourage your ex to chase you and initiate a reconciliation, you need to get to the point where you’re living a fun, exciting life without her and then let her know all about it, via your social media account.
For example: You can do that by posting photos of yourself on your social media pages doing some of the following things…
- Partying and having fun with new friends that she doesn’t know yet.
- Doing something exciting you’ve always wanted to do but have been putting off (e.g. go skydiving, white river rafting, on safari in Africa).
- Traveling in exotic locations while having fun with the locals.
- Having fun doing group activities that include men and women (e.g. mixed sports team, group exercise in the park, wine tasting nights, hiking clubs, pub crawls around your city, salsa dancing classes).
When she can see for herself that you’re living a fun life without her, something amazing happens…
Suddenly, you seem more attractive to her and she begins to think, “I thought he’d be feeling sad and lonely without me and that he’d be trying to get me back. Instead, he’s having a fun time. I never imagined he was so cool. Why wasn’t he more like this when we were together? I want to be a part of the fun life he’s living now that he’s so much more confident in himself. Hold on… what am I saying? I can’t help myself. I want him back.”
That’s how a woman’s attraction really works.
It’s not how a woman will SAY that it works because women don’t want to tell guys, “Hey, the more confident and independent you behave, the more we find you attractive.”
Instead, women go around SAYING that they want men to essentially bow at their feet, buy them gifts, worship the ground they walk on and be super polite, nice, caring and attentive 24/7.
Yet, in reality, women are most attracted to good men who love them and find them attractive, but don’t actually need them.
Next tip…
4. Call Her to Make Her Smile, Have a Laugh Together and Then Get Back to Your Life
You can sit around waiting for your ex to chase you and initiate the reconciliation, but if you don’t re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you first, chances are high that you will be waiting for a long time, if not forever.
On the other hand, if you get her on a phone call with you right away, make her smile, laugh and feel excited about talking to you again and then get back to your life and ignore her for a few days, she won’t be able to stop herself from chasing you.
For example: Imagine you’ve just been talking to your ex on the phone…
She was laughing, smiling and feeling good.
You then said something like, “Okay Jenny, it’s been great talking to you. I do miss you at times, but I also accept that we’ve broken up. I’m heading out to (something cool that you’re about to do with friends), but maybe we can say hi again sometime soon. I hope you have a great week.”
She will then see that you really have changed (i.e. you’re confident and emotionally independent) and her guard will naturally come down.
Soon enough, she will most likely send you a text to say hi (or text you about something random) and that will be your cue to call her and arrange a meet up.
Remember: Not all women have the courage to openly chase you because they’re afraid that you might reject them.
So, if she doesn’t text you or call you after 3-4 days, just call her again and get her smiling, laughing and enjoying talking to you again.
Then, when you know that she’s feeling attracted and open, suggest catching up in person as friends.
At the meet up, you need to continue building on her initial feelings of respect and attraction for you, until she either tells you that she wants to give the relationship another chance, or she hints at it (e.g. hugs you, tells you that she has missed you, is open to kissing you, touches you, says that she likes the new you) and then leaves it up to you to make it happen.
Don’t Let Her Slip Away!
It would be ideal if your ex came chasing after you and begged for a reconciliation, but you shouldn’t have that as your only option to get her back.
Every woman is different and many women simply don’t have the courage to risk being rejected by their ex guy, so they wait for him to make a move.
If he doesn’t, she decides to move on, rather than risking the potential to be rejected and then be the one who is hurting after the break up.
So, rather than losing her forever, just make her come back by sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again by interacting with her every chance you get from now on.
Then, when she either initiates the reconciliation or opens up to it, you will be sure it’s because she’s more in love with you now than ever before.
You have made her feel new, exciting feelings that she just can’t resist.
It feels good to her.
She wants it.
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