How to Get Your Ex Back: 5 Common Mistakes to Avoid

In this post, I’m going to teach you how to get your ex back.

Essentially, what you need to do is to stop saying and doing the things that are going to turn her off and start doing things that are going to draw her to you.

Three Important Questions For You

Before I get into explaining some of the mistakes that guys make when trying to get a woman back and then explain what to do instead, I’m going to ask you these three important questions:

When you talk to her, are you making her feel drawn to you or repelled by you?
When you text her, are you making her feel drawn to you or repelled by you?
When you interact with her, are you behaving in a way that makes her feel drawn to you or repelled by you?

That’s what really counts.

It doesn’t matter that you want to get back with her, that you’re sincere and that you’re promising to change.

It doesn’t matter that you experienced good times together in the past or that she used to feel attracted to you, used to respect you or used to really love you.

Those things really don’t matter at the point where a woman has broken up with a guy and is thinking about moving on or has already moved on.

The only way to make your ex care enough to want to get back with you, is to start saying and doing the things that are going to make her forgive your mistakes, feel respect for you and feel attracted to you again.

When that happens, she automatically opens herself back up to the love. She automatically reconnects with her old feelings.

5 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Getting an Ex Back

Some of the classic mistakes that guys make when trying to get an ex back are…

1. Asking her to explain why

When a guy gets broken up with, it’s only natural that he’s going to be asking why. “Why are you breaking up with me? What’s going on? What I have done? What can I change? Why are you feeling this way?” etc.

So, don’t worry if you’ve already done it.

It’s only natural that you’re going to ask her questions like that, but the point here is this: A woman doesn’t want to be a man’s teacher in life.

She doesn’t want to teach you how to be a man. She doesn’t want to teach you how to be the sort of man that will be attractive to her. She wants you to be able to work that stuff out yourself and start being the type of man that she actually wants you to be.

If you can’t do that on your own, it means that she has to teach you.

Most women do not want to play the role of being a guy’s mother, big sister or teacher in life. Women don’t want to take on that role because it doesn’t make them feel feminine, it doesn’t make them feel girly and it doesn’t make them feel like a real woman.

She wants to feel feminine in your presence. She wants to feel like you’re a man that she can look up to and respect, not a man that she has to guide, take care of or be gentle with.

2. Rushed apologies

Once again and quite naturally, when a good man gets broken up with by his woman, he will want to apologize and say sorry for how he has made her feel. He assumes that if she gives her a sincere enough apology, it will change how she feels.

Yet, it doesn’t.

Why a rushed apology doesn’t work in almost all cases when getting a woman back is that she will have broken up with him for deep, complex reasons.

For example: He might have been clingy, needy or insecure or on the opposite end of the scale, he might have taken her for granted and not really given a shit about her.

During the relationship, he didn’t really care about her, took her for granted and may have even broken up with her a few times. Eventually, she had enough and decided that she wanted out.

Rushed apologies don’t work because women instinctively know that it’s going to take you a couple of days or a couple of weeks to fix any emotional issues that you have and improve on the mistakes that you were making.

It’s going to take a bit of time for you to think about it, maybe do some learning and then start to behave, think and talk differently around her.

3. Begging or crying

Not all guys make this mistake, but it is a pretty common one.

I’ve helped more than 100 phone coaching clients to successfully get their ex back and some of the times when I talk to guys, they are confident, masculine men who are successful in their career, whereas other times, they are guys who don’t really yet know how to be a man.

In some cases, a guy was a confident, masculine man prior to meeting his woman and was able to maintain that for the initial part of the relationship. Yet, over time, he lost his way and became a bit insecure, needy or clingy of his girlfriend, fiance or wife.

He lost touch with what it means to be a man, so when she broke up with him, he reacted by crying, begging or pleading for another chance.

One of the reasons why begging, crying or pleading doesn’t work is that women aren’t attracted to the weakness in men. Women are attracted and drawn to strength in men, so when you present a woman with emotional weakness, it doesn’t draw her to you or turn her on.

It doesn’t make her think, “Wow! Cool! This guy wants me so much that he’s begging and pleading. That must mean that he’s “the one”…it must mean that we’re meant to be together.” All it does is turn her off.

4. Over-texting

When I help guys to get their ex back, one of the first things that I advise is to stop texting.

The only time you should be texting your ex is to get her on the phone, so you can then arrange a meet up.

The reason why is that if you think about what a text actually is, you will realize that it’s just words on a screen.

When you send her a text, she doesn’t know what state of mind you’re in at that point, so she has to GUESS.

…and in most cases, she guesses in a negative light.

She’ll be thinking things like, “Hhh…he’s just trying to get me back. He’s trying all sorts of text tricks to get me back” or “Ohh…that text that he just sent me there was supposed to make me jealous or make me miss him. I get it…I see right through it…it’s not working!”

What I always advise for guys and what I provide in my program for getting an ex back, are texts that actually get her on the phone.

To get an ex back, you’ve got to get her on the phone and you’ve got to meet up with her in person. The most efficient and effective way to make a woman feel attracted to you, to respect you and to forgive you is to talk to her in person.

You have to push to get a meet up with your ex. You can’t just be hiding behind text because most texts are actually going to turn her off.

5. Trying to be her friend

Some guys make the mistake of thinking that the path to getting an ex back is being her friend.

A guy may think, “Okay…I’m going to be a really good friend to her. I will pay her rent, buy her gifts, talk to her, be there for her in any way I can….and hopefully that will make her realize that I really do love her, that I’m serious about wanting to get back with her and that I’m serious about doing the right things this time.”

Yet, it doesn’t work because being a woman’s friend doesn’t make her feel sexually attracted to you.

It doesn’t make her feel like she wants to be with you in a romantic, sexual relationship. In most cases, it just makes her experience friendly types of emotions towards her ex where she likes him as a person, but doesn’t feel attracted to him in a sexual way.

This is especially true if the guy is acting like he doesn’t deserve her, can’t get her back and is only good enough as a friend. Behaving like that turns women off because they aren’t attracted to emotional weakness and self-doubt in men, especially after they’ve broken up with him.

Getting Her Back For Real

When getting an ex back, you actually need to have a plan.

There are way too many mistakes that guys make because they don’t have a plan or the right advice to follow. It’s way too easy to mess up the process of getting an ex back if you don’t know what you’re doing or learn the right way to do it.

Some guys have friends in their life, or brothers, cousins or a father who they can turn to who will help them out and teach them what to do. Those guys are great with women and can provide advice to him to follow to get his ex back.

However, after being dumped, what a lot of guys find is that most people around them say, “Just move on…there’s plenty of fish in the sea” or “Leave her alone and if she comes back to you, it’s meant to be” and other bits of unhelpful advice that don’t actually help him get her back.

So, if you don’t have people in your life that are willing to help you out or are capable of helping you out, then that’s what I’m here for.

No-One Was Available to Help Me Get My Ex Back…So I Lost Her

I don’t know if you know my story already, but basically what happened to me is that I got lucky with a girl that I met at a party when I was 19 years old.

Her and I got into a relationship and then a year and half later, I had become needy, insecure, over-protective and she cheated on me and then dumped me.

I was destroyed.

I didn’t know what to say or do to get her to forgive me, to get her to give me another chance or to feel respect and attraction for me once again.

Pretty much everything that I was saying and doing around her (including cussing at her and calling her all sorts of nasty names for cheating on me), was turning her off and pushing her away.

I didn’t know what to do, so I was lost.

I only had one friend who was basically telling me that all women are bitches and can’t be trusted, so I should just move on. Obviously, that “advice” didn’t help.

So, basically I was on my own because back when I got dumped, there was no internet with people online helping each other out.

Pretty much everyone in my life was just saying, “Get over it” or “Move on” and all those sorts of unhelpful statements that you’ve probably heard from people in your life too.

As the years went on, I lost a lot of confidence in myself around women and I eventually got to the point where I had to move on. I had to work out how to attract women.

So, one day, I made a decision and said (something like), “Okay, I’m going to go out and approach women every weekend until I work out how to attract women, have my choice with women and not have this (being dumped and alone for years) happen to me again.”

After a bit of initial effort, I worked out how to attract women. I worked out what to say and do to make women feel attracted to me and want to be with me. I worked out how to kiss women within minutes of meeting them, how to take women home for sex and I enjoyed that lifestyle for about 10 years.

I then met my sexy, 20-year old girlfriend when I was 35 years old and recently we got engaged (at age 22 and 37) and are going down the path of marriage.

So, in other words, I know how to attract women, I know how to pick them up and I know how to keep a relationship together.

Yet, that doesn’t make me an expert at getting an ex back.

What has made me an expert at getting an ex back, is helping more than 100 phone coaching clients to successfully get a woman back.

After completing that, then I recorded my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System. This program is a 7 step system that a man needs to follow to get a woman back.

To get a woman back, you’ve got to be prepared to do what it takes. If you’re not prepared to say and do the things that are going to make her feel respect and attraction for you, then you’re most-likely not going to get her back.

The steps that I provide in my system have been developed by helping more than 100 phone coaching clients to get their ex back.

Not all cases are the same…

Some guys that I’ve helped out are good with women and have no problem at picking up new women, but they lost their way with their current woman and simply don’t know what to say or do to get her back.

Some guys are okay at picking up new women and kind of got lucky with their current woman when they met her. She has now dumped him and he doesn’t know what to do to get her back.

Some guys are completely hopeless at picking up women and don’t know how they even picked up their ex or what to do to get her back.

Regardless of a guy’s skill level with women, what remains the same every time is that you’ve got to say and do the things that are going to draw her to you and make her feel like she’s losing a great man.

When you do that, she starts feeling like it’s okay to forgive you. She starts feeling respect for you again, she starts feeling attracted to you again and she starts opening herself up to the love.

Are You Going to Get Her Back or Find a New Woman?

How do you feel about other women at this point?

If you’re like most guys who are trying to get their ex back, other women don’t really seem that appealing to you right now. You might have tried to meet other girls, but they just don’t make you feel the same way as your ex does. In fact, they probably just make you miss her more.

You really want to get back with your ex, but guess what?

That doesn’t actually matter to her. In most cases where I’ve helped a guy get his ex back, the woman doesn’t care about what the guy wants.

When you’re talking to her, when you’re texting to her and when you’re interacting with her in person, it can’t be about you trying to get her back and your reasons for wanting her back. What you need to do is trigger feelings inside of her that make her want to get back with you.

So, if you are serious about getting her back, begin watching Get Your Ex Back: Super System now and I’ll guide you through the step by step process to make that happen.

Don’t get started though if you’re not prepared to do what it takes to get her back.

You’ve got to be prepared to make changes to how you’re talking to her, texting her and behaving around her. You’ve got to make changes and I can explain exactly what you need to change right now to get her on the phone and be willing to meet up with you in person.

Then, at the meet up, you need to say and do things that trigger her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again.

So, my question for you right now is…

Are you prepared to do what it takes to get her back?

If your answer is “Yes” then get started now and I will guide you through the process of getting her back. If your answer is “No” then maybe you need to start thinking about meeting new women, in which case, I recommend that you watch this video…