So, how can you get your ex back if she’s dating someone else?
In this video, I’m going to cover 9 points that you need to be aware of that will help you get her back.
1. Don’t see him as being better than you
I understand that you might be hurt by the fact that she broke up with you and she’s now with another guy.
You might also have seen her looking so happy and into her new guy.
You might be imagining that he’s making her feel so much more attraction than you and she’s so much happier with him than she ever was with you.
Yet, thinking in that way is not going to help you get her back.
What you need to do is think like a champion.
A champion doesn’t see his opponents as being better than him.
I’ll give you three examples.
The first example is Cristiano Ronaldo. He is a champion football player (or soccer player, depending on what country you’re from).
In an Italian interview, Cristiano Ronaldo was quoted as saying, “For me in my mind, I am the best. I might not be, but in my mind I am the best.”
Number two, Conor McGregor, double champion with the UFC.
He has said things like, “These people are not on my level. No one thinks like me, no one talks like me, no one moves like me, they’re not like me. I am the UFC.”
He talks about himself as though he is the best fighter and no one is on his level and he really believes that. It’s a champion mindset.
I don’t recommend, of course, that you go around talking like a Conor McGregor.
He goes around saying it because it sells fights. It’s part of the fight business.
People get amped up. They want to see him lose and tune in to watch his fights and they become some of the most watched fights in UFC history.
The third example of a champion is myself and I’m laughing here because I don’t normally refer to myself as a champion when I’m talking to other people.
It’s just how I think about myself.
I think about myself as being a champion at picking up women.
I’ve had my choice of women for so many years. I’ve picked up so many beautiful women, catwalk models and pulled so many women back for sex, had multiple women in my life at once and of course, I also picked up my wife.
When I met my wife, she was 20 and I was 35.
Here’s the thing though…
When I met her in the nightclub, how many guys do you think I noticed in the nightclub that night?
Zero.
It’s a champion mindset.
I did not see any other guys in the club even though there was probably hundreds of them there.
I do not see other guys as being competition for women when I’m around.
I am the man.
Of course, it’s not something that I go around saying.
I was laughing a little bit earlier because it’s not something that you can go around saying about yourself.
If you say that, people start putting you down.
They say, “Oh, you know, you’re ugly, you’re not tall, you don’t have muscles. How can you say that about yourself?” and so on.
The same thing with other champions apart from Conor McGregor where he can go around mouthing often.
It’s a big part of his appeal.
Most guys who have that champion mindset just go through life and they just know that they’re the man.
So, how this applies when getting your ex back if she’s dating someone else is that you don’t look at that guy as being competition to you.
Don’t look at him as being on your level.
You’re so much better than him.
You are the man.
There’s no one else like you.
You are literally the greatest guy in the world.
If you think about her new guy as being better than you, then you’ve already lost.
You’ve got to think like a champion.
You’ve got to see yourself as being better than him.
You’ve got to see yourself as being such a great man that that guy is not even on your level.
Yes, she might be feeling attracted to him now and she might be enjoying the start of the relationship, but he’s going to stuff up.
No one is as good as you.
That’s how you need to be thinking.
Of course, you also need to back that up by being able to make her feel very attracted to you, which I’m going to talk about as we continue in this video.
2. Understand why she really broke up with you
If you’re going to be able to attract her and make her see you as being better than him, you really need to understand why she broke up with you.
Sometimes a woman will break up with a guy and she’ll give him examples of why she has broken up with him and she’ll be quite direct about it.
However, in many cases, women give vague reasons and they don’t really explain why the guy is being dumped.
For example: She will say, “I don’t know how I feel anymore. I just need time by myself. I don’t think I want to be in a relationship anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. I need to figure myself out,” and so on.
Yet, that doesn’t give a man any details or instructions on how he can actually re-attract her, which is the point.
She doesn’t want to have to explain to him, “Hey, you know, by the way, the reason why I’m breaking up with you is that you’re just not manly enough around me. You’re too emotionally sensitive. You’re too insecure. I need you to have a bit more balls. I need you to put me in my place in a dominant but loving way.”
She’s not going to say that because she doesn’t want to, number one, teach the guy because then she fears that she’s going to have to teach him for the rest of their life together.
Number two, she doesn’t want to feel like it’s fake.
She doesn’t want to feel like he’s acting more manly all of a sudden to try to impress her when it’s not real.
She doesn’t want to feel like he’s going to put on this act and then he’s going to fall back into his old ways again and she’s going to have wasted time being in a relationship with him.
So, why did your woman break up with you? What were some of the real reasons?
For example: Another reason why a guy will get broken up with is that the woman feels like it’s just too much of a chore being with him.
He needs her emotional support, he’s often insecure and sad and doesn’t know how to deal with challenges in life and puts that on her.
Another reason might be that he’s a good guy, but he’s just too neutral. There’s just no spark there.
He’s treating her well, he’s doing right by her, he’s listening, he’s being a good boyfriend or husband, but there’s just no spark there because he’s too neutral.
He lacks that masculinity in his conversation style, in his behavior and in his actions that will create a spark.
He doesn’t make her feel like a feminine woman around him.
She feels more like a buddy, or a friend, or worse, she feels like a big sister or kind of a sister figure in his life.
If the new guy isn’t making the mistakes that you made and he’s attracting her in ways that she wished you would, then she’s going to feel more drawn to him.
She’s not going to feel like there’s enough of a reason to leave him and get back with you.
So, make sure that you are preparing to properly re-attract her the next time you interact with her.
That is what makes all the difference.
Next…
3. Don’t let her see that you are upset or lost without her
It’s fine to feel upset and feel sad about losing your woman.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
If you listen to most of the songs on the radio, you’ll realize that they’re pretty much all about wanting to get an ex back, missing an ex, being hurt by an ex, etc.
It’s not just you who wants an ex back.
Wanting an ex back is a totally normal and natural thing that pretty much everyone on the planet who experiences relationships goes through.
So, there’s nothing wrong with you feeling a bit hurt after being dumped and feeling rejected that she doesn’t want to get back with you, also feeling hurt that she’s with a new guy.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
However, the problem is where you let her see that when you interact with her or you let her pick up on that via your posts on social media.
What she needs to see is that you’re not lost and lonely and rejected and depressed and confused without her.
She needs to be able to see and sense when she interacts with you that you are fine, that you’re not going around in circles without her.
She also needs to see that you’re not negatively affected by the fact that she’s dating a new guy.
I don’t mean that you should be saying things like, “Oh, wow. I’m so happy for you. I hope it works out. I hope you live happily ever after. All I want is for you to be happy.”
I’m not talking about acting like you care and you want her to succeed in a relationship.
No acting.
What you need to be able to do is let her sense and pick up that you genuinely are okay without her.
You don’t have to tell her that because women are very good at picking up the subtle signals and cues and hints from a guy’s body language and conversation style to determine how he really feels about something.
So what you need to do, if you haven’t done it already, is stop discussing the relationship with her and stop chasing a relationship with her.
Without saying it, let her sense that you don’t even seeing the other guy as being on your level.
You’re not affected by him.
You don’t feel inferior.
You don’t even place him as being on the same level as you.
She is your woman and you and her supposed to be together.
He is just there for now and he will be out of the way soon.
You are going to re-attract her and you’re going to get her back.
Now, a big part of doing that is to not let her see that you’re affected negatively by the breakup or by the fact that she is with a new guy.
It’s also about not chasing the relationship and appearing like you really need it to feel better about yourself.
Instead, you need to focus on attraction.
That leads me to the next point.
4. Get ready to give her the full attraction experience
Generally speaking, most men get broken up with because they’re on one extreme or the other.
They’re either too insecure and too soft and too gentle and too insensitive and too nice, or they’re too arrogant, selfish, heartless and mean and rude and things like that.
So, if a guy has been taking his woman for granted and he didn’t really treat her well and, you know, she was basically his last priority and that’s how she felt, then he wasn’t offering her the full attraction experience of being with a guy.
Likewise, if a man was too soft and gentle and sweet and trying too hard and sucking up to her and he was emotionally sensitive and insecure, then he also wasn’t giving her the full attraction experience of being in a relationship with a man.
What a woman really wants to experience is a relationship with a good man, who makes her feel sexually attracted, who makes her feel like she can look up to him and respect him and who makes her feel like she’s in love.
She doesn’t want to guy that she can walk all over and she also doesn’t want a guy who treats her like crap and just expects her to put up with it for life.
To get an ex-woman back who is now dating another guy, you need to prepare to give her the full attraction experience.
You do not have to be perfect at it.
You don’t have to be Mr. Perfect all of a sudden.
You just need to be better.
You just need to be able to interact with her and let her sense and pick up that the missing pieces to who you are, are now filled in.
You’re more of a complete man now.
If she interacts with you and she picks that up (and she will, women are very good at picking it up), she will then start to think about you in comparison to him.
If he has been making mistakes (most guys do) and turning her off, then she’ll start to see him as being a less favorable option compared to you.
She’ll start to realize that when she interacts with you now, she feels attracted to you, she feels respect, she feels love, she feels like you finally get her, you understand what she really wants from a man.
Whereas when she’s with him, yeah, he’s being nice to her, yeah, they’re going out in dates, yeah, it felt good at the start, but she’s starting to notice that he doesn’t really understand her.
He does have missing pieces.
He’s not a fully complete man.
This is why it’s really important that you understand where you went wrong with her, so you can fill in the right missing pieces.
A lot of times when I’m helping guys to get women back, they’re trying to get the woman back by offering her things that she doesn’t even care about.
For example: A guy got broken up with because he was too insecure and wasn’t manly enough and he’s trying to get her back by being even nicer to her, talking about the connection that they had and trying to get her to remember the good times.
Yet, she just doesn’t care about that because she doesn’t really feel attracted to him.
He just hasn’t been manly enough for her.
He’s being too insecure and emotionally sensitive.
What he needs to do to be able to let her see that the missing pieces are being filled in is that he needs to interact with her and let her see that he’s not insecure anymore.
It’s not about telling her, by the way.
As I said earlier, women are very good at picking it up when they talk to you.
When a woman talks to you and she’s being difficult and testing you, she can see by the way that you react to her, whether or not you feel insecure.
She can hear it on a phone call or she can observe it in your body language and your conversation style when she’s interacting with you in person.
So, if you want to get her back when she’s dating a new guy, you’ve got to make sure that you are preparing yourself to properly re-attract her.
You’ve got to make sure that when she interacts with you, she picks up on the fact that, “Hang on. You aren’t so bad after all. You actually feel really good to interact with now.”
She feels respect for you, she’s starting to look up to you, she feels attracted to you, she’s starting to feel sparks of love for you again.
After an interaction with you, she goes away imagining being back with you, she’s imagining hugging you and kissing you and having sex with you and being in love with you again, then she starts to think, “Well, why aren’t we together? Why am I with this new guy? You know, why do I feel so drawn to my ex all of a sudden? Maybe it’s a sign that we’re meant to be together. Maybe he is the one. I don’t want him to be the one that got away. I’m so confused now. What am I going to do? Maybe I should just see him. Maybe we should be together. Maybe we are meant to be together. I’ve got to follow my heart.”
5. Use the friends angle, but don’t act like a friend
One of the ways that you can get your ex back when she’s dating a new guy is to take on the friends angle.
For example: You stay in touch as friends. You are okay to catch up and have a coffee or a bite to eat as friends.
Yet, when you catch up with her or you interact with her on the phone, do not act like a friend.
Don’t talk to her in a neutral way and just say, “Hey, how are you doing? How’s your life been going? Yeah, how’s work? Oh, yeah. I’ve been working on this and I went to the gym the other day and this happened and that happened.”
That’s not going to make her feel attracted.
Neutrality doesn’t make women feel attracted.
You can’t be neutral and expect a woman to feel excited and turned on and wanting to kiss you and have sex with you.
You’ve got to push your buttons.
You’ve got to mess with her a little bit (e.g. playfully tease her, joke around with her, put her on the spot at times).
You’ve got to make her feel attracted and turned on by the way you are now behaving around her.
So, when using the friends angle, make sure that when you interact with her, you make her feel sparks of sexual attraction and love and you make her feel respectful of you.
Don’t talk to her in a neutral way or be really nice and talk about her relationship and hope that it all goes well and things like that.
Be a man that she can feel sexually attracted to again.
Be a man that she feels love for.
That’s what really counts.
6. Don’t respect her new relationship
She’s your woman, not his, so don’t worry about him.
Don’t look at him as a guy who is better than you and he has to be with her now because she broke up with you and she’s so happy with him now.
No.
You don’t have to respect their new relationship and give her years to be with him and then hopefully she breaks up with him and you can get her back.
Years later, you’re probably going to have found another woman already.
So, don’t waste time with respecting her new relationship.
Sure, be patient, be calm and be easygoing about it, but be assertive at the same time.
Get what you want.
You want her back, so don’t avoid catching up with her because you think it might be disrespectful.
Don’t worry about the other guy.
He’s with your woman. She is not his woman. She is your woman. So claim her, get her back.
By the way…
She might seem happy in the new relationship, but often that is as a result of her being in a relationship with you and then breaking up and not wanting to feel like she’s starting all over again.
She likes the idea of being happy in a relationship, so she wants to get the relationship to be the way that it used to be with you when things were good.
She wants to go back to being happy and being in a relationship that is working.
So, it might seem like they’re moving very fast and they’re so happy together, but the guy is most likely making mistakes or he’s going to make mistakes.
For example: He’s most likely going to start to become insecure and clingy or needy or he’s going to take her for granted and start treating her badly.
He might become boring and neutral and turn her off.
He might be too focused on his work and not giving her enough time or he might be too focused on her and she starts to feel smothered by the relationship.
Many guys out there struggle to keep a relationship together once they get it, so don’t assume that they’re going to stay together forever.
After all, 100% of her relationships have failed so far, so this one is most likely going to fail as well.
So, don’t look at him as though he is making her happy and she seems happy, so therefore I need to get out of the way and just respect her relationship is the right thing to do.
If you want to do that, then fine. Go for it. Let them have their space.
However, if you want to get her back, what I’ve seen work when I help guys to get a woman back who is dating a new guy is where the guy interferes.
You mess up her new relationship.
You destroy it.
How do you destroy it?
Next point…
7. Meet up with her and re-attract her
When you meet up with your ex-woman and you make her feel respect for the new version of you and you make her feel sexually attracted and sparks of love, she starts to feel confused.
She starts to wonder why she’s feeling so attracted to you when she thought she was happy with him.
She then starts to think, “Well, hang on. Is the relationship with you over or is there still something there?”
Why is she feeling drawn to you all of a sudden?
Why has she gone away from catching up with you and been laying on her bed thinking about you and remembering the good times?
Why is she imagining being in your arms all of a sudden?
Why is she imagining kissing you and having sex with you?
Why is she imagining being back in a relationship with you?
It must mean something.
She then starts to feel confused and as a result, she may break up with that guy or she might start seeing you on the side or she might start behaving differently around him, which will make him insecure.
If she starts talking about the fact that you and her met up and now she’s feeling confused, he might become in secure about that, he might start trying to put you down and say bad things about you.
He might become emotionally sensitive and clingy and needy and that’s going to turn her off.
It’s going to make you seem more attractive.
So, rather than respecting her relationship and just staying out of the way, I recommend that you meet up with her and you mess up her new relationship.
Don’t worry about the new guy.
She’s your woman, right?
You want her back.
You and her are supposed to be together, so respect that.
Don’t respect some random new relationship that she’s having with a guy that you think she shouldn’t even be with.
You think she should be with you, so make it happen.
8. Don’t point out his faults to her in order to make him look bad
When I say don’t respect the relationship that she’s in now, I don’t mean start bad mouthing him.
I don’t mean that you should start putting him down and trying to make yourself look good in comparison to him.
That only makes a woman feel more attracted to him than to you.
What a champion does or what an alpha male does is that he doesn’t see other guys as being competition for what he wants.
You don’t even need to put that guy down.
It’s pretty damn obvious that you’re better than him.
You’re the greatest guy in the world.
Of course, you don’t go around saying that, but it’s just a mindset that you have, a belief that you have about yourself.
When you go about your life with that mindset running through your body, you get things done.
You go after what you want, you get your woman back, you get the promotion at work, you get things done.
However, when you go through your life with a mindset of, “I’m not good enough. Other guys are better than me,” you procrastinate, you miss out on promotions at work, you miss out on the girl that you want and so on.
So, don’t actively try to put him down or make him look bad by talking yourself up.
Just let her sense that you know you are a great man by the way that you talk to her, by the way that you behave, by the way that you react to her.
I’m not talking about acting arrogant and acting like you’re really cool and that you’re the best guy in the world.
What I’m talking about is having a relaxed confidence about yourself where you don’t even need to prove yourself.
You’re just so damn good.
At the same time, though, always remember to make other people feel good in your presence.
In this case, it’s your ex-girlfriend or your ex-wife.
You also need to make sure that she feels good about herself when you’re interacting with her.
You don’t want to come across as though you’re so good and she’s just nothing compared to you.
You want to come across as though you have that confidence in yourself, but you also have the charm and the class to be able to make her feel good in the moment as well.
You give her some compliments and you don’t try to put her down or make her feel inferior compared to you.
9. Be calm, but don’t wait around doing nothing
When I help guys to get their woman back, the biggest mistake that I see them make is just waiting around not doing anything.
Guys will cut off contact and go cold, you know, just go silent for 30 days or 60 days or another large amount of days.
They are hoping that by being out of sight and out of mind, she’s going to miss him.
Yet, it just doesn’t work if one ingredient is missing.
That is…
Attraction.
If your ex woman doesn’t feel attracted to who you are now and she’s turned off by who you were when she broke up with you, then she’s not going to feel motivated to want to get back with you.
What works is when you interact with your ex and you make her feel attracted to the new you.
You interact with her and she feels respect for you, she feels attracted to you, she feels sparks of love, she knows that things are different now.
There’s something between you and her that isn’t over.
The relationship isn’t finished.
Something is there.
Trust Your Gut Instinct Feeling
One final point that I want to make for you in this video is to talk about the fact that some people disagree with getting a woman back and some people think it’s a great idea.
Some people say, “Hey, just move on. Don’t worry about her. If she’s with a new guy, then stuff that bitch. Who cares? If she loved you, she wouldn’t have done that.”
Whereas other people might say, “If you love her and you know that the relationship can be better, then go ahead and get her back.”
Everyone’s going to have their opinion about it and you can have your opinion about it and not have to worry about what everyone else is saying.
If in your gut you feel like you want to get her back and that the relationship would be better this time around, then get her back.
What happens when a guy gets his woman back when he does it right is that he goes through a transformation.
The breakup was a wake-up call.
He was making mistakes and he turned her off. She then broke up with him.
Now, he has an opportunity to either wallow in self-pity and feel sad and depressed and lose confidence in himself or become a better man.
You might be a great man already, but you can be better.
The mistakes that you made in the relationship, you don’t need to make those mistakes anymore.
You can become a more complete man.
You can become the sort of man that she really wants to be with.
You can become and be the sort of man that makes other guys pale in comparison to you. You can make this new guy seem like a mistake and you as being the one that got away.
So, if you want to get her back, go ahead and do it.
Don’t sit around thinking that you need to wait for her to hopefully break up with this guy one day.
You can make her feel attracted to you again.
You can make her have strong feelings for you again and want to be with you.
Learn More
I hope this video has been helpful for you and if you need more help to get your woman back, I recommend that you watch my program Get Your Ex Back Super System
It’s a 7-step system and the same rules apply whether she is dating a new guy, single, whether you have children with her, you don’t have children with her, she’s studying, she works or she’s this age or that age.
All of that does not change the fundamentals.
What you need to do to get her back is the same.
You need to make her feel attracted to you again and you need to make her want the relationship.
You need to make her feel drawn to you.
When you do that, getting her back is simple and easy.
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