If you want to get your wife back, the first step is to truly understand the deeper reasons why she feels turned off by you and then drastically change or improve those areas.
You are most likely aware of some of the mistakes you made during the marriage, but have you been able to change or improve those things? For example:
- Were you clingy, needy or insecure?
- Were you too controlling or bossy?
- Did you take her for granted?
- Did you stop trying to make her feel attracted to you?
- Did you say and do one too many things that caused her to lose respect for you?
Whatever you did that has turned your wife off, the good news is that you can turn it around.
As long as you are prepared to invest a little bit of time and energy into improving yourself, you will have a high chance of making her feel differently the next time you interact with her.
You can make her feel differently, but you have to be prepared to try a new approach with her.
You can’t just keep saying and doing the same old things that you have been doing in the past.
You’ve got to approach her and the relationship in a new way, otherwise she will feel as though it’s just the same old marriage that she lost interest in.
Marriage Has Changed
In the past, a woman had to choose one man, marry him and then stay with him for life.
Even if he eventually began to treat her badly, caused her to feel unhappy or cheated on her, she would have to stick by the vows of “Until death do us part.”
Divorce was something that people once saw as shameful and even sacrilegious, so they avoided it at all costs.
Yet, that isn’t the case anymore.
Today’s women are surrounded by a culture that encourages them to dump or divorce men who are unable to make them feel the way that they want to feel.
If a woman is unhappy, she only has to turn on MTV or listen to the latest pop songs and female singers will be singing about how they dumped guys who weren’t good enough.
If she watches TV talk shows, she will hear about how great women feel after divorcing a man and if she watches the latest TV drama shows filled with steamy affairs and storylines of women divorcing men and then starting anew with a better man, she will begin to wonder why she is sticking with her unhappy marriage.
So, what’s a man to do?
In today’s world, a man has to know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time. Unlike men of the past who could take their woman for granted, a modern man needs to be able to make his woman feel the way she really wants to feel in a relationship or marriage.
If he is unable to do that and instead makes her feel unhappy, depressed, unwanted, unappreciated or smothered, she has every right to get up and leave.
Today’s women can earn their own money in high paying careers and if they are unable to do that, the government usually has a decent assistance program to help them.
Most women now only stay with men who make them feel the way they really want to feel.
You’ve got to be able to deepen her love, respect and attraction for you. You can’t just expect that because things felt great early on or because you are married, she will stick around for life.
Unfortunately, that’s just not the way it works anymore.
Did Both of You Want to Separate, or Did She End it?
When a separation is a mutual decision, it usually seems like a good idea at the time.
Additionally, the wife usually makes it sound like there is a good chance that they will get back together soon.
She will say things like, “I just need some time alone to figure this out” or “I want some time to find myself” or “I want to see how I feel without you” or “I’m not sure that I love you anymore, so this separation will allow me the time to think about it.”
The wife will also often assure her husband that she has no intention of meeting other men.
Yet, that rarely lasts very long because many women now use online dating and apps like Tinder to quickly get a lot of men interested in them, go out on dates and see how they feel.
According to a study carried out at Ohio State University in the USA, approximately 80% of trial separations eventually end in divorce.
Another study found that 90% of marriage separations ended in divorce.
In other words, separating from your wife is not a good idea.
So, what should you do instead?
You’ve got to focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
You have to make her feel respect and attraction in ways that she probably hasn’t ever felt for you, or hasn’t felt in a long time.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
Did You Grow Apart?
One of the key elements to keeping a relationship together for life is developing and growing together as a couple.
Of course, this didn’t apply to marriages 100 years ago because people just stayed together anyway. However, in today’s world, if a couple grow apart for long enough, they may eventually feel like there isn’t much reason to stay together.
Here are two examples that I often see when I help guys to get their wife back…
1. The wife becomes more emotionally intelligent and mature, but the husband stays the same or becomes immature
Most women want to be with a man who they feel is more emotionally mature and stable than they are.
They don’t want to feel as though they are in a relationship or marriage with a guy who they have to “mother” and protect emotionally.
Sometimes, a couple will get married when they are both at the same level of emotional maturity.
However, the wife will then grow as a person and take on a bigger role at work that forces her to develop, evolve and become even more emotionally intelligent and mature than she ever was.
She may then begin to become friends with different types of people than she used to enjoy hanging around with.
If her husband is unable to be respected by those people because his lack of emotional intelligence or maturity, she will begin to lose some respect and attraction for him.
She might lash out at him and complain that she has grown up, but he hasn’t or that he embarrasses her in front of her friends or co-workers.
At this point, a husband may become angry that his wife is choosing a career over their marriage and tell her to get her priorities straight. However, if her career is important enough to her, it might eventually get to a point where she feels like he is holding her back or destroying her chances of being promoted further.
2. The husband hides from his true potential as a man behind the safety of the marriage
This is a fairly common problem and it is when the husband stops going after his true potential in life and begins to spend more time lazing in front of the TV or engaging in fairly useless hobbies that don’t amount to any real benefit to his wife or children.
Meanwhile, bills are piling up, the couple is hardly able to afford to take a holiday and their sex life is drying up.
The wife begins to feel increasingly disappointed that her husband isn’t becoming a bigger and better man.
It’s like he has just settled for a mediocre life and doesn’t feel as though he needs to achieve anything else for the rest of his life. He’s got a wife and he’s set for life.
The wife will then begin to nag and complain to her husband by telling him that he needs to do something with his life, rather than wasting it watching TV, engaging in hobbies or whatever else he does that doesn’t amount to any real benefit to her or the children.
She will ask him to be the man that he promised to be back when they got married; the man she fell in love with.
Not knowing what else to do, many husbands think that the solution must be to help her around the house by doing the housework, making dinner and making life easier for her.
Yet, that isn’t what she wants.
A woman doesn’t forget the fact that she can’t respect and feel attracted to her husband and suddenly love him again because he cleans up the house.
Sucking up to her by doing housework, taking her out to nice dinners or buying her things is not the answer.
A wife wants her husband to become a bigger and better man by rising through the levels of his true potential as a man.
She wants him to act on his biggest dreams in life, rather than just letting his life waste away.
She wants to feel proud of him and feel safe because he is doing his very best to make their life better.
Not just for her though.
Don’t get me wrong.
Women hate it when a man looks to her for leadership on how he should live his life and who he should become.
She doesn’t want to be his life guide, coach or mentor and help him grow into the man he knows he can be.
She also doesn’t want him coming to her and essentially saying, “Okay, I am working harder now. I am becoming a better man. Now do you want me back?”
She doesn’t want him looking to her for a decision.
She wants him to actively make her feel respect and sexual and romantic attraction for him again.
When he does that, she will automatically begin to want him back and won’t want to go through with the divorce.
Okay, so those are just two examples of out 100s that I have come across when helping men to get their wife back.
There are many different things that you can improve or change to get your wife to want to get back with you and end the separation.
However, despite all the differences between the problems that couples experience, one thing remains the same every time…
The man has to stop saying and doing the types of things that turn his wife off and start saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
It is that simple.
It is not a complicated process.
The husband needs to make his wife have feelings for him again by being the sort of man that she can now look up to and feel attracted to.
A man can want it to be more complicated than that if he wants to, but it isn’t.
Focusing on making her have feeling is what works.
In addition to that, a husband also has to be able to apologize for his mistakes and explain himself in a way that shows he truly understands the real reasons why she wanted to end the marriage.
When she can see that he truly understands where he went wrong and has already begun to change, she then drops her guard.
She also feels understood and relieved that her ex-husband (the man she fell in love with and married) is back and better than ever.
She then becomes more open to communicating with him in person and considering giving the marriage another shot.
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