1. Attract her and make her really want you back, then tell her that you think it’s best to not speak for a couple of weeks
If your main reason for wanting to play hard to get with an ex after being clingy is to get her back, then your interactions with her from now on need to be about you re-sparking some of her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you instead.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Using humor to ease the tension and awkwardness between you and her and make her feel good to be interacting with you again, rather than feeling tense and like she wants nothing to do with you anymore.
- Making sure that you believe in yourself and in your value to her, rather than beating yourself up about being clingy and feeling as though you don’t deserve her back as a result, which she will pick up on and feel turned off about.
- Being aware that she’s going to test you to see if you’re still the same clingy guy you were before (e.g. by being cold and aloof towards you, pretending that she doesn’t want to give you another chance), so make sure that you maintain your confidence with her, rather than becoming upset or giving up on getting her back.
- Being bold enough to flirt with her and create some sexual tension between you, rather acting like just a friend, or worse, like you’re not interested in her in a sexual and romantic way anymore.
- Showing her via your actions, behavior and conversation style that you really are different now (i.e. you’re more emotionally independent).
Then, once you’ve reawakened her sexual and romantic feelings for you again and she starts showing signs of wanting to get back together again (e.g. she talks about you and her as though you’re a couple again, she wants to see you more often, she hints at the idea of getting back together), pull away a little bit.
For example: You can say something along the lines of, “I think it’s better if we don’t talk or see each other for a couple of weeks so we can figure out how we both feel. I don’t want to rush into something and then end up making the same mistakes as before.”
She will likely be a bit confused when you say that to her (i.e. because you’ve made her feel attracted and she wants you back), but she will also feel a surge of respect and attraction for you for not trying to rush her back into a relationship with you like your old clingy self would have done.
Then, if she reaches out during those two weeks, show some interest, but make sure that you’re relaxed and calm about it, rather than being overly excited that she’s reaching out to you first.
From there, arrange a meet up and get her back for real this time.
Another way you can play hard to get with an ex after being clingy is to…
2. Playfully mess with her when you talk with her, rather than being neutral or too nice
A lot of guys really beat themselves up about being clingy in a relationship with a woman.
So, after they get broken up with, interacting with their ex becomes difficult for them, because they don’t know how to act and behave around her so that she doesn’t perceive them as still being clingy.
As a result, a guy like that will be neutral, or nice and polite during interactions with his ex, to avoid giving her the impression that he misses her.
Yet, behaving in that way doesn’t help a guy get his ex back and it usually doesn’t fool her into believing he’s no longer clingy either.
Instead, it likely makes her think that he’s being neutral or nice and polite as a way of hiding his clinginess from her.
So, a better way to interact with your ex to make her see you differently, is by being a bit cheeky and messing with her head.
For example: If she asks if you miss her, playfully say something like, “Of course I miss you! You know I can’t cook a thing. I haven’t had a decent meal in weeks. What’s not to miss?” or, “I suppose I did miss you for about 5 minutes and then I realized I get control of the TV remote again and the feeling went away after that.”
By interacting with her in that way she’s most likely going to smile and laugh.
What does smiling and laughing do?
It creates some feelings.
She respects that you have the confidence and the social skills to make her laugh and smile in a moment like that.
She also begins to see you in a different light.
Rather than continue seeing you as her clingy ex, she starts to see another more attractive and emotionally independent side to you.
She then naturally becomes more open to giving you another chance.
Then, getting back together again becomes easy.
Another way you can play hard to get with an ex after being clingy is to…
3. Be a challenge to impress
Being more of a challenge means you’re not always at your ex’s disposal like you used to be before.
For example: If in the past you were always available to her every beck and call and dropped everything you were doing, no matter how important to run around for her, make sure that you now put yourself first from time to time.
So, if your ex asks you for a favor, rather than saying “Yes,” to her every time, you can occasionally say something along the lines of, “Sorry, but I’m busy and won’t be able to help you out this time.”
Alternatively, if she asks you if you’re seeing someone else, rather than quickly deny it like you would have in the past, you can just shrug and brush her off by saying, “Maybe,” and then changing the subject.
That will almost certainly leave her feeling curious and possibly even a bit wound up that you’re not coming clean to her.
Essentially, by being more of a challenge to your ex, rather than always saying what she expects and doing whatever she wants, she starts to feel attracted to you again in a way that feels good to her.
As a result her defenses come down and she becomes open to interacting with you more and more to see where things go from there.
By the way…
Don’t go too far with being a challenge.
You have to still show some interest because some women can become insecure and assume that you’re not interested anymore.
The way to think about it is that being a challenge is very attractive to women, being way too challenging is exhausting and not being a challenge is boring.
Another way you can play hard to get with an ex after being clingy is to…
4. Do fun things with other people and really enjoy it
One thing that definitely says, “I’m no longer that clingy guy you used to know,” to a woman is when he gets on with his life after their break up.
So, instead of sitting at home alone and feeling sad and dejected, you need to let her see that you don’t need her to be happy.
Don’t tell her that you don’t need her to be happy though.
Let her see it and sense it.
Show her by living your life and having fun with other people, without her needing to be there too.
Let her see that you are happy, confident and moving forward in life now and you don’t need her in order to feel content and emotionally fulfilled.
However, make sure that you also let her see that you do still love her.
By becoming emotionally independent, you are showing your ex that you’re no longer the clingy guy she broke up with.
When she notices that, she won’t be able stop herself from feeling respect for you again, because you are now behaving like the kind of man she always wanted you to be.
When she respects you, she also starts to feel attracted to you again and then opening back up to the idea of being with you starts to feel good to her.
From there you can seduce her into kissing you, having sex with you and getting into a relationship with you again.
5 Ways Not to Behave With an Ex Woman After Being Clingy (if You Want Her Back)
Being clingy is a mistake that many guys make with a woman.
So, stop beating yourself up about it.
It happened, but it’s over now.
You’ve learned from your mistake and you’ve leveled up as a man.
The important thing from now on is to think, act and behave like the new and improved man that you are and part of that is to make sure you don’t make any of the following mistakes:
1. Cutting off contact for a month to hopefully show her that you don’t care anymore
Ignoring an ex woman for a month or more after a break up can make her miss her ex and want him back, if she secretly still has feelings for him.
In a case like that, she will likely think something along the lines of, “Why isn’t he contacting me? Why doesn’t he care about me anymore? I miss him. Maybe I should send him a text/call him on the phone to say hi and see what happens from there.”
However, even then, a woman will usually avoid making the first move with an ex guy, because she doesn’t want to be rejected by him if he really has lost interest in her.
On the other hand, that tactic almost never works when a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy and has broken up with him because he turned her off by being clingy.
Instead, she will almost certainly use the time apart to get over him and move on, usually by hooking up with and dating other men.
Additionally, if she suspects that he’s just playing mind games with her to try and get her back, she will feel even more turned off by him and then she will probably double her efforts to find a replacement guy.
This is why, if you want to prove to your ex that you’re no longer clingy and get her back, don’t play mind games with her that can backfire on you.
A better way to approach the situation is by giving her a week of space to allow for things to calm down between you and make her miss you a little bit.
Then call her on the phone and make her laugh, smile and feel good to be hearing from you again and arrange to see her in person.
Then, when you meet up with her, continue showing her via your attitude, conversation style, actions, behavior and the way you respond to her that you’re no longer the clingy guy she broke up with.
When she experiences the new, more emotionally independent version of you, she will naturally drop her guard around you.
She then becomes open to giving you another chance, because she can see that you really are different now.
However, if you stick to playing mind games with her, you may end up losing her for real.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Playing too hard to get when responding to her texts
A guy might decide to take a long time in responding to any texts that his ex might send him as a way of showing her that he’s changed.
Yet, rather than make a woman see that as a sign that he’s no longer clingy and needy, she will usually just assume that he’s still the same as before and is just ‘playing it cool’ to trick her into giving him another chance.
So, rather than think, “Why isn’t he texting me back? Could it be possible that he’s already found another girl? He’s always taking so long to reply to me and sometimes he doesn’t even respond. Maybe he’s really over me!” she will be thinking something like, “I bet he’s sitting at home looking at the phone all the time and when he hears from me, he acts like he’s busy and ignores me or takes forever to respond. He probably thinks I won’t realize that he’s playing hard to get with me as a way of convincing me that he’s changed his clingy ways. Even now, he doesn’t know how to act like a real man. Instead, he thinks he can play mind games with me and I will fall for it and get back with him. That’s just so sad.”
She may then just stop texting him and even block his number on her phone, making it really difficult for him to interact with her and reactivate her feelings for him.
So, if you truly want to convince your ex that you’re no longer a clingy guy, don’t act like an immature boy.
A real man wouldn’t play games with a woman he wants.
Instead, he would take action to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for him and get her back.
That doesn’t mean you should respond to her texts right away and then end up giving her the impression that you’re sitting by the phone waiting for her to contact you.
Instead, just take your time to reply when you are genuinely busy and if you are available, reply quickly or fairly soon after she texts.
Sometimes it’s okay to reply instantly, but only do that about 20% of the time.
For the remaining 80%, just mix things up between replying quickly, soon after, an hour or two later or even later in the day or the next day if you’re unavailable (e.g. she texts you late at night when you’re about to fall asleep, so rather than respond right away, wait until the next day).
The more you behave like an emotionally mature man, the more likely it is that she will begin to feel respect for you again.
When she respects you, she will also start to feel attracted to you and then getting her back becomes easy for you because she’s open to it.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Lying about dating other women or having women interested in you
Sometimes a guy will try to make his ex regret breaking up with him by showing her that he’s fine without her and already moving on.
He’s hoping that she will see how valuable he is and come running back to him.
Yet, lying about dating other women is something that can backfire pretty badly.
Here’s the thing…
If your ex catches you out in a lie (which is pretty easy for most women to do), she will likely think you’re a loser or emotionally immature for trying to trick her and she will then lose even more respect and attraction for you.
On the other hand, if she does feel jealous and decides to give you another chance with her, if she then discovers that nothing about you has really changed and you’re still the same clingy, needy guy she broke up with, she will almost certainly break up with you again.
Except this time, she may force herself to move on quickly by hooking up sexually with another man to get back at you.
So, rather than trying to trick your ex woman back into your life and stand the chance of losing her again for real this time, just use an approach that is going to work.
What is that approach?
Interact with her and make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to the new and improved version of you.
When she experiences you in a new way (i.e. you now respond and react differently to the way you did before), she will naturally start to feel open to you again.
You can then guide her back into a new relationship with you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Rubbing your newfound confidence and happiness in her face, rather than being cool and easygoing about it
Bouncing back from a break up and coming back better than you were before is something you should be proud of.
So, don’t be afraid to show your new confident, happy self to your ex.
In actual fact, it’s something that will automatically make you more attractive and desirable to her, because women are instinctively attracted to confident, emotionally strong men who are able to grow and become better versions of themselves after a challenging situation (e.g. a break up).
However, if you try to rub it in her face (e.g. brag to her about how great your life is now), you could risk turning her off instead of re-attracting her.
Rather than take your newfound confidence and happiness as a sign that you’ve become an emotionally independent man who can now be happy with or without her, she will likely just assume that you’re putting on an act to impress her and she will feel turned off by your childishness.
She may then just cut you off and focus on moving on without you.
This is why you need to make sure that when you interact with your ex, you let her experience your newfound confidence through your attitude, conversation style and the way you act and respond to her.
Be relaxed and easygoing and let your actions speak for themselves.
When she senses that you’re genuinely happy without her and moving on without feeling the need to brag, she will feel attracted to you again.
The next mistake to avoid is…
5. Hoping that if you act the opposite of clingy (i.e. completely disinterested), it will make her chase you and want you back
Most women aren’t stupid.
So, when a guy goes from being clingy and needy to not interested in her in a matter of days or weeks, she will almost certainly assume that he’s putting on a act to trick her into giving him another chance.
As a result, she will lose even more respect for him for resorting to games, rather than actually putting in the effort to level up and become a better man.
At the same time, because she has disconnected from her feelings for him, rather than care that he’s no longer interested in her, she will usually just shrug it off and focus on moving on herself (usually with a new man).
Here’s the thing…
If you want your girl back, don’t play games with her.
Instead, quickly change your approach to attraction with her so that you can reactivate her feelings for you.
Then, when she’s feeling drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her, hug, kiss, have sex and get back together again.
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