How can you get your ex-girlfriend or fiancé or wife back after taking her for granted?
What you need to do first is apologize. Of course, you’ve most likely done that already. You’ve probably apologized to her many times at this point.
So what else do you do?
You’ve got to start being nice to her, but don’t suck up to her.
A lot of guys make the mistake of really going overboard in trying to suck up to their woman and really show her how much they’ve changed (e.g. a guy might start buying her gifts, paying for things, taking her on holidays, and just going overboard to show her how much he cares).
What you need to do start being nice to her, but don’t suck up to her. If you suck up to her in a desperate way, it’ll actually turn her off because women are turned off by emotional weakness and desperation in men.
You also need to mix in some of your original behavior that attracted her to you in the first place.
Go back to being the confident, cool guy that you were at the start of the relationship. She is attracted to that about you, but in the relationship she just needed you to treat her better, and make her feel more appreciated while being like that.
Don’t let her see you taking her for granted as the worst thing in the world.
Everyone makes mistakes, but what makes a man a great man is when he learns from his mistakes and becomes a better man as a result.
You can say to her, “Look, I’ve learned from my mistakes, and you probably don’t care, but you should at least be able to see that, rather than continually telling me how bad I was before. I know that I’ve made some mistakes, and I don’t expect you to take me back now, but you could at least acknowledge that I’m not like that anymore.”
Laugh off her attempts to continually complain about how you treated her before.
For example: If she’s going on and on about things that you used to do, you can laugh, and in an easy-going kind of way, you can say to her, “Okay. Well, look, that’s the second time you’re bringing this up on the call. I don’t blame you for wanting to talk about it, but look, it’s the second time you’ve brought it up, so let’s try to just say it this one last time.”
Then if she brings it up again later in the call, you say to her, “Look, alright, now that’s the third time that you’re bringing it up. Let’s see if we can get to 5 or maybe even 10 by the end of this call.”
Make light of it rather than continually apologizing over and over again for the same things when she just keeps bringing it up.
Let her see the funny side of things, let her laugh. Let her relax. Let her not be so serious about what she’s talking about.
Yes, you’ve made some mistakes before.
Yes, you didn’t treat her perfectly, but there’s no need to keep going on and on about that.
If she keeps going on and on about it, just turn it into something funny. Turn it into something to laugh about, rather than be so serious about.
Finally, make her feel respect and attraction for you in new and exciting ways.
In some cases, it’s not enough just to go back to how you were at the start and begin to attract her in those ways.
In the cases where I’ve helped guys get a woman back after taking her for granted, he often has to start making her feel respect and attraction in new and exciting ways.
By the way, how to make her feel respect and attraction for you in new and exciting ways is explained in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System.
The Main Mistake Guys Make When Trying to Get a Woman Back After Taking Her For Granted
When it comes to getting a woman back after taking her for granted, the main mistake that guys make is that they forget that she used to feel attracted to the fact that he wasn’t so attentive and such a great boyfriend, fiancé, or husband before.
She used to like that he was a little bit hard to get, a little bit hard to please.
So a guy will make the mistake of becoming super attentive, and nice, and supportive, and polite, and respectful, and everything is just really nice, and he’s trying to show her how much he cares, how much he loves her, but the thing is that isn’t the right approach to take.
You need to approach it in a more balanced way (i.e. be nice to her, but be sure to mix in some of your original confident behavior that attracted her to you in the first place).
When I’ve helped guys to get a woman back in a situation like this, there are many different examples and reasons why he was taking her for granted (e.g. he was too distant, he was emotionally unavailable, he wasn’t willing to commit, he was a bit of an asshole to her, he was a bit too controlling, and he just expected her to put up with his bad treatment).
So to get her back, it’s not about continuing to be a bad boyfriend, fiancé, or husband, and treating her badly, etc., being controlling.
Instead, it’s about understanding that if she put up with that for a long time and she liked it and enjoyed it at the start, and maybe for a couple of months or a couple of years into the relationship, then it means that she’s the sort of woman who does like a guy who is a bit more of a challenge.
What you need to do is mix in some of your original behavior that attracted her to you in the first place, as well as be nice and treat her well from now on. You then need to work on getting some of her trust back.
A great way to do that is to put a percentage on it.
So, say for example, you talk to her and you say, “Hey, look. I know I took you for granted. I was a bit of an asshole. I did this, or I did that (briefly mention whatever you did to take her for granted). What’s it going to take for you to trust me again?”
If she says she doesn’t know because she can’t really trust you, what you can ask her is, “Okay. Well, how much do you trust me now as a percentage? Do you trust me 50%, 30%, 60%, 80%, or maybe 100%?”
Have a little bit of a laugh with her about it. That questions isn’t designed to be serious and formal, and you don’t need to get an accurate answer from her, like, “What percentage do you trust me now? Like 63.2?” sort of thing.
Be more light-hearted about it, but get her to answer the question so you’ve got a definite starting point.
If she says that she trusts you 50%, you can then ask her, “Okay, so what’s it going to take to get to 70%?”
Don’t Ask Her to Help You Understand What You Need to Improve or Change
In most cases, when a man asks what he needs to improve or change, a woman is usually going to say, “I don’t know.”
The reason why a woman says, “I don’t know,” is that she doesn’t want to teach her guy how to be the type of man that she wants him to be.
A woman doesn’t want to be in a situation where she’s with a guy that she constantly has to teach, and mother, and be like a big sister to throughout life. She wants him to understand how to be the type of man that she needs with or without her encouragement, reassurance, teaching, advice, etc.
She just wants him to figure it out and get on with being the sort of man that she needs.
However, if your ex is the sort of woman who will openly explain things, she might say to you, “Oh, well, I’m going to need to see that this is consistent. I’m going to see that you really have changed. I’m going to need time. I’m going to need time to assess this. I’m going to see how I feel.”
So what you need to do then is continue to show her that you really have changed, but don’t get desperate about it (i.e. don’t start sucking up to her by being extra nice).
Women don’t like to see a guy in desperation mode where he’s lowering himself and is going overboard trying to show her how much he’s changed, to hopefully impress her.
What she wants to see is that you’re changing because you want to change, and you are becoming a better man. You’re learning from the mistakes that you’ve made, and you’re becoming a better man as a result.
Taking a Woman For Granted is Common
One final point that I want to make about taking a woman for granted in a relationship is that it’s a very common that men make.
It’s not a fatal mistake; you’re not a failure as a man for doing it. You’re not a bad man for doing that.
Yes, you did make a mistake.
Yes, you could have treated her better, but you’ve learned that now.
As we go through life, we live and learn, and what separates the great men from the not-so-great men are the men who learn from their mistakes and become a better man as a result.
You learning from the mistake of taking her for granted and becoming a better man as a result, that’s a good thing.
That’s something to be proud of. That’s something to lift your chest up about, to keep your chin up about. Not to look back on it and think, “Oh, I’m such a failure. I’m such a bad boyfriend, or fiancé, or husband. I’m such a bad man. I’m such a horrible relationship partner.”
No.
You HAVE learned from your mistake.
You ARE becoming a better man.
Everyone makes mistakes throughout life, but what separates you as being a great man compared to not-so-great men is if you actually learn from this experience, and you do become a better man as a result.
Yet, don’t expect her to jump up and down, and be excited because you’ve learned from the experience.
When a guy is trying to get a woman back, he often makes the mistake of learning from the experience, and then trying to tell her, “Hey, I’ve learned from the experience. I’m a better man now. I’m sorry. Things are different now!”
But that rarely works because it’s more about talking to her and trying to convince her rather than actually making her have feelings.
What you need to do if you want your woman back is you need to actively make her have feelings for you again rather than trying to explain to her that you’ve changed.
If she doesn’t have strong enough feelings of respect, attraction, and love for you, she’s not going to care enough that you’ve learned from the experience to want to get back with you.
What really matters to her is how she feels, and what you can do, if you approach the Ex Back process correctly is you can actively make her have feelings for you again.
You can actively start to trigger her feelings of respect, attraction, and love, and you can also get her to forgive the mistakes that you’ve made in the relationship.
Part of getting her to forgive the mistakes that you’ve made is to let her know that everyone makes mistakes in life, but don’t put too much emphasis on that and think that she’s going to forgive you, and forget everything and rush back into a relationship with you just because she now understands that everyone makes mistakes in life, and it’s possible for a person to learn and grow and become a better person as a result.
That isn’t what really matters to her.
What matters the most is how you make her feel when you interact with her now, whether you are able to actually make her connect with the love again, whether you are able to make her feel respect and attraction for you again.
That is what really matters.
Get Her to Fall in Love With You Again
Okay, so I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and it has been helpful for you.
If you want a step-by-step solution to follow, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System.
It’s 10 hours of video that you can begin watching right now or you can download it, you can watch it later, you can go into your Modern Man account and watch it online.
By the end of watching the 10 hours of video, you will be ready to contact her, get her to meet up with you, get her to respect you, and forgive you, and feel attracted to you again; reconnect with the love and give the relationship another chance.
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