Here are 4 things you can do to make your ex stop blaming you for everything:
1. Tell her that she gets one last apology from you and after that, you’re just going to laugh when she blames you for everything
Some women thrive on creating endless drama in their lives and this gets worse when they break up with a guy.
In a case like that, a woman who is a drama queen might enjoy making a big show of how hurt and betrayed she feels, simply to see her ex squirm and feel bad.
Yet, in reality she’s coping just fine and is even getting on with her life, going out with friends, meeting new guys and even enjoying herself.
Of course, that doesn’t mean your ex isn’t feeling any pain or anger at all about your break up, because she probably is and it’s normal for her to feel that way.
It’s also normal for her to want to bring it up during conversation with you.
However, sometimes a woman might get to a point where she’s being unreasonable and is unfairly blaming her ex for everything that happened between them and saying things like, “It’s all your fault we broke up. You’re the jerk who stuffed what we had up. I can’t believe I let you treat me that way for so long. I really thought I could trust you and that what we had would last, but you made a fool of me. You destroyed my love for you and I will never be able to forget that. I’m a shell of my former self and it’s all because of you!”
Here’s the thing though…
Even if everything she’s saying about him is true, if a guy lets his ex talk to him like that and treat him like a naughty little boy who needs to be scolded for his bad behavior, it will only make her lose even more respect for him.
Why?
Mainly because he’s allowing her to dominate him emotionally.
In the same way, if you let your ex get the upper hand with you by always blaming you for everything, you won’t be able to move past that so that you can re-attract her and get her back.
This is why, the next time she starts to rant about how everything is all your fault, you need to put a stop to it right away.
For example: In a firm but gentle tone of voice you need to say to her something along the lines of, “Okay, I get it. I stuffed up and I’m truly sorry for the pain I caused. However, this is the last time I’m going to apologize to you. What’s done is done and it serves neither of us to keep going on about what happened over and over again. In fact, it only prevents us from healing and moving forward. So, from now on, if you start blaming me for everything, I’m just going to laugh.”
Of course your ex will probably be shocked when you say that to her and she may even act like she’s pissed off at you, but don’t let it get to you and cause you to crumble and start apologizing to her again.
Instead, maintain your confidence and understand that deep down, she will be feeling a spark of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, her walls start to come down and then interactions become more pleasant and enjoyable.
You can then build on her feelings and get her back.
Another thing you can do to make your ex stop blaming you for everything is…
2. Laugh at her when she is blaming you
Stop taking her blaming so seriously and turn it into something that you and her can laugh about.
For example: The next time you’re talking to your ex (over the phone or in person) and she says something along the lines of, “I just can’t forget what you did to me! It’s all your fault that my life is ruined! I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you after the way you treated me. You’re such a jerk!” rather than allow feelings of guilt to make you become submissive around her, stay emotionally strong instead and turn her negativity into something you can both laugh about.
For instance, you can respond by saying something like, “Oh, we’re blaming me for everything again? Sure, I can take it. I’ve been going to the gym lately so my shoulders are quite broad and muscular now, so I can take it. In fact, my shoulders are so big, you can also blame me for global warming and the economy too if you like. Everything is my fault” and then have a laugh with her about that.
When you respond in that way, not only are you showing her that you’re a confident and emotionally strong man, you’re also making her smile and laugh.
She then likely starts to feel a bit sheepish about the way she’s been treating you, which means she naturally stops being so hostile and guarded around you.
She then becomes more open to talking to you, without always being so negative.
You can then easily reactivate her feelings for you (e.g. my making her laugh and smile some more, showing her via your actions, behavior and the way you respond to her that you’re a new and improved man).
When that happens, she can’t stop herself from thinking about you differently.
All of a sudden you seem more attractive to her and she just can’t stop herself from wanting to experience the new you again and again.
Before she knows it, she’s no longer blaming you for everything and she’s even thinking about the idea of giving you another chance.
Another thing you can do to make your ex stop blaming you for everything is…
3. Focus on making her feel respect for the new, more emotionally strong and emotionally masculine version of you
One of the main reasons why a woman will continue to blame her ex for everything is because she still perceives him as being the same guy she broke up with.
In her mind she’s likely playing all his actions and behaviors over and over again and seeing him the way he was before, during and directly after the break up (e.g. insecure and wimpy, emotionally immature, needy and clingy, oblivious to her needs).
As a result, she can’t let go of her negative feelings for him and move on.
This is why, to get your ex to stop blaming you for everything, you need to make her see you in a new, more positive light.
To do that, you need to interact with her over the phone and in person and show her your confidence and emotional strength (e.g. by using humor to pass her tests) and change her perception of you.
The more you can remain calm (no matter how much she attacks you) and continue making her laugh and smile and feel good to be interacting with you, the more respect and attraction she will feel for the new and improved you.
She will then naturally stop blaming you for everything every time she sees you or talks to you on the phone, because her negative feelings for you will have faded away without her even realizing it.
Then, rather than looking for excuses to avoid you, she will likely be thinking things like, “Okay, I don’t know how this happened, but I’m not angry with him anymore. In actual fact, I feel drawn to him again in a nice way. He’s just so much more emotionally strong and masculine now and regardless of what I say or do to make him revert back to behaving in the ways that caused me to break up with him, he remains calm, relaxed and confident. I would never have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it for myself, but he really has changed. He’s now the kind of man I always wanted him to be. I’m actually starting to believe that we can work things out between us after all.”
So stop asking, “How can I get my ex to stop blaming me for everything,” and focus on regaining her respect and attraction for you by showing her that you’re a new man now.
When she experiences your confidence, emotional strength and emotional masculinity first hand (i.e. on a phone call or in person), she just won’t be able to hold on to her negative feelings and opinions of you.
Then, when her guard comes down, getting her to change her mind about being broken up becomes easy for you.
Another thing you can do to make your ex stop blaming you for everything is…
4. Get her to agree to the fact that everyone, including her, makes mistakes in life and relationships
For example: The next time your ex starts blaming you for everything, you need to say something like, “Yes, you’re right, I did make a lot of mistakes in our relationship. I stuffed up many times and for that I’m truly sorry. However, you have to admit that everyone makes mistakes in life and in relationships, even you. I’m not perfect and neither are you and that’s what makes us human. We stumble and we fall. Sometimes we even hurt the people we love the most. However, that doesn’t make us bad people. It’s just a mistake. The main thing is that we live, we learn and we become better people over time. Of course, not everyone does, but I can promise you that I have, because I’ve learned from my mistakes and I would never be that man again. By the way, I’m not just saying that so that we can get back together again. In fact, I accept that you don’t want that and it’s okay. The main thing though is that you realize I didn’t intentionally go out to hurt you and destroy what we had. I made mistakes and so did you. It wasn’t intentional and now we can put it behind us and move forward without all the anger and resentment, don’t you agree?”
Of course, saying that to her is unlikely to make her instantly forgive you and want to give the relationship another chance, but it will calm things down.
Then, to convince her, it’s up to you to show her during interactions that you truly have changed and improved.
When she sees that your thinking and behavior is at a completely different level from the one you were at when she broke up with you, she will start to feel respect for you again.
When that happens, she also feels attracted to you and is then a lot more willing to open back up to the possibility of you and her getting back together again.
Mistakes to Avoid When She’s Blaming You For Everything
If you want your ex to stop blaming and start wanting you back, it’s vital that every time you interact with her from now on, you say and do the types of things that will reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
This is why, you need to avoid making any of the following mistakes and risk turning her off instead:
1. Trying to get her to commit to the idea of having a relationship, before you have even re-attracted her
Even though you may be 100% sure about your feelings for your ex and believe that you and her belong together, she probably doesn’t feel the same way about you right now.
So, if you start pushing for another chance with her, she’s probably going to feel annoyed and say something along the lines of, “Are you nuts? How can you expect me to want to get back together again with you after everything you put me through before? Don’t you understand that I don’t love you anymore? I would never get back into a relationship with you. You’re being so annoying. Just leave me alone. I don’t want to discuss this with you anymore.”
So, if you don’t want a response like that from her, you need to make sure that you reactivate her feelings for you first.
Remember: For a woman to commit to the idea of getting back together again, the feelings have to be mutual (or at least close to mutual).
It can’t just be about you wanting her back.
She’s got to want it too.
So, focus on making her feel attracted when she’s with you and regardless of what she’s saying now, her feelings for you will begin to change.
Then the idea of getting back together again will feel good to her, because she respects you and feels attracted to you again.
However, without that first, she’s not going to be interested and she will also continue blaming you for everything.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Failing her confidence tests by taking her blaming too seriously
Sometimes, a woman will blame her ex for everything to test how much of a man he is.
For example: Will he just take it and hand all his power to her, or will he have the confidence and emotional strength to stand up to her and even lovingly laugh at her for being such a drama queen?
Here’s the thing…
A woman wants to be with a man that she can look up to, respect and feel proud of, not a guy who is too timid to put his foot down when he can see that she’s being unreasonable.
Of course, she might pretend that she doesn’t like it when he stands up to her in that way.
However, deep down she will be feeling sparks of respect and attraction for him again.
On the other hand, if he just rolls over and allows her to dominate him, she will lose even more respect for him and then getting her back will become difficult.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Becoming emotional when she is blaming you
It can sometimes be difficult for a guy to understand why his ex is being so mean to him now that they’ve broken up.
He might then become overly emotional (e.g. flustered, annoyed, upset, dejected, feeling pity for himself) and think things like, “Why is she blaming me for everything? I know that I stuffed up, but she made mistakes too. I wasn’t all bad. I must have had some good points as well. I don’t know what to do to make her stop all the accusations and hostility.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that by losing control of his emotions in that way, he actually stops displaying the qualities that attracted his ex to him in the first place (e.g. his confidence and emotional strength, his ability to stand up for himself, his emotional masculinity) and is being an emotionally unattractive instead.
Then, when his ex notices that he’s going to pieces every time she blames him for the state of their relationship, she loses even more respect and attraction for what she perceives as his emotional weakness.
She then treats him more and more badly as a way of pushing him permanently out of her life.
Here’s the thing…
You can’t let your ex get to you and make you lose control of your emotions like she would if the tables were turned.
Remember: She’s the woman, so it’s okay for her to do that.
In fact, you would probably feel bad if she became emotional because you were treating her badly and you would want to protect her and make her feel better.
On the other hand, you’re the man and it’s not okay for you to do that.
If you do, you lose credibility in your ex’s eyes and she then feels justified in being a bitch towards you, because you’re not the kind of man who is confident and emotionally strong enough to face the challenges of life head on, without becoming flustered, insecure or falling apart.
So, if you want your ex to stop blaming your for everything and want you back, you need to believe in yourself and remain confident around her no matter what she says or does.
When you do that, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you again and she then opens back up to being a couple once more.
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