Here are 5 things that you can do to achieve that:
1. Stop trying to get her to give you another chance
One of the most common reactions that guys have when they get broken up with is to quickly try to convince their ex to give them another chance.
For example: A guy might start off by apologizing to his ex over and over again for what happened and saying things like, “I’m so, so sorry for what I did! I know I messed up badly, but I promise I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. Please forgive me and give me one more chance to make it up to you.”
If that doesn’t work and she remains closed off, he might then resort to begging and pleading with her and saying something along the lines of, “I’m begging you. Please give me another chance. I swear to you that I will do anything you ask me to do to make things right.”
Yet, a woman rarely gets over her resentment towards her ex and gives him another chance based on his apologies or promises to do her bidding, especially when he is being desperate, needy and emotionally submissive as he tries to get her back.
In fact, that usually just gives her even more reasons to want to stay broken up, because women are instinctively turned off by emotional weakness in men.
So, if that has been your approach to getting your ex back so far, you need to stop right away, because you’re likely turning her off even more.
Of course that doesn’t mean you should give up.
On the contrary.
When you use the right approach, you can easily make your ex get over her resentment towards you and give your relationship another chance.
So, what should you do to make that happen?
Start using interactions with your ex to make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with you (e.g. respectful, attracted, like a real woman, exhilarated).
It has to be about how she feels, not about how bad you feel and how you want another chance with her.
If she currently resents you, then she cares about her own feelings right now and isn’t going to be too interested about how you’re feeling, or what you want.
That’s why you can’t convince her to get over her resentment towards you with words.
Instead, you need to convince her via your actions, behavior and the way you make her feel when she’s with you.
When you rebuild her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (i.e. by showing her that you’re now a new and improved man), she will automatically stop being so resentful towards you.
Her guard will come down and she will then open up to talking to you over the phone and seeing you in person to prove to herself that you really have changed and aren’t putting on an act just to get her back.
Then, when she realizes that you really are a different man from the guy she broke up with, not only will she stop resenting you, she will also begin to open up to the idea of getting back together again.
However, if you don’t reactivate her feelings for you first and just try to convince her with words, she will keep pushing you away and saying things like, “I don’t want anything more to do with you. Just accept that it’s over and leave me alone!”
Another thing you can do to help your ex get over her resentment towards you and give you another chance is to…
2. Create feelings of sexual tension between you and her and build on it
Right now, any positive feelings your ex might still have for you are buried under negative emotions such as resentment, anger and disillusionment.
As a result, she doesn’t feel drawn to you.
In fact, the idea of imagining herself in your arms, hugging, kissing or having sex, likely doesn’t appeal to her at all.
You need to change that and one of the best ways to do that is to create so much sexual tension between you and her, that when she’s alone and thinking about you, rather than think things like, “He’s such a jerk! I will never forgive him,” she starts thinking something along the lines of, “What’s gotten into me? I thought I was truly over him but now I find myself thinking about him all the time and imagining what it would be like for him to kiss me and touch me again. I want him and it’s driving me crazy!”
How can you do that?
To begin with, you need to stop putting yourself in a position of weakness around your ex (e.g. being extra nice and sweet to her, being afraid to stand up to her when she’s being mean or unreasonable, letting her push you around and blame you for the break up, pretending you only want to be friends with her from now on), because that turns her off.
Then you need to create some sexual tension between you and her, so she naturally wants to kiss you, hug you, have sex with you and see what happens after that.
One way to do that is by flirting with her in a relaxed manner, without giving off a, “I want you to get over your resentment towards me and give us a chance,” vibe.
When it comes to getting an ex back, flirting is one of the most effective ways to break down the walls your ex has put up between herself and you and get the sexual energy flowing once again.
It allows her to feel attracted to you, without worrying that it means she is agreeing to give you another chance.
It also makes her think about you in a more positive way when she’s not interacting with you.
Then instead of thinking things like, “I don’t want anything to do with him anymore,” she begins to wonder, “Why can’t I stop thinking about him and hoping that he’s going to call me again?” or, “Why do I want to see him again?”
So, don’t be afraid to flirt with your ex and make her laugh and smile when you interact with her.
The more you build the tension between you and her, the less she will be able to hold on to her feelings of resentment towards you.
Her guard will come down and you can then kiss her, have sex with her and get her back into a relationship with you.
Another thing you can do to help your ex get over her resentment towards you and give you another chance is to…
3. Let her see that she feels differently about you and you’re not even asking for a relationship
One of the reasons why your ex is currently feeling resentful towards you is because she’s thinking of you based on her last impression of you (i.e. at the end of your relationship and after you and her broke up).
In other words, if you were being insecure, needy, clingy, immature, irresponsible, submissive, took her for granted, treated her more like a friend than a lover, or behaved in any other unattractive ways, your ex is going to be remembering those things about you and that is going to make her feel resentful towards you.
So, for her to change her mind and want to give you another chance, you need to show her that you’re now a different man than the guy in her mind, so she will naturally start to feel differently about you.
Of course, you can’t tell her that you’ve changed, because she probably won’t believe you.
Instead, you need to show her that you’ve changed, based on how you communicate and interact with her on phone calls and in person.
For example: Imagine that a guy is on a call with his ex woman and she says something along the lines of, “I don’t have feelings for you anymore. What we had is over and I’m never going to get back into a relationship with you again!”
She will likely be expecting him to get upset when she says that and possibly even respond by saying something like, “Please don’t say that! I know I made a mistake but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
In her mind, that will prove to her that he’s still the same guy he was when she broke up with him (e.g. emotionally weak, needy, insecure, unable to stand up for himself) and she will stick to her decision to not give him another chance.
So, to show her that he’s changed, he reacts differently to the way she’s expecting him to.
He laughs at her (in a loving way) and says something like, “I’m cool with that. We don’t need to get back together again. It’s totally fine. Let’s just relax, hang out and enjoy each other’s company as friends instead,” and then he changes the subject.
Chances are, his ex will be shocked (in a good way) by his new, confident attitude towards her.
She will then open up even more to talking to him over the phone and meeting up with him in person to see how she feels when she’s with him.
In the same way, when you show your ex that you truly have changed and improved in some of the ways that actually matter to her and at the same time, you don’t put pressure on her to give you another chance, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling differently about you (i.e. respectful, attracted).
You can then build on those feelings and get her to the point where she is the one who starts talking about getting back together again, rather than the other way around.
Another thing you can do to help your ex get over her resentment towards you and give you another chance is to…
4. Understand the secret, subtle things that turned her off about you
In most cases, a guy has a general idea about what caused his relationship with his ex to crumble (e.g. he became too clingy, he took her for granted, he didn’t want to commit), but a lot of guys don’t really know the deeper, more subtle reasons that cause a woman’s feelings to erode over time.
This is why, unless you can fully understand your ex’s real, more subtle reasons for breaking up with you and change those things about yourself, she’s not going to stop resenting you and give you another chance.
So, if you’re not 100% sure why your ex is currently resenting you and unwilling to give you another chance, here are a few examples of some of the secret things that turn a woman off in a relationship with a guy:
- She feels like she can’t be her true self around him (e.g. because he mocks her dreams and goals, he’s always criticizing her appearance/friends/intelligence).
- He is easily pushed around and manipulated by other people and can’t stand up for himself (e.g. his friends influence him into doing things she doesn’t approve of, his co-workers take advantage of him by giving him their extra workload).
- He has a wandering eye.
- He’s always assuming the worst about her (e.g. if she’s late in coming home or gets a message on her phone from another guy, he assumes it’s because she’s cheating on him, if she used to drink/take drugs before she met him he accuses her of relapsing if she goes out with her friends).
- He expects her to do everything for him while he just sits around being waited on by her.
- She matured faster than him and feels like he’s holding her back (e.g. she wants to settle down/start a family/focus on her career while he’s irresponsible and reckless).
- He avoids building better relationships with her family and friends and tends to keep to himself, even though she has told him that this is important to her.
Once you understand the real reasons she felt pushed to break up with you, you can re-attract her in the ways that really matter to her (i.e. by responding and behaving differently to the way you did before).
When she experiences your new, attractive behavior, she will naturally begin to feel more respect and attraction for you as a man.
When that happens, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to hold on to her resentment towards you.
She will then drop her guard and allow herself to open back up to the idea of giving you another chance.
Another thing you can do to help your ex get over her resentment towards you and give you another chance is to…
5. Become more emotionally independent
Essentially, what this means is that you need to reach the point where you can…
- Be happy and content with or without her.
- Be confident with or without her support.
- Move forward in your life with or without her.
- Believe in yourself and in your value as a man, with or without her approval.
Of course, feeling that way doesn’t mean you don’t want her back.
The big difference is that you don’t need her back to have a good, productive and successful life.
You want her back, but don’t need her back.
When you focus on becoming genuinely happy without your ex, not only will it bother you less that she’s being resentful towards you, but you will also become more attractive to her (and to women in general).
Women, including ex’s, are attracted to a good man who is confident, happy and forward moving in life, regardless of what the woman he loves says or does.
In other words, he is emotionally strong and independent and is good to her and appreciates having her in his life, but he doesn’t need her.
Your ex won’t admit that she wants you to be like that, but be like that and she will want you.
Her feelings of resentment will begin to melt away and all of a sudden she wants to talk to you on the phone and meet up with you in person, because she feels good when she’s interacting with you.
Common Problems Guys Experience When Trying to Make an Ex Stop Resenting Them so They Can Get Back Together Again
You now have 5 things you can do to help your ex get over her resentment towards you and give you another chance.
Here are 5 common problems/mistakes that guys in a situation like yours can experience along the way…
1. She closes up and doesn’t want to work on the relationship
Sometimes, a guy simply cannot understand why his woman is feeling so resentful towards him and refusing to give their relationship another chance.
In his mind he may be thinking things like, “She owes it to me to give me another chance, because at the beginning of our relationship we promised each other we would be together forever, no matter what happened to try and tear us apart.”
He might then say to his ex, “You promised that nothing could ever make you stop loving me. So, why are you being so stubborn now and refusing to give me a chance? Can’t you see that we owe it to each other to try again?”
Yet, rather than see the error of her ways, saying that to a woman only makes her close up and not want to work on the relationship even more.
Here’s the thing…
In the past, a woman would be forced to marry a guy picked out for her by her father or guardian and then she had to stay with him for life, regardless of how miserable she felt with him.
That’s not the way it works anymore.
These days, if a woman loses too much respect and attraction for a guy, she can not only break up with him, but she can also decide not to give him another chance if she doesn’t want to, because she’s not his property.
He doesn’t own her and she can do what she wants based on how she feels in the moment (i.e. how she feels now is what matters to her, not how she felt before).
So, if you try to force your ex into giving you another chance, she’ll not only end up resenting you even more, she’ll also make it harder for you to interact with her so that you can reactivate her feelings and get her back.
Another common problem/mistake that guys in a situation like yours can experience along the way is…
2. She doesn’t feel motivated to give him another chance because the attraction isn’t mutual
Very often, when a guy wants his ex back, he focuses on trying to convince her to give him another chance.
Essentially, he pushes her to open up (e.g. by begging and pleading with her, apologizing to her over and over again, promising her that he will change, offering to do anything she wants to make her happy) so that they can be a couple again.
However, because he hasn’t bothered to reactivate her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for him first, she keeps pushing him away and saying, “No. I don’t want to be a couple again. Why can’t you get that into your head and just leave me alone!”
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, don’t waste time trying to convince her to stop resenting you and open back up to the idea of having a relationship.
Instead, just focus on using every interaction that you have with her (i.e. especially over the phone and in person) to re-spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
The more she starts to associate positive feelings to interacting with you, the more her resentment melts away.
However, if you keep trying to force her to get over her resentment and give you a chance, the more stubborn and closed off she will remain.
Another common problem/mistake that guys in a situation like yours can experience along the way is…
3. She is turned off by his desperation to get another chance with her
In most cases, the more a guy tries to convince his ex to give him another chance, the more turned off she feels by what she perceives as his obsessive, needy, desperate behavior.
She then starts thinking things like, “He’s totally out of control. I am now seeing him in a way that I never did before and it’s creeping me out. He’s being so wimpy and needy all of a sudden and it’s turning me off. In fact, I’m even more convinced now that he’s not the right guy for me and that I made the right decision in breaking up with him.”
Here’s the thing…
Wanting your ex back is perfectly fine.
However, you can’t become desperate for it to happen.
If you let her sense that you’re feeling desperate, you will be doing the opposite of what a man needs to do to get an ex back (i.e. reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him).
Another common problem/mistake that guys in a situation like yours can experience along the way is…
4. He tries to make her get over her resentment via text messages
Sometimes, a guy might send his ex walls of text messages apologizing, explaining and begging her to stop being so resentful towards him.
He may say things like, “I’m really sorry for stuffing things up between us. I know I hurt you and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Please stop being so resentful towards me all the time. I just want to make things right between us. Why won’t you at least give me a chance?”
Yet, rather than think something like, “He really sounds so sincere. Have I been too hard on him? Maybe I should give us a chance,” this makes her feel even more resentful (e.g. because he doesn’t even care enough for her to call or meet up).
She then closes herself off even more and possibly even blocks his number on her phone so he can’t get through to her.
Another common problem/mistake that guys in a situation like yours can experience along the way is…
4. He makes her feel like the relationship could work if she was willing to put in the effort
When a woman is being stubborn and refusing to let go of her resentment, a guy might feel tempted to say something like, “Why are you making things so difficult? I know I stuffed up but at least I’m trying to make it right. You’re the one who won’t even try. I bet if you stop resenting me so much, we could actually work things out and fix our relationship.”
Yet, that’s not how to get a woman back.
You’ve got to make her naturally feel respect, attraction and love for you.
When you do that, it becomes practically effortless.
She’s motivated to listen, open up and help make the relationship work.
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